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Tuesday, December 6, 2011

80

Men to Have Their Own Beer Again

"We of course make records — they are fundamental to what we do. ... But we wanted to create a brand so that our fans have a greater experience ... in fact, we are soon going to be selling our own beer. I’m not even joking."
—In case you missed it: after a year in which female beer aficionados have been disproportionately catered to, men are at last being re-recognized, with an India Pale Ale brought to them by the all-male group Hanson.* Guess what it's called?
a. MMMBock
b. MMMHops
c. Plant a Seed, Plant a Lager, Plant a Rose

(*NB: Hanson is a charming group of talented young men, and their beer will likely be delicious. They are not actually marketing it at men specifically, because everyone can and will love it; it's a secret everyone knows.)

Tags:

music, booze, beer, hanson



80 Comments / Post A Comment

beanie

So many relationships in life. Only one or two will last.

This is the moment I am supposed to jump in and say I was Team Taylor right?

Team Ike didn't exist.

bouncy castle

@beanie Team Taylor 4 lyfeee

Ashley FullStop Brown@facebook

@beanie i was absolutely team taylor.

lisma

@beanie I was a horrid, beastly, little pre-teen and every Hanson poster I had also included a circle of paper, cut out and pasted over Issac's face. Then I drew a happy face on it!

beanie

@ginalouise which is exactly what you would have done to Kevin Jonas, had you been 15 years younger.

(Does anybody else compare the two? Just me?)

(Also as long as we are all admitting things, can we talk about how great their Christmas album was?)

lisma

@beanie duh basically greatest Christmas album ever.

fleurdelivre

@beanie I still listen to it sometimes. I die.

MissCellaneous

@beanie And yet, Ike turned out pretty well! Taylor sometimes has skeezy facial hair.

beanie

@ginalouise oh good. I have a Pandora station just for it.

@Krist10 but Taylor is soooo pretty still. He hasn't lost his boyish good looks.

atipofthehat

When it comes to beer, traditionally, women have lagered behind.

Ophelia

Perhaps it's because some of us are so stout?

leonstj

@atipofthehat - Now you're bringing up a subject bound to make them bitter.

annepersand

@Ophelia I don't even think we know what ales us.

atipofthehat

@Ophelia

It's nobody's malt. Maybe women are more reluctant to hops on a trend?

teaandcakeordeath

@leon.saintjean
I'm hop-ping mad.

Ophelia

@annepersand We oughta have more pilsner medicine cabinet.

atipofthehat

@Ophelia

I can't resist the lambic glow from your hair!

atipofthehat

@atipofthehat

(Is that a fancy way of saying "I'd tap that"?)

Polina

We're a bunch of hens. Buh-BOCK!

(Okay I officially ruined it. Like everything.)

annepersand

@Polina Chimay have.

boyofdestiny

@annepersand You're weiss beyond your years.

Ophelia

@boyofdestiny Yeah, we're all gonna hefeweisen up to match her.

atipofthehat

@boyofdestiny

She has a good head on her.

boyofdestiny

@Ophelia We'll just have to doppel our efforts.

atipofthehat

@boyofdestiny

Uh, I think you're up the kriek without a Blue Paddle.

Ophelia

@boyofdestiny We can czech with the others and come up with a plan.

annepersand

@atipofthehat Helping him out would be the yeast we could do.

boyofdestiny

@atipofthehat Yikes! I hope I don't get bit by a Dogfish.

jstar

@boyofdestiny or catch something from a prostitute at the Hoegaarden.

boyofdestiny

@jstar Those gals are alright, worts and all.

annepersand

@boyofdestiny They're so pretty, with their isinglass and red lips...

atipofthehat

@annepersand

This is a certainly a lot of brew-ha-ha you stirred up!

lisma

@annepersand EVERYONE HERE IS AMAZING. And I apologize for ruining this with my lack of beer pun.

boyofdestiny

@ginalouise It's ok. The puns are starting to get tapped out anyway.

Tulletilsynet

@boyofdestiny
My wife was pretty careful while she was expecting but she had a beer and a bump now and then.

atipofthehat

@ginalouise

I dunno, we're kind of Busch league.

jstar

@ginalouise it's ok, you seem like a Bud-ing pun enthusiast.

atipofthehat

@jstar

Of Coors it's all right! The Hairpin always Foster's a welcoming spirit. No need to commit Sapporo!

Emby

Sorry, Hanson, but when it comes to IPAs these days, if it's not Bell's 2❤'d, I'm not interested.

highfivesforall

@Emby Arrrrgh why won't Bell's distribute in New York?? Whyyyyyyyyyy

boyofdestiny

@highfivesforall Their Oberon is like kissing an angel.

giantspider

@boyofdestiny THIRD COAST.

dalek in heels

@Emby om nom nom Bell's Two Hearted. Only thing I drink anymore when I watch two-hearted time lords.

ms. alex

Perfect for the friend who loves IPAs and hates Hanson, right? Riiight?

annepersand

@ms. alex I hadn't realized we'd met!

