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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

334

Beauty Q&A: Freeboobing and Cute Pajamas

Will you talk more about freeboobing? Is it just an under-30 thing? Because I've had two children and my breasts have gone from a C (originally), to massive, to a less than perky A. Is it too late for me, unless I fork over the $7K and get my boobies reworked? It would be nice to look all fresh and hot, but I just don't think I can pull it off.

Here's my philosophy: only freeboob for a reason — to create a certain silhouette, because straps would ruin the look, because you're trying to get laid, etc. Never freeboob out of laziness — you can leave that to the 23-year-olds. When you try on clothes that might work without a bra, look in the mirror and think, "but would I feel better about this if I were Bianca Jagger?" or some version of that. It's less about having the exact right kind of boobs (no such thing) than it is a matter of putting yourself in the mindset of the woman you see rocking this look who obviously does not give a shit what anyone thinks, you know?

As for what to wear exactly, if you're not feeling 100% awesome about your tits for some insane reason, try an open back sweater — the item I most often wear without a bra. You could also do a sheer top with strategically placed pockets or a drapey t-shirt with a scarf or cardigan for a little more coverage. But if you are feeling daring and confident, I personally think few things are sexier than all but Big Ang's brand of boobs under a sheer-ish top. (Sorry, ladies with huge-mongous knockers. You get to have the kinds of fun most of us only dream of, so let us have this one stupid little thing.)

If you're more into the shape that going braless gives you than the exposure, don't forget about camisoles. Silk camisoles. Camisoles that will lightly lay over your boobs and disguise your nips, but still leave you with a silhouette perfect for draping.

And finally, you know what? I have nothing against plastic surgery. If you want your OG boobs back, you can afford them, and you're willing to take the risks elective surgery presents, by all means.

Take-away: freeboobing takes planning and thoughtfulness, unless you're Kate Moss.

Cute and warm shoes for winter: do they exist? I can't for the life of me figure out what kind of shoes people wear in the colder months other than boots. I mean, boots are great, but I have a lot of wide-leg trousers that I wear to work. I feel like I can't wear flats or heels in the office unless I trudge to work in fur-lined boots and change out of them when I arrive. Am I overlooking some huge shoe-genre? Am I just scarred by visions of clogs and chunky-soled beasts? What are some cute and warm footwear options for winter?

You ARE overlooking a huge shoe genre, and you're right to do so. Sorry Merrell lovers (a.k.a "Mom"), but heavy-soled waterproof clogs are not a compromise in the interest of fashion.

You already have your answer, my dear, and that is to wear your comfy, cozy, sturdy winter boots to work and change once you get there. That is the price you pay for living in a seasonal climate, in addition to the price of having to suffer through snow and cold. (Very pricey!) It's only for a few months, though, right? Carry a bigger handbag that you can cram a pair of shoes into until spring arrives. Do you have a desk? Desks are for hiding shoes under, mostly. Shoes and space heaters.

For fashionable versions of boots, though, allow yourself one pair of sexy but warm ones like these for when you want to look like a snow bunny. Or, if you can scrape $300 together, get a pair of Muk Luks, the boots UGGs aspire to be.

I've never liked cutesy, snug sleepwear. My standard sleep outfit is loose PJ pants and a big t-shirt. If I'm feeling wild, I'll ditch the pants. That's what makes me comfortable (it's for sleeping, after all! shouldn't I be comfortable?!), and that's what I take with me when I stay over with my boyfriend. Cue his silent but palpable disappointment with the fact that I dress for romantic sleepovers the exact same way I would have dressed for a middle school sleepover.

Of course I've thought about trying out some sexy-ish sleepwear, but the few items I've bought, I found clingy and impossible to actually SLEEP in after the fun events prompted by the sexy outfit have commenced and it's time to go to bed for real. I have a swingy little nightgown that rides up to my chest/neck in the night, leaving me strangled and otherwise naked. Many things with spaghetti straps get pulled and twisted and cut into my shoulders. And I really dislike any snug fabric around my tummy in general... that's why I wear big t-shirts instead of cute little fitted tanks.

Do you have any ideas for some girly nighttime items that I can actually sleep in?

I do have some ideas, but first: it sounds like you hate everything! Stop doing that. How many times have you tried sleeping either naked or with one of these terrible, murderous sexy chemises on? Just like getting used to, say, living with a mild snorer, these things are usually only bothersome at first. If you try it enough times, I bet you'll be able to fall asleep without thinking about what is or isn't riding up where in a few weeks. I'm not advocating making yourself terribly uncomfortable or actually losing sleep, more what I'm saying is instead of listing in your head all the stuff you hate and won't do, think of yourself as a flexible, ever-changing, open-to-new-ways-of-doing-things kind of person. This will be good practice for when you have to change something actually significant about yourself, which, if you're in a committed, long-term relationship, is inevitable. (STOP EATING A MEAL AT 4 P.M. BECAUSE IT SCREWS UP MY DINNER PLANS WITH YOU EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.) Remember not liking sauerkraut? That's what I mean. Now you LOVE sauerkraut and it totally gets you laid and snuggles you and makes your boobs extra fun to check out while you brush your teeth in the morning and you can hardly remember what life was like before awesome sauerkraut, right?

If you'd rather just have an answer to your question, get ready to spend a little money. I know investing in sleepwear is a toughy because hardly anyone sees it and you're not awake to really enjoy it, but I find that the arbitrary price cap a lot of us put on spending in this area is a mistake. If you were to look at it another way, that you spend almost the same amount of time in these items as you do in your jeans, and that having a few sets on hand is a good idea since you also sweat in them and stuff, you may start to see the value in having a decent sleepwear wardrobe. Decide to invest a little and try to build a collection that's a mix of high-end beautiful pieces and wearable but not disgusting ones.

Anthropologie has a whole department of adorablesexy, and wearable bedtime items. Victoria's Secret, believe it or not, has many affordable versions of what you're looking for: something loose and cute that's not a Mickey Mouse t-shirt and smiley face boxers. And if you start saving now, maybe you can have the world's swankiest, comfiest PJ's by retirement?

I am having a crisis of confidence regarding heels. I love shoes, and heels especially, but outside of very special events I can't convince myself to wear them. I feel like I look like I'm playing dress-up. (I am 20 and a college student, so ostensibly I should be able to pull them off by now, right?) It's not like I'm trying to wear any insane sparkly stilettos to class or anything, just maybe some appropriate suede booties, but whenever I try to leave my apartment I suddenly feel absolutely ridiculous and replace the shoes with like my duck boots so I can camouflage myself. It's not like a ton of people wear them on my sort of remote campus but it isn't WEIRD right? How do I convince myself wearing heels doesn't make me look like an idiot? Also, part two of this question is how do I walk in heels without looking like an idiot?

I'm having a crisis of confidence regarding what to tell you. On the one hand, it sounds like you really want to wear heels all the time, and I LOVE heels all the time, and you should definitely be doing that if you want to. It's pretty much the best, and no, heels aren't "weird."

On the other hand, then you went and told me you were an undergraduate student who isn't quite sure how to walk in heels, and, get ready to hate me, but I'm gonna have to be the one to say it: there are few things more laughable and infuriating than watching a 20-year-old hobble around a college campus in shoes she doesn't know how to walk in. Now are you ready for my mind-blowing advice?

BUY ALL THE HEELS AND GET ALL THE PRACTICE YOU CAN WHILE NO ONE CARES. Literally, you are in the one place on Earth where you are completely protected from most of your own image-finding mistakes. No one will shove you in a locker like they might in high school because there are no lockers and no one will put your photo on a blog and make fun of you like they will once you start going to the clubs when you're 21. Practice every day. I promise you will look fine, and more importantly, feel comfortable in short order. Here's my little "how to walk in heels" tutorial. Just think ... in a matter of months you will be a fierce, high-strutting 21-year-old pump-wearing force to be reckoned with, and you'll no longer care what anyone thinks about what's on your feet because you will literally be above that. Like 4 1/2" above that.

Orrr, never ever ever wear heels ever. I'm still going to, though.

Previously: Sex Hair, Fur, and the Perfect T-Shirt.

Do you have a question for Jane?



334 Comments / Post A Comment

emilylou

Wait, just wondering, why don't you have sleepovers with your boyf where you wear the sexy lingerie or whatever, then after you get it on, you just sleep naked? This is the thing that most people (= me) do, right?

realtalk

@emilylouise yes. definitely.

thebestjasmine

@emilylouise Yes, I don't understand why sleeping naked isn't the answer. I do adore cute pjs, though, for the lounging part of the day.

ormaisonogrande

Am I the only one here who gets cold at night? I can understand the naked thing in the summer, but in the winter I seriously go to bed with flannel pajamas, a t-shirt under the top shirt part, and kneehigh socks. And on the nights I go to bed before my boyfriend, it still takes like 45 minutes before the bed is warmed up enough that I can get to sleep. If I went to bed naked any month between September-June I would spend the night shivering and not sleep at all.

@thebestjasmine

Here is my PJ story:
I am the little spoon, always. I also prefer to sleep and snuggle at the same time in the spooning fashion. It's snuggly goodness. However... I really hate having someone's pubes on my butt. Oh god itchy nightmare of OHMYSWEETHOLYCRACKERJACKS GET IT OFF OF ME!

So I sleep in jammies so that I don't wake up in the middle of the night being squicked out by someone's body hair.

Overshare?

realtalk

@S. Elizabeth oh samesies. I wear undies to sleep, but nothing on top.

joie

@S. Elizabeth you...are not alone. I always put on underwear at least so I get the naked sleeping feeling (hands on my boobs! the best!) but without the pubey hairiness.

ghechr

@emilylouise The best things ever for the cold-sleep-averse is an electric mattress pad. Instead of an electric blanket that makes you all paranoid that it's going to fold in on itself while you're sleeping and melt, the heated mattress pad is like a fitted sheet that goes under your real fitted sheet and it stays flat. My husband got us one a few years ago and it's CHANGED OUR LIVES. Places like Target and Bed Bath and Beyond carry them.

This was supposed to be in response to ormaisonogrande.

OxfordComma

@S. Elizabeth : I just about spit up on my monitor when I read that, lady. :D

thebestjasmine

@ormaisonogrande I totally get cold, but I always prefer lots of covers. Because if I sleep with too many clothes on, then I get hot hot hot in the middle of the night and it is much easier to throw off covers while asleep than peel off clothes. And ugh, the thought of sleeping in socks, so suffocating!

Also, desperately need an electric mattress pad, especially since my electric blanket (bff) died recently.

