Quick, name a website. Could be any, doesn't matter.
Photo by Simone Andress, via Shutterstock
the internet, fate
@atipofthehat Love that site! That Enid Zuckerman is a gas.
I know, she's amazing! But I'm worried about her plan to sail to Greenland solo. Will the authorities even allow it?
Also, that commenter smile is a genius.
You're very very goooooooooood:D@l
I said it there and I'll say it here: AV Club!
@spoondisaster His response was:
"You lounge in a cashmere bathrobe — no they *don't* make those, until you funded the most lucrative Etsy "alchemy" project of all time — smoking a cigar full of pot, your very breath so potent that someone could whip it into brownie mix and get so high they could lose the plot thread of "Jack and Jill". Your smoke (before it's whipped into brownies, obvs) spells out the words "I approve" and a starving artist finds himself beloved and wealthy. You're not a kingmaker. Kingmaking is for amateurs. You're the spinning top three levels down in the kingmaking reverse-hierarchy."
@spoondisaster what an amazing response
@spoondisaster Also you really like the Hold Steady for some reason
I can't really think of any?
@leastimportantperson And how could I pick a favorite even if I could? They're basically all the same.
@leastimportantperson JK love u most, Hairpin! And that is straight uncanny, because I AM weirdly good at guessing the time. Swear!
@leastimportantperson me too! I saw that part and thought, "oh, creepy."
Better definition for the Hairpin: you are not afraid to share your deepest darkest secrets/fears with strangers on the Internets. Also, you wish you could be a true Clean Person.
@Alexandra Martell "You're only honest with people you can't see."
@Alexandra Martell Oh, this is a good one. Pretty sure hairpin commenter know more about me than most of my irl friends, which is... maybe a little sad? But I'm kind of okay with it.
@Alexandra Martell I thought his was pretty good, though! It caught the spirit, even though I think most Pinners would be less concerned about hand towels in particular than, say, smelly humidifiers.
@Alexandra Martell pfffft I don't even know what y'all are talking about. oversharing on the internet? as IF.
@miwome What are you, some kind of PEASANT?!
@Craftastrophies ...Well, my mom says that's why we have such big arms.
@miwome (I definitely have spade-like hands. All the better for digging potatoes...)
aw, no ONTD!
@LeafySeaDragon Put it in the comments, he'll give you one!
Hairpin, you're the only blog for me. You're the only blog I've ever loved, did you know that, Hairpin? I'm a one-blog woman.
@Marzipan I read a lot of blogs, but I would give up all the rest for The Hairpin.
@jen325 I had to choose between tumblr and the hairpin (and getting fired). The hairpin won (that, and not getting fired). I have no regrets.
@Craftastrophies Even if getting fired weren't a factor, you clearly made the right choice. This is the best blog ever, hands down, past, present, and future, amen and stuff.
I don't even know what that meeeaaanns! Do I need to find a new favorite?
@Lily Rowan Stick to your guns. I don't get it either. I think trying to understand it is how THEY GET YOU, like looking into Medusa's eyes.
I'm with you, toots.
@atipofthehat Toots is my favorite term of endearment, as long as it's used properly.
It has to be short for Tootsie Roll, and therefore is a term of endearment for people you like?
Or is there some other reason why the young ladies are calling me Sugar Daddy?
@atipofthehat "toots" !!!!
@atipofthehat When she called me bit-o-honey I was really confused.
Were you wearing your Mary Janes?
I've been reading Dashiell Hammett....
@atipofthehat You really do know all the right things to say to a lady.
@atipofthehat I once worked with the most technologically illiterate man I have ever known. Once he tried to use the binding machine as a fax.
One time his wife came to pick him up. I called him from the front desk to let him know. He answered (the obvious internal ring, with 'reception' lighting up on the phone screen) with 'is that you, toots?'
He couldn't really meet my eyes again after that.
