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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

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ABC Family's 25 Days of Not-Christmas

This is a list of the movies and specials on ABC Family's "25 Days of Christmas" that are not about Christmas, followed by the possible rationale behind their inclusion (in order of air date).

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. (Harry gets a present; Hermione wishes him "Happy Christmas.")

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. (Christmas trees.)

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. (Hogsmeade is decorated for Christmas.)

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. (There is a Yule Ball.)

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. (Everyone gets a sweater for Christmas.)

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. (There is a Christmas dinner.)

Happy Feet. (Penguins live in cold places, like Santa.)

"Pixar short films." (Cartoons and Christmas both start with C.)

The Cat in the Hat. (The cat's hat is red and white, like Santa's.)

Finding Nemo. (That scary fish lights up in the dark, much like Christmas lights)

Beauty and the Beast. (It snows.)

Up. (People get dogs for Christmas — this is the reasoning the ads use.)

Toy Story. (There are two minutes of Christmas at the end.)

Toy Story 2. (Toys are a common Christmas gift.)

Aladdin. (There's magic, and Christmas is magical.)

The Incredibles. (Have a super Christmas!)

Disney Prep and Landing. (I don't even know what this is.)

(In case you were wondering, their actual Christmas movies are How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Home Alone 2 [never 1], The Polar Express, The Santa Clause and The Santa Clause 3 [never 2], and their weird original movies.)

Alexandra Martell works on the World Wide Web and spends far too much time watching ABC Family (ask her about Make It or Break It). Her top three Christmas movies are Elf, Love Actually, and Home Alone, none of which are shown as part of 25 Days of Christmas.

100 Comments / Post A Comment

kylie

THIS. And also they had Eloise at Christmastime, like, once. I love me some Eloise at Christmastime, ahh...

JessicaLovejoy

I kind of love that HP marathons are how ABC Family celebrates every holiday. "It's Bastille Day! That just screams Half Blood Prince, am I right?"

Verity

@JessicaLovejoy Hogwarts gets invaded by Death Eaters! It's like the storming of the Bastille, sort of (ie, not at all).

melis

All this and they couldn't shoehorn in Au Pair?

Cara Motts@twitter

@melis one of my faves! not the sequels though, big surprise.

srs
srs

I actually like this list. These are all family movies, not just Christmas movies, which I think is appropriate tv scheduling for this time of year. But then again, I'm Jewish so Santa hates me and I probably don't get to have an opinion on something called "25 Days of Christmas".

sox
sox

@srs Ahem.

Dear Santa, I am Jewish. Why don’t you also deliver gifts to Jewish kids? Melissa S., Seattle, WA

Melissa, I would really love to bring gifts to Jewish children all over the world, and I am hoping at some point down the road we can add them to our delivery routes. Judaism is a terrific religion and Jewish children are some of the highest-rated kids on the Nice List. We made a handshake agreement long ago to allow Hanukkah to be a special holiday on its own, and there is much debate whether the eight days of gift-giving is as much fun as one big holiday of giving. But, don’t forget, Jews get a Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in which they pretty much have the run of the town. All those days going out to movies and to eat with your families when everyone else is unwrapping in their homes, those memories can be very special, too. Sometimes the experience of Christmas can be overwhelming and disappointing and can leave Christmas-celebrators feeling pretty wiped-out. Hannukah has a wonderful history that doesn’t get overwhelmed by me. Enjoy it. But, if we decide to make a change down the road, it will be in all the papers and blogs.

sox
sox

@sox (I wholeheartedly agree on the family movie tv scheduling for this time of year though.)

srs
srs

@sox See, I ignored that whole post because I saw that it was written by Santa and assumed that there was nothing in it for me. Shows how wrong I was.

redheaded&crazy

leaving out Home Alone really is pretty criminal.

emilylou

@redheadedandcrazy AGREED. It's the only Christmas movie worth watching, in my opinion. Keep the change, ya filthy animal!

highjump

Please tell me your feeling on Make It or Break It! Who is a dumb bitch? Who is the super coolest? Why did we have to wait so long for Candace Cameron to return to our television screens?!

