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Thursday, October 6, 2011

128

Your Forever Admirer: A Love Song for Jonathan Taylor Thomas

When I was 12 years old, I fell in love for the first time. After two years on the rollercoaster of un-requitement, I gave up and carried on, with a broken heart. His name was Jonathan Taylor Thomas. These are the real surviving documents of that love:

His Light
As constant and beautiful simply
as light in far-away sky
I dream of the light in darkness
And welcome it when I awaken
I can only hope that I awake
from darkness of not holding him.

I am a Cancer: gentle, sentimental, inventive and original, mega moody, organized and methodical, affectionate, loyal and devoted.
He is a Virgo: Inventive and original, sense of humor in tough times, organized and methodical, animated and talkative, affectionate, full of magnetism, loyal and devoted.

I love: Animals and the environment, celebritys, my family, Jodie Foster, him, shopping.
He loves: Acting, animals and the environment, getting into mischief, his family, Jodie Foster, Anthony Hopkins, the mall, hats.

My dream guy: Cocky, intelligent, cute, loves animals, thoughtful, romantic, affectionate.
His dream girl: Intelligent, cute, likes to travel, vegatarian, likes to fish, upbeat.

People describe me as: Mature, intelligent, upbeat, perky, fun, pretty, generous, thoughtful, romantic, talkative, center of attention, creative, affectionate, moody, emotional.
People describe him as: Mature, mischievous, intelligent, logical, sweet, romantic, upbeat, affectionate, original, trusting, honest, gentle, charismatic, cocky.

Why I Need Him
I would cry for help
But no one will answer
Which is why I
would cry for help
Family thinks me asleep
Friends are past curfews
Dog is resting
All I want is him
I need his shoulder
I want his hand
I desire his lips
And
I connect to his soul

Jonathan:
I am starting this book to give to you when I meet you. Right now I am 13, and you are 14. We watched Lauren Hutton’s show last night, with you on it. Your politics are approved by my mom, by the way. Today I saw Tom And Huck. Kate has decided she KINDA likes Brad Renfro. She thinks he has nice eyes. Not as good as yours!
Tons O’ Love (Really, Love!),
Summer

JTT:
I hate [redacted] sometimes. I wish I knew you today, I could call you and everything would be alright. When the person you love loves you back, life in general, I think, must be a lot better, you know. I think I dreamt of you, but I don’t quite remember.

Dear Jonathan,
I love you I think. Who knows? But there are lots of other guys... Still, when I see you, or read something you said, I just have this feeling like: This Is It. I don’t know. But I do care for you, if nothing else. I got another postcard. Those are so sad to me, so impersonal, you don’t even know who I am! Oh well...
Love,
Summer
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Jon,
I don’t know anymore. Maybe it’s not worth it. I probably won’t ever meet you. <Sigh>
But I do love you...
xoxo
Summ

Jon,
A full cycle in 5 pages. I still love you more than ANYONE knows, even Kate. I don’t know what to do, now, everything is hopeful and depressing also.
Love,
Summer, your forever admirer

Jon,
I don’t think about you quite as much lately but whenever I see you I get the most intense feelings. It’s kinda like you don’t effect everything now, but you effect all the most important stuff more than you ever did...
Summer
[a bunch of hearts drawn here]

Jonathan,
I rarely pine for you these days but you still effect my life. I keep comparing guys to you, I still have rituals (wishing on stars, rocks...) and looking back on 3 years (“our” anniversary is Halloween) I still feel as if I kinda love you. It’s all screwed up if I do, though. I need to move on and let it happen if it’s going to happen.
Summer
xoxo


Late
The clock blinks 1:31
And this morning I woke early
I’m more tired than ever
I wanna fall asleep
But you are all I can think of
Honey, you’re the one
With you in L.A.
And me in Austin
These thoughts won’t ever let me be

Summer Anne Burton is now applying her obsessive tendencies to drawing every member of the Baseball Hall of Fame.



128 Comments / Post A Comment

Nina Kauffman@twitter

Did you..... steal my diary? Because I'm pretty sure I wrote *nearly* the exact same thing at that age. Young girls are so weird.

becky@twitter

i wrote something similar about jonathan brandis.

cherrispryte

@becky@twitter YES.

closetalker11

@becky@twitter AH YES! I was just coming here to say that!

KikiCollins

@closetalker11 Me three! My BFF was super into JTT, and we would go halfsies on TeenBeat and TigerBeat magazines and split up the articles and posters.