But, what if you try to Read ALL the Things? Does that make you a kickpunching, networking, owner of an unconventional bicycle that has a cartoon drawn on the measurement conversion fact sheet that is in your wallet next to the theatre tickets that are underneath your purse dog, who's had to listen to you debate the merits of Five Guys vs In n' Out as well as the deliciousness of this brie you found that just tasted so perfect with those Pink Lady apples?
"you have an odd knack for remembering where random items are, making your boyfriend's quest for that one gold paperclip that much easier."
@sharkburp I do this with my grandma and the remote, her specific knitting needles, pieces of jewelry, the Hershey's Syrup.
@sharkburp I do this at friend's houses.
"Where the HELL is my purse?"
"It's behind the piano, next to the bag of clothes to go to the thrift store."
Virtual self-reflection does not compute.
Best thing ever.
Besides The Hairpin.
Aw, you know I love you, baby.
@OxfordComma I thin the Longform/Hairpin combo goes something like "Sometimes you spend too much time on a smoky eye look just to sit in your apartment and drink wine and read 10 true crime pieces that once ran in Texas Monthly back to back."
@Andrea K@twitter : I TOTALLY DID THAT.
...you...my life....how did...WITCHCRAFT
Hairpin is my fav and it's totally true: A lot of shit in my life is out of control, but I would never make my guests wipe their hands on a bath towel like a heathen.
Given that my husband loves placing rocks in little patterns to amuse future hikers, I'm recommending Neatorama to him asap.
Suri's Burn Book: You secretly love celebrity culture, but can only take it with a straight face when a 3-year-old analyzes it.
@Ophelia Omigod you caught me. In your net of correctness.
@miwome Watch out - while you're stuck in there, Shiloh's gonna give you the side-eye.
I never thought "spunky" was a gross word until now. Now it definitely sounds gross, even though the original meaning is very accurate in describing the readership here.
The jizzcliner was certainly spunky.
@punkahontas I miss "spirited," also. It's not vaguely gross, just old fashioned.
Is it weird that I've only been on BoingBoing once, and yet I am totally the Cool Aunt?
why is "spunky" gross? Non-native-speaker here... my dictionary says it's kinda like couragous and fiery and spirited!? Also, while we're at it: is "plucky" also bad?
See bullet 5.
@atipofthehat ooooh, I see, thanks! Would have been a nice word though. (Also I like bullet 3: "referring to the person with an x-factor") but: plucky is still good, right?
@Inspector Tiger I think the connotation of both spunky and plucky is that it's a girl (read: naturally helpless) who somehow (?!) can Do Things, and Keep A Positive Attitude at the same time.
To which I say, "fuck you," naturally.
You've got moxie - the fighting heart.
@Lily Rowan If anyone wants to spend .99 for a musical interpretation of "plucky," I recommend #3: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/royalcrownplayers
@Lily Rowan aaah, ok, it's hard to get all that subtext when you're only relying on written sources (plus televison & film, of course) the only time I heard it was katherine hepburn being called spunky once, so I thought, "must be good" :) thank you for the explanations!
@Lily Rowan Spunky for me (and its sister word, Sassy) is like saying, "yeah, she's got a mouth on her...but I'd still fuck her!" Blegh.
@Inspector Tiger I hope this is the right clip -- didn't watch it at work, but it should be a classic from the Mary Tyler Moore show in 1970: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNyj4FV56JY
@Lily Rowan that explains a lot, thanks!
@tortietabbie I've heard that a lot of Women of Colour really hate 'sassy', too, because it has connotations of 'doesn't know her place'. (Cannot find source).
I am pretty sure that the problematic definition of "spunky" was originally a Britishism. Until that migrated across the pond, it was just dandy here.
Ooooh, I am such a blog slut. But The Hairpin is one of my main squeezes.
It's true about the hand towels!
It's true, I do have an uncanny ability to guess the correct time of day within a five-minute range. Glad I can focus on that now, instead of convincing my mom to divorce my dad.
@yamtoes Me too! It's my only superpower.
@Jillsy Sloper Mine is getting the right number of things that I need, without knowing how many I'll need! Exactly 11 folders, precisely 15 rows in the table I'm creating, etc.
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