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Women Struggling to Drink Water
Previously: Women Laughing Alone With Salad.
Photos via Aleksandr Markin, Andrey Arkusha, Piotr Marcinski, amok.lv, Sergey Peterman, CandyBox Images, Poulsons Photography, krechet, Eduard Titov, and George Muresan, via Shutterstock.
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Bukklearly?
@atipofthehat I'm pretty sure we all know how stupid women are so this is completely understandable: http://goo.gl/f4pXo
@atipofthehat #9 and #11
Despite all the water, I feel dirty.
@Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook Ha jinx!
@Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook RIGHT? I could not scroll through these fast enough.
@Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook
So glad I'm not the only one.
This needs a NSFW tag-I feel dirty now!
No symbolism there!
…ew. Ew!
The farther down I scrolled the more obscene these became. I can't tell if it's just my dawning horror or if you ordered them like this on purpose, DAMN YOU.
(This one is the one that tipped it over into porn for me, fyi.)
@Helen Rosner YES. that is the exact moment i realized i was in a water porno.
@Helen Rosner Ooh, that is going RIGHT up her nose!
@Helen Rosner That is the very picture that made me think "wait a second" and scrolled up to see if they were all so porny.
@Helen Rosner She looks so much like Kristin Bell, but I can't accept that V. Mars would put up with that tomfoolery.
@Helen Rosner seriously. she's not even TRYING to get it in her mouth!
And she DOES look like kristen bell – so I'm sure that picture will find a new home on many people's hard drives
@Helen Rosner as soon as I saw the pregnant one I started feeling uncomfortable looking at these at work.
@Helen Rosner Veronica would NEVER.
@Helen Rosner I think it's the eyeshadow that makes this one so striking.
@Helen Rosner
i think its because its not really an expression you associate with drinking water …
@candybeans It was the second one, for me. The pose made me think of this http://www.theawl.com/2011/09/the-try-to-sit-like-impossible-mary-jane-spiderman-contest
@candybeans
YESSS!! WATER PORNO!!!!!
@Helen Rosner
Totes, this was the one that looked most porny. And you know why? Because the poor girl so obviously ISN'T HAVING ANY FUN.
*stand up at her desk* *applauds*
The ones with the wet shirts were particularly dirty.
@thebestjasmine Brilliant. Plus, it's nutritious & delicious!
Are you telling me there's another way to drink water? I'm not sure I believe it.
@deepomega It IS a pretty tricky skill, especially if you're blonde and/or there's a gust of wind swirling about you.
@Black Socks I think this is maybe why they say drinking bottled water is bad?
@punkahontas HA, it's not the plastic that bad at all. Your Right! It's just that grabbing some bottled water makes you extremely hot? So you decide to dump it all over yourself in a provactive way instead of just drinking it. Hopefully some of it will make its way into your mouth. But generally it just gets ALL over you……. *smiles innocently*
i was actually going to say the opposite. SFW! Just use your imagination!
The alt text! "Sugarjets" is my new beverage-related swear word.
@Cawendaw Hahaha thank you for pointing out the alt text. Mommy? is my favorite.
@thebestjasmine "almost!"
@wee_ramekin Nailing it!
For the nostril shot I would have made some sort of skeeball reference. TEN POINTS!
@Cawendaw oof
I wish I had some of that water to wash out my eyes
What, no Jennifer Beals?
For the ones with blue bottles it's only NSFW if they are on Pandora.
Aquafina!
@atipofthehat
I'm in 'Evian.
@atipofthehat Water you talking about?! Do you like your women wet behind the ears when it comes to basic hand-eye coordination?
@wee_ramekin Flo' shame!
@Ophelia
Splashdance!
@atipofthehat Waterworld (minus the suck)
@parallel-lines
It's the least she could do for the big glug.
@parallel-lines
The suck is implied.
9th one down! wtf! "Struggling" does not do it justice.
Water is hard.
Ted Striker's perfect matches.
@major disaster Yes! After I saw the first couple of pics I thought, "Poor girls, they have a serious drinking problem like Ted from 'Airplane'!" …and then I wanted to "drink" a cold bottle of water because I felt dirty.