@realtalk I'm so glad I'm not alone. #sisterhood #pubes

thebestjasmine

@S. Elizabeth (this is why I'm just anti-pube, but that's a conversation for another thread)

PistolPackinMama

@emilylouise I became a person who prefers to sleep sans anything when the heater in my dorm broke in college. And the heat was stuck ON at 83+ degrees in the coldest winter in god knows how long. And I had a room to myself. Oh lord. So uncomfortable. I am a polar bear at the best of times. Pantslessness was the way forward, and has been ever since.

gobblegirl

@emilylouise I don't get cold if I sleep au naturel, I get sweaty, especially if there's someone next to me. The most recent regular bedguest would have much rather I forgo jams, like he did (and was probably unimpressed by my boxers-and-old-tshirt combo, though wise enough not to say anything), but nope. I would wake up in the middle of the night and feel like I had to peel us apart; super gross.

Kneetoe

@all:

Pictures/videos or it doesn't' happen.

raised amongst catalogs

@thebestjasmine I can fall asleep in socks but always ALWAYS wake up the next day with one of them on the floor and one buried waaaay down at the bottom of the bed. Who are the with-sock-sleepers, I want to know.

Hellcat

@vanillawaif My BF can fall asleep in clothes (which he does only rarely anyway) but he never wakes up with them and has absolutely no recollection of taking them off. And he does it fast too! If we ever take an overnight flight anywhere, it could be interesting.

realtalk

@thebestjasmine (but the itchiness when they're growing back in because of my inevitable laziness i cannot STAND IT)

sandwiches

@vanillawaif Yes! My feet get freezing at night (I am a pj & sock sleeper when I'm by myself and a naked-but-for-socks sleeper when my swain stays over) - but almost always wake up with one sock half-off and one sock tucked in the weird pocket the flat sheet and comforter make with the mattress. So odd.

Hellcat

@sandwiches I try to sleep with socks so I can lube up my feet with lotion but I can't make it through the night. In fact, that is the only reason I am wearing socks now and I want them off but I don't want slippery, smeary footprints on the floor! And I don't want to fall down.

Cavendish

@emilylouise You need an electric blanket! I get too warm to leave it on while I sleep, so I just put it on high before I start washing my face and everything. By the time I'm ready to get it bed it is so nice and warm and cozy! Especially with flannel sheets.

Megasus

@emilylouise Yeah that's usually what I did. Also I have never felt weird about pubes before but now I probably will FOREVER.

WastedPaper

@vanillawaif yesss I always wear socks to bed - even in the summer (crazy!) but I think it's because I hate my feet/hardly ever get a pedi. The thought of someone accidentally brushing against my naked feet is just ughhhhh.

And yes, I do the missing sock hunt most mornings, too.

Sassafrass

@Cavendish Yes! Electric blankets FTW!

EpWs

@vanillawaif Yes! I always manage to either tangle myself up or disrobe myself during the course of the night. I always end up REALLY warm in the morning if I sleep in anything more than undies and maybe socks. And the socks usually come off anyway.

hulia

@gobblegirl Me too! So sweaty when I doff the PJs. I have convinced myself that it happens when it's too cold for me to have appendages hanging out of the sheets unclothed, so then I make a cocoon under the duvet, which over the course of the night becomes a sauna. The worst is how sweaty the sheets get. Yick.

puppies

@sandwiches Have you tried knee socks?

raised amongst catalogs

@Cavendish You speak so much truth. My deal is that I turn mine up to 6 or 7 about twenty minutes before bedtime; then I dial it back to 3 while I am falling asleep/reading. Sometime in the middle of the night, I will turn it off completely. Electric blanket, how did I live without you?

@vanillawaif I'm weird and have a thing about a. never sleeping uncovered, even in the middle of summer, because I will freeze. It can be 95 and humid, and I'll still want at least a heavy cotton sheet, or else I start to shiver.

Normally, I want a whole lot of weight in blankets. I have a fluffy duvet, but use it with this super heavy gray quilt I got from IKEA a few years ago which, seriously, is about 10'x10' and needs to be folded in half to be at all useful on my bed.

If I go to sleep with socks on, they end up at the end of the bed or on the floor. In college when I did laundry, sometimes I'd find all of my socks (ALL of them) at the foot of my bed under the sheets. Ew?

atipofthehat

@vanillawaif

How do you keep all the cats in the neighborhood from mobbing your bed?

raised amongst catalogs

@S. Elizabeth Not weird. I'm a side-sleeper and the ear that isn't touching the pillow MUST be covered by a sheet at all times, or else something will get me. You'll never hear me judge someone's sleep weirdness.

fabel

@emilylouise ya, I definitely sleep naked even if I start out with cute lingerie/nightie/whatever. Which isn't that often. So, naked. All the time. Even in winter, I just pile on the blankets and sometimes (fire hazard) put a space heater under it with me.

The thought of wearing socks to bed horrifies me. OHMYGOD

gtrachel

@gobblegirl I agree. Skin-on-skin while sleeping = inevitable sweat-fest. It's like waking up on a vinyl bench seat. Gross.

OxfordComma

@vanillawaif: I DO THIS TOO!!!

fondue with cheddar

@sandwiches My feet get cold at night also, but I can't sleep in socks. My solution: I tuck the cold foot behind the knee of the opposite leg (pulse point!) until it warms up, then alternate. If I'm awake.

raised amongst catalogs

@OxfordComma I don't want to find out what will happen if I ever stop!!!

OxfordComma

@vanillawaif : Right?!?

raised amongst catalogs

@jen325 Yes, this! See also: putting your feet inside of the pillowcase that is on the pillow you use between your knees because you are an old lady who needs old people pillow arrangements.

Hella

@vanillawaif I know what will happen (a cockroach will climb into your ear and get stuck, causing you to have nightmares forever and give up sleeping on your back for the next 15 years). Never stop!!

raised amongst catalogs

@Hella One million sad emoticons.

slutberry

@vanillawaif I need to have my ankles covered, always. Otherwise someone might cut my Achilles tendons as I sleep.

Hellcat

@teffodee Like in Pet Sematary? Though he was not even in bed!

Liina

@vanillawaif Always sleep with socks, often but not always remove them in the night. My feet are cold ALL THE TIME, unless I'm actively walking/running/hiking.

lue
lue

@vanillawaif I'm the same way about my feet! I don't care if it's sweltering, my feet must be covered by a blanket because I can't get over how vulnerable I feel with them sticking out. Chills up my spine when I wake up with them poking out of the sheets.

Feminist Killjoy

@Cavendish yes, why do people not know about these? i love mine. it's like sleeping in a bubble bath.

Hellcat

Oh, I'm so opposite with the sleepwear thing! Anything too loose and floaty just twists around and makes me crazy in that way where, once you notice the annoying thing, you just can't stop noticing it and have to rectify it right away, no matter what time it is (when I was little, I hated nightgowns for this very reason). But anyway--and maybe this fits into the freeboobing topic too--those cheap tank tops with that built-in bra thing are my standard sleeping/lounging attire. They're stretchy but not TIGHT-tight and they seem to stay put. And when they get wrecked (because they will), they're cheap enough to trash and get some more; they're everywhere.

@emilylouise What you said! My sleep-clothes are only for when I am by myself (I sleep naked when the BF is here, whether or not the getting it on occurs) because, for some reason, I feel weird sleeping naked when I'm home alone. Why, I have no idea.

emilylou

@Hellcat Yeah, samesies! Too big/baggy is so uncomfortable. When not reveling in my nudity (even alone! girl, you should try it!) my standard sleep uniform is panties and a lightweight little tanktop.

Actually, in full disclosure, last night I slept in a sheer Ke$ha t-shirt instead of tanktop, but let's keep that questionable fashion choice - why am I an adult who owns Ke$ha-branded merchandise?! noooo - a secret.

Hellcat

@emilylouise Ahahahhahaaaa! You go on with your Ke$ha shirted self! The other night, I was so cold that I broke my own rule and busted out a--oh, good lord, here goes--long-sleeved, oversized Puff Daddy & the Family "No Way Out" tour shirt.

Jinxie

@Hellcat I'M THAT WAY TOO and thank god you mentioned it because all this time I thought I was a weirdo. If I'm sleeping on my own I'm in a t-shirt or tank top and knickers (i.e., underpants for all of you who weren't raised by my mother) but when I'm with the Manfriend I go nekkid or just knickers (I prefer the latter option as there's something to be said for having an article of clothing to remove the next morning if you get my drift wink wink nudge nudge). I feel completely comfortable sleeping nekkid or nearly-nekkid with a (romantic/sexual) bedmate but oddly uncomfortable when it's just me. I think part of that is when I've got company, my housemates are far less likely to do the "knock on my door only as a courtesy since they're already opening the door to come in" move of which they're so fond.

Hellcat

@Jinxie I live by myself and one would think that would make it more OK in theory. But I think, like, what if the fire alarm goes off or, for some stupid reason, I have to leave. I mean, nothing like this has happened... and, even if it did, I am ashamed to say that, at any given time, there are enough clothes strewn about the immediate vicinity to create some kind of on-the-fly escape outfit.

emilylou

@Hellcat YEEEAAAUUH! That's way more legit than my K$ apparel. (But while we're on the topic, I also own a Jason DeRulo shirt AND an Usher shirt I made myself, I really don't have time to explain the origins of either buuuut they happened, and they're in my dresser.)

Hellcat

@emilylouise I totally bought the pre-"Diddy" shirt on the street for $10! And, by putting both "YEEEAAAUUH" and Usher in one post, you've made me start going "boop boop, BOOP BOOP" in my head and want to dance.

dj pomegranate

@Hellcat SAME. Sleeping naked alone is weirdiweird. idk why?

Hellcat

@dj pomegranate Do you watch a lot of true crime shows? I do. Maybe that has something to do with it!

dj pomegranate

@Hellcat No, but I do watch a lot of sci fi and, not gonna lie, I have definitely considered the embarrassment of waking up to invading aliens/zombies and finding myself naked AND alone. If I'm naked w boyfriend, it's ok because he has weapons.

Hellcat

@dj pomegranate And now I'm wondering if it would be more or less embarrassing to be found by aliens and/or mutilated while naked vs. wearing the previously mentioned Puff Daddy (or Poison, or Neil Diamond) t-shirt...

OneTooManySpoons

@Hellcat I used to sleep naked, or semi-naked, until I moved to Japan 5 years ago and was scared of middle-of-the-night earthquakes. My boyfriend always made fun of me... until we started having earthquakes every damn 5 seconds and everyone was sleeping with a freaking survival bag at the ready. Then he was like, "maybe you're on to something."

But actually, his point was more along the lines of "if there's a fire/earthquake, then I'm out of here without worrying about my nakedness." But how could you not worry?!? And what if it's 2 am in January?

Alibi Jones

@OneTooManySpoons Yes! Middle-of-the-night earthquakes is the #1 reason for pajamas!

EpWs

@Hellcat I can't do the baggy sleepwear thing BUT due to my freezing cold apartment this winter, I have discovered the answer--THERMAL LEGGINGS. You know, the waffle knit things with the cuffs at the ankles? I got two pairs for like $12 each at aerie on sale and while they do lose their stretch pretty quick, they stay where they're supposed to (ie: my ankles, not up around my thighs) and keep me toasty warm and I will be wearing them under my jeans to school once this winter finally gets cold.