Alexandra Martell

@highjump my most pressing concern is will it end in 2012 after the real Olympics?!

highjump

@Alexandra Martell Are we even going to make it that far?

Alexandra Martell

@highjump I mean, if they don't have a whole season of drama over who is going to the Olympics or not then all the eating disorders and broken backs and relationship sabotage and crushes on coaches and sleeping with other people's boyfriends and pizza romances will have been for nothing!

highjump

@Alexandra Martell Indeed. I just don't want a whole season leading up to Olympic trials, and then a 4th season leading up to the Olympics. Give me a season about the Olympics where one of them wins gold in the all-around and then the 4th season can be 'dealing with fame and/or bitterness'

Also! Is Emily gone for good?!

Alexandra Martell

@highjump I kind of hope so. I know I'm asking a lot seeing as this is ABC Family, but her character has had absolutely no development throughout howevermany years we've been watching this and it was getting old.

Also...are we really the only 'pinners who will admit to watching this?

highjump

@Alexandra Martell I certainly hope not. People do not know what they are missing. ABC family needs to do a ballet version of this show. Or maybe a competitive horsemanship version (showjumping, dressage, whatever!). Or a teens trying to 'make it' in Hollywood version. Too meta? I need more bitchy teenagers with actual talents and goals along with my soap opera plot lines.

drunkennoodle

@highjump I feel like I watch almost everything on ABC Family except for the godforsaken secret life...including make it or break it, switched at birth, lying game, pretty little liars...

elizabeast

@Alexandra Martell I have found my people. The only other Make It or Break It fans in the universe.

Ames

@highjump I am a steadfast Make It or Break It fan! So are the ladies and many of the readers at Go Fug Yourself, just fyi.

Alexandra Martell

@Ames is correct. I am friends with them IRL and we have had far too many adult conversations about teenager shows. They are really great at spotting the cast in the wild/on other shows.

Xanthophyllippa

@Alexandra Martell @highjump Nope - I was watching it on Hulu for a while. But it got to be too much about the spine girl being deluded and the rich girl being two-faced, so I stopped. (Plus Peri Gilpin drives me up. The. WALL.)

Nothing will ever be as good as "Stick It," anyway. Jeff Bridges on a trampoline? Yes please.

emmacatherine

@highjump Chelsea Hobbs, the girl who plays Emily, has tweeted that she's not returning to the show.
also, I just made an account for the express purpose of posting this. the things I will do for MIOBI!

highjump

@highjump @emmacatherine that makes me sad because I love an "unconventional girl has talent" storyline, but that feeling is counterbalanced by the wonderful sense of community I have found in this thread.

redheaded&crazy

as to the rest, they all relate to christmas because christmas is a time to spend weeping on the couch with family, and all these movies make me weepy (that I've seen anyway - so - not cat in the hat).

fondue with cheddar

@redheadedandcrazy Jim Carrey in that prosthetic cat face makes me weep, but for a different reason.

noodge

awww, I always feel the holiday spizzle when I watch harry pizzle. the other movies? not as much, but i do love to watch tons of cartoons during the holiday season. and beauty and the beast is my favie princess cartoon, so any time is a good time to watch that.

thelinsee

There's something about Christmas that makes animation and "children's stories" seem so perfect... well, it's either Christmas itself or Christmas break when all the kiddies are out of school.

hulia

@thelinsee And here my cynical side assumed they all counted as Christmas movies because they have pervasive merchandise tie-ins, and thus resemble the presents under Christmas trees past. Further proof that this is a Grinch year for me! (Oh, but that to me explains the Cat in the Hat -- it's Seuss, like the Grinch, but owned by Disney, unlike the Grinch. So... best they could do?)

thelinsee

@hulia Oh I definitely think your "cynical side" makes a more than accurate point—extending my original point (and I guess pardon my own cynicism here?) - all the kiddies are out of school, giving programmers and thus advertisers a perfect opportunity to market to them and tell them all of the toys they need to be begging "santa" for.

amandadayle

Prep and landing is a movie about elves delivering Christmas presents. I am 27 and childless and know this.