@major disaster YESSSSSSS damn you got to it first… my first thought when I saw all of these wasn't "ooh, hotttttt"… my first thought was Ted Stryker's drinking problem…
@LittleBookofCalm Ditto
@LittleBookofCalm PLEASE tell me your username is a Black Books reference. :3
@posturegirl YAY!!! So glad someone got it
am mildly obsessed with Black Books and not so mildly obsessed with Dylan Moran… haha
The closed mouth ones make me laugh the hardest.
I'm glad to see that women with drinking problems are getting some attention.
You just have to get it closer to your mouth. Then you can swallow it all, instead of having to wipe it off.
Hydration is important.
You get to the 9th one and IT ALL MAKES SENSE. I see what you did there, bottled water companies.
Breasts make motor skills rull hard, guys.
No wonder I'm so fat–I've been pouring all that water into my mouth instead of on my chin. Just think of all the calories I could have avoided!
@parallel-lines Although the more athletic looking ladies seem to be snorting their water–I need to investigate this approach, let's just try a little water here and…oh wait, I'm dead.
@parallel-lines dude, that totally made me snort-giggle. Hilarious.
Women Struggling to Look at Women Struggling to Drink Water. 12 is the worst for me.
That poor unborn child doesn't what Mama had to do to pay for the cushy delivery suite.
doesn't *know* what Mama had to do…
None of these women have arrived at the sweatiness/red-face level that necessitates drinking water that way.
@jenny_ If you're still wearing eyeshadow, you can probably still sip water instead of making some sort of bukkake/flashdance move.
@jenny_ I actually found this post useful and informative. I did not know so many women exercised while wearing heavy makeup. If indeed these women were exercising heavily (which would account for the looks of beatific pleasure on their faces as they cool down with a quick squirt of water up the nose) then it would appear that these models also lack the normal physiological responses to physical exertion as well. I have new knowledge!
Ah ha ha ha I didn't even notice the alt texts! Thank you, Cawendaw!
People tend to forget that chins need hydrated too.
#6 made me laugh out loud.
IN THE FACE!!!
@redheadedandcrazy Yeah she's the only model who realizes how stupid this is.
Wow, what is wrong with these women? They just can't seem to get it! (On a sidenote, what is the point of this? so they don't mess up their lipstick?? LMAO!!)
I hate everything right now.
God, women are so stupid.
@LaFabuliste Maybe they've got that tunnel vision that girls get.
This is me everytime I forget to grab a straw… Or sometimes, in spite of the fact I'm using a straw.
omg the hovertext! I'm crying!
Why is THIS *not* what a woman drinking water from a bottle would ALWAYS look like?: http://www.dreamstime.com/woman-drinking-water-thumb4399354.jpg
Hahahahahaha! Serious drinking problems, a la "Airplane," remember that movie? "I developed a drinking problem." (splash!)
@carolita I've always been tempted to pour OJ down my face when drinking it in public… "What?! DRINKING PROBLEM."
the hovertext!!! amazing. water is hard, you guys.
Those pour ladies.
@atipofthehat
They're really taking it on the chin.
@atipofthehat
Good flowjob.
@atipofthehat if this was punderdome, you'd be the one leaving.
No wonder we're all fat and dehydrated. We can't drink water and we just laugh at salad. But go ahead and search for "women eating burgers". That's a skill we're apparently all good on.
@mulysasasylum Guys, can we all click on the 'Woman Laughing Alone With Salad' article and move it up to the second 'Most Viewed' spot? Then we can have 'Jerkcircus Stock Photos Of Women' side-by-side, and that would make my OCD little heart so happy!
@wee_ramekin Yessssssssssssssssssssssssss. It is 11:50 Central Time and THIS JUST HAPPENED! I can sleep easy tonight.
@mulysasasylum did this. came up with a picture of Jude Law. <3 u internets
Just scrolled through this on a crowded train. You're welcome, pervs.
@New Hoarder Did it result in a stranger saying an amusingly horrible thing to you?
@Xanthophyllippa Got a couple of smirks from old men. I was all, "NO! This is *my* time!"