Woe unto to the editor who approved a JTT photo and JB interview to be on opposite sides of a glossy page!

julia

@becky@twitter My older sister was heavy into Jonathan Brandis (Sea Quest? Anyone? Anyone?). It was a perfect match because they were both 5'7".

dj pomegranate

@becky@twitter NO JONATHAN BRANDIS WAS MINE MINE. He was perfect and I was going to marry him.

Brittabot

@becky@twitter Sea Quest, YES!! Me and my sister would tape it every week and then watch it, along with The Renegade (my sister was in luuuv with Lorenzo Lamas), for years to come. There must be a vhs of it somewhere in my parents' house, but I dare not look.

honeybadger

my elementary school boyfriend (yes) wrote to JTT and gave me the impersonal postcard he got in response. i think i still have it somewhere. i cherished it...until i dumped him for another boy who gave me a cardboard mailbox full of chocolate.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@honeybadger: Tradin' up!

silver flats

@honeybadger I wrote JTT a letter when I was eight years old (on that big green paper that you use to learn how to write the alphabet), confessing my love for him and also asking him why there was so much hate/ racism/ violence in the world. About six weeks later, I received a postcard with his face on it. The message was brief and mostly encouraging me to go see his new movie ("Thank you for writing to me. Though I cannot answer all of your questions, I think you should go see Wild America."). Such a let down. I asked my posters of JTT why he couldn't answer my questions about racism and violence, but they didn't know. I think I threw the postcard away in a fit of anger over the situation.

honeybadger

@silver flats i'm so glad i wasnt the only one who asked my posters things.

dg
dg

@honeybadger did anyone else have to change in their closet because they felt awkward getting naked in front of the 100s and 100s of posters that were on their walls. I also kissed Lance Bass' poster goodnight every night. mmmmm

silver flats

@dg I totally did that too! I had a JTT poster on all four walls so I changed behind my dresser/ bookcase where I couldn't be seen. I also kissed each poster every night before going to bed. Wow I was a crazed fangirl.

meattubs

Oh. My. God. That was simply amazing. I love you for posting this. It will effect everything, even though I might never meet you.

Yahtzii

This is amazing. It's like, tween Edwardina Cullen.

Also, I don't mean to shit on your lovely post, but you could never love JTT like 12-year-old me could. Bitch.

Miss Zarves

How does JTT want a vegetarian who loves to fish? That doesn't make any sense. HE'S SETTING YOU UP TO FAIL.

madamvonsassypants

@Miss Zarves One day my uncle was fishing on a seemingly deserted river in British Columbia. After a while a boat came up with two guys in it. One came out and hung out fishing with my uncle. It was totally JTT, and I almost died when I found out.

I will add here that I also almost met him on set in Vancouver of whatever Christmas movie he was in then. AND I had so many Bop, Teen Beat, Tiger Beat, Big Bopper and whatever else posters all over my room. I knew his birthday and all of the above listed likes by heart.

libs

I love this.

frigwiggin

JTT: looking more like Val Kilmer every day.

madamvonsassypants

@figwiggin Hot Val Kilmer or Fat Val Kilmer? If it's the latter, you know things I don't know and I want links. LINKS!

frigwiggin

@madamvonsassypants Fortunately, Hot Val Kilmer. Although there's still something a little weird about his face.

http://www.kcweb.com/superm/supermg/j_tt1.jpg

Look at that and tell me that doesn't look at least kind of like Val Kilmer. (Please, really. I need validation.)

madamvonsassypants

@figwiggin I can see it. Bad hair though, man.

Also, is it weird that I have three tabs dedicated to JTT open at my work computer right now? I... think I'm an adult.

frigwiggin

@madamvonsassypants I keep re-Googling him when I get new tidbits of information from this thread. Like, pro-lifer, whattttt? If my work is tracking my movement, I'm sure they think I've been replaced by a preteen version of myself.

unfortumissy

@figwiggin The best part of that is that Val Kilmer was my first L-O-V-E. When I was in the 4th grade I came home and watched Tombstone after school almost every day. I think I had a diary like this, but for an adult man, which makes it a little less cute and more horrifying.

madamvonsassypants

@figwiggin From my Googling, Entertainment Weekly is coming out with a Reunions issue soon, which includes the Home Improvement cast. I watched the preview video for glimpses, and while there isn't one from that show, there are some pretty awesome other reunions. http://popwatch.ew.com/2011/10/06/this-weeks-cover-the-reunions-issue/

backstagebethy

@unfortumissy I'm yer huckleberry.

