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Thursday, December 1, 2011

60

Cool Things About Christopher Guest

This profile of my eternal crush object is super out-of-date, and here are the BEST PARTS.

“Jamie calls the House of Lords ‘the lord thing,’ which is just right,” Guest said. “I actually went for a few years, before they kicked the hereditary peers out. My first day there I was lost. The corridors all look the same. The third time I go around, I see the same guard, who says, ‘Perhaps my lord would like a compass.’ With just a little smile on his face. That was worth the whole thing. I thought, Now we can go home.” But not before Curtis visited the gift shop and loaded up on barbecue aprons, oven mitts and matches, all with the House of Lords insignia.

He's royal, and he buys tacky shit at gift shops.

Sitting beside him was David Nichtern, Guest’s best friend since childhood. On their first day of nursery school, a bully threatened to beat up Nichtern and was beaten up by Guest instead. At 13, they started playing guitar together in Washington Square Park. Nichtern is a musician and composer who wrote the song “Midnight at the Oasis.”

This one may only be amazing if you've seen Guffman eleventy-one times.

While she’s used to the fact that Guest doesn’t talk or emote much, he can still crack her up. “We go to a function, like a charity dinner, and he starts moaning just loud enough for me to hear,” she said. “And I’m trying so hard not to laugh.” He is also, she says, an exceptionally kind person. “He sends a handwritten letter to every actor he has to cut out of his movies, even with the tiniest part,” she said. “He respects that process so much, and he does it so lovingly.”

SEE, he's also super-nice, even though everyone who meets him says he's kind of dour.

60 Comments / Post A Comment

QuiteAmiable

How did I not know he is royalty?! GAH!

pterodactgirl

@QuiteAimable Seriously. He was already on my list of "people I will never be cooler than." I guess now I'll just have to bump him the ranks some? (Mainly for his attitude towards being a royal.)

Xanthophyllippa

@QuiteAimable Nobility, not royalty. Sorry to burst the illusion.

QuiteAmiable

@Xanthophyllippa It's all the same to me... I just need something that will sound cool at the beginning of my name, whether it be "dame" or "princess".

raised amongst catalogs

"Dour" is exactly the right word for the impression I get of him, but I think that maybe to be that hilarious professionally, maybe you have to be very reserved and introverted personally?

raised amongst catalogs

@vanillawaif I am in the middle of reading that piece, so I hope I didn't just copy what the interviewer or someone else in the story says about C. Guest.

sarah girl

Oh comments on this piece, please don't disappoint me!!!

atipofthehat

@Sarah H.

"We started this magazine, 'American Bitch.' It's a focus on the issues of the lesbian pure bred dog owner."

Lucienne

@atipofthehat "And it worked for my family, you know ... until my mom committed suicide in '81."

melis

Leslie and I have an amazing relationship and it's very physical, he still pushes all my buttons. People say 'oh but he's so much older than you' and you know what, I'm the one having to push him away. We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.

Tragically Ludicrous

@Sarah H. We met at Starbucks. Not the same Starbucks.

fondue with cheddar

@Tragically Ludicrous
I used to be able to name every nut that there was. And it used to drive my mother crazy, because she used to say, "Harlan Pepper, if you don't stop naming nuts," and the joke was that we lived in Pine Nut, and I think that's what put it in my mind at that point. So she would hear me in the other room, and she'd just start yelling. I'd say, "Peanut. Hazelnut. Cashew nut. Macadamia nut." That was the one that would send her into going crazy. She'd say, "Would you stop naming nuts!" And Hubert used to be able to make the sound, he couldn't talk, but he'd go "rrrawr rrawr" and that sounded like Macadamia nut. Pine nut, which is a nut, but it's also the name of a town. Pistachio nut. Red pistachio nut. Natural, all natural white pistachio nut.

Brunhilde

If you get hungry, eat something. If you get tired, pull over.

Nicole Cliffe

@Brunhilde Snow peas, the outdoors...

sarah girl

I hate you, and I hate your ASS FACE!

atipofthehat

@Sarah H.

Kids don't like eating at school, but if they have a Remains of the Day lunchbox they're a lot happier.

Hot Doom

@atipofthehat Apparently when the movie came out, Remains of the Day lunchboxes were given out at a junket. I have been trolling the earth looking for one for nigh on 15 years.

Dancercise

@atipofthehat
This is without a doubt one of my favorite items: My Dinner with Andre action figures.

jules

@Sarah H. You are bastard people!

