...the divorce — and marriage — we know hardly anything about! Everyone fall back. Here are the things we do know:
They would use any excuse to throw a party or wear costumes.
They had babies.
They often publicly expressed fondness for one another — which is what is expected when you are asked about your spouse.
That's pretty much it. I'm serious, if you know any more actual details about what really went on inside their relationship, please let us know. Speculation here, but someone probably cheated, right? Then again, who knows? In summation: people break up, and sometimes we know why but other times we don't know why because we're not best friends with them or their therapist. I mean that we're not their therapist, not that we're not best friends with their therapist because then we still shouldn't know why they broke up because that would be unethical for our therapist best friend to divulge that information to us. *Looks up "summation."*
According to TMZ, Seal has a very bad temper and Heidi was fed up with it, also scheduling? I hate that I am even commenting on this. Especially with the post today about how gossip is bad.
@CrescentMelissa Hey now, some of the science blogs I read say that gossip is an essential human bonding activity!
@lovelettersinhell Oh sure, give evo-psych a pass when it's something you like ;)
@CrescentMelissa i refrain from gossip in rl about people i know.
tbh i LOVE gossiping, it was a hard habit to kick.
@LeafySeaDragon So hard!
Someone cheated in 3...2...
They got divorced? WHAT ABOUT THE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES?!
@dj pomegranate i know! halloween is also ruined!
but also, anytime anyone seems to renew their vows, it is t minus 12 months to divorce time, I swear.
@Megan Patterson@facebook And, they renewed their vows I think every year? Interesting.
@Megan Patterson@facebook Right? It's like renewing your vows is a last-ditch effort to prove that you don't need to renew them. Or maybe it's that during the vow-renewal-ceremony, it occurs to you that you actually don't really like these vows after all?
@dj pomegranate These vows, marriage is a huge promise to make to someone. I have been married 11 years and it is a constant process of new understandings, compromise, and just making it work for you, in whatever way that means. So not easy. I wonder if all of their vow renewals were just a "let's look at this" to make sure they still felt the same?
@dj pomegranate unless it's the parent's in In and Out. sweetest cinema wedding ever.
and of course cutest kevin kline movie (except for french kiss and pirates of penzance, and i love you to death.. and.. well SO I HAVE A KEVIN KLINE THING, SOWAT?)
@LeafySeaDragon I <3 Kevin Kline like nobody's business. I mean, Dave!! Was a great movie.
@CrescentMelissa, you are right. I was trying to comment on how it seems like so many celebrity couples renew their vows and then get divorced a matter of months later--as if the renewal was a last-ditch effort to publicize or prove to someone or...whatever.
I like the idea of vow renewals as "let's look at this and re-calibrate." :)
@dj pomegranate haven't watched dave in forever. ah, love him. have you seen queen to play (french film)?
@dj pomegranate I do too. People often forget I think that the marriage in and of itself is another being to take care of, just like your kids, puppies, everything. Vow renewal or even just taking a step back to look around at the state of the union is an excellent practice.
@LeafySeaDragon No but I will see it and report back! Kevin Kline speaking French ahhhhhhhh!
@dj pomegranate I definitely have a Kevin Kline thing too - but you guys missed two of my favorites, Soapdish and A Fish Called Wanda. I love it when he just starts reciting names of Italian foods because Jamie Lee Curtis loves men speaking Italian.
@LeafySeaDragon Lovely movie! Really made me want to start playing chess again
love is dead.
Love is auf'ed. :(
@travelmugs One day it's in, the next day it's out.
@applestoapples They just didn't care enough to make it work.
@travelmugs I guess this week's guest judge is an actual divorce judge. Sigh.
This is fake. I refuse to believe "Kiss From A Rose" is the work of a mere mortal, one subject to our human flaws. That shit is beyond the songwriting capabilities of anything below Seraphim.
@leon.saintjean
Still, a "Kiss From A Rose" by any other voice would not sound as sweet.
@MoonBat Unless it's the Dean and Jeff, in which case it is transcendent.
i don't trust grand romantic gestures. the proposal, the constant vow renewal. i'm not surprised at this at all. i can believe he had a nasty temper. nobody loves you like someone trying to make up for being an ass.
@LeafySeaDragon Agree. Grand gestures are in the protest-too-much category for me.
@LeafySeaDragon Totally. Also, I am always suspicious of people who frequently and vehemently proclaim their love in any and every public forum. It seems like every time someone says, "My relationship is wonderful and perfect!" the next thing you know, they're breaking up.
To be fair, celebrities are constantly asked about their relationships, and if they don't gush that opens a whole can of tabloid-headline-worms. But the wise decision would just be to have a blanket policy that you're not going to discuss your partner/relationship with the press.
@LeafySeaDragon So true.
* My brother likes to call all of their children "The Seal Pups" which I think is reason enough to stick together.
* Heidi has said that it was love at first sight...kind of. They were staying at the same hotel and she saw his junk in tight pants from across the lobby.
* Seal's bad temper may be caused by the medication he takes for his lupus.
* I think they'll get back together. They were just sick of vow-renewal parties & want another wedding.
