Thursday, November 10, 2011


Hot Qream in the Summer Sun

Qream finally has a qommercial, and it looqs disqusting! But: "Guy in a pink floatie noodle drinking strawberry Qream from the bottle is my new hero," says Qreamaster cyclist Jaya Saxena, and, as usual, she's qompletely right.

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The Lady of Shalott

Yep, Qream looqs like semen.


@The Lady of Shalott I agree. Qream is not doing itself any favors with the clear bottle. Ick!


@The Lady of Shalott Qreamen.


I think I might just stop reading now because Qreamaster Cyclist is the GPOAT


@leon.saintjean PGOAT?


Aaaah Qreamaster Cycle. Edith forgive me but that is too fantastic.

Edith Zimmerman

@MollyculeTheory THAT is too fantastic. QILLING IT!


@Edith Zimmerman Bjorq is a lucky woman.


@leon.saintjean I thought they broqe up?


@leon.saintjean PS. Mollycule said she can make us Qream Dippin' Dots but she doesn't want to get busted stealing liquid nitrogen from work. You're a food guy, do they make nitrogen tanks for the home-cook?


@punkahontas - They're baq together and have a place in Parq Slope.

ps - Um you can get it, but I guess I just grew up w/ construction stuff so I feel like anything they will sell you counts as "home use". But I'm terrified too do it because I have no outdoors, and I heard that if you spill a vat of liquid nitrogen you can asphyxiate or something? I dunno. But we should definitely have a liquid nitrogen party somewhere.


@leon.saintjean Molly is a pro! We'll leave it to her, and we'll assist. You have to trust someone who carries dry ice in her purse to be up on all the safety issues.

Also, last I heard Bjorq was looking for a place in Brooqlyn Heights. I guess I'm not up on all my qossip.


@leon.saintjean I heard that if you spill a vat of liquid nitrogen it will temporarily slow down a T-1000, but he'll eventually melt and reform and still be trying to kill you.


@leon.saintjean @punkahontas Nobody died at the 'Pinup - Mollycule: 1 OSHA: 0! (JK it was totally safe all along). It's only dangerous if you have gobs of liquid nitrogen & no ventilation whatsoever. I make cannibal Dippin' Dots out of cell suspensions all the time - Qream would be a cakewalk. Liquid nitrogen party!


@punkahontas @MollyculeTheory this is awesome!

I smell burnt toast

This is everything I hoped it would be.


H-65 in the house, yeah


Oh man, as far as I can tell, it's still not available in Canada. I was going to bring a bottle of Baja Rosa (it was a gift! But why?!) to the Vancouver 'Pinnup, to identify myself, but now that I've seen Qream in action, it's clearly not the same at all. :(


@missvancity Is Baja Rosa the same as Tequila Rose? Because I unabashedly love that stuff.


@tortietabbie Maybe? It is like, strawberry cream with tequila in it. It's been sitting in my fridge, taunting me with it's grossness, since May.


@missvancity Ohhhhhhh yeah, that's the stuff!


@tortietabbie If you come to Vancouver, I'll make it worth your while! *eyebrow waggle*

/with a bottle of Baja Rosa


Because nothing says "warm weather fun" like faux dairy on the rocks! Qream: Like A Daiquiri, But In A Nightmare.


@City_Dater Milk was a bad choice!


I feel like this commercial is not right for their brand image. I think there should be at least one pastel-colored velvet throne somewhere, and like, glossy white floors. Maybe some hotpants? Gold platforms?

Also, Qream should never be consumed in the daylight! It says it right on the bottle. (Or it should.)


@punkahontas OMG what if it glowed in the darq?


@punkahontas PASTEL COLOURED VELVET THRONE? You have a beautiful mind!


Qream is the number one reason that I think we're actually all characters in a novel by Jonathen Lethem or somebody- something where the plotline itself makes sense, but there's this ridiculous, fantastical stuff going on around the edges and in the background.

(Also: it's aimed at women. How are we going to market it? By objectifying other women!)


@Saaoirse "We need to you to make a one minute spot to market this new liquor to women."
"Nude. Liquor. Women. Gotcha. We'll have it by Friday."

fondue with cheddar

@Saaoirse It's marketed toward dudes, to make them think that serving it on your boat will make bikini'd women flock to you.

Heidi Holland

My favorite part is the awkward shot of a Coast Guard helicopter at 0:02. I hope they have desiqnated party boat drivers.


@Heidi Holland Haha, hence my comment above. I contract with the Coast Guard, so I was nerdily excited about that.

Edith Zimmerman

@Heidi Holland I believe that is a QOAST GUARD HELIQOPTER???


This is maqing me laugh and throw up in my mouth a little at the same time. And because of this site, I can't see the word "cream" anywhere without breaqing into a giggle fit. Thanqs, Hairpin.


Everything about this made me laugh so, so much.


Oh. I feel like I have to scrub out my mouth and eyes with celery after witnessing that.

Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse

OMG I am so late but did anyone catch this on How I Met Your Mother last week?????

Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse

@Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse OF COURSE TED DRINKS QREAM


@Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse I JUST WATCHED THAT TONIGHT AND WONDERED IF IT WAS QREAM!! But I figured it had to be some other kind of mysterious opaque liqqqqqqour. So glad someone else saw it!


@klibberfish YES! me too. i will always love you, QREAMIE<3.


too many film burns, not enough interesting.


Are they drinking PINTS of this stuff? I could handle it if it was in a short glass with ice like Bailey's, or maybe a wine glass at a pinch, but huge plastic beakers and the bottle that looks like a Barbie accessory... it's too gross for words.


Where is T-pain? Since they're on a boat and all.


AHHHHHHHHHH Qreamaster Cycle

Scene: Guggenheim, 2006.
I got to the lady wearing glass deer legs and went NOPE, and went & hid in the gift shop until my husband finished looking.

fondue with cheddar

Qream People: Hey, you on the boat! Want some free alcohol?
Boat People: HELLS YEAH!
Qream People: There's a catch, though. You have to let us film you for our commercial, and look like you're having fun.
Qream People: Here you go...
Boat People: (tastes Qream) Wow...this shit is nasty. BUT IT'S FREE! WOOOOOO! (dives off boat)


Qream People: Um, also, could you have that pasty, non-size-4 friend of yours out of the shot?
Boat People: Get below decks, Cathy! Free alcohol, WHOOOO!

fondue with cheddar

@SuperGogo Cathy jumped overboard to hang with Pink Noodle Guy. Keepin' it real.

Hey, did it bug anyone else that black bikini girl's top is too small (:10)?


This commercial looks like it was made in about 1993, at least 15 years ago.


They didn't get very qreative.

Catalina Buenhombre@twitter

why are all these people white?

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