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Friday, December 16, 2011

392

Reverse Bucket List

Things I never want to do before I die.

1. Go to Vegas “with my girls.”

2. Marry into a jazz legacy.

3. Be alone in nature for any amount of time.

4. Teach Shakespeare at an inner-city public school.

5. Own a condo in Florida.

6. Confront my fears (sharks/elevators/intimacy).

7. Watch Sex and Lucia in a movie theater with my parents ... again.

8. Live alone in a huge mansion with only my life-size Victorian doll collection to comfort me.

9. Swim with dolphins (they are the frat guys of the sea, read this).

10. Attend Lollapalooza.

Rose Surnow Tweets @RoseSurnow.



392 Comments / Post A Comment

backstagebethy

Aw some of my favorite music memories are from Lollapalooza. But I did decide last year that I was never going to a festival again because I am too old/heat-sensitive/grumpy for them.

Hamsterdam

@backstagebethy I think I was on the point of dehydration when I stood in the same place for 6 hours, waiting out Hot Chip and Devo before Lady Gaga came on. The guy next to me didn't make it, he had to be air lifted out and he looked like a raisin. Ahh memories.

AbdulAlhazred

@backstagebethy Go to a better class of festival :-) I go to several ritzy festivals a year that don't involve sunblock or latrines OR tents... showers! real beds! (All Tomorrows Parties and Primavera)

hotdog

@backstagebethy I will never get over my surprise that lollapalooza is still going on. never.

bangs
bangs

@Hamsterdam I passed out at Bonnaroo, but handled myself and recovered.

chevyvan

You know, Lollapalooza isnt' that bad as long as you never have to go to the bathroom.

backstagebethy

@chevyvan Or if you get so drunk you don't care about the state of the bathroom. But when they close off the actual ladies' rooms in the actual buildings and force everyone to use porta potties...*shakes fist*

BadWolf

- Meet a Nice Jewish Boy.
- Learn to knit.
- Run/walk/move in a marathon.
- Anything involving the running of the bulls; the skydiving; or the picturesque letting of a bird/monkey sit on my arm, because that shit...no.

travelmugs

@BadWolf Second the marathon thing. Seriously?! Why is this on everyone's "life lists?" It looks miserable.

Maybe this actually just says something about the type of people who make "life lists."

dj pomegranate

@travelmugs Why SO MANY people want to participate in a 26 mile race is totally beyond my comprehension.

BadWolf

@dj pomegranate Mass hysteria.

teaandcakeordeath

@BadWolf
Is this something that strikes in your mid 20s? I know so many previously unathletic people who have just suddenly decided to run a marathon that I'm getting paranoid its some sort of airborne contagion. Dont let it get me! Im too unfit for such things!

HeyThatsMyBike

@dj pomegranate I ran a half marathon earlier this year, mostly because I knew paying a lot of money to register would make me actually work out and quasi-train so that the race wasn't a total waste of money. My plan worked and I actually went to the gym/ran outside a lot and stayed in shape better than I usually do in the summer when I typically just drink outside all the time.
But the weird thing was that everyone was like "Oh, you'll be hooked! As soon as you finish the half you'll want to sign up for a full!" Literally the very first thing I thought when I crossed the finish line was, "Why the FUCK would anyone want to run 13 MORE miles after that?" So yeah, even having been a bit insane in deciding to run 13 miles, I have no idea why people are possessed to do real marathons.

EpWs

@HeyThatsMyBike Also, the "runner's high." Can we talk about this? And how apparently everyone on the planet gets them EXCEPT ME? I don't get euphoric or anything during or after exercise. I just get these stabby pains in my lungs and make them go away by eating piles of mashed potatoes.

Umlauts

@teaandcakeordeath I noticed this too! It's a definite quarterlife crisis thing happening among my friends, along with break-ups, moves and "thinking about grad school". Marathoning just seems so boring. I took up rock-climbing instead.

bangs
bangs

@dj pomegranate I run 5k, 10 if I'm feeling ambitious and can not imagine running a full marathon. It would KILL my knees!

candybeans

@HeyThatsMyBike i have a facebook friend who has become obsessed with running, and being a general juicebox, he's always talking about how great he is at it. A few weeks ago, he ran a marathon in southern california, then, with a group of other people who had just run the marathon, flew to Vegas and ran a half. and said it was a terrible idea, so that made me feel better.

HeyThatsMyBike

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher After I run I find I sleep better and have a bit more energy the next day, but there's no discernable "runner's high" for me. I think it's either a bit of a myth or what happens when you're running too much and there's not enough oxygen getting to your brain.
Like you, kindred spirit, I also use running as an excuse to eat lots of potato products (in my case, chips).

D.@twitter

@BadWolf UGH YES I hate running. WHY would you want to run until your nipples bleed (LITERALLY, PEOPLE) and you sh*t yourself (apparently this happens often enough for them to specifically prohibit it in race rules)? Whenever I feel like vigorous activity, I just wrap myself in a warm blanket and read a book until the feeling goes away.

EpWs

@HeyThatsMyBike That seems reasonable. I do love my potato products.

rabswom

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I do not get a runner's high either. I get runner's crankiness instead. I keep doing it though. I was convinced to sign up for a half marathon in February. It's insane.

teaandcakeordeath

@Umlauts
This is weird, so did I! I can't wait to get that grip of steel so that I stop falling off the climbing wall so much.

Saiko

@travelmugs I had drinks with a coworker recently who was in a foul mood because she had to go run a marathon the next day. Last time I checked these were optional? Also why are they such a huge fundraiser thing--why don't people clean parks for the cure, for instance?

Saiko

@Saiko Technically it wasn't a "marathon", rather some kind of K

feartie

@BadWolf RE running of the bulls. YES. I was in Pamplona for the last day of it, though I didn't want to run, and Oh. Dear. God. Favourite memories: people peeing in the street. Litter in the street up to knee level in some places. Pickpockets (including one I mentioned in another thread who was using a razor blade...)

The time around 4 am when I saw two little (maybe 8 or 9 year old) boys run past, play fighting with giant inflatable purple penises. While techno music blasted and people were throwing their glass drinks around.

Meeting the bulls at night, not realising that they are gruesomely butchered at the end of the run. I naively thought we weren't doing that sort of thing any more, but nope.

The rain, and getting so cold and fed up we had to hide in an underground car park, pretending to be waiting for a friend who had keys to one of the cars we were leaning on.

Then in the end being made to move away from our sweet spot near the start of the race, so in the end we hardly saw a thing (probably good in retrospect).

Going into the underground bus station before the bull-massacre (which of course we didn't stay to see) and descending into a layer of smoke and temporary homelessness, having not slept (who needs a hotel room? Silly youth) and having to work out which bus we needed and then wait hours for it in the gross smokey fugue for it to come to take us the hell out of there.

TL;DR Running with the bulls/ watching the bulls run - not recommended.

Maria

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I never got it either. Running just makes my body mad at me in creative ways.

disco_clone

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher YES! As soon as I start talking to my friends about joining a gym, they're all "endorphins, endorphins". I don't have any, apparently. That word should be banned. Exercise only feels good when you stop! (Or if you're actually doing something that's otherwise fun, like dancing)

once more with feelings

@D.@twitter How would they enforce that rule though, though! HEY YOU! STOP POOPING RIGHT NOW!

D.@twitter

@once more with feelings Well, as w/ so many crimes, it's only if they catch you...but if they do, you get disqualified. I mean, it just seems like most other events don't feel the need to specify that "urinating or defecating anywhere on or near the course shall be strictly prohibited except in toilet facilities. Anyone violating this rule of conduct shall be disqualified from the event and will be asked to leave the course."* ON the course?! ON THE COURSE.
*from the Chicago marathon rules.

bashe

@D.@twitter It's only dudes who get the bloody nipples, on account of their not wearing of the bras. Ha ha, ladies win!!

Wrecking Ball Gown

@D.@twitter To clarify, I think that rule is meant to address runners that go behind a bush or something, not go in their pants. Facilities can be too few and far between on a race course. I've never resorted to going outside but plenty of people do.

heb
heb

- Run for office
- Skydive

JessicaLovejoy

* Have a prolapsed...anything

* Accidentally fall in love with long lost fraternal twin/cousin

* Try Qream

* Meet the mother with the glass eyes and thumping wooden tail from Scary Stories (I'M STILL ON THIS YOU GUISE)

rayray

@JessicaLovejoy Say No To Prolapse! I am on board with this.

lue
lue

@JessicaLovejoy
YES. I saw that thread yesterday, but you bringing up the mother with the glass eyes and wooden tail made me have to speak up. That story and the one where the scarecrow guy paces across the roof scared the shit out of me. Most of the other stories, not so scary. The drawings, though, are some of the most terrifying things I've ever seen in my life.
Remember the one where the girl stabs the thing on her head and it's full of spiders?
Or, "That's not a dog, it's a sewer rat with rabies."
AAHHHH!

meetapossum

@lue HAROLD is the name of the scarecrow. And he is terrifying.

Also, in Googling that picture, I have now learned that there are YouTube videos of people reading the stories. I may just listen to them for the rest of the day and not be able to sleep tonight.

mouthalmighty

#3! Yes! Nature is scary, I never want to be in it ALONE.

Hambulance

@mouthalmighty Damn, Nature! You scary!

SarahP

My only regret about my marriage is that my husband isn't part of a jazz legacy!

JessicaLovejoy

@SarahP And you remind him of that every day.