Cara Motts@twitter

I rotate between ABCFam, Hallmark Channel, AMC, Lifetime and Ovation for my christmas movie fix. ABC Family used to be the best, but then they got the Harry Potter movies and went nuts. I can't handle it. Also, why does CBS have the rights to the original Rudolph but only show it once?

elysian fields

The best Christmas movie is Little Women (yeah, I know there's only one Christmas scene. Who cares?).

Also, it has come to my attention that I am the only person on earth who has never seen Home Alone. Not once in my entire life.

QuiteAmiable

@elysian fields You've never seen Home Alone?! I cry for you. I actually watched it this past weekend. Yes, I'm 29, single and childless.

Dancercise

@elysian fields
You are not alone.

oh, disaster

@elysian fields Little Women is my favorite non-Christmas Christmas movie. It just makes me feel so warm and cozy.

joie

@andrea disaster warm and cozy, except for the trauma when Beth [SPOILER] dies.

Verity

@elysian fields I haven't seen it either.

oh, disaster

@heyits I try to mentally block that fact and it gets me every single time. The super sad music doesn't help. However, I've gotten over Jo not marrying Laurie, though it took a decade or so.

BeebsLaRue

@elysian fields No way! Oh, I think you should rent it. It's in my top three-ish (or five-ish) Christmas movies of all time. I don't know what that says about my character, and I don't care. Tiny adorable Macaulay Culkin FTW!

elysian fields

@andrea disaster probably the best thing about this already amazing movie is how MIND-SCORCHINGLY HOT Christian Bale is in the first half of the movie, before the weird facial hair. Like, so hot, it might cause me to hyperventilate and drool on myself a li'l bit.

joie

@elysian fields YES. Christian Bale is...he makes me all tingly. Have you seen Newsies? I think it almost trumps Laurie hotness. Plus, he sings! Not very well! and dances!

oh, disaster

@heyits Don't make me pick between Little Women and Newsies, please.

joie

@andrea disaster I think I might need to have a Christian Bale marathon this weekend.

oh, disaster

@heyits Same here. But not the Batman movies, his voice is too weird.

Lexa Lane

@elysian fields Two! There are two Christmas scenes! It opens with one and then there's the one where Beth gets her piano. So it totally counts as a Christmas movie.

sam.i.am

@elysian fields I have seen neither Home Alone, nor A Christmas Story.

yeah-elle

What's your traditional every-year-like-clockwork movie to watch around the holidays? My family always watches The Snowman on VHS.

kayjay

@yeah-elle I cannot watch the Snowman. Just hearing the music turns me into the biggest blubbering weepy mess EVER.

Dancercise

@yeah-elle
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the animated version, not the Jim Carrey one). My mom and I watch it every year and end up weeping by the end. "Welcome Christmas, bring your cheer, cheer to all Whos far and near... Christmas Day will always be, just as long as we have we." I die every time. I'm tearing up just thinking about those lines.

kayjay

@Dancersize And "You're a Mean One, Mister Grinch"!! Do you know how much I adore that song? If I could find a karaoke version, I would sing it year-round.

snuffleupagus

@Dancersize Love this one too! I'm almost thirty and can recite the first few minutes from memory. I'm waiting for this to come in handy as a party trick.

Dancercise

@snuffleupagus
Only the first few? Amateur.

(She said teasingly and lovingly.)

snuffleupagus

@Dancersize Ha! Touche! Once my nieces and nephews are old enough to appreciate it, I'll have to step up my game.

melis

@kayjay Oh, God, the Snowman. THE SNOWMAN. THE SNOWMANNNN.

emilylou

@yeah-elle I already said it up in another thread, but it deserves to be said again: HOME ALONE. Best ever, no contest.

schadenfraulein

@yeah-elle Emmett Otter's Jug-Band Christmas!

Nutmeg

@yeah-elle It used to be It's A Wonderful Life, but eventually we would only really watch it for tradition's sake, and the last few years we stopped because SO LONG.