AngelinaBallerina

@OneTooManySpoons This is exactly why I must wear clothes to bed. Be it earthquake, fire, or other middle of the night calamity, I will not be caught cold and naked. And what if we were the victims of a late night robbery? I cannot fight for my life NAKED.

Hellcat

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I love, love, LOVE when you can find stuff like this for so cheap! My sister just gave me some off-white, cable-knit leggings of a sweatery fabric (honestly, I don't know why she bought these -- I can't imagine wearing them as regular clothes) that are too small for her. They seem pretty good for loungy times (until, of course, I try to drink anything and ruin the whiteness... oh, I suck so bad).

Megoon

@Hellcat Yeah, I don't get the giant t-shirt thing either. They just ride up! I like boys XL undershirts and a pair of mens boxer-briefs (not boxers - those ride up) - cute but still super comfy.

LW2 re: winter shoes - I have Ugg Lynneas and wear them 4 out of 5 days to work in the winter. Comfortable, warm, durable, relatively stylish, and they make me tall but not hobbly. They're clogs though, so not for those who need a bendable sole.

The Bitchuation

@OneTooManySpoons OMG I live in LA and after the Northridge quake I saw this girl on tv getting pulled out of her crushed apartment by like 6 firefighters and she was totally naked, and I was like "well that's that, I'm never sleeping naked again, you're not gonna see me being pulled out of rubble, naked, on the local news", and that was 18 yrs ago and I am still pretty serious about always having at least a tank top on. also, shoes next to the bed.

Equestrienne

Braless, yes. Ali MacGraw forever. There are just some garments out there that are not meant to be worn with bras.

Bittersweet

@Equestrienne: As someone who is barely a B-cup and who thus should be able to go braless in anything, I have only two reasons for Just Saying No: GIANT POST-NURSING NIPS and CHAFING.

Slapfight

@Equestrienne When I was thinner and had the teeniest boobs ever I went braless, figuring no one would even notice. Then one day a convention (N.E. Grows, y'all!) one of my drunken customers told me the first time he saw me he thought "Girl with no bra! I need plants from the greenhouse!" So it was a great selling practice, but I immediately went out and bought a bra due to the creep factor. Now it all depends on the outfit. As Jane said, the small ladies need something. ;)

catfoodandhairnets

@Slapfight Are you Charlie Dimmock?

Slapfight

@catfoodandhairnets HA! I wish.

miwome

@Bittersweet So, if I decide I need/want to go braless while actually leaving the house in something cuteg (as opposed to being a lazily freeboobing 23-year-old, HOW DID JANE SEE ME), I sort of fashion pasties out of either bandaids or, um, masking tape. I know it's kind of weird! But it works really well and is pretty comfortable.

noodge

@miwome samesies. i've used the silicon nip covers, but i'm always worried that one is going to fall off and tumble onto the floor/table/wherever, much to everyone's curious delight (what IS this THING?!? titter, giggle). And my nips have just become incorrigible in the last couple of years - down girls! down! so going without some sort of cover feels really skeevy to me.

miwome

@teenie I heard that "what IS this THING" in Maggie Smith's voice and it was great.

miwome

@miwome "cuteg"?

SuperGogo

LW#3: You get up post-sexytimes pre-actual sleep to pee, brush your teeth, etc. right?? This is your ideal time to also switch from nakedness/negligee/whatever into cozy sleep tee and shorts.

I just love pajamas and because only the Winter BF ever sees me in them, it's also my chance to indulge in clothing adorned with bunnies in tribute to my two adorable pet rabbits. (Wearing bunny-strewn clothing out in the world makes me the Crazy Bunny Lady, obvs.) Luckily, Jenni by Jennifer Moore is a pajama line as Macy's that has many, many bunny-adorned items for me.

Judith Slutler

@SuperGogo Uh yeah, this is what the boyfriend and I do. Negligees = costumes. Gigantic cotton men's button downs I bought at Goodwill = my actual sleepwear.

ps: I feel like the rumpled button down can be kind of casually disheveled-sexy though? All I know is that I've had to sew some buttons back onto 'em...

4and20blkbirds

@SuperGogo I am definitely going to check out the bunny pjs. I'm rabbitless at the moment but they are the cutest ever.

oboe-d-amore

@SuperGogo Yes! This is what I do. That sexy stuff is not *actually* meant to be slept in. And I firmly feel that you should get to wear pretty much whatever you want during actual sleeping time.

pkle

Free boobs always! Burn all bras!

BadWolf

@pkle I will get the matches! I have zero boobs (Invisiboobs!), and thus the only bra I own is a stupid American Apparel thing made of elastic, which, in an emergency, could double as a scrunchie. FreeBoobing is my reward for years of insecurity and certainty that no one would ever think me hot and padded bras that made me look like an upright piano. Fuck that noise with an underwire.

Blousey Brown

@BadWolf <3 u, Scrunchie bra!

pkle

@BadWolf @Blousey Brown <3 u, tiny boobs!

<3 u, overcoming insecurities!!!

(and apparently right now, <3 u exclamation points!)

BadWolf

@pkle @Blousey Brown <3 <3 !!!

Slapfight

@BadWolf Small bewb lovin'! The worst thing about small cup bras is that they assume you want padding that can take a bullet. Sorry. No thanks on the freaky-lumpy false advertising. My breasts are just fine, thanks.

Crow T. Robot

@Slapfight THIS.

BadWolf

@Slapfight Dude, I would TOTALLY be down for padding that could take an actual bullet. Because, seriously, how cool would that be? We could call it the Wonder(Woman)Bra, and fight crime! Now I am even more pissed off about the useless/awkward real-life padding.

Slapfight

@BadWolf Ooohhh...If Underoos would get on this...

travelmugs

Re: warm shoes. You're overlooking another shoe category-- loafers! I've been accused of putting too much granny in the attempted "granny chic" thing, but really loafers are the semi-dressy, warm-but-not-boots answer.

I've been wearing these every day this week: http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=21321864&color=004&itemdescription=true&navAction=jump&search=true&isProduct=true&parentid=SALE_W_SHOES

bitzyboozer

"How many times have you tried sleeping ... with one of these terrible, murderous sexy chemises on?"

A million billion trillion times forever, and it's never become more tolerable. Some of us are just Fussy Sleepers.

As for why not with the just taking it off and sleeping naked, I dunno, because that's totally what I do. Maybe there are hangups involved?

Jinxie

@bitzyboozer Sometimes my housemate's cats want to snuggle with me in bed and I let them because they're (usually) adorable and sleeping naked would get in the way of that because a) it feels weird to have them cuddling me when I'm naked and b) one of them likes to curl up on my chest and kitty claws + bare skin = OW.

redheaded&crazy

@bitzyboozer yeah I don't like to sleep naked either. and no hangups involved I don't think! I just prefer to be wearing something AT LEAST on my bottom.

that being said, if I'm in sexytimes mood or it's summer or whatever, my usual bottoms are as little as possible - underwear or short shorts. those are sexy! and a loose shirt with underwear/short shorts underneath is sexy too (IMO).

bitzyboozer

@Jinxie Ah yes, kitties are a valid answer to this question. Mine stay on top of the covers so I hadn't really thought of that.

OxfordComma

@bitzyboozer : Seriously, Vicky's Secret has cuteycute pj's, I pinky-swear, and I'm also a Fussy Sleeper--they're comfy, too!

I'm also a fan of a soft, loose tank in a pretty color with coordinating shorts from Target.

dj pomegranate

@redheadedandcrazy Love short shorts for post-sexytimes loungeytimes.

Sassafrass

@bitzyboozer Thank you! Fussy Sleeper here. Sleeping naked is my least favorite way to sleep; and I think sleep is WAY too important to be messing around with. I'm all for fun lingerie for fun times, but when it's time to sleep I will most definitely be in something that covers my shoulders. Weird thing to be fussy about, I know, but I can't stand to wear a tank top or nightie with exposed shoulders. They get cold. In any event, I also just wanted to say that what you sleep in should never be determined by what someone else wants. Sleep in whatever makes you most comfortable whether it's pjs or sans. I find that a semi fitted but comfy t-shirt like those little pocket Ts from Target make a great option. Lots of colors to pair with cute short-shorts from other places.

two-cute

@bitzyboozer idk about anyone else, but whenever i sleep naked, i have nightmares about, like, going grocery shopping naked. that's probably just me, though.

machinesss

@shhhhk Hahaha I was actually scanning this thread to see if anyone else has this issue. Good to know I'm not alone on the naked nightmares front.

Guinevere'sGhost

@bitzyboozer I have tried to sleep naked, but I really don't like the feeling of my bare legs/arms/stomach touching each other, it always feels like my skin is sticking together. I'm an extremely fussy sleeper though, for instance I absolutely cannot fall asleep if there are any wrinkles in the bottom sheet, which my husband finds hilarious.

fabel

@Jinxie I've gotten clawed so many times picking up my cat while not wearing a top. I never learn.

KeLynn

@shhhhk When I sleep naked, I'm terrified that I'm going to pee the bed. It makes no sense. I can wear just underwear, or I can wear PJ bottoms with no underwear, but if it's just bare ass (or bare ass under a nightgown) I think I'm going to lose control of my bladder somehow. No idea.

TheDragon

@KeLynn YES! Me too! I am always TERRIFIED of this! I am so glad I'm not alone

KeLynn

@The Kendragon YES!! I cannot figure out what it is but I'm glad someone else deals with this!

LaLoba

I have a pair of real classy cowboy boots as professional yet warm and waterproof winter footwear; though I think that's only allowed in certain states.

spoondisaster

@LaLoba Mostly ones below the Mason-Dixon line! As a Lady Raised in Texas, I fully approve of boots for work.

Hot Doom

@LaLoba Yes! I have a sweet pair of rose and brown coloured ones that are comfy and have a wee heel, and with the right set of wide leg trousers they look hoss AND boss, and totally appropriate for work.

christonacracker

I used to sleep nakie but lately I just find 7a.m. pubes too depressing to wake up to -- maybe it's the winter morning light, i dunno, but I just get this UGH PASTY WHITE THIGHS AND PUBES thing I just cannot deal with so now I have to figure out what kind of jammies I have to wear to deal with my totally stupid issue.

this is a really pointless comment.

Hellcat

@christonacracker No it's not because "nakie" -- ahahahhahaaaaaa! "NAKIE"!

Bittersweet

@Hellcat: Seconded. "Nakie" is ALWAYS awesome.

Jinxie

Jane, do you seriously want us to spend $78 on the Anthropologie equivalent of a hairshirt? Unlined lace on my bare bewbs = Itch City. I mean, it's totally cute and I would wear it over a camisole (and under a cute cardigan) out of the house but I'd be hard pressed to think of less comfortable sleepwear.