SarahP

@JessicaLovejoy "You didn't do the dishes?! I should have married a Marsalis!"

spoondisaster

@SarahP one of my exes is on his way to becoming a Famous Jazz Musician, and the only thing I miss about him was the jazz. they are the best (also craziest)

whateverlolawants

@spoondisaster I "dated" (to put a gloss on it) someone who thought he was on the way to becoming a Famous Jazz Musician, and I miss exactly nothing.

Polina

I'm glad I'm not the only one who literally could not give two shits about Vegas.

BadWolf

@Polina You are not! Vegas seems so...very icky. Let's never go.

Hellcat

@Polina I went once for a work convention. I (gladly) spent my last night there in my hotel room watching Law & Order reruns.

whizz_dumb

@Polina There's actually a lot of us. I would have 80x more fun playing c-low with a bunch of crackheads in a filthy squat house.

PistolPackinMama

@whizz_dumb And I. No Vegas for me, thankyouverymuch. Venice? Sure. But no Vegas.

wharrgarbl

@BadWolf I want to go for the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas quality of it. I do not need "my girls" along for this.

dracula's ghost

@AnthroK8 I FUCKING HATE VEGAS

dj pomegranate

@AnthroK8 Vegas is a drag and also expensive.

liznieve

@Polina
hey hey hey, enough hatred for my hometown! There's something for everyone! The shows! The restaurants! The shopping! The ...clubs!

Eh, fuck it, carry on; I wouldn't spend money go there either.

redheaded&crazy

@Polina Really the only thing that interests me about Vegas is going to see all 17 or what have you Cirque shows.

Since none of my friends share this particular interest ... well I don't predict it happening any time soon.

femme cassidy

@Polina I have been to Vegas twice and I hated it both times. The second time was to see a Cirque de Soleil show with my mom while on a road trip; the show was awesome, but we were both so skeeved by the Vegas-y-ness that we got back in the car and drove three more hours that night so that we could sleep somewhere else.

beanie

@Hellcat are we soulmates? I went to Vegas for a work convention, spent the night in the hotel room watching To Catch A Predator and SVU. Then I ordered room service (mozarella sticks, chocolate cake, orange soda, all on the company dime).

wharrgarbl

@femme cassidy ...wow. That is some first-class Vegas-hatin'.

femme cassidy

@wharrgarbl I mean, we were on a road trip! "Let's see if we can get a little farther" was kind of the theme of the week. Plus hotels in Vegas are stupid expensive.

wharrgarbl

@femme cassidy I'm going to pretend I didn't see the rational explanation so that I can continue to imagine you guys as Homer in the "NYC is the worst" Simpsons episode.

Hellcat

@beanie HA! To celebrate on the day I got to leave (the morning after I drank the minibar because I was certainly not walking the seeming two miles to the casino to save a buck or two), my friend and I ordered a big old breakfast... oh, I had some lox and cream cheese and capers (capers!), so that part was good.

Then we arrived at the airport only to find we were delayed for two hours. I went to pee and got the whole toilet-paoer seat-cover made all nice and perfect but when I turned to unbutton, the automatic flusher kicked in and took it all away! Then I got mad at my carry-on, dumped it out, and bought a new one in a shop right then and there. My friend tried to buy me a Cinnabon to soothe me.

Mingus_Thurber

@redheadedandcrazy I'd totally go to Vegas for that. No, really. We could take a picnic basket full of good cheese and nice, crusty bread so we didn't have to eat weird hotel food, and stop at a liquor store for booze, and watch Cirque, then go back to the hotel room and eat/drink/smoke/watch TV.

redheaded&crazy

@Mingus_Thurber DONE! The perfect trip. Now to save up for all those Cirque tickets...

JoanTition

@wharrgarbl EXACTLY. Go to Vegas but not the strip you go to the OLD strip (Fremont St) and you look at the casinos that are falling apart and you are maybe on drugs and then you somehow end up seeing an all Polynesian Queen cover band and then you win $180 playing roulette and scream ROULETTE IS MY BITCH while you sip out of something shaped like dice.

All while wearing a faking ponytail.

So what I'm saying is... there are ways to have fun in Vegas.

bangs
bangs

@Polina I went to Vegas with my dad because it was the cheapest place to fly into and rent a car from, and logistically close to the Grand Canyon, Death Valley, and the 101. We won $500 playing roulette and rode a roller coaster so it's not all bad!

liznieve

@JoanTition I think we could be friends.

julia

Feelings About Vegas as a taste marker. I'm judging all of you in your judgy-ness!

I love Vegas, it is just so nauseating and wonderful.

wharrgarbl

@JoanTition I wanted to elope to Vegas instead of having a normal wedding. I was torn between getting married by Elvis, with an all-Elvis wedding party, and getting married in one of those drive-through chapels, with a wedding photo that involved a security-camera-style black-and-white shot of us hanging out the car windows.

laurel

This is all true but you can drink while you try on ridiculous shoes in Vegas. I've never found another place where I could do that.

Hellcat

@wharrgarbl I have friends who did just this!

redonion

@Polina Yes. One of my aunts was in Las Vegas for work and she invited me to come hang out since I had never been to Vegas. And so she asked me, "What would you like to do?" And I replied, "Go to the Grand Canyon." And so we did. She did make me walk into a casino though. I lost a dollar in a slot machine, and that was that because it was all the money I had to lose. I will say that the place is a pretty amazing social and cultural phenomenon, though. It's a whole city to revel in and then contain our vices. Wooooooo Vegas!

wharrgarbl

@Hellcat I wanted to do the Elvis thing more, but I also really wanted a glossy 8x10 in a classy frame of us hanging out the car window, yelling "I do!" into a shitty speaker. Complete with a date-time stamp along the lower edge.

Trilby

@dj pomegranate Here is the cheap (and kinda fun) way to do Vegas: Eat 2 big meals a day at the buffet. All-you-can-eat breakfast is like $3.95. You have that around 11:00AM. Then, all-you-can-eat lunch for like $4.95 at the last possible minute, say 3:55PM, and linger over it. You're good to go. Oh, and don't lose at gambling!

CleverPseudonym

@wharrgarbl @"...and you KNOW how I feel about hellholes!"

Greatest episode ever. Signed, a prickly NYC resident

Hellcat

@wharrgarbl OK, first, let me say that reading your post gave me a crazy sense of random deja vi for some reason -- it (the DV, not your post) was so weird! Anyway...

I agree! Sometimes I think I judge the desirability of events based on the commemorative photo I could have afterward!Then you can go find some awful/fabulous old frame and display it proudly!

rabswom

@julia I don't enjoy gambling, but I think Vegas is awesome. I love it for its ridiculousness. It's just so over the top! Go to fakey Venice or a fakey Pyramid! Pretend your back in ancient Rome! Ride a rollercoaster above fake New York! What's not to love?

Also: the Bellagio fountain is awesomesauce. I could watch it all day, especially from the cafe at Paris, Paris across the street with some creme brulee. YUM.

Hellcat

@rabswom Put like that, I could maybe give it another try. Sadly, I did work things from 9-5 and then the people I was with only wanted to gamble afterward. So maybe if a non-work-related opportunity rears its head, I'll try again for the glorious OTTness.

rabswom

@Hellcat I can see how going with people who wanted to gamble could make it really boring and sucky. I did put some money in a slot machine just for the experience, but that was not very entertaining.

Fortunately for me, I was there with a friend who was willing to ride the rollercoaster with me at NY, NY until we were both nauseous. And then we took a 'day trip' to the Grand Canyon (left at 5am, back by 5am the next day).

insouciantlover

@Polina The Best Time I Went to Las Vegas I stayed at this place called Terrible's for $23/night (my then bf told me "haha, you're gonna get raped there!" I broke up with him shortly after) where all the employees still wore their nametags from the 80s and the restaurant served a $2.99 biscuit and gravy that was as big as my face.

Hellcat

@rabswom I want that friend. Mine (whom, of course, I do love very much) just wanted to play the "Hot, Hot Penny" slot machine all night! And then yell at me for not understanding that "max bet" meant I would run out of money really fast. But he also yelled, "WE DON'T WANT YOU TO CLEAN TODAY!" through the hotel room door at the lady. I know it sounds harsh, but they had knocked about 15 times already and it was really funny in an abrupt, "I've had it!" kind of way.

Polina

@liznieve Hey! I am know there are some really cool things about Vegas. That's why people like it, right? Home is home, too. It's just not on my priority list at the moment.

wharrgarbl

@Hellcat I want to do that "chess board on a roller coaster" thing (the Jenga variant) just for this. I will have the best photo album, if I ever get a around to having a photo album.

Jasons_Johnson

*raises hand* I am also of the opinion Las Vegas needs to disappear. Not for any moral reason, but for aesthetics. It's hideous backwards and forwards and is an insult to civil engineering.

Alli525

@Polina Yes thank you! And I get east-coast pressure to go to Atlantic City, too .... WHY?????

Polina

@Jasons_Johnson I know all of humanity is a vampire on our Earth, but there's that whole water issue in Vegas that really freaks me out..

dj pomegranate

@Polina Yea! When I first drove through Vegas on a road trip, this was honestly the first thing I thought about, and I was disgusted with humanity and also Vegas. :(

Tragically Ludicrous

@Polina I went to Vegas for a work thing. I played a Village People slot machine and was fascinated by the places that look like miniature other places (which is kind of a long-running fascination of mine). Therefore, Vegas is OK.

JoanTition

@wharrgarbl I always don't ever want to get married until I'm reminded of things like drive-thru wedding chapels and possibility of time stamped wedding photos.

