The Man-sturizer
“The man today purchasing these products is so different than eight years ago. These guys who always thought it was vain or too metrosexual [to splurge on beauty products] now think it’s almost a badge they wear to say, ‘I’m a modern guy because I care about my skin.’ ”
—Is the man splurging on beauty products today so different than the man splurging on beauty products eight years ago? In an informal, Hairpin-conducted follow-up survey about men's beauty-splurging habits, one man revealed "I know razor blades cost a fuck of a lot more, but other than that I can tell you that my beauty routine has remained mostly unchanged." However, when asked if he, like one of the men in the piece, spends $600 a year on moisturizers, the man evaded the question by saying, "I don't spend $600 a year on HAIRCUTS." Could that mean he spends $600 a WEEK on haircuts? "I don't even spend $600 a week on ALCOHOL and CIGARETTES," he again sidestepped, "which are really my big two expenses." Hm. Men: mysterious as ever.
My husband might be willing to spend $600 on beauty products if they could prevent his hairs from curling in on themselves and back into his skin every time he tries to cut them shorter than beard-length.
@RK Fire Seriously, TendSkin. It's a miracle.
@Lily Rowan, I was just going to say that it sounds like someone needs a little TendSkin in their stocking this xmas. I will say that one of the dudes in my house is a bigger fan of the Anthony brand ingrown hair remover, but I also live in a house of dudes who spend more than the average dude on beauty products, so he counterintuitively might like it because of (not despite) the higher price tag.
@hulia And it's probably even better for dudes than for this lady, because I find it makes my nail polish dull, weirdly.
@Lily Rowan: Hey hey–thank you, ladies! I don't shave my legs or pubic area and only periodically shave my armpits so I have next-to-no experience with this stuff. My husband has been keeping a beard out of necessity (honestly, it looks better on him) but he's occasionally concerned that people don't see him as completely professional because he's not clean-shaven and then he'll rail about how unfair that is because it's so painful for him (and some other black men) to be clean shaven.
@RK Fire I can not swear my experience will transfer, because I am a white lady with straight hair, but literally any other hair on my body will in-grow if given half a chance.
@Lily Rowan: I took a look at that, and on their website they mention razor bumps as a big problem for black men so hopefully this means that their product will work for someone with his hair texture.
I mean, shit, I can't contribute anything to this, I'm an asian lady who barely shaves her body. I'm glad someone can recommend something.
From my husband: "All I've ever wanted in my adult life is for my hair to act like the second half of that gif, and not the first half. I may buy some of this right now."
@RK Fire I really can't say enough about what a difference it made for me. (Not enough of a difference that I've gotten a second bikini wax since I used it, but enough that I now understand how people do that regularly and not just for special events.)
Good luck to your husband!
This story comes out about every 8 years. Yes, we know. Men care what they look like.
Not because of a $600 cosmetic habit on either of our parts, but my guy has much softer hands than I do. Should I be embarrassed? Should I ask a femme what's wrong with my hands?
@travelmugs Definitely.
@travelmugs My dude never gets chapped lips. My lips flake and crack all winter and his are so soft ALL the time.
I probably use lipgloss too often but WHAT GIVES?!
@travelmugs I think I may have the unfortunate answer to this: I suspect boys don't wash their hands as much, or get as much cleaning product/cosmetics on their hands (which necessitates, of course, more cleaning)
@travelmugs Ahh me too! My husband says it's because he's at school all day and writing and grading stuff is easier on his hands than my stupid cashier job, but the situation was the same when he was a waiter and I worked in an office. I just have dry hands.
@gravie: I wonder.
There's a product for car interiors call Armor-All. It's a spray shine/protector. Thing is, after you use it, all the surfaces tend to get dried out over time, unless you used more… Armor-All.
Constantly sealing or lotioning skin may stop your skin from producing the natural oils that keep it lubricated, by nature of displacement.
i still don't get this. if i didn't buy shampoo, my SO would wash his damn hair with Dr Bronner's. If I could figure out what sort of hair products would help him, I'd tie him down and teach him to use them, but he'd never never think to use that stuff on his own.
@candybeans – True story – I was taught growing up that you used a bar of irish springs. END OF STORY. That was the ONLY thing needed in the shower, until you were old enough to need a can of barbasol and like, a rusty knife.
But then I got older, and now I use one of those fluffy scrubby things (the kind for your hand w/ the little rope for holding, not the kind on a stick), and some like, CVS Brand Shea/Cocoa butter wash, and some cocoa butter moisturizer, and I guess my skin is soft, but it definitely smells like cake in my bedroom in the mornings, which makes me feel weird cuz I feel un-manly. But the soft skin thing is nice I guess? I dunno, I have thought about trying to figure out who to "Ask A…" but I figured I'll just wait till someone I'm dating one day yells at me.
@candybeans I just found out my boyfriend has been washing his entire body with shampoo. I told him to please, PLEASE just use my body wash. I think I've convinced him to start using my moisturizer, too.
@candybeans One of my friends was dating this total juicebox a couple years ago who washed his hair with bar soap and refused to buy shampoo or conditioner because "it contributed to an unnecessary culture of commercialism." This is when he could be bothered to shower. His hair was like straw.
This is just one of the many reasons we all celebrated when they broke up.
@jen325 I use shampoo as body wash. I figure they pretty much have exactly the same things in them.
@candybeans Dude, I found out my boyfriend just does not wash his body. He washes his hair and "figures the soap washing off his head cleans the rest of him" because too much soap is "bad for the natural balance of oils on your body". I will admit: I smell bad more often than he does but really? No soap? No scrubbing of pits? How does this work?