The Snowman makes me BAWL so I cannot watch it with my family (they don't need to see me cry any more than I already do).

kayjay

The only worse holiday movie selection out there is Netflix. I mean, it's nice that they made a category and made the pictures on the menu all big and whatnot, but no Rankin Bass? No Elf? Sad, generic movies like "Randolph the Scarlet-Eyed Elk" and "Snata Kraus" that one would find in the $5 bin at Walmart? Come ON. ABC Family's selection is stellar by comparison.

(Although Netflix does have Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas, which almost forgives all. ALMOST.)

redheaded&crazy

@kayjay please tell me you made both of those movie titles up.

sox
sox

@kayjay So... kind of off topic, but I signed up for my free one month trial of netflix yesterday and then it suggested I watch The House of Yes based on my little survey of preferences thingy and although I watched it 11 or 12 years ago in college and knew what to expect, I watched it anyway. Which I don't recommend as holiday movie, despite it taking place on Thanksgiving. Although Parker Posey is quite crushworthy in a very insane manner of being.

sarah girl

@kayjay SERIOUSLY, I was lamenting this fact this weekend. The only half-decent one was the adaptation of the Nutcracker ballet, and even that had some cracked-out special effects and casting going on. Barf.

meetapossum

@kayjay TORI SPELLING'S OUTFITS in that movie.

frigwiggin

@kayjay Uggghhh, like that "Christmas in Handcuffs" TV movie with Melissa Joan Hart! Sabrina the Teenage Witch, I expected better from you.

You'll be sorry Jo March

@sox I love that movie! I watched it for the first time a couple months ago at netflix's recommendation, and then proceeded to watch it again the next day. :)

Diana

@kayjay

I can't stop laughing at "Snata Kraus". I think I'm going to use that every Christmas for the rest of my life just to fuck with people.

snuffleupagus

I'm still waiting for Bridget Jones, which is my second-favorite christmas movie, to come on. Colin Firth in a reindeer sweater? Merry christmas to me!

I did see the family stone last weekend, though, which fulfills my bawling-at-a-holiday-movie quotient.

DancingOnMyOwn

RIP ABCFamily's version of 10 Things I Hate About You.

Moon of My Life

@DancingOnMyOwn oh god, why did they cancel that show? WHY? WHY?

elysian fields

If anyone is looking for a slightly more, shall we say, sophisticated holiday movie, may I recommend Metropolitan?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metropolitan_(film)
Think of a movie-length episode of Gossip Girl, but way more low-key; less gossip and drama, more pseudo-intellectual collegiate chatter. It's charming, I promise.

oh, disaster

@elysian fields I just watched that the other day on Netflix. I liked it, but it's one of those movies that if I was the least bit sleepy, I would have given in to the Nap Gods. Chris Eigeman was the best though.

coreykins

@elysian fields You had me at Gossip Girl. Sold!

elysian fields

@andrea disaster Yeah, his character is sort of the ultimate Hot Rich Douchebag. And I think of Tom as a more likeable Dan Humphrey.

sam.i.am

@elysian fields Love this movie. Also, "The Ice Storm," if you need something depressing.

Megasus

All of these movies are pretty rad, festive or no. Also Home Alone 2 is easily far superior to 1, because having the run of a fancy hotel and toy store and having a rich dude's credit card is just the best thing ever.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Megan Patterson@facebook Seriously injuring burglars should also be the best thing ever.

M'fly

This is a pretty good list, but I think my family's traditional Christmas movie list is much better and more festive, if a little less traditional (if that's possible):
Best In Show
The Impostors
The Royal Tenenbaums
Repo Man
Alien
Terminator

BeebsLaRue

I have to agree with the inclusion of the Harry Potter movies. Even though they aren't Christmas or holiday specific, they just *feel* like Christmas movies. Same goes for Lord of the Rings. I only want to watch those movies around this time of year. PS Have y'all seen The Hobbit trailer? zomg!

yeah-elle

@BeebsLaRue The Hobbittttt ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

joie

@BeebsLaRue it looks amazing!!! I was skeptical of Martin Freeman's ability to play a decent Bilbo, but I think I'm convinced.