HurlingTandoori

@Jasons_Johnson I know, right? I mean, that whole Hoover Dam thing? Totally an insult to civil engineering!!

wharrgarbl

@Polina There's that, but at the same time, the casinos have done these ridiculous things that may have set large-scale water-reclamation technology ahead by a couple decades. So that makes me a little less "omgomgomg" about the water situation out there. I'm more worried about the super-rich people who live there and insist on having lush lawns.

@JoanTition I know, right? I'm still a little irked that I had to have a "real" wedding instead. No Elvises were involved at all. Or time stamps! It was a tragedy.

wharrgarbl

@HildyPie It was actually literally conceived of and erected as a giant dickwave at civil engineering. It's a little creepy when you read about the whole project. It's like "Wow, this whole spite-project got out of hand really quickly."

Apparently some of the stages were officially titled things like "Stage One: Invite Civil Engineering to Sit on It" and "Stage Two: Once a Comfortable Seated Position Has Been Achieved, Instruct Civil Engineering to Spin."

lue
lue

@Polina
I've always thought of Vegas as the one place you could count on your 'I've been to' list even if you've only been in the airport. Airport feels exactly like all other buildings there.
BUT, I went several times as a child and thought it was awesome. They have a decent amount of roller coasters, and I went bungee jumping for the first time there when I was 12, and that was a defining moment of my life...
So, fond memories, but no interest in going back.

Hellcat

@lue I do that with Peru. I was in the Lima airport for all of 45 minutes in 2008 but I got a passport stamp for no other reason than I went the wrong way when going to find my connecting flight. Then I went into a bar and Depeche Mode's People Are People was playing, which I found amusing.

weetzie

@Polina I went to Vegas once with my manfriend. We booked a room in a very fancy hotel, and by the end of the night I was VERY VERY DRUNK and crying on the (outrageously posh) hotel bathroom floor. We got in a fight because I wanted to go to a sleazy casino and eat hot dogs, and he thought it was too far away. $2 margaritas available early in the afternoon = a terrible idea.

applestoapples

Read Eat Pray Love.

ejcsanfran

- Couponing
- Encounter a rat king

Katie Scarlett

@ejcsanfran Has there ever, in the history of the internets, been a website that so often mentions rat kings?

Her???

@ejcsanfran I'm so afraid to google 'rat king', but I want to know what it is so baddddd. Someone break it to me gently?

JessicaLovejoy

@Katie Scarlett I've heard that Qream is what happens when you milk a rat king.

Yeah, live with that for a while.

emilylou

@luckylulu NO, THE RAT KING IS HORRIBLE AND IT RUINED MY LIFE. I wish I never found the Hairpin because then I would have never found the Rat King. (okay, that last part isn't true, but really... it's hella gross.)

wharrgarbl

@JessicaLovejoy Oh, god. Had I any inclination to try Qream at all, ever, that right there killed it.

Her???

@emilylouise ok, I'm gonna trust you on this one. Could it be worse than centipede babies in the jacuzzi?

applestoapples

@ejcsanfran And here I thought you were just talking about the Nutcracker. What was Googled cannot be un-.

wharrgarbl

@luckylulu It is a fake thing where you have a bunch of rats stuck together at the tail. But the folklore and the post-mortem constructs are...well, they're not an antelope taxidermied to be driving a car. Let's leave it at that.

emilylou

@luckylulu I personally think it's worse than centipede babies shooting into the Jacuzzi. More of my anti-bucket list:
- sit in Jacuzzi full of bugs
- sit in Jacuzzi full of Rat Kings

@applestoapples I was just complaining about this in another post yesterday, but I went to the Nutcracker this weekend and when the Rat King came out I started thinking about THIS Rat King and I got all nauseous in the theatre. Kind of funny, but kind of horrible.

catwithglasses

@applestoapples Nope, that cannot be ungoogled. Why oh why do I have a compulsive need to google things people tell me not to google?!?

applestoapples

@emilylouise True story: I go see the Nutcracker every year with my family and I actually leave the theater when the Rat King comes on stage.

Hambulance

@applestoapples THEY CROCHETED THEIR TAILS INTO A DOILY ohmygod.

Katie Scarlett

@JessicaLovejoy I'm gonna vom. So gross.

@everyone Jacuzzi centipedes are so so so much worse than rat kings! I never want to encounter that OR that fake Christmas tree full swarming with roaches that was discussed a few weeks back. I'm actually kind of ok with coming across a rat king?

Related: A friend's daughter was walking along a path in her woodsy backyard when she was little and was thumping the fence posts next to her with her hand. Then she got to the last post and when she thumped it, the top broke off and dozens of EARWIGS flew everywhere including in this kid's face and INTO HER MOUTH! Bugs are the worst.

nyikint

@ejcsanfran Maybe you need a rat stick.

wrappedupinbooks

@Katie Scarlett I once read a book that would give the Hairpin a run for its money on the "mentioning of rat kings" front. Back in my YA fiction days I read this book called "Peeps" that had a similar and only vaguely plot-related gross fascination with them. (Don't let the name lead you astray! It's not what you think! It's science fiction!!) Oh, the horror.

Hot Doom

@kmc Ohhhh boy. I googled it like a big dummy. Whhhy? Why why whywhywhy?

applestoapples

@Katie Scarlett You had to go and bring swarming earwigs into the mix. WHY.

Hambulance

@Katie Scarlett But Human centipedes are worse than Jacuzzi centipedes and I don't even know what jacuzzi centipedes are.

whizz_dumb

@LolaLaBalc the rat king images are gross but reading the first few wiki lines caused me to frantically click close-tab and take a deep breath.

applestoapples

@Hambulance (sorry in advance for this)

"New York's hottest club is Squish, dreamed up by nightclub guru Phony Danza. It has everything--rat kings, Qream fountains, and a jacuzzi centipede."
"Ummm...do I want to know what a jacuzzi centipede is?"
"A jacuzzi centipede is that thing where a group of midgets do jazz hands in a hot tub."

/Stefon'd

Trilby

@luckylulu Oh my god- I just did it. It is even more disgusting than you imagine!!!!

Hambulance

@applestoapples You just gave me the best Christmas present ever.

That was amazing.

Thank you.

area@twitter

@applestoapples Have I told you lately that I love you. STEFON. YES.

emilylou

@applestoapples STEFONNNNN I want to be Stefon'd all day, every day, forever. STEFON!

lue
lue

@Katie Scarlett
Earwigs, or 'pincherbugs,' as my family called them, are the worst bugs ever, in the world.
When I was 6 I built an amazing cardboard box fort (it had cabinets, you guys), and the next morning I went out to play in it again and it was FULL of earwigs. I had to go in anyway to get my stuffed animals out of the cabinets! The horror!

Myrtle

@applestoapples YeSSSSSSssssSS to Stefon

Lauren Booth @twitter

@ejcsanfran omgomgomg - just googled the Rat King. Vommed a little in my mouth. This is made all the more graphic by the fact that I slept over at my partner's family's house last night and they have rats in their roof and I could hear them scratching around up there ALL NIGHT.
I asked my partner how he'd slept at all the night before through all the noise and he'd said it hadn't been as noisy. He then theorised that it was noisier on this particular night because they would have eaten the baits up there, and they were so noisy because the poison was working and they were dying, so they were freaking out a lot.
Knowing that I was listening to vermin dying did NOT help me get back to sleep and now I'm so, so traumatised.

rayray

* Go travelling around Thailand/Australia/South America/anywhere else massively cliché
* Witness the miracle of childbirth (my own or anyone else's)

melis

"God, this country is so cliché."

"Miss? Did you want to buy this mango, or not?"

"You don't even realize what a cliché you are right now, do you? Selling fruit from a cart by the side of the road or whatever."

"I don't understand."

"Of course you wouldn't. This whole country is such a fucking cliché. And that head scarf. What even is that? You're already dead and you don't even know it."

rayray

@melis Ahaha! Brill. Really though I have to listen to one more 19-year-old girl talking about what she did on her gap year or wearing a full moon vest at the gym, I will probably SET IT ALL ON FIRE (TM).

melis

@rayray WHAT EVEN IS A FULL MOON VEST
is it like this

rayray

@melis No, that is *clearly* a crescent moon vest.
It's like some party that happens in Thailand, they have like full moon parties, and apparently the done thing is to buy a t shirt there and then wear it at the gym as you prance around flirting with dudebros and doing no exercise. Some would say I have a chip on my shoulder.

melis

@rayray gimme your fingernails

redheaded&crazy

@rayray Girl you don't need that dudebro in your life anyway!

bangs
bangs

@rayray Wait, wearing a vest at a gym?

Faintly Macabre

@Xaxa I see people wearing layers at the gym. Like, long-sleeve shirt under polo shirt. I don't understand.

screwball cate

@rayray having babypeoples come out of my vag is totally on my antibucket list as well, along with the ALMOST A YEAR of pregnancy preceding that. eugh.

bangs
bangs

@Faintly Macabre What? That's crazy. I've been thinking about joining a gym. Sounds amusing.

More battenburg, vicar?

@rayray The chips on my shoulders have been there so long they've left grease stains and I smell vaguely of vinegar.

HoliandIvy

@Faintly Macabre
I think rayray isn't American, and means what we call a 'tank top'.

Polina

@rayray HEY we don't wanna go wherever you're from either!

*Just kidding, the overwhelming majority of us romanticize where you are from and really really want to go to there with all of our being :/

buckachu

@melis ahhh moon vest. I wish everyone knew this so people would stop getting so weirded out when I demand their fingernails.

Lily Rowan

@melis THIS IS TOTALLY RANDOM AND UNRELATED TO ANYTHING, BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THIS? http://heygirlitiskstew.tumblr.com/ I mean, of course you have. DID YOU MAKE IT???