Katie Heaney

When the night is dark and lonely, you won't have to reach out for me. I will come to you, oh I will come to you.

applestoapples

@Katie Heaney
NA NA, NA NA NA NA
NA NA NA
NA NAAAAAAA
(I will come to you)

Katie Heaney

@applestoapples I'LL REACH OUT FORRR YOUR HAAAAAAAAANNNND

Max
Max

I cannot wait for this beer to be released! As I drink it, the bottle will make a great microphone for my Hanson dance party/sing along.

meepmeep

I weirdly saw them at a free concert in London last winter, became insane, and when Zac commented that it was hot on the stage shouted "YOU AREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"

joan

@meepmeep Wait, how are you not me? I have many usernames with "meep" in it and am still in love with Zac Hanson. I might have followed him down the street taking his picture a few years ago. Maybe.

Ophelia

It's ok that I'm rocking out in my hotel room to mmmmbop, right?

kayjay

@Ophelia It's okay because they write their own songs.

kayjay

I also heard they started their own line of cleaning supplies: MMMop.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@kayjay Yeah, after their farming business didn't work out, because all the MMcrops died.

teaandcakeordeath

I have to ask - what could the rules of Hansonopoly possibly be?

sarah girl

Okay, I've seen this all over the internet the last few days, but the ONLY source is that quote from Zac Hanson. And it kind of sounds like dry humor...?

I mean, I'm guessing since they didn't issue a swift "haha no just kidding" denial it's probably true, but that's been bothering me.

Yahtzii

I wonder if this beer will start vicious wars with my girlfriends about who gets to drink what beer. Bitch I TOTALLY called Taylorweizen, and Katie claimed the Zac lager ages ago. I can't help it if you're stuck with IkePA.

leonstj

First diet Dr Pepper and now a beer! One day we trodden upon men will be free from the longstanding beverage matriarchy.

Ophelia

@leon.saintjean You are forgetting Pepsi Max.

atipofthehat

@leon.saintjean

First, they came for our beer. But they will never take our candy bar. I mean, literally. Metaphorically, I live to share my candy bar with the ladies.

EpWs

@leon.saintjean Soon Hanson will be coming out with their Just For Men line of sodas, called MMMPop.

highfivesforall

This article is really only here because it mentions Qream, qright?

JoanTition

Let's take a moment to remember that one time Gus Van Sant directed a Hanson video.

Look at those outfits!

(for unrelated/ totally related reasons I need to go listen to Sneaker Pimps rightthefucknow)

JoanTition

@JoanTition and by outfits I mean bucket hats.

elizabeast

Dear Philly area Pinners:

As soon as humanly possible, I'm going to buy a case of this. You are all invited over for an MMMBeer tasting and Hanson Power Hour.

MissCellaneous

@elizabeast NY area Pinners, hit me up if you have similar plans.

elizabeast

@Kris10 Can we skype into your party?

shlee

My friend Jenna went to a pre-concert radio station event and she managed to get a hold of half of Zach's Egg McMuffin (or so she says). She kept it in her freezer and would sometimes bring it out and nibble on it.

I should say, this was back in the day before any of Hanson was old enough to drink.

rambutan

@shlee Dying.

fleurdelivre

I got booed by a room full of Hanson fans once about three years ago. They will turn on their own kind! And now they're adding alcohol to the mix?!

beanie

@fleurdelivre what did you do? Make fun of the musical masterpiece that is "Man from Milwaukee"?

ps. your icon-little English bulldog smooooooosh his face socute.

fleurdelivre

@fleurdelivre I haven't thought about "Man from Milwaukee" in literally years! Flashbacks!

But no, I started prefacing a question for the brothers with "I read this news item about your new single in Rolling Stone that wasn't totally complimentary" and boos erupted. And then I got snubbed by Taylor Hanson when he came down to greet everyone and started with the girl sitting RIGHT BESIDE ME.

beanie

@fleurdelivre way harsh Tay/Tai.

Nutmeg

I feel like I'm the only kid who grew up to Hanson and was convinced for years that they were an all-girl band. years

automaticdoor

@Nutmeg You totally weren't. :)

KeLynn

You know how sometimes you watch/listen to/read things you loved when you were younger and you think "oh god, I shouldn't have done that. In my wizened age I can see that this is actually crap and I have ruined my rosey memory of it."? This has NEVER happened to me with Hanson. Every time I re-listen I remember why they were so awesome to my 11 year old heart.

excitedheart

my two greatest loves combined, edith's puns and hanson. i was terrified to read the comments but i see i am among family... i should have known.

madgemmc

I REGISTERED JUST TO COMMENT ON THIS. (although, obviously i have been lurking for many many many months and secretly (not so secretly, i harass all my RL people about this) want to be part of the 'pinners.

i LOVE Hanson. i saw them last week in london and stoood out int he RAIN and the COLD for two hours before the gig (totally worth it. fourth fromt he front) and i am 28 years old. I will NOT be mocked for this. i do not care at all.

also, they're hilarious. and may *well* have a beer. which i would drink (despite not really liking beer. if they bring out a single malt whiskey i will buy it by the CRATE LOAD and have it shipped across the globe to me)

finally, i wish i had a beer pun to make.

i also sort of wish that my first ever Hairpin comment wasn't so scary-intense...

madgemmc

@madgemmc (and i wish i'd read it through and fixed those typos. and mentioned i did not go alone to this gig, but instead had an awesome friend with me in the queue who also loves them and it was all about the JOY. a bit about the cold, but mainly the JOY).

now i have to go and do some actual job work.

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