OxfordComma

@Jinxie : Oh, but a lot of their stuff is so soft and comfy! And I never buy Anthro full price--I always go for their sales.

thebestjasmine

@OxfordComma Yes, always for the Anthro sales, their normal prices are a little scary, but you can get great stuff in their sale racks.

nevernude cutoffs

@thebestjasmine To reply to all, hell yes on Anthro sales. I have one adorable and super soft slip/chemise thingy I got on sale right after Christmas last year (for around 20ish doll hairs). It's cute for visitors but I mainly wear it to lounge around my room and read The Hairpin because it makes me feel like a fancy lady.

chevyvan

@Jinxie I'm not averse to dropping a liiiittle extra dough at Anthropologie for something super cute, but I recently went on a search for cute/sexy/nonridiculous sleepwear and Anthro really disappointed.

I had really good luck at The Gap. I found a nice little romper (I KNOW) that looked good on my huge boobs and long torso. It was pretty amazing. They had lots of other good stuff too, and less expensive than Anthro.

thebestjasmine

@chevyvan I found good stuff at Old Navy! My #1 favorite thing to sleep in is a sleeveless nightie, and they had a great one on sale there.

Nutellaface

@chevyvan FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HOW DO YOU GO PIDDLES IN A ROMPER. No one can explain this to me.

nevernude cutoffs

@Nutellaface Let's face facts. You will pee with your boobs out. It's just the way it is.

17th Floor

@Nutellaface - If you REALLY love rompers, you can Holy Grail quest and find some with a boxer-shorts type opening for piddles. I have one like this! But,...I still take it all the way off, boobs out, to pee, cause I'm afraid of crooked streams and SPLASHING.

spoondisaster

I have perky large boobs (like 34D/32E [I didn't even know E was a thing until recently!]) and um it is pretty terrifying to wear things without a bra. Won't it make people (dudes) stare at my boobs more than they already do?

punkahontas

@spoondisaster Yes, they would. I only have B's and I don't free boob anymore because I don't want to give a free show! My boobs are generally in the same place they've always been, but I think my brain is in a different one.

spoondisaster

@punkahontas Mine are fantastic (I mean, all boobs are fantastic, but mine are big and not saggy which is maybe kinda a little rare?) but I am just so so self conscious about people noticing them.

Kneetoe

@spoondisaster:

Oh no, trust me, I'm a guy and I can ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEE YOU that we will not notice, much less stare. What do you think we are, animals!

punkahontas

@spoondisaster Well, they're going to get noticed, you can't change that part. You just have to decide if you're okay with that or not. If you're self-conscious, maybe not. Or see if you can get used to it. Maybe start out with a sweater or something? Like Jane said!

Also: Yes, animals. Definitely.

likethestore

@spoondisaster Yes. Anyone who suggests not wearing a bra is not in possession of giant boobs.

spoondisaster

@punkahontas Okay, the only scene from the second Sex and the City movie I've seen is the one where one lady is freaking out about her nanny free-boobing it. That's my concern! But I should own it, I guess. Why do I have fantastic boobs if not to revel in their beauty? Or something.

And no, @Kneetoe, not all dudes are animals but some of you are! It only takes a few comments to make a lady insecure.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@spoondisaster: Well, SitC is sort of a hyperbole of a certain strata of socialite, in that their outrageous behavior is part of the humor (and humanizing, too.) So, that 'reaction' is something that is sort of unreal.

Of the reasons to not free-boob, for you, that should not be one of them; I really do not think you will be judged, and anyone who would really has some internal problems relating to self that they need to work through. Personally, whether big or small, I think that floaty look with the loose tops is very chic. You should try it out.

thebestjasmine

@Kneetoe This is a pretty damn creepy comment, congratulations.

spoondisaster

@Too Much Internet Thank you, you are very kind and it is actually really helpful you hear that. +5 Hairpin points to you.
(wouldn't it be awesome if there was a "Hairpin points" system for commenting on the 'Pin and if you said really awesome/nice things you earned points and could redeem them for cool things like champagne or magic erasers?)

dividingday

@spoondisaster As a similarly sized person, I can tell you that they will probably hurt after about an hour. Whenever I've tried to go out wearing just one of those spaghetti-strap tops with a shelf, but no bra, it becomes kind of agonizing after a while. And also, those things swing around a lot. If you were going to be relatively stationary, you could give it a shot, but if you'll be walking around much...Well, they're called 'knockers' for a reason. And mine are not even saggy yet! I personally don't like the way it feels. If you want to show off your assets, get a great bra and lots of tight sweaters with deep V-necks!

spoondisaster

@dividingday Tank tops with shelves are okay but the thing I hate about not wearing a bra is when there is some skin overlap (not a lot, but enough to bother me) when the under bit of my boob makes contact with chest skin and it just... feels weird. Bras are great and since I only own nice, expensive ones (cheap bras + big boobs = no good) it's not really a problem to wear a bra a lot of the time. Thank goodness!

chickaboom

@spoondisaster Every time I've thought about freeboobing (I'm similarly sized -- this much cleave is a new reality that I had a hard time accepting for awhile) I've thought more about the WOMEN I know that would judge me than the dudes. And guess what! I was right. I don't freeboob anymore :(

spoondisaster

@chickaboom Women are judgy about freeboobing? Really? That's horrible! Ladies should support each other when we choose not to wear bras! Pun totally intended.

dotcommie

@spoondisaster I guess I don't see the benefit of freeboobing? Why do people want to do it? Bras offer much needed support, and wouldn't your nipples be uncomfortably prominent whilst freeboobing?

Rosebudddd

@Kneetoe Nice try, old man.

spoondisaster

@dotcommie Yeah, those are all concerns that we share. tig ol' bitties require support, even if they are perky.

thebestjasmine

@dotcommie Yeah, I find bralessness totally uncomfortable! If it's comfy for you, then go for it, but I seriously can't imagine not wearing a bra to do anything.

rayray

Get to boyfriend's place. Undress. Do It. Put knickers back on, possibly with a t-shirt (mine or his, not fussed). Sleep. I don't even pack pjs, it saves on space.

rayray

@rayray Also the closest I will ever come to freeboobing (a word I can't stop saying to myself in my head. Freeboobing. Freeeeeeboobing. Freebooooobing) is wearing a tank top with a shelf. Comfort and a slight bit of support, but a more organic shape and you feel a bit daring (I should get out more, possibly).

angelinha

@rayray I might want a Winter BF exclusively so I can wear his t-shirt to bed with my undies. Probably I do not deserve a Winter BF this season.

femme cassidy

@rayray Are you singing it in your head to the tune of Tom Petty's "Free Falling"? "Cause I'm freeeeeeee... free boooooobing"?

Yeah, me neither.

lisma

@femme cassidy I was thinking FREE BOOOOOB, kinda like FREE BIIIIIIIRD.

Judith Slutler

@rayray I do shelf tanks... always? Sometimes padded ones?

Am I missing out on something re: bras? Someone give me an argument for bras. I have tiny not-saggy boobs.

Coal Tar Epoxy

@femme cassidy I'm totally going to be singing this for the rest of the day. It'll make rugby practice more interesting!

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@klibberfish: I think that's totally cute? My winter GF can do that all she wants. Girl wearing my boxers and t = awesome.

Bittersweet

@Emmanuelle Cunt: Shelf tanks are good, but freeboobing in a looser shirt means CHAFING and SADFACE.

redheaded&crazy

@klibberfish seriously i will be your winter BF. I dunno MAYBE (but I doubt it) I'm totally off base but I'm pretty sure dudes universally love for their girls to wear their clothes? at least, if I were a dude I would love it. I'd be like that girl is MINE (not in like a weird possessive way but in a normal possessive way)

...sigh it's just not the same when a dude puts on their girl's clothes. just. not. the same.

redheaded&crazy

@redheadedandcrazy i give this comment an A+ for heteronormativity and um gender binary ...limiting ... ideals ... of dress code.

A+!

thisisunclear

@rayray Thank you! I have never brought my own pj's to a sleepover. I borrow. And then it becomes my special teeshirt. I do bring long underwear bottoms in the winter months, to accessorize.

EpWs

@Emmanuelle Cunt Bras are boob-wranglers. They keep things from jostling about everywhere. They keep nips in check. If your boobs do not jostle, but stay in place agreeably, and your nips are well-behaved, you have no need for bras! Wear if you like, but if not, spend your hard-earned cash elsewhere.

rayray

@thisisunclear One of my exes gave me a Bluth Company tshirt the first time I slept over and it became my sleepytimes t shirt. I'm still a bit livid I couldn't take it with me when we broke up because I was in France and he dumped me over Skype. By this point the tshirt is genuinely the thing I'm maddest about in this story.

rayray

@rayray Also no-one's reading these any more but me and my high school bff used to sing 'Shelf!' to the tune of Shaft when either of us was wearing a shelf tank.

atipofthehat

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher

You make the breasts sound so feisty!

And the bras like those pens that hold back the broncos at the rodeo (until it's time for ACTION).

EpWs

@atipofthehat Well yeah, obviously. (New username opportunity for FEISTY BREASTS.) Also, it's probably just that I have the mind of a twelve-year-old, but I kept trying to turn "pens" into "penis" and it was...almost making sense there?

atipofthehat

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher

You are hereby awarded a Pearl Necklace!

catfoodandhairnets

@femme cassidy Totally.

automaticdoor

@redheadedandcrazy I don't have a problem with dudes wearing my clothing, per se. (Though I am really petite, so good luck with that!) I do have a problem with them stealing my underwear, wearing it, DENYING IT, and then when we break up me finding my favorite undies all stretched out hidden at the back of their underwear drawer. This happened to a ... friend! Yes. A FRIEND. Cough.

Lily Rowan

Wow, I really want those million dollar pjs. And you are talking sense about stepping up the sleepwear game.

femme cassidy

Hold up, what "kinds of fun most of us only dream of" do you think I'm having with my giant, bra-necessitating boobs? It's not like they contain jetpacks, or lactate top-shelf tequila.

redheaded&crazy

@femme cassidy whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. why would you ruin this fantasy of mine?! tequila spurting jetpacks come baaack

thebestjasmine

@femme cassidy BUT IT WOULD BE SO AWESOME IF THEY DID, AM I RIGHT?

PistolPackinMama

@femme cassidy well, all it takes is a modest v-neck to make any outfit VA VA VOOOOOOOOM sex-ba-bomb clothes. There is that. Says she who hasn't gone out of the house without a bra on in 20+ years.

Nanabelle

@femme cassidy God I wish my boobs lactated top-shelf tequila. At least it would help with the constant shoulder pain.

gobblegirl

@PistolPackinMama Flipside: things that would normally be professional and demure are instead off-limits because I don't want to be VA VA VOOOOOOOOM at work. Even a fitted sweater looks like I'm shoving them in your face!
I have small-boob envy.