What a great movie.

violetta

@figwiggin I'm more disturbed by the fact that he does't appear to have changed his hairdo since he was 12...

Ginger Slap

we have the same birthday, September 8th, I thought he was destined to be mine.

QuiteAmiable

I met my best friends when we were twelve in gym class, where I had started a "Jonathan Taylor Thomas Anonymous" group. It was kinda like a support group, except all that we did was talk about how much we loved him.

Katie Heaney

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

cc
cc

you can have JTT, i'll have devon sawa <3

ps love your lion king diary XD

alice b. tchotchke

@cc Yes! My 10 year old self had many convoluted theories as to why girls that loved Devon Sawa were so much cooler than the JTT-obsessed.

wee_ramekin

@cc I wonder if she chose it because he was the voice of Simba, or if it was just a coincidence?

oh, disaster

@cc I was so jealous of Christian Ricci that she got to kiss him twice.

happy go lucky scamp

@andrea disaster me too!!!
the amount of times i watched that film, well just the part where casper was devon sawa

oh, disaster

@sparkles Definitely THE best part of that movie, though the kiss in Now & Then is the one that I really loved. So awkward and sweet.

And CHRISTINA Ricci, gah, it kills me that I mistyped that.

Summer Anne Burton

@wee_ramekin OH, it was NO coincidence! Although I remember being totes heartbroken when I realized that he wasn't actually singing Simba's voice during the songs that I was listening to on 100x repeat. Voice double = shatterer of dreams.

cc
cc

@andrea disaster OH EM GEE i watched that terrible movie a thousand times for the same damn reason. lol!!! you bitches, he's mine!!

pityslice

Holy. Shit.

I ended my letter with "Do you want to be my friend" because I felt J.T.T. would never love an awkward and non-blonde nerd. For shame!

His unauthorized (but Scholastic-approved!) biography must be here somewhere... The posters are gone, though.

Nutmeg

I am now imagining the only person I know named "Summer" (sadly, a regular customer at work; I should get some friends) writing these? I... I think I love her, now.

angelinha

"Our" anniversary is Halloween.
This is so great! I remember feeling similarly about Zac Hanson.

emilylou

@klibberfish Haha, I was just going to say, replace "JTT" with "Zac Hanson" and you have my 5th-6th grade years in a nutshell.

Then replace "Zac Hanson" with "Mark Hoppus" and you have my 7th grade year in a nutshell, godddd.

hairdresser on fire

@klibberfish YESSS ZAC HANSON. I remember confessing that I loved him on my elementary school playground like it was sacred information.

charizard

Lance Bass' eyes are pools of emerald bliss.

LoriA

@charizard Long-time lurker here who finally registered to tell you to STOP QUOTING MY DIARY. I'm serious. I'm 99% positive I have that *exact* sentence in my 6th grade journal.

christonacracker

Oh jeez this is making me itchy and anxious thinking about all the horrifically embarassing stuff I wrote in my journal when I was 14. I thought that as I get older, I would laugh it off, but OH MAN no one is ever reading that poetry. NO ONE.

Bittersweet

@christonacracker: Oh no, I pull out my high school journals at least once a year to keep myself humble. You can't ever get too full of yourself after reading about all your fevered, soap-operatic (completely imaginary) exploits with Simon Le Bon.

dinos

@christonacracker Oh jeez. I just remembered that all of my middle school journals are still tucked away at my parents' house. That is a goldmine of embarrassment right there.

saul "the bear" berenson

Oh yes, this was me, this was alllllll so very me. I learned what "mischievous" meant AND how to pronounce it because it was the go-to adjective for every Big Bopper article about his many endearing sexxxy qualities. I papered my room with - no joke - DOZENS of fold-out posters of him. I dreamed about him.

And now he's an anti-choice activist. See, Bella? Sometimes you can't trust teenage love after all.

bitzyboozer

@Moxie the Maven BIG BOPPER!!!

bonnbee

@Moxie the Maven
Kirk Cameron, who was sahooo cute on the "Growing Pains" reruns I used to watch on Disney Channel after school, is a mega evangelical conservative christian. What do they feed these cute child stars to make them grow up to hate ladies' reproductive systems??

joie

Bless you, Summer. (This comes from the girl who fervently watched re-runs of Home Improvement well into my senior year of high school.)