I was going to type a comment but then I tried to drink some water and I missed, so it got all over my computer. Sorry.
#12 has the most uninterested face, but maybe because she is one of the few actually getting water into her mouth?
I'm reading these in a public place, and I had to scroll through really fast, blushing. I feel like I just opened my browser in class and RedTube popped up.
@science is sexy@twitter SAME HERE. I feel like I need to turn around & tell all these strangers, "FYI, this is someone else's compilation of completely nonsexual images, which I am reading for humor."
@nonvolleyball I need this to be the text for an automatic email that will go to the IT people in my company every day.
I bet Mallory Ortberg could teach these women a thing or two about water…
@wee_ramekin
SMILE when you say that!
@wee_ramekin The only girl in the world who has mastered Drinking Water. Just look at her… she's Magnificent.
Ahhh, linkbait. Thanks, my pretties.
DAT PREGNANT LADY. "I'm not drinking for two!"
@JessicaLovejoy "Not even for one!"
HahahahahahaSob.
Yes.
They could probably hit their mouths, if they would just open their eyes.
@Beericle Man, you don't want to get that shit in your eyes, it stings!
(This is a joke about how the water is actually semen. I decided to be as subtle as the pictures themselves, to keep on theme).
What if we all just started drinking water this way?
I wanted to scroll through really fast but I also wanted to read the alt tags! My eyyyeessss.
You Don't Miss Your Water (til your shirt gets dry)
"Nailing it!"
I died.
i love these little montages…
these women's lack of coordination must derive from the low blood sugar problems they have from laughing instead of eating that salad.
it's hard to be a gal!
@Jessica Langlois And I was just thinking that we find salad funny, cause we are delirious from dehydration. Women, huh? Amirite?
@Awesomely Nonfunctional true – it's a chicken or egg situation. we are so wacky and self-destructive!
and now I know what costume I will wear next Halloween.
@elsbels good lord, your shirt will be soaking wet by the time the night is over! and/or people will just think you're drunk? and/or THIS IS WHAT THE STOCK PHOTOGRAPHERS WERE PLANNING ON ALL ALONG?!
Just out of curiosity, I did a quick search through my company's stock photo library to see how many photos we had like this. I was surprised to see we only have a few of the water-completely-missing-the-mouth-and-pouring-down-and-soaking-the-shirt variety….and they were all men.
@SuperGogo *catcalls*
hey … equal opportunity objectification is the solution right? right guys?
@redheadedandcrazy Oh I won't deny that one of the images of a very nicely built, topless guy with rivulets of water going down his chest caused me to get…distracted for a few moments.
@SuperGogo OH I won't deny that when a nicely built, topless guy with rivulets of ….. . buhhhhhhhhhh what were we talking about again?
I am feeling like I'm coming down with something, so this was a great reminder that I need to keep hydrated!
What is really sad…I spill water down my shirt when drinking ALL. THE. DAMN. TIME. Don't look like these ladies though. They take their water spillage seriously.
@Awesomely Nonfunctional I routinely overestimate my water-chugging ability and spill some down my front OR I manage to drink in an awkward manner that results similarly. Right there with you.
Celebrity inspiration! http://videogum.com/img/thumbnails/photos/jessica_alba_water.jpg
That's gonna make one messy Halloween costume next year – a lot more challenging than laughing with salad!
@Honeymuff Homewrecker You could morph the two and laugh with a water bottle and a salad.
They don't even look like they're trying
They might spill some in their salad! Gasp!
For some reason this made me think of the old joke, "The optimist looks at the glass and says it's half-full. The pessimist looks at the same glass and says it's half-empty. The Peace Corps volunteer looks at the glass and says, 'Hey! I could take a bath *and* brush my teeth in that!'"
but seriously though, why ARE there so many stock photos of women pouring water on themselves?
follow up question: is this a silly question
@redheadedandcrazy Let's just count ourselves lucky they didn't decide to do milk photos. Yeesh.
The sixth one down — what is she thinking? How did she expect that tactic to work? Simple physics, lady.