@Anne, thank you for summing all that up. I think that's really all we need to know (esp the Seal Pups tidbit).
You actually never know why another couple broke up. A lot of the time, even the couple can't articulate it, and there is rarely just one reason for a breakup.
Probably unsurprising, but man, I am really pigged out by the gleeful reactions to breakups. Not really the case in regards to Heidi and Seal, but if you want a sip of gross, read any of the internet's reactions to Dooce and her husband breaking up.
@karion I will truly never understand why some people hate Dooce SO MUCH. How on earth can people get this angry over some woman on the Internet? Even if she bugs you....seriously, how can some people have THAT level of hate?
@karion oh god really? I'm not actually surprised but I do think that is incredibly depressing and disgusting. Personally I hope they work it out! :(
@karion DOOCE & HUSBAND BROKE UP TOO? I didn't know about that either?!
This is such a sad day on the internet.
@The Lady of Shalott: I can't get righteously indignant about hating people on the internet, lest I die of irony poisoning, BUT I just don't get the weirdo gleeful tone that people take about the breakup of Dooce's marriage.
Hell, I am not a regular reader. I find Dooce a little grating, which is why I don't remember to read her regularly. But the tone of the mostly female commentariat on the topic is just gross and embarrassing. Cringeworthy embarrassing, actually.
@The Lady of Shalott @dj pomegranate Oh gawd, really!? They broke up!? I don't read her blog that much anymore, but follow her and I totally missed this. I met her on her book tour and she is delightful. I haz a sad. D:
Ugh I can't even imagine how hard it must be to talk about your separation publicly when you basically know going in the vitriol you are going to receive.
@karion it's so icky how people are reacting to the end of the Blurbodoocery. I still reguarlarly read her, even though at times I found her a little grating, because in the last few months I noticed a return to the more nakedly honest writing about her struggles with mental illness, which I think is pretty courageous to be open about. So the fact that there's this whole contingent that is gleeful at her marriage's demise? UGH. Grow up, internet.
@karion When I saw this thread title I assumed the article would be about Dooce, not Heidi (no relation) and Seal. Apparently internet celebrities are more important to me than "real" celebrities?
I stopped reading Dooce for a while because I was sick of how often she talked about how much people hate her (really). But instead of being mean about her on the internet, I...stopped reading her blog. I KNOW. Revolutionary.
Why are people such a-holes?
Also, to be fair, per both of their blog posts, Dooce and her husband are in a trail separation. He sees the kids every day. They're figuring things out. Who knows how it will turn out.
@Heidi Yes good point! I had to correct my comment from divorce to separation. I really hope they work things out.
@karion Pardon my ignorance of pop culture (I'm usually so good at this!), but who is Dooce?
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Probably the most popular mommyblogger out there. Ex-mormon. Open about mental health issues. dooce.com
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher infamous mommyblogger
lots of people don't like her.
@karion - I feel terrible for their loss, but there's a little bit of glee cuz I just realized, well, I'm single, Heidi is single...you do the math.
I mean, other than millions of dollars, a beautiful voice, a ridiculous body, the most wonderful love song ever written, and a surplus of handsomeness, what does Seal have that I don't?
I totally have a scar on my face too. And mine is from riding a horse, not from lupus, which is way more ruggeder
(just kidding Seal, lupus is a sad and horrible disease and I respect what you have done bringing attention and efforts to combat the disease, and I feel bad for your break-up)
@leon.saintjean I love that you said ruggeder.
@leon.saintjean
Wait ....aren't Seal's scars from a social coming-of-age thing? I thought they were from ritual scarification?
@redheadedandcrazy @travelmugs Thank you! I will have to investigate more later.
@MoonBat Nope! In this case, Dr. House, it is Lupus!
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
Ahhhh, yep, the interweb concurs. Not much ritual scarification going on in London.
@karion I did the same thing! Kind of got over her blog so... stopped reading it. But Heather and Jon together always made me happy and I sincerely hope they work it out. My reaction is definitely NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
@heyits @redheadedandcrazy Dooce irks the crap out of me, particularly with her CONSTANT USE OF CAPITALS TO ILLUSTRATE HOW RIDICULOUS [____] IS (ALSO: POOP AND LOOK STUFF ON MY DOG'S HEAD), so I also stopped reading her blog awhile back.
However, this post - http://dooce.com/archives/daily/11_19_2004.html, which I stumbled upon during one of the darkest times of my life, still makes me bawl (hell, even just the title makes me tear up). Her (yes, capitalized) "I AM SO THANKFUL TO BE ALIVE" is exactly what it feels like to emerge from the fog of depression and reflect with complete clarity upon what you could have done to yourself whilst in the miasma.
The more people talk about depression, the less stigma it carries and the less shame its sufferers will feel. I am therefore utterly thankful that she is so open about her struggles with depression, and as sorry as I can be to hear that she, a complete stranger, has separated from her husband, particularly when it seems like he had a lot to do with her recovery (and a major life event like that can be a huge trigger for depression).
@LilyMarlene yes. yes. yes. Her honest writing about her struggles with depression are so great and I just have so much respect for her, for doing that. When I was in the grip of some pretty intense postpartum depression, literally the only thing that kept me from dropping off my child at his dad's house and hitchhiking to Canada, never to be seen again, was reading her posts about her struggles to stay alive through a terrifyingly intense time. So much respect.