Lucienne

@femme cassidy Well, you know that scene in Some Like It Hot where she's like ... trotting down the train platform? I will never live out that scene. And sometimes I would like to.

femme cassidy

@Nanabelle Aaaah not to be super preachy but if you are having constant shoulder pain you might be wearing the wrong bra size! Straps should not be digging into your shoulders! (And lady, I'm a J cup, so please don't think this is coming from some Little Miss Perky Tits who has no idea what it's like.)

punkahontas

LW#2 La Canadiennehas boots that are secretly insulated, waterproof, and comfortable. Some are better looking than others, but there are a few that I think would be work-appropriate.

dj pomegranate

@punkahontas I just got winter boots fron Born (with the slash through the o, how do you even type that?) Malpica boots and they are the best thing ever. SO WARM SO WARM so waterproof and warm! Bonus: They look kinda aviator-esque so I feel like Katharine Hepburn, a la this photo: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_nyasbZV4LtI/TIoW_qZvCVI/AAAAAAAAALc/hCYbo3Afb_A/s1600/4431831899_84c54864ab.jpg

planforamiracle

@punkahontas AHHH totally second the La Canadienne recommendation. I have a pair of the Ramona boots in brown. They're knee-high with a small heel; easy to walk in no matter the conditions but they still make me feel dressed up.

Yes, they're pricey, but I bought them in 2010 (which makes this their third winter) and they look as good as the day I bought them. I live in Toronto (slush capital of Canada, I believe) but I care for them extremely well. FAVOURITE BOOTS!

yamtoes

@punkahontas I totally read that as "boobs that are secretly insulated, waterproof, and comfortable". I was like, wow, this La Canadienne lady is lucky!

Bridget Smith@twitter

It's always sort of surprising to me when people can't figure out how to walk in heels: I am, at heart, a jeans-and-sneakers girl, and pretty much wore nothing else until possibly my high school graduation. And yet, from pretty much the first time I put on high heels, I was fine. But then, most people aren't fast striders like I am. Long steps, heel-to-toe movement (like NORMAL WALKING), and excellent posture, and seriously, don't buy heels so high that you can't push yourself up further on your toes. If you are literally tip-toeing in your shoes, your heels are too high AND you're walking in them wrong.

Lucienne

@Bridget Smith@twitter Yes on the "they might be too high" thing. If you have small feet, you probably can't wear crazy high heels, just because there isn't any room for your foot to go up. I mean, I guess you could start doing pointe work but ...

Bridget Smith@twitter

@Lucienne This is one of the payoffs of having giant feet (size 11!): there's more space for me to wear higher heels. But then, since I'm 5'11", I usually don't go above 4" anyway, and no platforms for me, thanks, I seriously don't need to be 6'6".

@Bridget Smith@twitter Also, let's hear it for well made shoes. My favorite pair of pumps are from Talbots and I love them (and yes they are sexy black patent pumps). Cheap, poorly constructed heels are never going to work, and they will never fit well.

You don't need to drop a mint, but seriously, halfway decent heels make a huge difference.

Bridget Smith@twitter

@Bridget Smith@twitter OH, ALSO: Dude, no crisis of confidence re: heels in class required! The closest I ever got to wearing heels to class was my cheap-ass Western-style boots with a, like, 1.5" heel. It's not weird to wear heels to class, but it's also not weird to feel uncomfortable doing it! Don't worry! YOU'RE LIKE ME AND I'M DECLARING THAT NORMAL BECAUSE THE ALTERNATIVE IS SCARY.

MilesofMountains

@Bridget Smith@twitter Funny, that was (still is) my biggest hurdle to walking in heels. I had so much trouble walking in heels until a friend told me I needed to slow down and take smaller steps. I find the soles on heels too stiff to roll my foot the way it does for a proper big stride, and walking fast with small steps just leads to that ridiculous mincey little pony walk.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@MilesofMountains: Thinking about the mechanics involved, this is spot on advice. You don't really heel strike since there is so much less heel; you just take smaller steps and land flat.

I actually get compliments a lot when I walk with girls that are wearing heels, because I slow my stride to match their speed.

Bridget Smith@twitter

@Too Much Internet No, because if you're landing flat in heels then you're actually just walking on your toes, which is painful and tiring and extremely limiting. It's not a dramatic heel-strike, it's just enough to make sure you're still, you know, walking rather than tip-toeing. That's where so many girls have problems: they think it's the only way to be stable, but it makes the wobbliness worse. Walking in heels - for me, at least - is exactly the same as walking in flats, just shrunken a little.

Maybe I'm weird? I still tend to walk faster than most people even when I'm wearing heels, so maybe my advice is terrible for normal people.

EpWs

@Bridget Smith@twitter Do you give lessons? Because, seriously, a short girl with a long-ass stride needs lessons.

@Bridget Smith@twitter YES! If a woman is walking in heels and there's not a sexy little "clickity click" sound on the sidewalk, you know she's doing it wrong.

M. Flourish Klink@twitter

@Bridget Smith YES, exactly! I teach college and whenever I have a student with the wobbly heel walk I think "oh Jesus just pretend you aren't wearing heels and you'll be okay..."

miwome

@Bridget Smith@twitter I 100% cosign everything you have said! but I am also a fast walker, so...?

no way

@Bridget Smith@twitter As another lady with large feet I will now crush your heel walking pride. It's not because you have a better stride, or good posture, or anything like that. You just have more surface area on which to balance, putting less strain on your legs and feet.

I have also never had a problem in heels - I'm 5'5" with unreasonably large size 10 feet. I can't claim good posture or proper walking technique or even good shoes. Ease of heel wearing is my perk for having clown feet.

OxfordComma

@Bridget Smith@twitter : I've always found that leaning back a bit helps--puts your balance in the right place. And also? LET YOUR ASS WIGGLE.

Mira

@Bridget Smith@twitter Yes, this exactly! I had a lot of trouble with heels (I was totally That 19-Year-Old Intern With The Bent-Knee Gait) until I realized heels are exactly like flats. Only they make my back hurt more. Always heel strike, People In Heels!

And also, hips will swing naturally when you're walking correctly in heels. Don't fight that.

Jennifer Moorhead@twitter

@OxfordComma YES, LET YOUR ASS WIGGLE! That is, seriously, the key. Think Joanie. Ok, maybe not that exaggerated, but you've got to let your hips swing a little. I wear stupid high heels all the time to work (I'm a lawyer, I wear boring suits and things, so I go nuts on the shoes) -- and it needn't be an insanely exaggerated va-va-voom swerve, just... loosen it up a little. Sink into it. Your ankles won't break.

@Jennifer Moorhead@twitter Please teach me about appropriate workplace shoes for lawyers. I've been really conservative with my shoe choices (so. dull. and. awful.). Tutorial please? "How to not look like a baby prostitute or my grandma." Hint: I sometimes look like grandma.

All Mimsy

The closest I ever get to not wearing a bra is super fitted bathing suits and tank-tops with a built in bra, but they have to be a really specific fit, or they just don't work.
I wear flannel PJ bottoms or super short shorts for lounging around in.
To actually sleep I have a massive collection of ratty T-shirts(when they get to the point where I will not wear them out the house they turn in to sleep shirts) and panties(I love that word, so fun!).
I actually can't sleep while wearing pants, that's probably weird.

OxfordComma

But...but...what if you have average sized tits (30DD), but they're kinda Salvador Daliesque?

You know, all down with the droopiness?

And maybe you have absurdly large aereolas?
So it's not just headlights but fucking brights?

'Coz...um...yeah.

PistolPackinMama

@OxfordComma solidarity!

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@OxfordComma: 'These are not boobs' (in the spirit of art and your avatar)

TheSkyGirl

@OxfordComma Oh boobies that were once lovely & fantastic Ds and over the course of gaining weight then losing weight then gaining weight then losing weight then gaining weight and FINALLY losing the weight & keeping it off...well, let's just say that the stretch marks I got when I first sprouted boobs now look like wrinkles. And my girls don't necessarily SAG so much as droop. It's a sad situation. I've told my boyfriend (who will eventually be my husband and who is also an officer in the Navy) that when he becomes captain of his own ship, I get to get new boobs. This will be post-having-babies, so then maybe I will do some free-boobing.

dj pomegranate

@OxfordComma Maybe wireless bras? There are so many cute lacey wireless ones for all sizes!

OxfordComma

@dj pomegranate : Those are comfy, but it doesn't solve the "What do I wear with my sexay backless_____" dilemma when one's boobs are...pendulous.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@OxfordComma: I wonder, I have seen tops that have a 'cinched' or hemmed area that creates sort of a 'beltline' just underneath the bust; do these also come in backless variety?

PistolPackinMama

@OxfordComma maybe? But the problem is, the bra would still probably show, if it does the kind of support job you need if you don't go braless. The straps up the side would show, or the back strap would be wider than the waistband on the dress.

OxfordComma

@dj pomegranate : I think I might need a low back longline bra. Support + sucking-inning + no bra strap = Awesome (I hope?)

Anything has to be better than duct tape and chicken cutlets.

OxfordComma

@PistolPackinMama : I am so tempted to stitch fake tits into all of my cute backless tops and dresses.

Guinevere'sGhost

@OxfordComma So much solidarity!

KeLynn

@OxfordComma I think the solution is just not to get backless things. It sucks. But I have just accepted it as a fact of life that I cannot buy backless things because I cannot leave the house without a bra.

Hellcat

Oh, more on the freeboob thing! Men's/boys' tank-top undershirts (a.ka. "wifebeaters," which is just weird to say if you're referring to the child-sized ones)! They're way cheap (which is important to me, a person who can ruin light-colored clothing just by thinking about a cup of coffee or any other non-water-colored beverage), easy to find, and they're long enough to peek out from under another shirt if you like layering. I think I get the second-to-largest kid-boy size.

km1312

@Hellcat YES! I own approximately 7 million of these. Great for sleeping in, too - cute and comfy.

Hellcat

@km1312 And typically (in)significant-other-approved, as they're a bit see-through.

Is it trashy-terrible that I still like these over a black bra with jeans in the warm weather (in appropriate settings, of course -- not, like, my office or a wedding or something)?

WastedPaper

@Hellcat no I think it's awesome! I'm co-signing the wifebeater because when I'm around the bf and I throw one of them on with whatever bottoms (who cares?), then dayum girl, it's onnnnn!

Hellcat

@WastedPaper Just don't answer the door in that get-up when the pizza man shows up. Or do... if your pizza man is worth it, I guess.

Nanabelle

Huge-mongous boobs are not as fun at they seem. Permanent shoulder dents anyone?

chevyvan

@Nanabelle I am a 32F, but no permanent shoulder dents. Maybe you are due for a bra fitting? It will change your life!

two-cute

@Nanabelle i'm a 32DDD, and i don't have any problems with my straps/shoulders. most of a bra's support is supposed to come from the band, so if you're having problems with the straps bearing too much of the weight and cutting into your shoulders, you probably need a smaller band size!

lisma

re: comfortable but "sexy" and also affordable sleepwear, a girl can't go wrong at Nordstrom Rack.

lauraruth

No, but literally, what do human adult women wear with wide leg trousers when it is snowy and cold? I only wear them at work, so I can do the shove-into-ugly-boots and change thing (though it is unpleasant for all my bus crushes) but what do like, classy older ladies who don't wear skinny jeans do on a regular basis?