Faintly Macabre

@HoliandIvy Ooohhh! I'll turn in my anglophile card now. But the polo shirts are real! I think some people just don't own real workout clothes--we used to have potential newbies turn up in jeans and sandals for my college athletic team.

rayray

@HoliandIvy Yeah, sorry, I mean tank top. Sorry to cause controversy all over the Hairpin with my Britishness.

shantasybaby

@buckachu You'd think Moon Vest could have at least offered some constructive criticism about the fact that the gold cases would be very heavy.

buckachu

@shantasybaby It would have saved John Mcenroe a lot of time and energy

Marzipan

@buckachu Obvi, he needs to devote his time and energy to his interests in the worlds of art collecting and yelling. "Why isn't there any good art in here? COME ON!"

timesnewroman

@rayray Yesssss I'm probs going to South America next year and whenever someone says "Oooh you're going travelling!" I say "No I am not going 'travelling', I am going on holiday!"

Hellcat

- Climb a mountain.
- Go into space.
- Have a baby.
- Have a stereotypical bachelorette party thrown for me.

More battenburg, vicar?

@Hellcat Oh, I so want to go into space! I watched Contact a gazillion times, getting a vicarious high from seeing Jodie Foster hurtling through worm holes!

dracula's ghost

@Hellcat I said have a baby too! And I considered "go into space" but actually I WOULD DO THAT

Hellcat

@More battenburg, vicar?
@ dracula's ghost

Yeah, my friends disagree with me on this one too... and try to change my mind! I know it sounds silly but there's something about the general aesthetic of it! And spaceships (do we call them that? What are they really called? Oh my goodness...) just seem so boring!

dracula's ghost

@Hellcat But there's also The Overview Effect!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overview_effect

That. IS AWESOME

emilylou

@Hellcat Know what would suck, guys? Having a baby IN SPACE. Or ON A MOUNTAIN. Or on a MOUNTAIN IN SPACE?!
(I, too, really never want to do any of those things. But imagine childbirth in high altitude/zero gravity - extra scary!)

More battenburg, vicar?

@Hellcat Maybe my view has been skewed just a little by Star Trek Voyager? Maybe it isn't all flirting with your First Officer and kicking Borg arse?

ejcsanfran

@emilylouise: Have a baby on Space Mountain at Disney World!

joie

@More battenburg, vicar? Yes, space! I've always had this vague fantasy that if I am ever diagnosed with a terminal illness, I want to kiss and hug my loved ones goodbye and then get in a rocket.

emilylou

@ejcsanfran BAM.
Actually kind of a good idea, maybe the fun and excitement of the ride would distract you from the searing pain and blood/shit/child coming out of you?

bangs
bangs

@Hellcat I'd go into space if I was going somewhere, like the moon or Mars. But to just float around, pass.

melis

@Xaxa Rocket! I'm taking a rocket! I'm packing my suitcase - and look out, moon!

nyikint

@More battenburg, vicar?
Well:
Book your place in space now and join around 430 Virgin Galactic astronauts who will venture into space. Tickets cost $200,000 and deposits start from $20,000.

bangs
bangs

@melis I'd settle for a fake moon background.

sarabara

@Hellcat #1 agreed I AM SO SCARED OF SPACE

Saaoirse

@Hellcat I've always said that if I ever wind up knowing that I'm very likely to die, I'll go to the moon and take my helmet off. Mostly to freak the hell out of some aliens when they find my fossilised corpse. I want to be a moon dinosaur.

Hellcat

@Saaoirse If I knew I was going to die, I would attach my head to many helium balloons, then slice it off with a machete! And pinned to the clothes on the earth-bound rest of me, would be a note saying to put me at that FBI body farm so that future forensic scientists could study me! These are the things I think about when I don't want to do the work I bring home, or the laundry.

CupcakeTattoos

@sarabara Me too! TERRIFIED. DO NOT MAKE ME THINK ABOUT IT OMG. I need to lie down now...

leastimportantperson

Camping or anything that involves trying to sleep not in a bed in a quiet, dark room. <3 u, sleepie.

leastimportantperson

@leastimportantperson Seriously, when they eulogize me, they're going to say, "A good night's sleep was the great love of her life."

ejcsanfran

@leastimportantperson: I was just thinking to myself the other day, "Oh, I wish I could just sleep forever..." Does this mean I'm suicidal? I mean, I don't want to die - just sleep. I suppose as an insomniac, sleep is just so very precious to me.

leastimportantperson

@ejcsanfran I fight waking up on weekend mornings with every inner resource I have. Even though I like being awake on weekends. Sleep is just the best.

wharrgarbl

@ejcsanfran You could try one of those cooling helmets they reviewed in Scientific American Mind back in November.

More battenburg, vicar?

- hear 'music' by Enya ever again
- have a detached retina (eye surgery, when conscious - nooo!)
- jump off high things, climb up high things, generally be more than about 10 feet off the groundwithout being in a building or plane
- go to a conservative party conference
- eat marmite

cherrispryte

@More battenburg, vicar? YOU HUSH ENYA IS AWESOME.

dracula's ghost

@cherrispryte AGREE. Enya is completely badass. No knee-jerk Enya hate!!! Listen to it again and feel the power of LITERALLY FIVE HUNDRED VOCAL TRACKS. She lives in a castle and "Does not have time for boyfriends because there is only music in [her] life."

BADASS

More battenburg, vicar?

@cherrispryte Really?! They used to play her at the place I went to for facials/pampering stuff, I think because it was supposed to be relaxing. Made me want to stab people.

Polina

@dracula's ghost I love her too! Enya RULES.

Cat named Virtute

@More battenburg, vicar? Eye surgery while conscious is pretty alarming. Like, I've had years of eye surgery and needles and health stuff, and none of that fazes me, but the time when I was 19 and they had to zap my eyes with lasers while I was awake (oh god this isn't even the worse part yet), they numbed my eye by rubbing a little topical freezing gel (like the stuff from the dentist that doesn't do much) along the bottom of my lid and then GAVE ME AN INJECTION JUST BELOW MY LASH LINE. Oh god, it might actually be the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

catfoodandhairnets

@More battenburg, vicar? Enya is like fingernails down a blackboard to me. I had to stop going to my coffee bagel place because they kept playing it. And I cannot deal with Enya before 9am. Also I'm Irish. And more than one person has responded to this revealation with "Oh I love Enya!".

noodge

@More battenburg, vicar? I'm with you on the Enya, and also the eye thing - my mom has an eye thing where she needs to get injections IN HER EYEBALL about once a month. bonus: it's hereditary. hopefully they will have found a better cure by the time I get it.

More battenburg, vicar?

@Marika Pea@twitter Bloody hell - you are my hero of the day - 'and none of that fazes me' -just reading it and I am seriously fazed.

EpWs

@Marika Pea@twitter AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MoonBat

@Marika Pea@twitter I had corneal repair surgery while awake/watching and thought it was pretty damned cool, but then at home the anesthesic wore off and OMG HOLY SHIT THE INSANE AGONY (and four of my births were totally anesthesia-free so seriously I know from pain, y'all).

Cat named Virtute

@MoonBat I have not had that one! yikes, that sounds severely unpleasant. MOST of my eye surgery has been under general anesthetic and then I'm hopped up on so much codeine afterward I don't notice much, but yeah, that conscious one was a doozy. Hope your corneas are stayin' healthy!

Bebe

@More battenburg, vicar? Listening to Enya makes me want to detach my own retina and jump off something high into the marmite-eating crowd at a conservative convention. Blergh.

MoonBat

@Marika Pea@twitter Thank you! Yep, it was an injury repair, and I've had no issues since!

Alice Prin

@More battenburg, vicar? Oh, no. No, I do not believe we are having this eye surgery discussion during salami sandwich time. GIRLS.

Alice Prin

@Alice Prin I said that in my Mrs. Garrett voice, by the way. "GIR-RUR-RURRLLLS!"

More battenburg, vicar?

@Bebe Exactly. I'm just off to shove some marmite in my eyes.

More battenburg, vicar?

@Alice Prin Sorry! I'm in the UK so it's been beverage time for a number of hours - no salami in sight!

emilylou

- Summit a mountain. Sorry, I just KNOW I'd be one of those people who mysteriously disappears and is found crushed in an avalanche the next spring.

- Live "off the grid" ... there's no TV when you're off the grid! Ick.

- Go into space. OR go into the deep sea, SCUBA/submarine style. 100% guarantee I'd have a claustrophobic panic attack and then die.

- Yeah, skydiving, basejumping, etc. No.

- Get cosmetic surgery/botox

paddlepickle

@emilylouise Beat me to it! I was about to say "summit any mountain that does not have a ski lift"

dracula's ghost

@emilylouise I grew up off the grid and it was okay! We rode a horse around and built forts. HOWEVER we also had to go to the bathroom outside because we had no plumbing. "You gotta give a little, take a little, and let your poor heart break a little! That's the story of living off the grid"

dj pomegranate

@emilylouise I tried SCUBA once and went like 5 feet under the water and was so sure I was going to die from drowning/pressure/BEING UNDER THE WATER. I feel no need to do it again ever.

emilylou

@paddlepickle Word. I don't even ever want to ski or snowboard. I suck. Sorry, everyone. And sorry, northwest Washington, beautiful land of mountains in which I reside.

@dracula's ghost You did?? Wow. I don't think I'd be strong enough. I do like the part about riding around on a horse!

dracula's ghost

@emilylouise You just get used to it, like anything. It was kind of awesome. We also didn't have a phone.

