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A Sweet Valley Movie Update
"That is moving forward. I need to talk to the producers and see how much I can say about it. It's closer to reality than ever but I can't freely talk about it. … I want it to be wonderfully nostalgic. I want it to be to the '80s what American Graffiti was to the [early] '60s. I want it to be looking back on a really cool time and enjoying yourself and I want it to be glamorous and colorful and bubblegum and a feast for the senses. That's my plan."
—Diablo Cody inches closer to bringing Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield to the big screen, where they have always belonged. May Elizabeth ruin Jessica. [Via]
Just in time for the book!
http://www.indiegogo.com/SVH
OMG. I literally just genuflected.
@FoxyRoxy Also, yes, tacky to reply to myself but, especially after the book, I am still, forever, and always Team Jessica.
Best news I've heard all day!!
SCREAM! I am rather excited, especially as I read 'Sweet Valley Confidential' in the space of one (drunken) evening, occasionally annoying my boyfriend by occasionally shouting 'OH NO SHE DIDN'T!'
@Miss Cay That book was terrible (awesome)! And really just reinforced what I suspected as a young girl – Todd is about as exciting as watching white paint dry while eating vanilla ice cream.
Also – Mrs. Wakefield said the f-word – AT THE COUNTRY CLUB!
@Bebe Todd is beige, beige, BEIGE. I always secretly wanted to be Jessica out of the twins anyway, because (despite the fact that the books tried to make her seem totally dumb which I doubt she was) she always seems to have more fun.
@Miss Cay Meanwhile, Beige is like, "Even *I* think Todd is dull."
@Miss Cay My experience of reading the book was defined by the stomach virus I had at the time. I read much of it in a semi-delirious state on the bathroom floor. Awful yet… the different layers of disgust lined up rather nicely.
@Miss Cay AND WHAT DID THEY DO TO WINSTON?
@Yahtzii DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON WINSTON. Why Francine Pacal? WHYYYYYY?
@Miss Cay And where the fuck was Crazy Margo? WE WERE ROBBED.
So, like…I'm not the only one who read that last book, right? 'Cos that shit was bad. BAD I tell you.
I remember being really excited for this show when it came out, watching half an episode and being kinda like, "Oh."
@parallel-lines — I actually watched it for almost the whole season before giving up.
Also, I was TOTALLY into the Sweet Valley Saga books. I must have read them 30 times in junior high. Oh, the angst! I then moved on to V.C Andrews, for new and improved emotional scars.
@parallel-lines horrible! Jessica and Todd? NEVER.
@yaaronet I still haven't gotten over what Samantha did to Amanda.
@yaaronet VC ANDREWS OPEN THREAD
VC ANDREWS OPEN THREAD
VC ANDREWS OPEN THREAD
is what I have been agitating for for years around here. We've come so close so many times.
@Lamar Clarkson @yaaronet Oh my goddd the Sagas. I also read those over and over, and they're still on my bookshelf in case I have a hankering for some historical Sweet Valley goodness.
@melis OH CAN WE DISCUSS HEAVEN BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ON THE SUBJECT OF THAT PARTICULAR SERIES.
@melis — WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE? Incest, rape, arsenic, deformed doll-like children and daddy issues, hurrah!
@Jolie Kerr Everything I know about the Willies I learned from that (the best) series. Also they had the best deaths. Death by riding a horse too close to the ocean! Death by circus lion!
@Lamar Clarkson Elisabeth (see what they did there? with the S???) dying on her way to Jessamyn (no comment) is what got me every time. So much tragedy in a long family of perfect size sixes!
@Jolie Kerr YES WE CAN
ARE YOU BACK FROM VACATION?
YES WE CAN
@melis I'm obsessed with the scene in which Heaven and her brother are stealing the grocery bags out of the back of a car and Heaven ends up with one filled with, like, aluminum foil and wax paper.
@yaaronet – When I say love, I mean look back at young self voraciously reading those books and tell myself to LOOK AT YOUR LIFE, LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES.