OxfordComma

@lauraruth : Ankle boots! With a sturdy low wedge, or a low, thick heel.

At least, that's what I would do. :)

But the thing is, if you're walking *through* snow, your pants will get wet if they're not in boots--I would say let the weather and the kind of walking you'll be doing be the difference between mukluks and chic ankle boots.

chevyvan

@lauraruth I just don't wear any wide-legged pants in the winter. It's slim/straight legged pants or skirts and that's it. Otherwise, yeah, you look stupid stuffing that shit into your boots or get the cuff of your pants wet and covered in salt. A skirt with tights/leggings (and leg warmers for super cold days) is a way better option.

redheaded&crazy

@chevyvan I'm the same! My solution to wide legged trousers is to not wear them in snowy weather. Skirts and leggings and leg wa--

hold on a second, ARE YOU ME?!

(because leg warmers and skirts and leggings are SO unique *rolls eyes at self*)

chevyvan

@redheadedandcrazy I am just your parasitic twin. Copying the style that YOU obviously invented and looking only half as good. :-)

@serenityfound

@lauraruth When I lived in Minnesota and in NY, all the awesome adult women I knew did what you're saying: carefully tuck pants into boots. Find a pair of cute/classy "investment" boots that you can wear for several seasons! Also, those little ankle straps for cyclists work really well for helping you neatly gather your pant legs before stuffing them into boots.

MEGA VENUTIAN SPACE SCORPION

Best shoe based decision I ever made was giving up on learning how to walk in heels. I refuse to be in that much pain for the sake of shoes. Seriously, fuck that.

Judith Slutler

@MEGA VENUTIAN SPACE SCORPION This. I have cute brogues and Chelsea boots and Doc Martens and that is enough!

Also, I felt very validated when after breaking my foot, all of the orthopedists' offices had horrifying charts of all the awful things that can happen to your feet by wearing high heels. Like, really really horrifying.

EpWs

@MEGA VENUTIAN SPACE SCORPION I just want to say I love love love your username. That is all.

MEGA VENUTIAN SPACE SCORPION

@Emmanuelle Cunt Thank you for introducing me to the concept of the Chelsea boots, my calves are too awesome to be constrained by tall boots, but I could totally pull those off!

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher The best part is that my comment notification emails now say 'Dear MEGA VENUTIAN SPACE SCORPION,'. It is amazing.

Megoon

@MEGA VENUTIAN SPACE SCORPION I haven't given up on heels entirely, but I DID decide that I would never wear high ones again, and it is so freeing going on fancy dates or to weddings in my low heels and being able to skip home unassisted at the end of the night.

Plus I think you can drink more in regular shoes, as there's no fear of you'll tip over without constant concentration on remaining upright. LW4 - do what you wish, obvs, but IMO, why wear heels in college? Why?! I so wish I could go back to wearing boys undershirts and neon bras with my beyond-scrubby jeans everyday, plus flip-flops always even in the winter, or occasionally even no shoes, because why not it's college. Or, take this time to practice with the heels, I guess you'll want to know how to walk in them later. But if you're planning on an office-based career, embrace the joy of four years without having to look professional.

MEGA VENUTIAN SPACE SCORPION

@Megoon I am not ashamed to admit that one of the deciding factors was not having to change shoes or be barefoot after a night out, hurrah convenient drinking!

KeLynn

@Megoon Interesting...I drink more when I'm wearing high heels because if you get drunk enough, you can't feel your feet anymore!

ranran

Hi, if anyone is still reading these, I think I need help? Sometimes I really want to wear cute backless things without a bra but I am not sure if I'm allowed to BECAUSE:

One time my band was doing a photo shoot for a magazine. It was already basically the Worst Thing Ever -- I was in a burqa, outside, at noon, in summer, in Texas, please compare to my guitarist, who was wearing a minidress and heels -- and then we got to a thing where everybody was wearing a white t-shirt. Or the other girls were wearing cute white t-shirts, I was wearing a men's size XL dress shirt with the sleeves cut because apparently the concept of the shoot was to make me and only me look as terrible as possible. So the photographer decided that we should all take off our bras for this picture, and we all did, and then she looked at me and went "Ooh. Yeah, put that bra back on."

I'm assuming this is a sign that I should never not wear a bra??? Because sometimes I just want to wear things that you can't really wear a bra with. For the record, I'm a 36D and I'm 24 years old with, I'm assuming, normal pertness for my size/age. Is that just too big/saggy to ever let anyone see my boobs............?

Saaoirse

@ranran I am not an arbiter of boobs, but it might well have been the baggy shirt, so I wouldn't conclude anything from that.

sandwiches

@ranran That photographer sounds like a dick. Why was she deciding what your band got to wear anyway?

dj pomegranate

@ranran Agree with @Saaoirse. Sometimes braless is the way to go no matter your size (open backed-sweaters!), as long as they are not swinging wild in the wind (if that is not the look you're going for. If it is, carry on.)

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@ranran: Also, a professional photog, when they are doing their job, is thinking about the shot and nothing else. She wasn't making critiques about your person as much as trying to direct the shot to get the results she wanted. She may have just not liked the way the shadows appeared in the folds of your shirt because it did not match the shadows in the folds of the other shirts on the other girls.

Take away: yes, you should wear backless things.

mardi.

@ranran lighten up - you're "allowed to" do whatever you want! photog was probably just doing their job, or yeah, being a dick.

atipofthehat

@ranran

It sounds to me like you're fine!

Being photographed can make anyone self-conscious. Just relax and then you can see if it feels right to you when you try it.

likethestore

Sorry, but not all of us who like Merrells are moms. :( I have screwed up feet and I HAVE to wear shoes with adequate cushioning/support or else I can barely walk ten minutes without extreme pain. Even with special shoes I have a lot of pain and it really affects my quality of life. I need to see a podiatrist or something, but: no insurance! Whee!

Bittersweet

@likethestore: Plus Merrells are great for slipping on to run to the mailbox, or a quick trip to CVS or the grocery, knowing that you're in New England and there is slush lying in wait everywhere.

Jane Marie

@likethestore Oh I was referring to my actual mom who lives like a mile from the Merrell outlet in Michigan :) Also I'm sorry your feet hurt ever! :(

@Jane Marie I rock the Merrells. I call them my "I'm being a good lesbian" shoes.

atipofthehat

@S. Elizabeth

Thank you for making my hikes more interesting.

@atipofthehat You can sing a little ditty about granola and feminism, too!

Trilby

Not everyone can free-boob some some ladies may want to try wire-free bras, although it is admittedly hard to find good ones. BUt I got so sick of those molded foam cups about a year ago, I went to wire-free, and let me tell you-- the first moment I put one on was heaven. And I look better in them. My boobs fit my shape. The foam cups were producing something alien on my chest that was just wrong.

spoondisaster

@Trilby Thank you! I will have to check one out.

likethestore

@Trilby I haven't worn underwire since high school. Wireless all the way! Although it is harder to find bigger sizes.

MailerMattDaemon

@Trilby Gap Body has some pretty great options for wireless bras--and some pretty great sales to boot!

redheaded&crazy

@MailerMattDaemon Love Gap Body!

raised amongst catalogs

@Trilby ModCloth has this "Bold Hollywood" bra that has no underwire but works just fine for me. It has become my preferred "lounging around the house wishing I could be braless except that I prefer to support and contain myself" underpinning. Go get it.

Indigo

I just about choked on my drink at 'OG boobs'. Love you Jane!

nevernude cutoffs

In regards to sleepwear, as a 28 year old woman, I shop at Aerie for undies and cozy snuggly clothes. They usually have cute, affordable girly stuff I like, without throwing their brand name up all over it (ahem, Victoria's Secret). Stuff like this can't be uncomfortable, and their size range is huge! (Except for bras- please start carrying 32d so I can match thank you)

chevyvan

@nevernude cutoffs Cute stuff! Are the sizes regular sizes or are they more like Juniors sizes?

nevernude cutoffs

@chevyvan It's American Eagle, they are juniors, but they tend to run large. I'm between a size 4-8 (petite, but have big chest/butt, and am usually a medium on bottoms, and a small or medium in shirts)

nevernude cutoffs

@nevernude cutoffs guys, I'm such a nerd, I'm 27. Does it even matter to remember at this point?

yamtoes

@nevernude cutoffs But do they fit well over your cutoffs???

nevernude cutoffs

@yamtoes ...where do you think these cutoffs are from? (in all seriousness, I size up, to effectively hide my thunder)

automaticdoor

@nevernude cutoffs Haha, I'm going to be 25 over President's Day weekend (I'm not getting TOO SPECIFIC on the nets) and thus I keep referring to myself as 25 because I just am not feeling 24 anymore and all my future plans since I'm about to graduate from law school are taking place post-birthday as a quarter-century person and so.

marigold

To the 20 year old college lady: I am a 22 year old college lady, and I wear heels almost every day! And when I first started I felt super weird, like you. But I found that easing into it is good. I mostly wear Oxford heels in the winter and strappy leather sandals in the summer. Just start where you're comfortable. Not wearing anything too high or too bright for a while keeps you from feeling like you're playing dress up amongst all those girls in their running shorts and Chacos.

-----------

Apparently I did something heinous in a past life, for I'm young and small of tit AND YET those small tits are saggy.

simmsimma

@Kate Croy Word. I think we were partners in crime.

Speaking of, can I ask for y'all's thoughtful opinions on post-feminist plastic surgery? Because 007b.com just ain't doing it for me any more, and I'm this close to getting them rearranged. And 99% of the time I can't fucking wait, and 1% of the time I feel super guilty that "having boobs that are the wrong shape" makes the list of things I spend my time thinking about.

LeafySeaDragon

@simmsimma i have a b/c cup, and i've always been ok with them. but after breastfeeding two kids... i'm pretty dead set on getting a lift in 5 years or so (i'll be 36). i do feel a little like a media brainswashed airhead for wanting it. i'll also take a peel and possible eye lift at some point. what is so wrong about wanting a little boost to help me feel good about my body?

hulia

@Kate Croy I feel ya. Super tiny but still not perky. I'm used to it, and actually love how small they are, but there are some shirts that I would absolutely wear braless if I had a little more perk, and then I get annoyed.

nomorecheese

@Kate Croy I'm not uber confident about my boobs either. I'm 23 and never had kids and feel like I could use a lift. They aren't like, round and full, just sort of... blah. I'm generally 34B, which I used to not mind, then went through a period where I minded a lot and JUST WANTED SOME FUCKING CLEAVAGE, and now I'm back to not really caring. When I'm not 10lbs overweight, they diminish immensely to almost an A cup.

Slapfight

@simmsimma Do whatever's going to make you feel good about yourself. Everyone else be damned.

OxfordComma

@simmsimma : Do your homework, know the risks, be smart about it financially. If you've got that shit together, seriously, DO IT.