I was not very popular in middle school

Hellcat

@emilylouise YES! Another "go into space"! Yay!

paddlepickle

@emilylouise Oh, I don't want to ski or snowboard either, I just like riding on the lift up the mountain.

emilylou

@paddlepickle I'm even afraid of the lift. How do you get off?! I would be too scared to jump, then would just go round & round forever, until they found my frozen remains the next morning. Ugh, I don't even like snow. I'm a horrible person who needs to move to the Bahamas or something.

@dj pomegranate YEP that's exactly what I'm afraid of. I'm really claustrophobic and don't even like having my head under water unless it's in a pool. I almost drowned in a river a few years ago :( and now I am ~haunted forever by the experience~ and have no desire to face my fears.

@Hellcat YES. I just commented on you! Let's stay on Earth forever!

Hellcat

@emilylouise You can stay down here with me and fight the zombies. A few years ago, at a Halloween party, we all somehow got in to a "During a zombie apocalypse, would you rather...?" in which the choices were A) stay here and try your luck, or B) board a spaceship and leave.

Apparently, I'd be right here... alone and friendless! (OK, maybe I would actually have to go if all the people I know were going).

noodge

@emilylouise hey, I lived off the grid as a child, and we had TV! it was unreliably powered by a windmill, but still!

beanie

@emilylouise I went scuba diving-and almost died because I am a huge idiot. And by almost died I mean I got down 15 ft under, forgot how to clear my googles, cleared them and got water in my mask, freaked out, and tried to swim to the surface as fast as I could while my instructor tried to hold me under and calm me down. I then kicked said instructor and swam to the top (which is not the smartest thing because I was down so far, blah blah). I never want to scuba again even though I went back down after that and it was fun.

emilylou

@teenie Really? A windmill-powered TV?? I'm 100% intrigued/impressed, I guess I'm pretty ignorant. Now I feel bad flippantly saying I never want to live off the grid, I did not mean it as a diss to those of you who experienced it! (Still not sure if I could ever do it, though.)

PistolPackinMama

@emilylouise I think you are allowed all the floatation devices, ever. By which I mean, allowed to stay on dry land always. (So maybe not the Bahamas? Being islands and all. How about New Mexico?)

Faintly Macabre

@emilylouise The one time I tried to downhill ski, I tried to get off the little lift 1/3 of the way up the mountain because I'm a wise wimp. I slid backwards and knocked multiple people off the lift, including possibly my instructor from the day before. (I've blocked most of that day out.) Cross-country skiing is fine by me, though.

noodge

@emilylouise haha, don't feel bad - back in the late 70's to late 80's, the technology still kinda sucked (ask me about the blizzard that killed our windmill, and also destroyed our "back up" connection to the grid, so there was no fan to force the air from our furnace, so we lived in the same room for 4 days to maximize heat through body warmth. awesome) but now especially, the technology is there to live off the grid and have much more reliable television access, although - cable? yeah, we never had that. just antenna stuff, which I don't know if you can do anymore.

emilylou

@AnthroK8 Dry land: The ULTIMATE flotation device! Actually, something on my real bucket list (if I were to make a bucket list, which I have not) is to live for a significant period of time in the Southwestern US, so I think you might be onto something.

laurel

@emilylouise It's nice and boring here in NM. It helps if you're easily entertained. But, very few bodies of water, so it has that going for it.

JessicaLovejoy

@emilylouise Have you considered becoming a brown person? I'm one, and as such, it is naturally assumed that I will not ski or snowboard.

Go. me.

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

@JessicaLovejoy You've never been to Big Bear, I guess.

dracula's ghost

Michael Ian Black made a list like this too, and I think his title is very brilliant: "The Fuck-It List." His items include "learn about birds" and "woodworking."

But in any case: the Fuck-it List! BECAUSE IT RHYMES WITH "BUCKET"!!!! DO YOU GET IT

Mine:

- have a baby
- do drugs beyond weed
- read Ulysses
- touch a dolphin's butt (would still do this, just won't seek out an opportunity to do so)

emilylou

@dracula's ghost I love Michael Ian Black! He's one of my favorite comedians ever and I think he's hilarious live, pretty sure I've seen him talk about the Fuck-It List before.

Decca

@dracula's ghost I would, however, let a dolphin touch my butt.

dracula's ghost

@ejcsanfran NOOOO not the dolphins!!

I would let a dolphin go to the bathroom on me, that's fine, my nice sea brother

Decca

@dracula's ghost Oh, and not to be That Person, but Ulysses - or, at least, chapters of it - are really worth your time and not too difficult to read!

travelmugs

-Visit Australia ever. (Spiders, man!)
-Participate in any sort of 5k/marathon race that combines my least favorite things: running and asking people for money
-sing in front of people (non-karaoke)

samafaye

@travelmugs GOLDEN ORB SPIDERS THAT EAT BIRDS

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/3353693/Giant-spider-eating-a-bird-caught-on-camera.html

bitzyboozer

@travelmugs Also box jellyfish, aka the most terrifying thing in the world (to me). They only grow to 30 cm wide and contain enough venom to kill 3 adults! Warning: this link has a very sad-making picture ---> http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/apr/27/box-jellyfish-stings-australian-girl-survives

shantasybaby

@bitzyboozer I saw a show about them once and it was so horrific! They people got stung and just writhed in pain for days and there was nothing the doctors could do, it looked so terrible!

Alissa

@travelmugs muhahaha we lure you with our beaches and sunshine and universal healthcare and then BAM! funnel web spiders. orrr red back spiders. orrr deadly stingrays. to be real though, I'm a born and raised Sydneysider and although I've had many encounters with all of these animals, none of them have been fatal/I have never actually been bitten. KNOCK ON WOOD.

@samafaye thats hilarious because golden orb spiders are seen to be the most benign, serene spiders ever - we have heaps in our garden and they just sit in their webs looking pretty, they would never hurt you!! i promise!!

everyone come to australia y'all! it's worth the brushes with deadly creatures!

samafaye

@Alissa HEAPS. heaps. but.....are they really that big? i'm sure that they are peace loving creatures (god knows i would never take one on...or make direct eye contact....) but the size is what really has me in a tizzy. a downright tizzy.

heb
heb

- Go back to school

BadWolf

@heb Dude, don't do it. It is AWFUL. I am going to celebrate the end of finals tonight by working on my God Damn Fucking Bastard thesis.

More battenburg, vicar?

@heb I did it! I went back to school (I'm 47 and in the last year of my PhD). On the one hand, all the other students are half my age and twice as bright; on the other, I haven't earned any money for 4 years.
No, seriously though, most of the time I love it, despite the above. And it's a lot more fun than managing National Health Service mental health services.

HeyThatsMyBike

@BadWolf OMG ME TOO!!! I hate my life! If you go through my timeline of comments you can pinpoint all the days that I'm supposed to be writing all day long and instead comment 42304275643 times. Today is one of those days!

EpWs

@BadWolf @HeyThatsMyBike ME TOO. I took one day off between finals and commencing with my God Damn Fucking Bastard Thesis (GDFBT?), and used that day to make a gold-star-progress-chart to facilitate the writing of said GDFBT. I should be writing that thing now. Back to work?

BadWolf

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Suffering Grad Students unite! Honey, I am not even sure I know what "work" is anymore. This morning, I read a book about early Anglo-Saxon buckets...called, appropriately, "Early Anglo-Saxon Buckets." Not kidding. ‎"Is there a functional difference between buckets with and without handles? Buckets held half to one pint: did you take your own bucket to a feast? Do later buckets reflect social change in any way? Buckets in literature: Are buckets mentioned? If so, does this throw any light on their use?" And this is my life.

HeyThatsMyBike

@BadWolf Appropriate that you are posting this on a reverse bucket list post.
Yesterday, like you, Everpresent Wordsnatcher, I made a list of what's left to do on my GDFBT (I'm writing my proposal), and then proceeded to write two paragraphs, which DID get me to the next page on MS Word, so I felt accomplished. Then I watched Animal Cops for two hours. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MEEEEEEEE

EpWs

@BadWolf Apropos of your comment downthread about not being interested in architecture: I'm getting my master's in Historic Preservation (Old buildings! Yay!), which is boring but I love it. I feel your pain. Also, an entire BOOK about Early Anglo-Saxon Buckets??? I did not realize there were that many things to write about Early Anglo-Saxon Buckets. It makes this thesis seem much less daunting.

Hot Doom

@HeyThatsMyBike I think I have commented like 5 times on this thread alone, to avoid writing anything for my term papers. My system of work or study is for each paragraph I write, or one page I read, I allow myself a procrastination comment on here.

BadWolf

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher ZOMG ME TOO! WHERE??? WHAT IS YOUR THESIS/HAVE WE MET? I do historic site interpretation (hence the steamboat!), because all I want is to work in a house museum; architects been trying to kill my soul for two years! (I am so excited there is another HPer on here, I am doing a tiny, silent jig in the library, while I read about zoomorphic medieval ewers!)

EpWs

@BadWolf AAAAAAAH! UNIVERSITY OF KENTUCKY! GAS STATION REUSE! I WANT US TO MEET NOW! I took an architectural history class last semester and it was half full of architecture students and they drive me up a wall. And I'm related to one (an actual architect, not a student--students are worse) so I should know how to deal with them.
(I'm kind of alarmingly excited here!)

rabswom

@BadWolf Oh, can I be friends too? PhD student in medieval Islamic history here. Writing the dissertation and kind of sad about it a lot of the time. Hairpin is my savior.