Ooh, maybe there could be one of these featuring women eating chocolate (a thing that ignites a probably irrational level of hatred in me). I hate how they all take tiny bites — like, seriously, they bite the corner off of a one-inch Dove whatever the hell it is! Why would you not just eat the damn thing at once? It's small! And then they close their eyes and they smile serenely and I hate them. What the hell is that?
@Hellcat For real, it's like they look satisfied from just that one tiny bite of chocolate and now their life is complete and they never have to eat it again because it was THAT GOOD. It's a lie I tell you! An evil lie! Just one bite of chocolate and I wake up the next morning surrounded by candy wrappers wondering what I did last night……
@Abraxas Don't even get me started on that "upside-down spoon being slowly pulled from maniacally smiling yogurt-eating lady's mouth" business.
Drinking water! wouldnt make you so amazing if it was, you know,
easy
to drink water
Let's not mock these women. After all, porn actresses suffer the very same problem with ejaculate, despite thrusting their tongues out desperate. I think the issue merits further study.
jill
http://inbedwithmarriedwomen.blogspot.com
Not gonna lie, this happens to me regularly. It's not sexy and phallic, though. It's more like, why didn't that girl stop running while she tried to drink if she's clearly so bad at it?
Also, this looks like some terrible greek-hell torture. Always being thirsty, yet never getting any water in your mouth…
@Shannon Conover This happens to me when I'm just sitting at my desk at work. Somehow within the first few sips, there end up being water stains all over my shirt. Failing at life, one water bottle at a time…
@Awesomely Nonfunctional true – it's a chicken or egg situation. we are so wacky and self-destructive!
Careful, sweetheart. You don't want to get any of that stuff in your hair!
@tortietabbie Or in your eye! It stings and fucks up your contact lenses.
you'd think with over 20 years of drinking experience…
@insizlane the pressures of staying hydrated are bound to cause drinking problems.
Is it racist to say "Wow, white chicks are bad at water"?
(No, but it's okay, because I'm white!)
Well, how ELSE are you going to see their breasts when they're wearing shirts?
I saw this and, like all of you, immediately thought of this:
http://women-struggling-to-drink-cdcs.tumblr.com/
I saw this and, like all of you, immediately thought of this:
women-struggling-to-drink-cdcs.tumblr.com [slightly NSFW]
@Manley@twitter dislike.
I can't understand why none of these women are struggling to drink from two water bottles at the same time. Or three. Or an entire "gang" of water bottles.
I use stock photography all day long at work. Never in all my years have I had a client request A woman struggling to drink water. The laughing alone with salad, yes. Sexy water times, no.
I just had an awesomely fun time at work last week searching getty for CHAMPAGNE subsearch POUR and SPRAY. all I can say is w0w. and lol, obv.
This reminds me of the Oozinator.
CNN shout out!
http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2011/11/04/box-lunch-water-struggles-and-the-dippin-demise/?hpt=ea_r5
I like the Brazilian version of this more, "Women Struggling to Drink Water with Cholera".
http://menstrugglingtodrinkmilk.tumblr.com/ That is all.
@Erin Olsen@facebook NSFW, btw!
Oh wow…sexy water time, indeed
E
http://www.oneday-oneband.com
who is the 12th one ?
While I get the point here–it's true, women are objectified all the time, and porn is everywhere, and everything–the iconic drinking problem is really the Gatorade ads, no? And those mostly feature strong manly men. Although the whole "Is it in you?" thing seems weirdly suggestive, given that it doesn't seem like they want to appeal to the wants-things-in-them demographic….
Just why
The best part is they were trying to do the sexy drink and now they just look silly…
@Cassi Stilianessis they don't look silly … they are sexy but I guess you made this comment because you're not a sexy girl
http://executions.tumblr.com/post/13121534165
My favorite is the porn image you guys slipped in right in the middle.
CleanSheetsAndDirtyGirls.blogspot.com
Looks like these ads are supposed to make water look refreshing after a workout for women, and like a money-shot for men.
All these women have drinking problems.
They don't look like they're struggling too much
I guess drinking bottled water in public is the new eating a banana in public…