And the end of that post? "hug your motherfucking family." oof.
@LilyMarlene Thanks for sharing this.
@heyits Agreed completely, and I am heart-sorry for your struggle with PPD. Depression is worse than terrifying; I genuflect to the gods of pharmaceuticals each day, thankful that we live in times where we can drug ourselves silly in order to simply survive our own brains (see also: antibiotics).
It's a bit terrifying to hear about a couple like the Dooces (or the Seals, Sonic Youth, or the seemingly-happy civilians we all know) splitting up. It may seem gross to some that there is so much scrutiny, but I think it's only human nature to want to find out "what happened" (like it's only ever one thing) so we can sort of compare and check our own relationships. Some people are motivated by rank curiosity, many out of sanctimony (read any RadarOnline article comment section for that perspective), sundry others by any number of other reasons.
I navigate life and love without a single clue of what makes a marriage/relationship work - i.e., when to hold and when to fold, and what to do in between. I find the Dooce story personally compelling because my partner is the generally stable member of our relationship, and I am prone to depression/anxiety/PTSD/general batshit insanity. This places a huge and weird burden on him, who definitely didn't sign up for the Brain Chemistry Failure Fun Park Tunnel of Love ride. We persevere (and dare I say, are happy most of the time), but I always feel like we're a hair's breadth away from our relationship suddenly and violently collapsing.
This is contrary to any evidence or experience of ours, and holds true even on a beautiful day where he's contentedly playing with his socket set, I'm manufacturing scented vinegar and shampooing the dog with even more vinegar products, and all is well. Part of that fear is my constantly humming anxiety, and the fact that nothing on earth can ever reassure me of my security in any area of my life whatsoever. But another part is looking at couples like those above and wondering "how did they survive so long, and at what point did it finally become too much?"
But in the end, yes - the only answer is to hug your motherfucking family. And your pets, your friends, your parole officer, and/or anyone else who needs a motherfucking hug.
@LilyMarlene Thank you so much for your beautiful comment. I'm so glad that you have a good support in your partner, and it sounds like you've found a way to support yourself. It's so interesting how just under the surface in so many of us there are these daily battles we fight, and it just takes the right combination to result in dialogue about those battles. It's a good reminder for me to be more aware of not just my pain that I grapple with, but the pain of others. Somehow, reading your comment makes me feel less alone in my existential angst and worry about the world ending and heart-pounding anxiety. Hugging my motherfucking family, yes. But also sending a motherfucking hug out to you.
I saw them in NYC once about 7 years ago. She was pregnant and I actually recognized them because of him -- he is stunning. Um, that's like all the gossip I have. They got out of a Lincoln Town Car and went to a pediatrician down the street from my then-office.
@rocknrollunicorn Right?! I feel like people talk about them as thought Heidi is slumming it with an average-looking guy, but Seal is HOT. They are (...were?) a very good-looking couple.
@tortietabbie And they have absolutely adorable children. Not that this is relevant at all to their marriage or separation or the sadness thereof, just a fact. Really. Cute. Kids.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher That makes me the saddest. Especially for little Leni who now has another family fall apart. Flavio has (probably) never been a part of her life and now this one goes poof. Not saying stick it out for kids, but it makes it sadder because they're all so so little.
Overall, VERY UPSET. And yet, my spidey sense tingled a year or two ago when I was reading an interview with them, and Seal came off sounding like...kind of a jerk? So maybe the "bad temper" rumor is accurate?
Aw! So much for my belief that the couple who throws elaborate costume parties together stays together. I always thought those two were just odd enough of a match that they'd have to last.
I feel like I'm the only person not surprised by this. Something about them always seemed off to me and the renewing of their vows every year seemed like either a grab for attention or like one of them was trying to prove to the other that they were still in love.
@Slutface how do you think I feel? I DON'T EVEN REALLY KNOW WHO THESE TWO PEOPLE ARE
My brain: "Is that a face tattoo in that photo? Must be Mike Tyson. Oh wait it's Seal. Something something Batman soundtrack middle school. No idea who that woman is. Heidi Klum? Is that right? She's a model right? I guess they were married and now they are divorced? YOU TRULY DO LEARN SOMETHING EVERY DAY"
@dracula's ghost
Totally off topic, but I lurve that you are using the "fuck you shark, you are drunk" for your photo!
@MoonBat it makes me laugh every time I see it
@dracula's ghost @MoonBat: Ms. Stodden is a national treasure.
This is the perfect opportunity for me to bust out "Kiss From A Rose" at karaoke. I've been honing it for some time.
Also, this didn't upset me half as much as Kim and Thurston's break up.
@Decca typo! you mean kim and kris' break up right? i know, me too
I can vouch that he's moody! I served him once, and he was an asshole at first and got really snippy, then realized that this was a packed Starbucks and everyone knew who he was, then he was super nice. He also got an insanely high maintenance drink, something like half-caf, extra hot, one splenda, soy latte. I will say this of him though, he had a real presence, and was was taller than I imagined.