Friday, November 4, 2011


Checking Back in With Qream

What's qrappenin' with Qream? From a recent press release that's billing it as a "great fit for Valentine's Day," Qream is described as "making a name for itself as the vodka-based liqueur with a creamy-yet-light texture, comparable in calories to a serving of red wine and packaged in a designer perfume-inspired bottle influenced by Marie Antoinette." Indeed, there are few competitors in the "vodka-based liqueur with a creamy-yet-light texture that's comparable to red wine, calorie-wise, and comes in a Marie Antoinette-ish bottle" category — for now.

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I am crossing my fingers that the bar where the Nashville Pinup is taking place this evening has Qream.


@QuiteAimable BYOQ?


@arizonatime I'm afraid this place is kinda classy? I'm already bringing a bag full of glitter.


@QuiteAimable Maybe there are mini bottles of Qream and you could sneak a few in your purse. See you tonight!


@QuiteAimable Aren't you qrossing your fingers?


@QuiteAimable ? I'm hopeless at deciphering.


@meattubs So Damn Excited!


@QuiteAimable Doh! That was an easy one too.


new Qream idea: bonbons with qream-based fondant centers?


@rootmarm Like a chocolate covered cherry? Qherry?


"...there are few competitors in the 'vodka-based liqueur with a creamy-yet-light texture that's comparable to red wine, calorie-wise, and comes in a Marie Antoinette-ish bottle' category — for now."

You just gave away the next Kardashian business plan--Qream's rival, Kreme.


@applestoapples kreme - for the divorcée with klass.


@becky@twitter Like Qream, you can use Kreme in baked goods. There's a good recipe for Sham of a Wedding Cake printed inside the collector's box.


@applestoapples mail in ten kreme bottle tops and a SASE, and in just 6-8 weeks, you'll receive one of kris & kim's unused wedding gifts in the mail.


"Qrafting with Qream" is qoming. You've been warned.


@Jaya I am quivering with eqcitement!


@Jaya Do you ever sit back and say to yourself, "I, the blogosphere's foremost expert on Qream..."


@annepersand If you mean to ask if that's how I sign my name, the answer is yes.


I honestly don't know why it took me until now to realize just how overtly yonic that bottle is.

Elvis Costello's Spectacles

@HydrogenJukebox Challenge for the day: slip "overtly yonic" into as many conversations as possible.


@HydrogenJukebox Cannot. Unsee.

Jessica Poynter@facebook

@HydrogenJukebox It was the first thing I saw! So I read the first Hairpin Qream-related article and comments, expecting lots of people giggling over this. There was no one else so I was too embarrassed to say anything.


comparable to red wine? ... really?



From a purely caloric (or "qaloric") standpoint, this might be accurate.

fondue with cheddar

@redheadedandcrazy It's dairy- and laqtose-free!


Yesss I was hoping for a Qream post because I thought of "together in electric qreams" and was afraid I wouldn't be able to use it

The Lady of Shalott

Is it...already time to start thinking about Valentine's Day? What? What happened to Christmas? Do people usually start thinking about Valentine's Day three months in advance? Is THIS where I'm screwing up Valentine's Day?

Elvis Costello's Spectacles

@The Lady of Shalott QRISTMAS


@Elvis Costello's Spectacles But what about Thanqsgiving??

fondue with cheddar

@Ophelia I'm holding out for St. Patriq's Day.



@Elvis Costello's Spectacles CHANUQQAH


@The Lady of Shalott Life of a marketer. I'm already living in Fall 2012. MY LIFE IS PASSING BEFORE MY EYES.


Every time I watch Parks and Rec I secretly hope Entertainment 7/20 will promote Qream in some way.

Vera Knoop

@cosmia It's a perfeqt fit!


@cosmia The snakejuice bottle is like... kind of the same, isn't it?


@cosmia A Qream sponsorship could be the perfect way to pull them out of their banqruptcy!

Lady Humungus

@annepersand Snake Juice TOTALLY looks like a bottle of Qream, only it's not milky, it's clear.


So the one time I saw Qream in person at my neighborhood beverage store (I may or may not live the hood), turning the corner and seeing those Marie Antoinette inspired bottles was...startling...in their unabashed qandor. Or maybe I should just go with Jane's glittery shoe description: them shits was straight up ho-baggy.


@sox I saw it in a store last week. There was only one bottle on an empty-ish shelf. Did they have a run on Qream?!

(UGH that sounds so gross.)


@sox The one time Ive seen Qream in the wild, it was displayed behind the bar at a somewhat classy restaurant. Literally, displayed. They had both flavors, and the two bottles were displayed in front of all the other bottles, like kind of set apart and in front of all the other liquor bottles. It was a bit startling


Edith and Jane: Can we please have a happy hour that involves Qream and that NutLiquor peanut butter vodka Gawker was on about yesterday? PB&Q maybe?


@Layla My inner 11-year-old is delighted both by the existence of an item called "NutLiquor" as well as a PB&J-themed cocktail.

Does Axl have a jack?

@Layla Ah, NutLiquor. It caused me to have an actual out-loud giggle fit in the liquor store. Alone.

sarah girl

Every time I go to the liquor store I look for Qream, and am left disappointed. Although if I saw it, I don't really know what I'd do, besides squeal and whisper-scream "Hairpiiin!" while touching the bottle.

Because hell if I'm gonna buy that.


@Sarah H. This is like how I get mad every time I can't find Schweddy Balls ice crea


@Sarah H. I actually just saw Qream in my local liquor store last week! There I was, minding my own business and paying for my wine when BAM! 2 bottles of Qream (one in each flavor!) were staring me right in the face. I sqream laughed and the clerk looked at me like I was a freak. I was so happy.

PS, the bottles were super dusty and I was a little bit sad. But not sad enough to take one home and dust it off.


Needs new flavors:
- Cherry cough syrup
- Last year's Halloween chocolate egg filling (or maybe the year before? It rolled under the couch)
- Pepto
- Qi Lime

no way

Inspired by Marie Antoinette is one way to look at it. Looks more like low-budg Courvoisier to me.

no way



"qrappening" might be the greatest qreamed word.


@mites I'm having such a hard time NOT pronouncing that as "crappening." And that's just not something I want to think about over cocktails.


It reminds me of the Tarina Tarentino makeup packaging at Sephora. Or that Jessica Simpson Dessert Beauty stuff they used to sell at Rite Aid. Shoddy girliness.


"Let them eat qake."


Oh! I was hoping this would come up again, because the other day I was at the liquor store with my boyfriend (who has his bartender's license) and he saw the Qream and was like "huh, that looks good." And of course I, knowing all about it thanks to the Hairpin, said, "What?? No. It's like Bailey's but not an ok color or appetizing in any way." He stood his ground though. I may have to get him to try it.

Does Axl have a jack?

I just spent approximately a minute and a half pondering whether the bar at which tonight's Columbus Pinup is taking place would be likely to have Qream. The best hope, considering the establishment, seems to be either via hipster irony or if someone who places the liquor order reads the Hairpin.


I recently disqovered that the qlosest boozahol shop to me ACTUALLY STOCKS (aqtually stoqs? TOO MUCH??) Qream. In both qolors. How long I will manage to resist its siren call, no one knows.


I actually tried Qream this week! I work in a bar, and sometimes they send us free bottles of stuff to entice us to buy more. It didn't work. We live in the peach state, so I found it fitting that we were sent the peach flavor. I tried a tiny bit and was surprised by how not disgusting it was. Don't get me wrong, I would not drink this. But it didn't taste like alcohol. It was very peachy, so we made a peach smoothie! Sold it and they drank it. It was interesting.

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