Emily Sue

The best thing I've ever read, circa Teen or Bop or some magazine back in the mid-90s, found in the reader letters: "Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the cutest of them all? JTT OF COURSE!!!!"

Miss Zarves

My neighbor friend wrote to Oprah in 7th grade and told her that my little brother was dying and his last wish was that the three of us meet Hanson. We never heard back.

bonnbee

@Miss Zarves A family friend from church broke her leg in a car accident when she was thirteen and I was ten. Her dad told someone at the concert place that she had bone cancer or something and she got free tickets to N'Sync AND got to meet the band! She went in a wheelchair to the concert so the cancer lie would be more believable. What the fuck.
It would be funny if the Oprah people came to your house to see your little brother and he was like, "WTF?"

wee_ramekin

It's all screwed up though...I need to move on and let it happen if it’s going to happen. ~ You, age 16

So, um, why were you able to grasp this basic knowledge about relationships at such a tender age, while I struggle with it to this day? Is that what you learn when you somehow manage to exist through three years of JTT's icy silence?

C.SanDiego

One time, I met James van der Beek on the set of Dawson's Creek. My friend and I were introduced to him by someone we knew who worked on set with "they wanted to meet the stars!" He looked around and said "JTT is here?!" Thus, endearing himself to me forever.

Wookiee Hole

@C.SanDiego Oh Dawson, you're hilarious!

AmeliaBadelia

Ahhh I was pretty thoroughly obsessed with JTT for the better part of my pre-teen/teen years... but then one day whilst reading BOP or TigerBeat, they listed his height (which was like 5'2) and I was already pretty much at my full grown height of 5'9 by then (I know. I was a bucket of elbows. Gangliest kid around) so I was devastated. This was around the time I also found out I was far too tall to be a jockey. A devastating year all around.

lovelettersinhell

@AmeliaBadelia Former 5'9" 12 year olds unite! Also, relatedly, I was taller than my second grade teacher (so.. I was what? 6? 8? How old are kids in what grades? Fuck if I know.).

bonnbee

Oh man, there is no love like preteen celeb love. I remember crying so hard until I got a headache because I didn't win a radio contest to an N'Sync concert... where Joey Fatone would pluck me out of the crowd and marry me on stage (in my head).
JTT was my other big crush... and Prince William. Ohhh man, PW. I remember calculating the seven year age difference in my head- "Well, I'm seven and he's fourteen, which is a big deal now but when I'm twenty it won't be that bad!"

I'm glad I never kept my diaries because I would be so so embarrassed to read them now. I also get pre-secondhand-embarassment when I think about how embarrassed I would feel if I ever have a daughter and found her preteen love letters... one time my dad found a love letter I wrote to a boy named Steve in my class, never intended to be given to Steve, and told his Dad because they were friends and he thought it was cute and then his dad told Steve and Steve told all of the seventh grade! I never lived it down. Dadddddd why why why why would you do that to meeee?

Edith Zimmerman

@bonnbee Haha you liked Fat One!

lovelettersinhell

@bonnbee I was also a Wills fan. I just figured I needed to somehow get to England and within a day or two, he'd be drawn to my aura and fall in love?

Jercse

Let's not forget Andrew Keegan here ladies. Strangely enough, 12 year old me went from JTT to... George Clooney?

Valerista

@Jercse I only ever liked actors who were over 30. It's awkward now, because all of my teen crushes are 20 years older than I am, and I'm 41.

So they'd probably date me at this point, actually. Hmm.

sweetwater

@Valerista Me too! I remember coming across a Details magazine when Batman Forever came out and having a thing for Val Kilmer. I also had a thing for Kevin Costner. And maybe I'm a little older than most commenters here, but I never had a thing for JTT. Kirk Cameron all the way!

oh, disaster

That's a pretty good drawing of him! The portraits in Bop/Teen Beat/Tiger Beat/etc. just stirred up secondhand embarrassment. Lots of crossed eyes and melty looking faces.

madamvonsassypants

One time JTT was a guest on America's Funniest Home Videos. When Bob Saget asked him what was his favorite video, JTT chose the classic "Bird Dive Bombing a Cat" clip. My heart soared, for that was also my favorite. MEANT TO BE.

alabee

I would cry for help
But no one will answer
Which is why I
would cry for help

That is sensational.

Peanut

@alabee It reminds me that, stored away in the dim corners of my mind, is a word-for-word recitation of Jessica Wakefield's poem to AJ.

