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"If Carnival and Las Vegas had a baby, this would be the placenta."
—There is great excitement in Florida this fall, as the Florida Marlins become the Miami Marlins, get a new logo, wear new uniforms, and build a new … thing in their new ballpark. It's like the Mets home-run apple, but different. And incredible. [Via]
D'you think I can get one of those for my living room?
@annepersand: I have one in my bedroom for when I hit a homerun. It's yet to be lit…
It's like, if one of those tall Saint candles decided to go to UT to study Philosophy before seminary, but then in the streets of Austin dropped acid and fucked on a Pachinko machine and then 9 months later gave birth in the back of a van from the 70s.
It's designed by Red Grooms! He's actually a really awesome artist. His favorite big installation of mine is called Ruckus Manhattan, which was basically a huge sculpture/caricature of Manhattan, complete with a moving subway car gallery-goers could walk through!
http://www.marlboroughgallery.com/exhibitions/red-grooms-new-york-1975-2011
Wow, that is so beautiful.
If by "excitement" you mean "The Dolphins and Heat aren't in season, so maybe I'll take the kids to that cool new aquarium while the Marlins do stuff in the background" then…yes.
I know people from there get offended when we all make fun of Florida all the time, non-stop…but seriously. If you want us to stop judging you, Florida, you've got to stop doing shit like this. Lasers? Sound effects? Come ON, Florida!
@gobblegirl Hey now, haters! I was like "Lasers and sound effects?! AWESOME" I mean… LASER DOLPHINS. Maybe this is one way I can actually manage to care about MLB. I love you and your eternal ridiculousness, Florida!
(And I am from Seattle, possibly the antithesis of Miami… perhaps I'm just starved for lasers and marlin caricatures.)
@emilylouise not laser dolphins, laser marlins. So strange. So Lisa Frank.
@gobblegirl I just had to Google "difference between marlins and dolphins" and I still don't think I really get it.
@emilylouise Dolphins play football.
[Real answer: Marlins are fish! They're basically swordfish (shut up, ichthyologists). Dolphins are mammals, like whales.]
@gobblegirl What…. how did I not know this? Trust me, I'm up on the dolphin situation, but how did I always think that marlins were another type of dolphin/porpoise type thing? Ahhh I'm the dumbest. Ask A Dumb Person. Or I guess, A Dumb Person Asks Gobblegirl.
call me crazy, but won't a fish tank break when hit by a baseball at high speeds?
@becky@twitter that's what i was thinking! seems like a grim thing to have happen in the middle of a baseball game. granted, it is behind home plate, so balls won't be hit in that direction deliberately (probably only foul tips and stuff), but it still seems a little dicey to me.
@becky@twitter There's usually a protective net behind home plate to stop the ball from going into the low seats. Dunno if they'll put theirs on the outside to protect the tanks. But I'm guessing they also used super-thick reinforced glass with a high pressure threshold.
@candybeans
kids! look at the little nemos and dorys in the tank!
*THWAP!*
*CRASH!*
*GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG*
LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAYYYYYYYY!
@becky@twitter I wonder how much it costs to get season tickets in the splash zone.
@jen325 not sure but i bet it'll be easier to do the wave in that section.
@becky@twitter Oh yeah, and it'll look especially cool because they'll all be wearing those plastic hooded ponchos.
@becky@twitter From the picture, and also the fact that that's some of the most valuable ad space in the stadium (the cameras face that way every single at-bat), I think it's only glass on one side.
Oklahoma City called. They want their awful, ill-advised color scheme back.
If Liberace were alive, even he would tell them to tone it down a notch.
"The display will incorporate water, lasers, sound effects and
caricatures of Marlins."
I just have to be there the first time this puppy lights up.
@Tuna Surprise it's going to look like a neon version of a tie dye shirt i proudly owned and wore in 8th grade. this shit better happen.
@Tuna Surprise: At this point, I think the Marlins are already caricatures of themselves.
Since when did Anne Frank start designing stuff for ballparks?
@peculiarity i think you mean lisa frank.
@peculiarity I dunno if you meant Lisa Frank, but either way I'm ugly laughing at my desk.
@peculiarity: Will the ballpark be known as The Annex?
@becky@twitter but that's the best mix-up ever
@backstagebethy rest assured, just like @rootmarm, i wheezy laughed for about 10 minutes when i read this.
@becky@twitter Oh shitcakes. I totally did mean Lisa Frank. I'm a monster!
I'm just gonna go crawl in a hole now. ::totes embarrassed::
@peculiarity HAHA i figured you did. it's okay. either way you made some of us chuckle.
Ok, I'm interested in baseball now.
Oh my god it's a Blingee come to life! I LOVE IT.
Impossible to look at, impossible to look away.
It's like a Gay Pride parade float designed by a team of 8th grade girls.
Actual, out-loud response at my desk: "That's not real. THAT'S NOT REAL." Holy guac.
As though I could possibly miss baseball season more. "Exquisite Tackiness" is the name of my new band and our first show is going to be in the Florida Marlins ballpark.
I live here. Like, literally minutes away. Trust when I say the excitement does not exactly abound.