BadWolf

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher AAAH SO COOL I WANT US TO MEET NOW TOO! I am at Columbia, though, which is far from Kentucky and thus is crap, but I hear great things about your program, and yay adaptive reuse! I love that stuff, I just don't want to be personally responsible for making it happen, I would rather play with historic tea kettles and take Civil War rifles apart. HOORAY! We obviously have to go to the next National Trust conference and get hammered and talk about how architecture students are The Worst For Reals!

Oh, my goodness, I want to ask you all about gas stations now! Like the awesome chrome and enamel pumps and all that? Swoon. How cool are you!

BadWolf

@rabswom YES! Come join the No Drumming circle, we will give you coffee with booze in it! I had to read about the non-use of metals in c16 Turkey today (after I read about the buckets), and feel you, I do.

EpWs

@BadWolf PINUP AT THE NATIONAL TRUST CONFERENCE. This needs to happen in ALL THE WAYS. Also I have heard fantastic things about your program too. Ours is kind of a mess of crazy right now, but we're working on it. Either way, I'm done at the end of spring semester.

Also, I work with a pile of archaeologists who looooove them some Civil War coffin fittings. I feel like you would like them.
Also also: there is a FREAKISHLY CUTE gas station about an hour away from me and it's all curved corners and enamel and glass and I want itttttt.

Are you doing your thesis on steamboats? Because UH AWESOME.

rabswom

@BadWolf Ha! Kahlua and coffee is my go-to writing beverage. :)

[I haven't done any work today, but I was up until 4am reading a 10th century Arabic text. Still, I kinda need to get at least a little bit of work done. Will probably take a nap instead.]

BadWolf

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher YES I WANT THE CIVIL WAR COFFIN STUFF OMG. That is terribly cool! Obviously, PinupTheTrust is happening now. I am done at the end of spring term, too, but only if I finish my GDFBT---I wish it were about steamboats! Or a ship in general; nautical history is one of my jams. But that was just the term project for my interpretation class: concoct interpretation for specific publics of a 1930s lighthouse tender currently docked off a pier in Tribeca. My thesis is about a really neglected Jewish cemetery in Queens, and proposing a new narrative for the site in order to make preservation efforts seem relevant, because they don't at the moment; it's become this "lost" site, very fetishized for its "forgotten-ness" and badly mistreated.

What are you saying about darling old gas stations? I am so excited for your topic! (I am sorry, too, if I disappear; I turned in my last paper of the semester just now, and am thinking I might take the night off. Thesis has waited about three weeks, it can wait a little longer...till I have had ALL the drinks...)

EpWs

@BadWolf PinupTheTrust. Happening. It's in Spokane next year (still KICKING myself that I missed the Austin one, and the Buffalo one was not in the cards this year) so party in the Northwest? There have to be some pinners there, right?

Your thesis sounds like the shiz, cemeteries are awesome. (Again, working next to archaeologists=I am learning so many things!) And I'm kind of jealous that you're focusing on a single site--doing a building type is turning out to be A Daunting Task.

I am saying that gas stations are (a) awesome, because (b) they basically made roads and travel and such possible, so (c) adaptive reuse is a viable preservation tactic for them because they are small and fantastic and conveniently located and have built-in parking and are up to their ears in character. I have seen them made into about a bajillion things, including high-end restaurants and churches, whaaat? So I'm making a guide for dealing with them, as they have special issues and there's pretty much nothing out there helping with them.

ANYWAY. Yes, take the night off! I'm looking forward to ALL the drinks as well. I took Wednesday off (turned in my last paper/did my last presentation on Tuesday) and then got cracking on this thing today.

Also, once you get going on your thesis? Make a progress chart, get yourself some gold star stickers, and put incentives on there. I've got two more pages to write and then I get my first cash prize. It's working nicely...mostly because the gold stars are SHINY and SPARKLY and I am whoa enjoying sticking them up there.

bashe

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher If it's any comfort, that's exactly my strategy for grading term papers and exams.

EpWs

@bashe Yay! I am beginning to think that gold stars are the secret to a productive adult life.

missvancity

-live in a tiny house. I can feel the tiny house closing in on my lungs!

JessicaLovejoy

@missvancity No, it's in your lungs. You inhaled it.

bangs
bangs

@missvancity You sure? I was browsing the MLS listings yesterday and there is a tiny house for sale in Coal Harbour!

missvancity

@Xaxa Oh god, Coal Harbour, how much is it? ONE MEEEEEELLION DOLLARS??

bangs
bangs

@missvancity $299,000 I kind of want it:
http://www.realtor.ca/propertyDetails.aspx?propertyId=11283408&PidKey=740911578

missvancity

@Xaxa Does 600 sf count as a tiny house? I live in 600 sf now and consider it to be very spacious!

bangs
bangs

@missvancity it certainly is bigger than the condos downtown. But small for a house? The bedroom looks a bit squishy. Still I want it.

missvancity

@missvancity I guess so. My mum lives in an 800 sf house, but it has two bedrooms and 1.5 baths. And god, downtown condos are ridiculous. 450 square feet is fine if it's a bachelor, but it is not enough space for a 1 bed + den! I wonder what the ceiling height is in the bedroom?

bangs
bangs

@missvancity Yeah, I've been looking at condos and everything downtown looks insane. Commercial looks okay though? I haven't researched this too thoroughly.

missvancity

@Xaxa Between Commercial and Main (around Fraser) is actually quite affordable, or at least it was when I was looking, about two years ago. The West End is surprisingly cheap, until you factor in the crazy high strata fees. But your money doesn't go far in most of downtown, it's true.

bangs
bangs

@missvancity it's still pretty good around there. For Vancouver anyway :) I live in the West End now, and kind of don't want to buy here.

missvancity

@Xaxa Fair enough! When I first moved here I had this sort of romanticized picture in my head of living in the West End and then I realized I'd have to drive over two bridges every day, morning and night, and almost killed myself.

PistolPackinMama

Get down to my ideal weight through a process of virtuous self torture, denial, and restriction.

Buy Louboutins

julia

@AnthroK8 Asceticism is a virtue. Self-bio-discipline that shit!

BadWolf

OH! I forgot: Be interested in architecture. Even feign an interest in architecture. NO.

Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook

@BadWolf It is damn near impossible. I work in an architecture firm and I have a hard time doing it.

BadWolf

@Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook Oh, god, you poor thing. Even the "Tiny House" posts give me the twitches.

Speaking of cake, I have cake

YOU WATCHED SEX AND LUCIA WITH YOUR PARENTS?!?!??!?!???!
OhgodOhgodOhgodOhgodOhgodOhgod
I got blushy and uncomfortable watching that ON MY OWN
Great movie though!

joie

@skyandgorse the weird slo-mo erection!!! ahhhh! I don't think my relationship with my parents would survive that experience.

hedgehog

@skyandgorse also to avoid: Almodovar. In my case "High Heels." BAD IDEA.

insouciantlover

@heyits haha, was that the muddy erection?

Also when I studied in Spain a teacher showed that movie in class. I was like, wow, this is totally European of you.

joie

@insouciantlover Yes! Doesn't it seem so very...unsanitary? Perhaps that's very American of me to say.

MissArgentina

@skyandgorse I watched Bad Education with my parents. The first ten minutes is a blow job! I immediately turned it off while my parents giggled and called me a prude.
- from a girl who still believes the stork brought her to her parents and that's how she was born. True Story

wharrgarbl

-Anything involving snow and/or ice. Millions of people move closer to the equator every day in order to avoid this stuff. Why on earth would anyone ever want to go play in it?

oh, disaster

- Actually living like I was dying and other country song cliches.
- Teaching, especially to teenagers.
- Anything X-treme, be it sports or beverages.

melis

I always live like I'm dying, that's why I take this morphine drip with me wherever I'm going, weigh 80 pounds, wheeze in a ghastly and horrifying fashion with every breath, and stare at everyone with hollow, vacant eyes that seem to say: "What will become of me?"

Mingus_Thurber

@melis Is there anything to say to this besides, "BWAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!"?

I think there is not.

emilylou

@andrea disaster Wait, what is your stance on Gatorade?

Decca

@melis ...Ruth Bader Ginsburg?

oh, disaster

@emilylouise Too many electrolytes. Also, kidney stones.

automaticdoor

@Decca Don't make fun of my beloved RBG. *narrow eyes*

Decca

@automaticdoor No, no I wasn't! I am a big fan of Justice Bader Ginsburg! Although I picked David Souter in the game of "Who's your favourite Supreme Court Justice" I failed to get going in the other thread, RBG is really tied with him for first.

sox
sox

I never thought I'd go to Vegas with my girls, but one especially special one wanted to go for her bachelorette this past Halloween weekend and actually it wasn't so bad! But my bff and I agreed that if we ever went again it would be for one night only: arrive early enough to lay by the pool for awhile, go out to dinner off the strip to something highly recommended, then go see as many shows as possible back to back, party at a club, go to bed at sunrise, wake up before checkout time and fly back home. Because the second night the suspension of disbelief has worn off and you remember that others are camping out at Occupy Wall Street for your rights while you are being shoved in line to buy a $15 well drink. Also stay at Vdarra - it's new and there's no casino or smoking in the lobby area. And it's LEED certified to be greenish.

My list:
-get over my fear of snakes (I'm so afraid of them that I'm afraid to not be afraid.)
-eat an oyster

Hellcat

@sox Right there with you on the snakes. I see NO GOOD REASON to make myself not be afraid of them!

liznieve

@sox Also, Vegas protip (for those who can afford it): The "secret" Four Seasons tucked in a corner of the Mandalay Bay. They have their own (very civilized) lobby and entrance, it's on a smaller scale, and is certainly lovely. No casino. When you do want a dose, you pass through an unmarked communicating door between the Four Seasons and Mandalay Bay lobbies. It is amazing.