Also, I only just now realized (after googling to see if I read the Heaven books at all) that half her books were ghost-written. I feel so cheated. Ann M. Martin, Francine Pascal, and now V.C. Andrews? MY CHILDHOOD WAS A SHAM.
@yaaronet Yes! It was so sad because Elisabeth seemed to be such a natural at the horse-stunts (better than Jessamyn, even? here we go again). But I suppose if she had lived and married Tom Wilkens (…) that would have made Sweet Valley Confidential a strange tale of vowel-shifted incest on top of everything else.
@Jolie Kerr @yaaronet @melis I used to smoosh pieces of white bread flat and eat them in front of the heater, pretending I lived in a mountain shack.
Also, from the My Sweet Audrina wikipedia page: My Sweet Audrina is a 1982 novel by V. C. Andrews. It was the only standalone novel without incest published during Andrews' lifetime.
THAT'S the description.
@Slapfight I am in heartshape symbol with that description.
@Jolie Kerr Oh God and have you ever tried to find out about V.C. Andrews' life? WHY HAS NO ONE PUBLISHED AN UNAUTHORIZED BIOGRAPHY
@Lamar Clarkson Have you read the SVH book A Killer On Board, during which Jessica has to jump from the back of one horse to another to avoid falling down a cliff (I know) and is inspired by the thought of Jessamyn? Because that *completely* what you'd think of if near death.
I must've blacked out this portion of my preteen years, so I vaguely remember this tv show? wasn't it immediately followed by a show about like, a high school on a ship…? help.
@clarissapalooza Yes! That was Breaker High, starring none other than a young Ryan Gosling.
@Juliana@twitter ohhh my god thank you! the google image search for that is unreal.
@clarissapalooza Holy crap, I thought I was the only one that remembers Breaker High! For extra fun, check out the show's intro: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lqmwEYxov8
@AmeliaBadelia so. many. bucket hats.
No, I'm not going to accept the fact that Edith is Team Elizabeth. You can't make me. Nope.
@Jolie Kerr IT'S BASED ON WHAT SHE DID AT THE BEGINNING OF SWEET VALLEY CONFIDENTIAL although admittedly I didn't actually finish that book.
@Jolie Kerr I always resented Elizabeth because I felt like I was supposed to identify with her on account of being bookish/smart/not a problem child. Team Jessica!
@Jolie Kerr Wait, NOBODY is Team Elizabeth. And in the beginning of SVC, she cries after sex. Spoiler alert, Liz sucks.
@Yahtzii I used to be Team Elizabeth, a bit, because I was nerdy and bookish and introverted and thought she seemed much better than Jessica, and then realised as I got older how incredibly awful she was. The tipping point was the line about how, during a one-hour drive, she stopped for "coffee and a stretch" twice. "Smart girls don't fall asleep at the wheel." (She'd been up all night lying in wait for a burglar, admittedly, but still.)
Does anyone remember the Sweet Valley Twins Christmas Edition where the twins were gifted matching dolls that then transported them to some sorta fairyland where they were having adventures with two identical prince brothers?
@ginalouise No, but now I must find it!!
@Bebe also magical is the SUPER THRILLER edition where Elizabeth befriends a ghost at the carnival.
@ginalouise Oh my goodness I can't even begin to say how happy I am someone else remembers the carnival ghost book!
@ginalouise magic christmas i think? Where they had to save the kingdom from prince dorian and adair's evil uncle? And each twin ended up with the twin identical to their twin in personality? which is really creepy if you think about it
(also, worst sentence ever)
@ginalouise
I remember them ALL. I have an SVH database in my brain. Its both my gift and my curse.
@highcuts forever!
yeahhh! then the ghost tries to kill Elizabeth. So good!
@ginalouise SCISSORS AND SOCKS
HANDS ON CLOCKS
DOLLS HARLEQUIN
I am so glad somebody else remembers this one! It was my favourite, especially the mermaid queen who snarked Jessica for having blonde hair and looking old. Also the evil Medwin. Cracked out fantasy Sweet Valley = BEST.