I'm 30.

If I have kids, my body *will not* recover the way it would have ten years ago. I will have a breast lift and tummy tuck if I need to.

daylightspool

@Kate Croy You didn't do anything heinous...what's heinous is the world telling you that your body is not good enough. Fuck those guys,

-----------

@simmsimma Hey girl, if you have the money and the inclination I think you ought to roll on with your bad self. Gloria Steinem doesn't want you to feel guilty for disliking your tits.

-----------

@nomorecheese Ha! Sames. I can have cleavage if, like, I bend from that waist so my torso is parallel to the floor and squish my boobs together. But whenever I do that at work my boss looks at me weird :/

WastedPaper

So surprised no one mentioned this already, but if you're prone to yeast infections do not wear panties to bed! Stick to loose-fitting jammie pants, or boxers, or something like that. Your vagina will give you a round of applause (and maybe even a high five?) in the morning if you let her live free and unfettered throughout the night.

@WastedPaper ({<3})^5 = my heart/vagina is giving you a high five

nomorecheese

@WastedPaper I used to get UTI's ALL THE TIME and one thing that has helped is wearing only cotton underwear in bed, and changing my underwear before I go to bed so I'm always sleeping in a clean pair. I also change my underwear after I have sex. I have a lot of underwear. But less UTI's! I haven't had a YI in years, knock on wood...

@nomorecheese It sounds like you're talking about yeast infections, not UTIs.

KeLynn

@WastedPaper I have never even had a yeast infection or a UTI and I still go undies-less at least half of the time - just seems prudent!

special_boots

Helpful FYI: going braless (not while exercising, of course) will make your boobs perkier, according to the two studies that I know about. NO studies indicate that it will make them saggier. So consider going braless around the house, at least!

@special_boots How does this WORK?

special_boots

@S. Elizabeth I believe the theory involves the... Cooper's Ligaments? That support the breasts? The idea is that if your breastal supports go completely unused, then they get a lot weaker. I *think* the Wikipedia article on bras has links to the studies.

Flip side, think of it this way: if there were ANY evidence whatsoever that bras kept your boobs from sagging, don't you think companies like Victoria's Secret would remind you about a million times a day? Companies go around touting their products' benefits on the flimsiest of evidence (see: those godawful "toning shoes"), so you gotta figure when they keep mum there's probably a reason. Like why running shoe companies don't ever tell you that their shoes will prevent injuries -- because there's literally zero evidence that fancy running shoes keep you from getting injured, and in fact the reverse seems to be true.

The Great Bra Conspiracy is just my own theory, of course. But the studies re: bralessness and perkiness are real.

Porn Peddler

@special_boots I've heard this too and it makes me want to freeboob it all the time because dude 32As WHAT ELSE ARE THEY GOOD FOR AMIRITE but having my nipples rub against my shirt is SO FUCKING IRRITATING. I think I spend a fair amount of time braless though.

gtrachel

@Third Wave Housewife don't they sell nipple hats now? They're called something else but that's basically all they are.

miwome

@gtrachel Pasties! Is what they're called, at least by me. Me, I usually just make an X over each nipple with bandaids; works fine, stays on, doesn't chafe (because, bandaids!). The one time I ended up having to get them off during sex was sort of weird, but whatever, dude just laughed and we moved on.

Oh also, @special_boots, I read that braless --> perky thing on here somewhere a while ago and have been deliberately bralessing around the house as a result!

special_boots

@gtrachel "Nipple Hats" is my new band name.

fondue with cheddar

@Third Wave Housewife Imagine how much your nipples would rub against your shirt if your boobs were big. I'm a DDD (or bigger, probably), and I go braless around the house all the time. It's a problem when I do a lot of walking around or activity that makes my boobs bounce more, because they chafe something fierce.

Then I spend the next few days picking the dead, chafed skin off my nipples. It's gross, but oddly satisfying, like picking at zits or peeling sunburn.

Liina

@special_boots I've been wearing an American Apparel not-really-a-bra for a few months and my boobs got noticeably perkier. Plus it's sooooo much more comfortable that using underwire.

rararuby

@Liina I live in those AA bras and they rule, comfort-wise. The crossed-strap ones are so great for not having strap slippage. I've been a big nippled 32A since 17, frequently go bra-less (i find jersey a good non-chaffing choice) and am perky in my 30s! [Agent] Cooper's [Twin Peaks] ligaments!

sparrow303

Re: twisty nightgowns, I have one like that. I know what you mean, and I never wear it ever. I've found, though, that tighter-fitting ones stay on better. I've had good luck with Target, plus they're like $12 max there, so you can't got wrong experimenting.

They have long-sleeved sleep tees lately that are super comfy and cute and totally stay put. <3!

GoToaster

I'd love a backless sweater that would allow me to freeboob it while showing off the gorgeous tattoo I have running down my spine. But it is SO HARD to find such a thing that isn't also ugly as sin. I can't even find knitting patterns that fit the bill. Buffy Summers and Cordelia Chase never had any shortage of such things; why should I?

sandwiches

@GoToaster Yes! I really miss Buffy's (good) clothes (because some of those outfits were horrific), from s3 & s4 especially - all the cute cardigans and skirts, and that one super-soft looking aqua backless sweater when she was dreaming that time, and all the strappy handkerchief shirts... So pretty. So inappropriate and inaccessible for 16-year-old me, and nowhere to be found now that 27 year old me wears whatever the hell she likes.

....This has been a slightly-creepy moment of nostalgia and thwarted teenage fashion-hunger. Thank you.

Slapfight

@GoToaster I just saw a really nice twisted back lightweight sweater in the window of Intermix yesterday. It would show off a spinal tattoo perfectly. http://www.intermixonline.com/product/tops/sweaters/a.l.c.+slit+back+sweater.do?sortby=ourPicks
Sadly, it's not cheap.

GoToaster

@sandwiches "that one super-soft looking aqua backless sweater when she was dreaming that time," That is EXACTLY what I'm thinking of. The boatneck line on the front, the wraparound bit with the tie on the side; sooooo pretty. I have to wonder if that was just a regular type cardigan worn backwards.

@Slapfight $265? OOF. Thanks, though.

suzabellajones

@GoToaster Would this do the trick?
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=23505043&cm_mmc=Performics-_-Affiliates-_-ShopStyle.com-_-Primary&clickid=0004b772c6f184310ae0adcb57a97c76

sandwiches

@GoToaster That was my thinking as well! And then in the middle of winter I found a cranberry wrap-tie cardigan like that at a Goodwill and I was so excited for wearing it backwards in summer ...and then I lost it. In my closet. Somewhere. (I am not a Clean Person.)

rararuby

@sandwiches Natasha Kinski's red mohair backless sweater in Paris, Texas - gives me goosebumps just thinking about [her in] it.

Here's a question: who makes knitting patterns? Can you send a photograph of a sweater to someone and they will make a pattern for it? I just got a ton of amazing yarn for Christmas and wanted to recreate a Stella McCartney.

bangs
bangs

Late to this, but unless I missed something, no one commented on the not hating on boob jobs comment. I just had this exact discussion today. I, for one, am happy with my tiny boobs, but if someone wants a boob job, more power to them!

nomorecheese

If you already have pronation due to the natural shape of your legs (cough knock knees cough) such as me, then heels WILL give you bunions. I regret very much that I ever tried to wear them - I never quite found a pair that was comfortable (again because of the naturally fucked up shape of my legs and feet) and so I ended up ruining my feet. My bunions are ugly and painful and I HATE them. If I want surgery, I'll have to lay down for a month! Like who can do that??

Aunty Christ

For super-soft PJs that are cute + sexy + comfy, Eberjey is a good brand!

raised amongst catalogs

@Aunty Christ You just made me look at that website, and what is going on with how gorgeous the India Retro Bralet is? Sadly, my boobs would be hanging out the bottom of it rather than daintily contained.

Old Katrina

As far as cute pjs go, these shorts have changed my life:

http://amzn.com/B002JJTMMM

They are super comfortable, have about the same coverage/feel as granny panties while still looking like shorts, and they make my ass look fantastic, which my boyfriend loves. I usually pair it with a lowish-cut tank/one of his shirts (he's about the same size as I am, so it's fitted), which also makes my boyfriend happy, and I'm happy, because I'm comfortable all over.

novapilbeam

Best advice I ever got from a drag queen: When you walk in heels pretend you are holding a quarter between your butt cheeks!

miwome

@novapilbeam Can "Advice I Got From A Drag Queen" be a column here, please?

Megoon

@miwome Ask a Drag Queen?

fondue with cheddar

@novapilbeam Yeah, but then doesn't your butt look all pinched together and weird?

mackymoo

Also am I the only who thinks it's kind of off that she's looking for sexier pjs for her bf? Maybe mine's just weird, but he prefers me in soft, cuddly tshirts and shorts with animals on them (now known as the whalie shorts or chickie shorts). I buy the sexy stuff for myself, like the Anthro cotton slip with lace on the edges that is comfy to sleep in and also looks adorbs peaking out of the bottom of a dress. If you want to be comfy, be comfy damn it.

mabellegueule

@mackymoo Oh thank you! I just commented about this below.

noodge

@mackymoo my beau prefers me in oversized cuddly things too, but to be fair our bedtime is rarely our sexy time, it's more a cuddle or sleep time.

Porn Peddler

Dude, tell your boyfriend to wear sexy lingerie to bed. Give him some manties with sequins and garbage all over them and be like NOW LEAVE THAT ON IN BED YOU LOOK SO GOOD. Fuck that shit.

Alternately, wear a big t-shirt and teenie, butt-higlighting shorts. It's the best of both worlds! I have this tiny pair of black cotton shorts that I am constantly wearing around the house and to bed (but only on my period because dude how did I ever sleep in clothes naked is the shit)

bloodorange

At some point when I was maybe eight years old, I realized sleeping naked was an option and haven't looked back. whee.

fondue with cheddar

@bloodorange I was very sad in college because I lived in a dorm and had a roommate who didn't appreciate naked-sleeping. So I had to wear PAJAMAS EVERY NIGHT. :(

L M
L M

I am never breastfeeding.

that is all.

ReginaChristina

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. If you are going to wear a culturally appropriated item like muk luks BUY THEM FROM AN ACTUAL ARTISAN. All of these awful, cheap knock-offs that have ZERO craftswomanship are driving me up the wall. For $100 you can buy a pair of muk luks from an aboriginal person that will suppor thtem and their craft and not be supporting a bunch of crappy fashion designers that don't even understand the proper construction of moccasins and Kamiks (Inuiktitut term for muk luks)
/end rant

gtrachel

@ReginaChristina have you any leads on possible sources for the real thing? Because that sounds like a win-win plan.