Hellcat

@heyits I read that as "Morgan Freeman" and, even as a non-LotR type, I thought that seemed odd.

You'll be sorry Jo March

@BeebsLaRue Especially since nearly all of them came out in theaters at Christmas!

Hellcat

I prefer a night of holiday-themed horror, including but not limited to Black Christmas and Silent Night, Deadly Night. These movies are by no means what you'd call "good," but they do the trick.

For some reason, even though it has to do with nothing here at the moment, I feel like I should confess that I absolutely hate all things Charlie Brown, including the Christmas special.

BeebsLaRue

@Hellcat THANK YOU. Charlie Brown is boring. There, I said it.

Hellcat

@BeebsLaRue No, thank YOU. I always feel grateful to meet (well, "meet") another one of us. I feel like we're a small and misunderstood bunch.

drunkennoodle

Please tell me someone has watched the horror that is "special delivery" - an ABC family Christmas original starring Andy Dick...it is quite possibly the worst thing I have ever seen!

baseball and mango ice cream

I won't lie, Made-For-TV Christmas Movies are my favorite genre of movie. I'm very sad that ABC Family has apparently moved away from them. I mean, Snow? aka the movie where Adorable Tom Cavanagh is an awkward young Santa whose reindeer (who hasn't learned to fly yet) runs away and ends up in...San Diego/Santa Barbara/Southern California somewhere under the care of Equally Adorable Zookeeper Ashley Williams? My favorite.

Or Snowglobe, the cinematic masterpiece in which Christina Milian gets stuck in a snowglobe. Yes, it's amazingly ridiculous. Yes, I bought it for my roommate last Christmas. Why do you ask...?

On the other hand, there's also Holiday in Handcuffs, a disturbing look at Stockholm Syndrome as it affects former 90s teen stars (Melissa Joan Hart & Mario Lopez).....

Ames

@baseball and mango ice cream They had an adorably cheesy Christmas romcom this year with Amy Smart and Zach Morris (er...Mark-Paul Gosselaar). "12 Dates of Christmas." It was basically Groundhog Day, but it satiated my Christmas Movie Need.

baseball and mango ice cream

@Ames Oooh, I saw a few commercials for that. Hopefully they'll re-run it this week, or I'll see if it's online. Zach Morris Christmas rom-com! Amazing.

frigwiggin

@baseball and mango ice cream AHH, I was just talking about Holiday In Handcuffs further upthread! I haven't seen it, but it looks SO BAD. But if it's bad in a hilarious way, like Adventures in Babysitting, I might have to give it a try...

baseball and mango ice cream

@figwiggin I've never watched the whole thing, just bits & pieces. Mario Lopez never did it for me, so I wasn't super interested, despite the presence of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. But my roommates watched it last Christmas and were legitimately horrified that they were supposed to find the kidnapping/Stockholm syndrome funny. So. Take that for what it's worth?

JLA
JLA

Wait, they're showing a ton of legit Christmas movies! Just from looking at their webpage I see Love Actually, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, The Year without Santa, The Polar Express and How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

Nutmeg

@J. L. A.@twitter The Polar Express is not a Christmas movie, it is a horror movie, in that it horrifies me to see what they did to my favorite Christmas book.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

What about the Garfield Christmas special, am I right?

Nutmeg

Muppets Christmas Carol or go home

mumble pie

@Nutmeg YES! I get weepy!! Must find a copy soon because the VHS that's in the big plastic box at my dad's house isn't going to cut it...

Charlotte

Lifetime has a MUCH better Christmas line-up with their It's a Wonderful Lifetime weekend schedule, including the one where Dolly Parton comes back from the dead as an angel to help a family remember the meaning of Christmas. My favorite is "the Christmas List", with Mimi Rogers. It's the best!

sharivan

@Charlotte I seriously miss Lifetime. I was never a big fan of their Christmas movies, but I recently moved to Canada and now have cable without LMN. Travesty!

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