@cutselvage WHAT. How do I not know this one? SVH + evil mermaids? WORLDS COLLIDE. I hatelove both so much.
The title of this post should be "Diablo Cody totally nails it with accurate description of what SVH movie should be like, Bananab0at pleasantly surprised".
http://1bruce1.livejournal.com/profile
it's not my blog/i've never contributed, but i totally loved this when i worked in an office and was on the internet all day!! (okay, i still love it.)
@mezzanine Oh LIVEJOURNAL. I used to desperately want to write recaps for that! Why do people on the internet (myself included) love recaps of things they've already read and seen?! Recaps, recaps for all!
@mezzanine My bestie is one of the mods and she is a WONDERFUL person, who deserves every bit of public promotion. I normally slam a link to the blog on everything sweet valley related that I read, so I'm glad you did it for me!
EDIT: She's also a hairpinner. HI IRINA IF YOU READ THIS! And now I am going to check my email, because I am literally the worlds worst friend and do not check my email for days at a time, which means she generally sends me three emails by the time i check because I am the worst.
@lovelettersinhell irinaauthor?!? her recaps are my favorites!!!!! i have actually only read like 3 sweet valley books ever, but i still love those recaps so bad
I totally get what she's saying in the last line of this quote, and I want to see that! Glamorous, check. Bubblegum, double check! But comparing Sweet Valley High to American Graffiti is a little bit of a stretch. Just a little!
What happened to you, Amarilis? You were so so pretty and confident enough to rock one name!
@JessicaLovejoy Also I saw the 1st Todd (RYAN JAMES BITTLE I had allllll the actors' names from the TV show memorized) in a Lifetime or Hallmark Channel movie a year or so. Whoa! He was replaced by a goofier-looking Todd after the 1st season. =-(
I never read these books and I now I feel like I robbed my younger self of something wonderful. Sorry, younger me. I ruined you.
OMG YES PLEASE I CAN'T WAAAAIT
Remember that reality show about models on MTV? They lived in a house in Miami? And there were those identical twin blond models? I nominate them for Jessica and Elizabeth. (Also, I miss that show.)
@Layla 8th and ocean! I thought i was the only one who ever watched that show… And yes those blonde twins would totally work!
@Layla 8th & Ocean. That was a GOOD show. The Acuvue twins? Possibly.
I have asked this 137 times: WHAT THE F IS A LAVALIER?
@Lemonnier I was going to say "some kind of necklace". Luckily Wikipedia knows more than me: "A lavalier is a type of jewelry, consisting of a pendant, sometimes with one stone, suspended from a necklace."
@Alice Or, if you're in Greek Life in college, it's a necklace with a guy's fraternity letters on it as the suspended charm which, when given to you, is like, such a big deal, swoon!
You can also get one with your own letters, which is cool and all, but most ladies prefer wearing their symbol over their own letters. (Ie, i'd wear an anchor instead of a Delta and a Gamma)
I can't get over how baffled the singer of the theme seems to be at the very concept of twins. "Is it possible? Could it be? Two girls…who look the same?!"
@MoxyCrimeFighter Well, based on the majority of the books, the only other twins to exist in the world were either the fantasy prince twins, or the evil Margo twins, so I understand the incredulity.
Oh man, I just had to comment on this article, even though this is the last comment and no one will ever read it.
I would see the hell out of this movie, I loved Sweet Valley High growing up. One of my favorites was one of the special 2 parters where they (Liz, Todd, Jess, and Ken) get stuck in Death Valley and no cell phones to call for help. I never found the second part where they are saved, though. Because of that, the book is most likely the reason why I find deserts scary, haha.
Also, did anyone have the dolls that came out in the mid-90s? I had the Elizabeth doll because she was my favorite, but my parents bought me extra clothes that were Jessica's (some pajama party set) that were slutty. They were red with black lace for goodness sake. As a little kid I was appalled, but now I would totally be ok with them, way better than Elizabeth's boring wool pajamas.