ReginaChristina

@gtrachel It depends on where you live, of course, looking into reserves in Canada or Reservations in the US is a good idea, or craft sales can be a good option. A lot of makers have stores online too that you can buy from, If you're in Canada http://www.wolfden.ca/moccasins/index.php is an awesome place to look, I've been in contact with the owners for a history project and they are very in touch with the Anishinnabe (Ojibwe)community on Parry Island :D

highjump

@ReginaChristina What are your feelings on family owned companies like Minnetonka Moccasin? I find them to be high quality and they've been around forever. I don't have a car and Native American artisans tend to be not public transportation accessible. Maybe Etsy? Ebay?

cherrispryte

@highjump hey! so this is totally unrelated to this entire post, but I saw your response to my comment in the travelling alone thread about Krakow and wrote a super-long response full of Krakow advice, which, since that was 2 days ago, there's no reason you'd be back there. But, um, go check it out? Not to be a creepster or anything.

Karen McCowan@facebook

@ReginaChristina Just FYI, Manitobah Mukluks (the brand linked to) is a Canadian, Native owned and operated company that produces authentic mukluks. All production takes place in Manitoba, and The Mukluks are hand made and hand beaded. So yeah, they aren't made by individual artisans, but they certainly aren't "awful, cheap knock offs" either.

ReginaChristina

@Karen McCowan@facebook for sure! There are some good businesses out there and I just wanted remind people about the fact that there are so many people on reserves that are very poor, crafts are often a way that they can earn a living, this is particularly true for women. (I may get ranty about this because it's my MA thesis)

fabel

To the last girl: I was a 20 year old college student a few years ago & have had to sometimes go to class directly from a night out, which meant I was wearing some tacky stilettos and not a cute, appropriate, heeled boot. SO you won't look weird, don't worry!

Hellcat

You know what's bugging today regarding heels? Other stupid people at my work. OK, we have hard floors here and some shoes make noise on them! And people always have to be like, "Waaaah, you're walking sooooo noisily!" NO I AM NOT; I am walking the same as I would in shoes that don't have this type of heel on this type of floor; were I wearing a sneaker or a Doc, it would be pretty quiet. Really, is the concept of sound so foreign to everyone? Jerks.

Also, only somewhat related: Yes, I walk fast (which is only emphasized by the fact that you walk really slowly--barely more than a side-to-side sway, really). Yes, you remarked on this yesterday... and the day before... and every day before that. I know this and your noting it aloud daily will probably not change anything. And why is is so interesting to you anyway? Ahhhhhhhhh!

Sorry.

mabellegueule

I skimmed the comments page so maybe this has already been addressed, but do we really have to care what our boyfriends think of our pyjamas? Is his "silent but palpable disappointment" really a reason to buy new things? It might not even be real disappointment it might all be in the letter-writer's head! And if it IS real, well shouldn't HE be the one to get over it? Can anyone actually lend a sympathetic ear to a guy who says "my girlfriend is great but she wears PYJAMAS instead of LINGERIE".

Hellcat

@mabellegueule Well... sometimes it's fun to wear stuff you know your SO actively likes, even when s/he's fine with your other stuff. I have a Spider-Man t-shirt that, while I like it enough, I don't care about it all that much in general but it makes my BF so adorably happy when I wear it.

fondue with cheddar

@mabellegueule If you wear lingerie every night, then wearing lingerie isn't special anymore. I think it's better to be comfy most of the time, but pull out the sexy stuff occasionally for a nice surprise.

OxfordComma

@mabellegueule : You have a good point--but...I've always felt that part of being in a good relationship is the willingness to do things that may be utterly silly to you, but make your partner happy.

(this does not go to the extent of doing something that makes you uncomfortable or scared, obvs!)

KeLynn

@mabellegueule I figure, my boyfriend sees me in pajamas more than he sees me in real clothes (I have slowly become one of those people who has to take off my real pants as soon as I get home), so yeah, I want them to be at least semi-cute. It's not like I'm wandering around the house in lingerie every night, but a fitted thermal and cute yoga pants are a lot more attractive than baggy sweatpants and some big unisex tee I got for free from a 5K or something.

Hella

@mabellegueule Can't lie, my first reaction was: WTF, am I supposed to be dressing to look sexy even when I SLEEP?

oboe-d-amore

@mabellegueule I said this in another comment above, but yeah, I totally agree. Plus, like, lingerie isn't actually meant to be worn to sleep in, right? Other people think this too? I love dressing up sexily for my GF, but when I go to sleep I am wearing a t-shirt and gym shorts.

Hellcat

@KeLynn OH ME TOO! The other night I wondered if mine even knows I have regular clothes. But he's pretty much the same so it's OK ("Hey... where's my sleepy paaaaaants?"); we've become that couple and, I have to admit, I'm fine with it.

KeLynn

@Hellcat Secretly I am totally fine with it, too. Although if I get home before him, I'll usually keep my real clothes on long enough for him to get home and at least see that yes, today I did actually put on clothes with zippers and buttons and a waistband that doesn't stretch.

Hellcat

@KeLynn If I'm trying to be tricky about it, I'll actually keep a bra on and wear my Apartment Pants, an old pair of Levi's I deliberately purchased way too large and wash as often as I can be bothered so as to soften 'em up! I can pull them down and up without using the zipper and they don't look awful like those fly-by-night Pajama Jeans! Yes, Apartment Pants! (I don't know why this name is specifically for these pants and not others.) But, anyway, I really think the BF is totally clued into the Apartment Pants scheme, so I am probably not as cool as I thought.

roughe

re: HEELS.

Guys, I'm a stripper and I'm also like 5'9'' so before I started dancing I'd literally never worn heels before in my life. It was definitely a learning curve but there's several things I recommend which I'll order from life-changing to just basic notes.

1. walk HEEL TO TOE. This sounds basic but seriously, walk planting your heel and then your toes. It's somehow slightly different from regular walking. Just try it, and you'll feel everything grow more aligned.

2. start out walking in heels in your home (or somewhere you don't mind looking stupid) on the carpet. It will feel weird and uncomfortable. When you start on a surface like that and transition to hard surfaces like tile or linoleum you'll see in everyday life it becomes SO MUCH easier.

3. look at the PLATFORM for the heels when you're picking them out. For a beginner, pick something with a big platform like this. Those will be just as comfortable as sneakers. You can literally run in those shoes, I guarantee it. Later on, you can graduate to stilletos and skinny heels but starting with them will make your feet hurt and turn you off from wearing heels forever.

Signed,

A Girl Who Regularly Slips into Six Inch Heels for Eight Hours Straight

sufferingjukebox

YOU GUYS, are clogs not okay? i'm sad. two of my hip gal friends wear them, so now i wear them. have we all made a terrible mistake?

daylightspool

Kind of disappointed with this one: "Here's my philosophy: only freeboob for a reason — to create a certain silhouette, because straps would ruin the look, because you're trying to get laid, etc. Never freeboob out of laziness — you can leave that to the 23-year-olds."

Um, yes you should freeboob out of laziness? No matter how old you are? Older dudes with bigger boobs freeboob out of laziness all the time...so why should we women be held to any stricter standards? Because guess what? No we shouldn't give a fuck about what anyone thinks about anything about us. I'm 27, and just the other day, I freeboobed around the AT&T repair dudes. I'm a DD, they ain't perky, and it was cold. And at first I saw my nips in the mirror and then was about to toss on a sports bra or something, and then I thought, "Wait, what exactly am I ashamed off? That I have a body? Oh wait - no." It felt delightfully subversive and confrontational.

Fuck bras - those expensive, uncomfortable, oppressive pieces of shit. Seriously.

apples and oranges

@daylightspool I dig this comment in a big way

daylightspool

@kangerine It was only just this summer that I got angry while driving my car once cause my bra was SO UNCOMFORTABLE. I stopped where I was and shimmied it off under my shirt and that was THAT. Maybe because I delight in making myself what the world would deem "ugly," but it felt so aggressively rebellious to let my boobs just be free, challenging people to look at them. I could be conventionally "beautiful" if I wanted to, but a) I'm lazy and b) fuck that noise. I am beautiful in the way I want to be, which is as a hairy, saggy, frizzy, chubby, mustached goddess. TAKE THAT PATRIARCHY.

OxfordComma

@daylightspool : I have learned to whip it off *before* I start my hour commute home. 'Coz otherwise...ricochet.

CasualElegance

If you MUST wear heels during the day as a college student, like if you feel too short without them, go with a wedge heel wherever possible or a thicker heeled boot. Please no stiletto heels during the daytime, you are a college student and not Anne Hathaway in the Devil Wears Prada. In regaurds to 'learning how to walk in heels' I can completely relate because I was really akward when I first started to learn. My advice is, wear your heels out at night when you go out drinking. 1. You will be less self concious when drinking and will walk more naturally. 2. You might not be walking as far as you would during the day (i.e. as long as you can get yourself into the bar/frat party you should be set. 3. If you do wobble on your heels, or worse, fall down you can always just blame it on being drunk :)

rararuby

@Darcy Agreed. There is always something to be said for appropriate dress. My mucky, wet and spread-out campus just makes wearing heels a bizarre choice. Use your college years to rock a low-effort look (which may or may not actually take effort). I cringe for the ladies i see teetering to class in awkward footwear.

sutton

Yes, wear heels all the time in your 20s and turn your feet into cringe-inducing flesh pie servers by the time you are 30.

gotplaid?

How to wear heels:

1.) Put on heels
2.) Set iPod to booty-thumping playlist
3.) Strut to the music
4.) Hope you live someplace windy
5.) Feel like hot stuff
6.) Tumble a bit in the wind
7.) Regain composure, restart song

ReginaChristina

@Karen McCowan@facebook for sure! There are some good businesses out there and I just wanted remind people about the fact that there are so many people on reserves that are very poor, crafts are often a way that they can earn a living, this is particularly true for women. (I may get ranty about this because it's my MA thesis)

Hellcat

I have to add that, today, I am wearing some very cute ankle-height boots with absolutely no heel at all, and almost wiped right the hell out! It's raining here and these farkakte things have a completely smooth sole that I have never noticed before! It's only a matter of time before I do that oh-so-attractive step-skid-slide business that never goes unnoticed by a coworker or two.

These: http://www.polyvore.com/madden_girl_ernest_buckle_boot/thing?id=30427303

Verity

Never freeboob out of laziness — you can leave that to the 23-year-olds.

*laughs hollowly* I am 22 and have not been able to go braless (other than at night) for about twelve years; they have been saggy ever since I first got them, and also so large (E-cup by age 13, currently H) that the lack of support causes discomfort. Youth is, irritatingly, no guarantee of perkiness.

Feminist Killjoy

i think LW4 is uncomfortable because she feels overdressed. that's how i feel if i wear heels to class on my campus. the key is to dress the heels WAY down. like wear the most un-try-hardy outfit you have, natural makeup, and not try hardy hair, glasses if you have them, etc. a jean jacket is good for this.

Charlie M. King@facebook

OK, I'm curious: what "kinds of fun most of us only dream of" are you referring to? 'Cause my F-cups are pretty much not any kind of fun.

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