My heart is heavy,
heavy as cement,
heavy as a tire iron
i would
rip it out of my chest
but I need it
If you ever
smile at me again

Peanut

@Peanut I Googled to verify and I'm a little bit glad that I actually got a couple words wrong.

BeebsLaRue

This is truly amazing. I felt the exact same way about Elijah Wood when I was 12. Although I no longer write terrible poetry in his honor, I'm pretty sure he and I could be besties.

madamvonsassypants

@BeebsLaRue I'm getting way too involved in this thread. JTT and Elijah Wood were my favorites. I still kind of have a crush on Elijah. Man, that guy came out of the child acting world RIGHT.

Chesty LaRue

@BeebsLaRue We must be related.

Summer Anne Burton

@BeebsLaRue so I had a thing for Elijah too although I never would have told JTT that of course -- wouldn't want him to think I wasn't loyal... but JUST NOW I checked my tumblr feed and I saw these ostensibly new pictures of EWood and he is looking RUGGED. Is it weird that the blood-face one totally turns me on? http://autumndewilde.tumblr.com/

nocomment

@BeebsLaRue I have loved Elijah Wood since I saw Forever Young at age 9, and seen him in person twice (once when I was in college, once post-college), and both times it was ridiculously exciting to me. I remember at my sleepaway camp we'd hang up all the Bop pictures on one wall in our bunk, and I lobbied for Elijah but was shot down. JTT definitely made the wall, along with Devon Sawa.

BeebsLaRue

@Chesty LaRue Gasp, perhaps we are!

BeebsLaRue

@Summer Anne Burton OMG. Those are some of the best pictures of him I've ever seen. And I've seen quite a few pictures of him in my time.

BeebsLaRue

@madamvonsassypants @fatgirlinohio A middle school friend and I started a club we called EWF (Elijah Wood Forever). I would like to formally induct you into this club. You too, @Summer Anne Burton. Also, @fatgirlinohio, I have had so many missed chances of seeing him in person. I have friends who have actually hung out with him. So jeals.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

What do we think about that youngest kid on that show? Pretty cute (despite the insanity)?

I may or may not resemble him.

Hollye

I had forgotten Brad Renfro was dead. My bf just reminded me and I got really sad all over again.

Layla

@Hollye Yeah I was into Brad Renfro and Edward Furlong. Broodie!

madamvonsassypants

@Hollye Him AND Jonathan Brandis. Sometimes, being a teen heartthrob doesn't translate well into adulthood.

A few years back my friend and I drunkenly remembered our love for the Brandis, looked him up and were thrilled that he was *STILL* hot. Not even a month later he had killed himself. We felt partially responsible.

Saaoirse

Maybe it's cause I wasn't fourteen until 2007, but who the hell is JTT? I can retroactively develop a crush on him if it'd help me fit in around here. Otherwise, I'm going to go back to my internal Xander vs. Spike debate.

swirrlygrrl

@Saaoirse Debate??? There are two answers, both equally correct - Xander, but only in the speedo, and Spike at all other points in history. Including when his heart is "effulgent." *sigh* Spike.

madamvonsassypants

@Saaoirse This is why there's the Google.

cocokins

Joan Didion says that it's best to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be. Kudos to you for keeping it real (also, I still have the PETER JENNINGS HAIKU I wrote in high school. RIP.).

Oh ok, here it is:
"Giving us the news /Give us more Pete, give us more/ You are such a hunk."

It's not a good haiku, but I had a thing for older men.

lue
lue

@cocokins
Oh, yes. Peter Jennings. A boy in my high school history class once blurted out "Peter Jennings is fucking hot" when we watched one of those videos that he hosted...
Also, JTT, oh my god. He was always my boyfriend when we played 'college' when I was like 9. Let's all get together and watch Wild America...

Summer Anne Burton

@cocokins Your Peter Jennings haiku > these JTT poems. Obvs.

charizard

@cocokins Oh hell this reminds me of all the weird people I had crushes on as a little girl. Jim Carrey. Jim Breuer. I guess I just dug odd-looking funny dudes when I was in the single digits.

sandwiches

I once wrote a heartfelt email in response to a poem that was part of Rider Strong's (I think...it might have been someone else?) personal website and "by Rider Strong". My email may have involved some of my own poetry. It may also have been written on my grandfather's computer; immediately after I left the room, he went online and printed it out for everyone else in my family to read. It's only one small part of why I hate him & sincerely wish he'd die, but I remember that humiliation & breach of privacy keenly.