Alixana

@sox Vdarra might be ok, but avoid its next-door neighbor, Aria -- where I checked in and went to go to bed well after midnight, and found BLOOD ON THE SHEETS. Never again, Vegas, never again.

catfoodandhairnets

Be famous. Not even for 15 minutes.
Run for office. Not even for the school board.

travelmugs

-Curate a popular mommyblog
-Go on a cruise
-Get a PhD

catfoodandhairnets

@travelmugs Oh god, the cruise. I have had many nightmares about being on a cruise.

EpWs

@catfoodandhairnets Seriously, cruises as an idea are terrifying. Have these people never seen Titanic? Also, you are STUCK WITH HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE FOR A WEEK. *shudders*

Hellcat

@travelmugs For some reason, I get annoyed when people refer to themselves as a "mommy." Is this mean of me? It feels mean but it also feels right.

catfoodandhairnets

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher. AND you have to make polite conversation with random people and dress for dinner. And they make you eat every 4 hours. And the long windowless corridors and tiny rooms that are below sea level. And the whimsical towel creatures on your bed. And the bewildering number of people to tip.

dracula's ghost

@catfoodandhairnets

I have a PhD
I have been on a cruise
The PhD was more fun

I would rather die than run a mommyblog

Faintly Macabre

@catfoodandhairnets I went on a cruise with my extended family when I was 10 and it was fun! Because no one really expects 10 year olds to socialize or look good in a bathing suit, there's unlimited soft-serve, and you're not paying for it. The downside: not being allowed to go to the midnight buffet, which was FULL of cake. I still bitch at my parents for that.

EpWs

@Hellcat I'm with you on that one. However: better or worse than someone referring to themselves as a "mother"?

catfoodandhairnets

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher And that's before you even get started on the entertainment. Showtunes sung by broadway rejects. So much piano muzack. Pool games. Also they have people whose job it is to make you JOIN IN with things.

Hellcat

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher "Mother" is fine with me. But "mommy" seems... like... cloying or something. I can't explain the feeling it gives me, but I get it every time I read a user name like "[Some Kid's] Mommy" online. I for one would have been very annoyed at my own mom for doing that (had here been an internet then and/or had I a mom who could figure out how to make a user name of any kind). And I recall feeling the same way about some morning show (?) geared for women called "The Mommies." I swear this was a real thing...

EpWs

@catfoodandhairnets Dressing for dinner? Tipping everyone? PARTICIPATION? Fuck that shit.
Is there a cruise where I can just...sit around drunk for a week?

teebs

@travelmugs I have been on 3 cruises because my family loves cruises. I HATE CRUISES. You are basically a cow on a boat being led from one feeding trough to the next and ugh I hate it.

Although, the one in Alaska was worth it. So beautiful and lots of whales. Much less of a party vibe than the Caribbean cruises.

Saiko

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Yeah but that's like, what they are. Mothers.

catfoodandhairnets

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher. Also mass outbreaks of food poisoning and Norwalk virus. I CANNOT STOP.

Yes, every other vacation apart from a cruise lets you sit around drunk for a week! And you don't even have to be on a boat!

Bebe

@teebs The only cruise I have ever (or will ever) go on was to Alaska! It was totally amazing, and probably the only way I would ever have gone to/seen Alaska. HOWEVER. The other people sucked. My sister walks with a cane, and she was hip-checked at the buffet, shoved TWICE on the little boats that took us to shore, and routinely had people behind her at the buffets huffing and puffing with impatience because she was too slow. Seriously, they were rudest assholes I have ever seen.

teebs

@Bebe Wow what a bunch of assholes! I really hate being forced to vacation with other people, which is what a cruise is.

Alaska really was lovely, and I agree it's probably the only way I could have gone.

Maria

@catfoodandhairnets I kind of love the towel creatures. But you can get them at some hotels too, of the non-floating variety.

SuperGogo

@travelmugs Don't forget the hundreds of people who just go missing from cruises! I mean.....just.....cbeyflgwieuw

And believe me, those cruise lines are not going to level with you if god forbid it happens to your loved one.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2040248/Why-165-people-gone-missing-cruise-ships-recent-years.html

Decca

@SuperGogo Jon Ronson wrote about this phenomenon!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/nov/11/rebecca-coriam-lost-at-sea

Knows The Spanish Panic

@catfoodandhairnets Wait, eating every four hours is a bad thing? I...I have been living lie.

bashe

@Hellcat It's the people who call themselves "dog mothers" that I worry about. That dog HAS a mother, and it's sure as shit not you, lady.

Hellcat

@bashe I feel like I might be semi-guilty of this, as I refer to the cat as "my baby" and sometimes I tell her she's being a mean daughter. And sometimes when my BF is trying to pet her, I'll hear him say, "Oh, excuse me, I guess you want your mom." I also swear that my late cat was yowling, "Mom?" in the middle of the night.

bashe

@Hellcat No worries! CATS ARE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT THING.

Hellcat

@bashe Oh good. I'm not sure she knows much about her actual mom anyway -- she came from a cat hoarder's house!

EpWs

@SuperGogo WHAT? Now I'm for serious never getting on a cruiseboat ever.

Mary McKenna@facebook

This is awesome.

Also, daunting. With a bucket list, you've narrowed down the things you want to do before you die. Formulating my own fuckit list just makes me think that I want to do pretty much everything BUT travel and get a tattoo.

D.@twitter

@Mary McKenna@facebook A fuckit list, yes! I've never heard that before. Awesome. :))

Maria

@Mary McKenna@facebook I am going to keep my fuck-it list next to my fuck-it bucket.

17th Floor

@Mary McKenna@facebook I have to reply, because for amount five seconds I was like, MOM??? And then I realized that my mom is not on the HP, because whilst cool and awesome, she is not blonde.

But seriously, tattoos are awesome. I waited for three years and got one, and don't regret it. Although, occasionally it itches, but I am allergic to everything (fact!), so this is normal for me.

applestoapples

Also, you can tell you don't really want to go to Vegas, because you incorrectly used "my girls" instead of the preferred "muh gurlies!!!!!!! <3 <3"

MissArgentina

@applestoapples or "the girls"

Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook

-Get married
-Have children
-Care for a sick relative
-Eat tapioca

automaticdoor

@Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook TAPIOCA. It is so gross. Bubble tea! It has balls of tapioca in it! WHAT IS THAT.

Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook

@Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook Oh god, I don't even. Let's just not talk about it, OK? Let's pretend it doesn't exist. In my mind, tapioca is made of the white stuff that gathers in the corners of professor/preacher mouths.

femme cassidy

Guys! Why all the hate for skydiving? Skydiving is THE MOST FUN.

bangs
bangs

@femme cassidy I want to do it! I paraglided once and it was so much fun!

HoliandIvy

@femme cassidy
And snowboarding! SUCH joy.

Maria

@femme cassidy Personally because I would be too worried I'd offend the pilot for jumping out of his/her perfectly good, well-flown airplane. I just can't kick Miss Manners out of my head. What are you gonna do, eh?
No idea why all these other people don't want to do it. I'm sure it's the best.

femme cassidy

@Maria That's the best reason I've ever heard. My dad is a pilot and was in the Air Force, and when I told him I wanted to go skydiving, his response was "Why would somebody jump out of a perfectly good plane???"

feartie

@femme cassidy I had a neighbour who nearly broke her leg after her primary parachute did not deploy. Also met a man who went on to commit suicide by packing his on chute with the strings all cut.

But I probably still try it if I ever had the money.

EDIT: total threadjack, but I wanted to let you know I'm getting Humanimals for Christmas, and that it's sparked a massive experimental fiction/just plain good books reading challenge for 2012, which I'm going to blog all about.

shantasybaby

@femme cassidy I'm just not a someone who gets off on that kind of thing- roller coasters are too much for me. The sensation of being out of control/in free fall like that either works for you or it doesn't- it would cause me to shit myself.

femme cassidy

@feartie Yayyy! I fully want to read that blog. I just read Schizophrene and it was gorgeous.

feartie

@femme cassidy schietree.wordpress.com if you are interested - although Humanimals won't be read until the new year, I'm asking for suggestions for all the awesome books ever.

gfrancie

-eat those really hot peppers that put people in the hospital
-do a triathlon
-be on Oprah
-run a marathon of any kind. Even for charity
-write a book about how people in a developing nation taught me something.
-eat at olive garden

dracula's ghost

@gfrancie
"write a book about how people in a developing nation taught me something."

LOLOLOL

wharrgarbl

@dracula's ghost What I want to read are books by people in developing nations about when they went to America as a student and learned Life Lessons ("The Best Time My Roommate Maced a Man Over a Toy").

gfrancie

@dracula's ghost A lot of those books have such a lady bountiful edge to them. With a touch of magical noble savage/minority.

Decca

- Sit backwards on a chair wearing a leather jacket

leastimportantperson

@Decca This is now on my non-reversed bucket list.

Decca

@applestoapples Re-enacting this video is my party piece when I'm drunk.

MoonBat

@Decca Sit backwards on a jizzcliner wearing leather chaps.

angelinha

@MoonBat Being sat backwards on is how the 'cliner got jizzed in the first place!