Now I'm going to go home and I'm going to bite my pillow.

Nicole Cliffe

Fun fact! The Old Blaine-ian? David Arquette's dad. Also the dad to the other Arquettes.

Hot Doom

@Nicole Cliffe Mmm, I love beans! Big, fat, hot, juicy beans! Now don't get me goin' on beans.

cheeseandcrackers

Count Tyrone Rugen. <3

Bebe

I always thought one of the coolest things about Christopher Guest is that he is married to Jamie Lee Curtis. They are totally on my Fantasy Dinner Party invite list.

Faintly Macabre

"Peanut. Hazelnut. Cashew nut. Macadamia nut."

bitzyboozer

@Faintly Macabre Aah, you beat me to it!

melis

And it used to drive my mother crazy, because she used to say, "Harlan Pepper, if you don't stop naming nuts," and the joke was that we lived in Pine Nut, and I...

sarah girl

@Faintly Macabre WHITE macadamia nut.

Hot Doom

Dibbick-Schmibbick, I said more HAM.

jules

@LolaLaBalc OMG. LOVE

ludakrissy

"we're talkin' about MY LIFE here, we're not talkin' about...somethin' else, we're talkin' about MY LIFE!"

Nicole Cliffe

I'm gonna go home, and, and, and...bite my pillow.

Dancercise

@Nicole Cliffe
... and say, "No way, Corky. You're not putting up with these people." And I'll tell you why I can't put up with you people. Because you're bastard people.

Hot Doom

It's a zen thing, like how many babies fit in a tire.

Wednesday

Oh man, I almost met him 2 months ago. He's good friends with a former instructor of mine and was waiting outside the bar we were at. When I found out I told the former instructor who was mildly surprised my bf and I were so interested in 'his friend Chris.' Lol.

Dancercise
Nicole Cliffe

Lick my love pump!

atipofthehat

@Nicole Cliffe

Authorities said... best leave it... unsolved.

Hambulance

@atipofthehat You can't dust...

..for vomit.

mynamebackwards

"WHAT TIME IS IT??" it's time for me to freak out that corky's bestie wrote 'midnight at the oasis.'

Dancercise

@mynamebackwards
YOU DON'T NEED TO ANSWER!

mynamebackwards

@Dancersize THERE'S NO NEED TO SPEAK! *snap*snap*snap* (I just realized that the only way to transcribe a ron and sheila duet is in caps lock)

Dancercise

@mynamebackwards
DON'T YOU REST ON OUR ACCOUNT, DANIEL POTTER! WE WOMEN ARE JUST AS STRONG AND RESILIENT AS YOU MEN!

mynamebackwards

@Dancersize "YOU'RE SO STRONG, RON. YOU'RE JUST A BIG BRICK SH...." (I have a feeling that we could do this allllll night)

teebs

I have had "God Loves a Terrier" in my head for weeks.

I don't know if I have anything useful to say right now except that I love Christopher Guest and he is one of those artists who makes me feel unworthy to try and be somebody because I could never be as amazing and funny as him.

sarah girl

@teebs Oh no, now I have it in my head, too D:

Dancercise

I reckon we're in love
And married we'll be
And all for a penny
A bright copper penny
The penny that brought you to me.

Dancercise

Hock your jewels
Use the money for stools
STOOL BOOM
From the parlor to the pool room

likethestore

Thank you Nicole, I'm watching Guffman right now!

Hot Doom

SHHHH, girl talk. What's it like to be with a circumcised man?

Nicole Cliffe

Dances With Stumpy!

jules

Where's her Busy Bee? WHERE is her Busy Bee???

jules

@jules You stupid hotel manager!

Nicole Cliffe

Like many crazed dog owners, when we get too worked up, the other tends to say "she wants her Busy Bee!"

Casanova Frankenstein

@jules I didn't ask you for your opinion, I asked for a toy that YOU DON'T HAVE.

missustufnel

screen name says it all

Stephanie@twitter

Genius. Christopher Guest is an absolute genius. From Nigel Tufnel, to the Six Fingered Man, to Corky St. Clair. Pure f-ing genius.

lindseykai

That Dog's cover of "Midnight at the Oasis" is pretty great. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoaewtl4CnI

Casanova Frankenstein

One of the great tragedies of my life is that while Best in Show and Spinal Tap are on Netflix, WAITING FOR GUFFMAN ISN'T. Netflix is trying to ruin my life.

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