@Muffin I use shampoo as body wash, conditioner as shaving cream, body wash as hand soap, and bar soap to wash my bras in the sink.
@candybeans My ex would sometimes wash his clothes without detergent because he was too lazy to get the soap in the closet that was like maybe 5 feet away from him.
@The Lady of Shalott UGHHHH WHAT A JUICEBOX.
@jen325 this is my fear, that he would use my aveda shampoo as bodywash when his bar of crap soap runs out. God. He just ran out of bar soap, and i told him that i have eight kinds of bodywash in the shower he should use instead. I fear that now I've given him an invitation to use a cup of my gorgeous-smelling Carol's Daughter body wash. mennnn.
@rabbittime: that's sort of adorable. in a, like, you-dont-really-get-hygiene-do-you sort of way.
@all: using shampoo as bodywash totally makes sense; the philosophy one says you can use it as such. i've done it.
@leon.saintjean *sniff* look how far you've come! on behalf of all the ladies, i'm proud of you. boys smelling like cake is a plus in my book.
@Muffin @candybeans There is a difference. I wouldn't use them interchangeably, but I suppose how well it works for you depends on the brand and your skin type.
@rabbittime While I understand his reasoning, it only goes so far. We do have to wash ourselves, at least the important parts (pits and crotch). I've been known to skip my arms and legs in the shower sometimes, but skipping the rest is just not an option. Ever.
@rabbittime Ahhh what? Does he think the shampoo really gets all up in his crack and balls and all the nooks and crannies? I am just so confused.
Balk.
Ah, The Mysterious Mister Balk strikes again!
@Jolie Kerr I knew it had to be him.
Men love going splurge.
My wife constantly gives me shit for shelling out $20-25 for Bumble and Bumble Sumo Wax. but I swear to god it's the best hair wax I've ever used and every time I've bought another brand I regret it immediately. It's clingy and strong without leaving gross residue in your hair or turning into sharp spikes, and it's the only thing that really lets me do anything with my hair more complicated than "straight up" or "random fuzz".
edit: Oh, and another thing: unlike every other wax I've tried, it doesn't smell like weird dish soap and chemicals.
@Leon Tchotchke strong without leaving gross residue in your hair
Does this wax have a brother?
"Men: mysterious as ever."
word.
I'm a man, and I spend zero dollars and zero cents on shampoo!
@boyofdestiny Trying this at the moment. Going pretty well so far!
My boyfriend pretty much refuses to use moisterizer until I mock him and call him "Ashy Larry".
@parallel-lines: Playing the Ashy Card. That is harsh…
@ejcsanfran What you need is some chapstick and a set of trousers.
"I going to give myself Prettiest Eyes. I secretly always wanted this badge."
My husband washes his entire body with Head and Shoulders, doesn't use any beauty products at all, and cuts his own hair with clippers, and yet he looks better than I do ALL THE DAMN TIME. Maybe not caring is a great moisturizer.
@Bittersweet That explains why the How to be a Boy Beauty Q & A column here is… non-existent?
@Bittersweet Conversely, my dude uses body wash for both washing his body AND HIS HAIR? And his hair is fantastic, and I am jealous.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher My dude does this weird thing where he lathers up with shampoo and then, without rinsing, puts the conditioner on? And then rinses everything together? I don't understand it AT all, but he has glorious shiny waves.
@Alixana Innnnteresting! I kind of want to try this, actually.
I man-sturize regularly. But not as much as I did eight years ago.
Wait … what are we talking about again?
@MisterHippity: I rely on Steve Martin's All-Natural Penis Beauty Creme – New Formula for all my man-sturizing needs.
I like Mister as dirty and careless as he is, but I would spring for a facial if he agreed to it. Mister Third Wave: Gives No Fucks, Buys No Moisturizers.
As a Dude, I started off with a regimen of Old Spice deodorant, Head & Shoulders, and Ivory soap, because that's what my dad used and so was what we had around the house. Sometime in college I decided I should Be My Own Man and try to find products that suit me. As it turns out, I actually do have dandruff, like the smell of Old Spice, and hate the slick greasy feeling you get from "shower gel" so I'm kind of back to square one.
Counting haircuts, toothbrushes/paste, those fucking razors, and incidentals like chapstick, I probably spend about as much on a year of hygiene as 2 weeks' alcohol & cigarettes (plus my girlfriend usually gets me a bottle of Issey Miyake eau de toilette for Christmas). That's less than I spent 8 years ago, so by NY Times evidentiary standards of "some guy I talked to" this article is WRONG WRONG WRONG.
My boyfriend buys far more expensive moisturizers than I do. And, unlike me, he remembers to put lotion on his feet before bed so, unlike mine, his hands and feet are always soft.
He also spent Thanksgiving getting an anti-aging facial while I watched football.
@H.E. Ladypants Ahhh. I always forget/am too lazy to put lotion on my feet before bed.
Ughhhhh this makes me think of when my entire face was covered with cystic acne for 6 years straight and my dad would suggest I "try washing [my] face well with soap and water."
@Nutmeg My mom went through a period when I was in high school when she refused to buy my brother and I acne-targeted face wash, because she had this friend who was a doctor in a poor city in Romania and SHE said you could just use cheap shaving cream as a face wash and the alcohol would cure everything. THIS DID NOT WORK. Did it work better than no face wash at all if you lived in a poor Romanian city and couldn't afford anything else? Probably. Did it work better than using actual medicated products that cost more than 99 cents? NOOO.