In related news, at first glance I thought that #2 said "Marry into a jizz legacy."

thebestjasmine

Go to Burning Man.

wharrgarbl

@thebestjasmine It looks like it might be fun for about six hours, apart from the whole "in the middle of the fucking desert surrounded by hippies" thing.

candybeans

@thebestjasmine this this this this ahhhhh think of the hippies! and the SMELLS!

Hambulance

@thebestjasmine But that's where you could:

- Meet/become your spirit animal
- Dance barefoot in the mud(?) of other hippies
- Have a really bad trip

I went to Bonarro ONCE and the mud was so bad that it caked over my sandals and once dry, proceeded to SLICE the skin between my toes. So there's also:

- Sepsis

Hot Doom

@candybeans Thank God I'm not the only one who feels this way. I can only think of dirty hippies and smelly smells and sweaty, greasy people with dreadlocks EVERYWHERE.

wharrgarbl

@Hambulance The ground in the Black Rock Desert is so alkaline that it will burn your feet if you go without shoes. I don't think it really gets muddy, but it will still mess your feet up.

thebestjasmine

@all of you: Yes. Yes. These are all of the reasons.

insouciantlover

@LolaLaBalc Honestly, the dust sucks the sweat off of your body. It's really alkaline and will fuck up your clothes and skin and hair, so I'm not trying to claim that it ISN'T disgusting, but it's a different kind of disgusting.

I'm not trying to convert anyone. I've been four different times and don't think I'd ever do it again because I've learned that for the money spent I could have a damn good time somewhere else - preferably somewhere with running water.

Oh and I hate that I know this but it has rained a few years and that mud gets incredibly mucky. But it's much less common than the 60 mph wind storms.

insouciantlover

@insouciantlover DON'T JUDGE ME I HAVE SPENT MOST OF MY LIFE IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

Hambulance

@wharrgarbl @insouciantlover Even better!

Faintly Macabre

Cut all sugar and animal fat out of my diet.

Give up my dependence on caffeine.

Have kids and live peacefully in the suburbs for 20 years.

tea for all

@Faintly Macabre "peacefully"

dracula's ghost

MURDER SOMEONE

teebs

Yes, master.

burn them. burn them all!!

catfoodandhairnets

@dracula's ghost But I want to do this every day.

teaandcakeordeath

Eat any sort of deep fried cockroach, maggot or bug.
It will not making me a more adventurous person, it will make me a vomiting person.

D.@twitter

@teaandcakeordeath So what I'm getting from this is...it's okay if it's not fried?

teaandcakeordeath

@D.@twitter
It cant be bad if it's ORGANIC!

D.@twitter

~Have a wedding.
I mean, I want to get married, I just want to do it quietly, in a courthouse, and get on w/ the honeymoon. All the expense, all the planning, all the stress...the thought just sort of makes me vaguely nauseated.

whizz_dumb

@D.@twitter *call me

ba-na-nas

@D.@twitter This! I had a nightmare just last night about having a wedding.

bashe

@D.@twitter Oh yes. We had civil service in offices located in shopping mall, then we eloped to former East Germany. It was awesome.

Decca

-Successfully learn the entire Thriller dance.
-Stop loving the Cha Cha Slide.

Hellcat

@Decca These things... I can't. I am laughing (and identifying with) too much!

Saiko

Kisses for the Vegas item.

whizz_dumb

- Say "I don't even own a TV" at a cocktail party that just fell silent.

Wait that'd be fun in a sarcastic messing-with-people way.

sarabara

- pose for a photo holding a child of a different race in a foreign country
- physically work in a cubicle (although I'm at a desk right now lolololol, halfway there)
- feel guilty or dumb about literally watching the entire catalog of MTV shows available on their website
- GIVE BIRTH, SO SCARY

travelmugs

@sarabara Have you seen the blog "I Studied Abroad in Africa!!!"
http://gurlgoestoafrica.tumblr.com/

jilt

-Stay in a hostel
-Eat the Nation's Largest pizza/burger/cheesesteak
-"shop 'til I drop"
-punkin chunkin
-Ditto on the marathons

absofreakinglutely

Call me a crazy hippie tree-hugger, but being alone in nature is one of the best ways I regain my sanity. Curse this evil Daylight Savings Time! It ruins my post-work hikes for a solid 4 months. (Yes I've tried hiking in the dark and yes I thought I broke both of my ankles and was going to get eaten alive/get raped. So no mo' of that.)
But fuck Vegas. Fuck that place.

whizz_dumb

@absofreakinglutely Nature: Helluva thing.

teebs

-Pose for a pregnancy photo with my male life partner looking lovingly at my belly/kissing my belly/ cradling my belly.
-Eat foie gras
-Stop cuddling my cats

Polina

- Take up "crafting"
- Sing karaoke
- Eat duck again
- See a freak accident

area@twitter

-Sit through a Dave Chappelle live performance between my parents (again).
-Say to a loved one, "Does this make my butt/stomach/arms/whatever look big?"
-Think a kid is being cute and rambunctious when s/he is running around and shrieking like a banshee.
-Midnight shop on Black Friday. NOPE

17th Floor

@area@twitter ZOMG! Yes, and midnight shop at Black Friday. Nothing makes me more disgusted with humanity than seeing hundreds of people pouring into an Urban Outfitters like it was THEIR.ONLY.CHOICE. Zombies should have been following them, and then I would have been like, yes valid. Good.

z(oo)mm

-Drive down the highway towing a boat or other very large object.

17th Floor

- have baby shower/wedding shower/any sort of shower besides one comprised of water. I'll buy my own shit people. I got taste.
- go to China. Don't get me wrong, I think there would be some amazing sites, but all that smog! I sneeze 20 times when I wake up every morning already. I'D PROBABLY DIE.
-become a "foodie"

punkahontas

@17th Floor But when you have a shower, you register for what you want and other people buy it for you. I'm not saying they don't suck though, because you still have to open gifts while people watch you. That's why they invented "naked showers" where you bring your gift not-wrapped. They also have "co-ed showers" which have the men invited too, so it's less pressure on you. BUT...

I think if you had a "co-ed naked shower" you could basically just have a regular party where people bring you stuff that you picked out yourself. Plus, a funny invitation.

punkahontas

Every year, the NY Marathon makes me think of things I don't want to do, ever.

1. Run a Marathon
2. Be mauled by an animal

kayjay

1) Scrapbooking.
2) Attend anything with the words "Goddess" and "Festival" in the title.

teebs

@kayjay
I hear they serve a really empowering quinoa soy loaf at the Scrapbooking Goddess Festival!

kayjay

@teebs Oddly, I do get excited about quinoa loaves, but the rest of that...no no one-thousand times no.

Meagain

*Live in a town without a major league baseball team
*Live anywhere where the average temp is below 50 or above 75
* Jump over anything via skateboard, motorcycle, car, bike, ski.
*Watch American Idol
*Miss an episode of Wipe Out

bitzyboozer

Stop eating meat/dairy/wheat/anything.

Polina

@bitzyboozer Re: dairy. It will NEVER HAPPEN. No matter how many GI upsets and excema flare ups I have. Love is a battlefield.

celacia

@Polina Cheese vacations are the best vacations. Totally worth it.

automaticdoor

@bitzyboozer I had to give up gluten for medical reasons. I am not giving up anything else unless I absolutely have to. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME. IT IS ALL I HAVE LEFT NOW. I am not cutting out the rest of the grains, I am not quitting dairy, I am not quitting red meat, I am not quitting sugar. NO. I will just eat balanced meals, OKAY.

...I just have a lot of feelings.

HurlingTandoori

-Join a fantasy football league
-Jump out of a perfectly good airplane
-Go to Coachella...again
-Go to Mexico...again
-Have a pet monkey

Oh, and the Vegas thing... I live in Vegas because, well, it's where I happened to get a seriously decent paying job. That said, I don't know why anyone would vacation in Vegas. I don't get the thrill of wandering around some horrible recreation of (insert global destination here) and taking photos of phony recreations of (insert campy attraction here). And if you eat on the Strip, YOU'RE GETTING RIPPED OFF.

notandersoncooper

- Cross country tour of Major League Baseball parks.
- McCartney Live in Concert.
- Any of that Hemingway shit.

missvancity

@Xaxa Fair enough! When I first moved here I had this sort of romanticized picture in my head of living in the West End and then I realized I'd have to drive over two bridges every day, morning and night, and almost killed myself.

Achyvi

DOLPHIN RAPE CAVE.

My boyfriend just found out about male dolphins and their prehensile penises, and now he is more than a little obsessed at wondering how many swimmers have died because of being dragged underwater. And also, he tells everyone about it at the soonest opportunity. I'm not gonna lie, I still laugh my head off when he starts on it.

Summer Terra@facebook

Har har har, I watched Sex and Lucia in a theater with my GRANDMOTHER. I was totally uncomfortable, but she thought it was great!

astrangerinthealps

Couldn't agree more with 1, 5, or 8.

Here's mine:

-Cruise the Caribbean
-Play a round of golf
-Attend anything that calls itself Fashion Week
-Travel to the Holy Land (Israel, sure, fine. "Holy Land", no.)

Melusina

- Tweet (unless to start a Twitter feud with Ayelet Waldeman)
- Be on a reality TV show
- Learn to knit
- Heroin

Myrtle

-Live with "Country Calico" anything
-Go to Disneyland
-Wear Uggs or Ed Hardy
-Willingly watch TV
-Reconcile with my father
-Wear diamonds

jenny troy@twitter

My friend just met a cutest girl on --CasualLoving dot c'0m--. It's where for men and women looking for intimate encounters.
It's a nice place for people who wanna start a short-term relationship....
no bounds or extremes in front of true love.

Edmon

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