...um, this got dark? sorry?

Summer Anne Burton

@sandwiches OMG So I'm really sorry that happened to you but right now I need to talk about Rider Strong's personal website and how totally amazing it was! Remember when he was dating Rachel Leigh Cook (who I hated because she kissed JTT in Tom & Huck) and wrote a poem for her called Rachel Falls? Also he introduced me to the Refreshments, who remained one of my favorite bands throughout the first couple hs years. ALSO (last thing I swear) one of my friends went to the tiny private high school he attended (sometimes) and said that all he ever talked about was Adam Duritz. Which is actually kind of endearing, right?

sandwiches

@Summer Anne Burton Hahahahahaha! Poems about Rachel Leigh Cook ALWAYS take precedence over personal drama! ...I wonder if his website is still floating around the geocities ether somewhere. That would be so simultaneously horrible and amazing to read. The Adam Duritz thing is pretty adorable and now I'm envisioning his teenage bedroom walls as being papered with torn-out magazine articles of the Counting Crows.. (And now I have fallen down the Google rabbit hole and somehow I've wound up reading about how he thinks Corey & Topanga are totally divorced now (well, duh))

Summer Anne Burton

@sandwiches GIRL, LOOK: http://web.archive.org/web/200102020844/http://riderstrong.com/

Summer Anne Burton

@sandwiches I MEAN.

Projections Of A Mid Life Crisis by Rider Strong:

I'll never be like that.
I laugh at sport cars,
menopause,
and people falling
'cause they've grown and
now they know they're
dying.
It strikes me simple to avoid:
vow now
and never grow.
And by chance should fall my
wiser eyes
upon this page,
I could laugh,
(I'll leave that room)
but with this
(pathetic)
teenage rambling -
fire
truth through time,
beseech the older me
to cry if i have lost.

Vow now
and never grow.

Tomorrow is a concept
made just to fit today.
Yesterday I was alive
some more,
is a lie.
You!
Look around, wise-eyes.
Now back to me
and feel a loss
for words.
Breath in me...
and
feel of who you are.

sandwiches

@Summer Anne Burton NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OH MY GOD

redheaded&crazy

no joke this is too incredibly similar to my diary, which I think I burned. The pining after unavailable/fictional men (boys), the determined delusion from reality,

I think my teenaged obsessions ran the gamut from leonardo dicaprio to lance bass to, i don't know, tuxedo mask? way more other anime characters than I would comfortably admit in public? and y'know, that's not even getting started on RON. And who could forget him --

stop talking self.

sandwiches

@redheadedandcrazy yes. The day I cleaned out my high school locker* I burned everything (on the hs grounds!). Every diary page, every awful poem I wrote, every awful fanfic I wrote, every awful fanfic someone else wrote and I printed out to read obsessively. Um.

*why I was stupid enough to keep those things IN my locker I couldn't tell you.

cc
cc

@redheadedandcrazy tux was dreeeemy!!

wee_ramekin

@sandwiches It's okay! I did it too. I had Freddie Prinze Jr. in my high school locker though. OMG, I was so in love with him and his lopsided smile...*sigh*...

Steph

It was Leonardo DiCaprio circa Titanic at my school and girls used to carry around binders full of pictures of him. It's weird how those pre-teen hormonal obsessions work.

Dantess

I am seriously blown away at how similar this is to terrible shit I did as a young girl (and how many other members say the same). Kudos to your bravery posting this, you got balls of steel girl. JTT is a fool for never seeing it.

Kelley Pounders@facebook

I wrote similar things to Elijah Wood and possibly also Joseph Gordon Levitt's fine long-haired self. I took delusion to a new level and wrote myself back from them in disguised handwriting for my friends to read, though. Yeah.

sandwiches

@Kelley Pounders@facebook You are my hero. And now I will stop spamming this thread. (JGL!!! omfg.)

camarofox79

This is amazing. Most of my middle school and high school years were devoted to Joey Mcintyre and Silverchair but I loved JTT too and watched Home Improvement religiously. I was also super into Brad Renfro (R.I.P.)and Andrew Keegan, who an underclassman took to our high school homecoming dance after meeting him on a celebrity cruise (there are real "celebrities" on those? WTF?) I still have their photo from the dance floating around somewhere in a box at my parents' house. My best friend's little sister also had some sort of a reltionship with JTT but that's not my story to tell. I'll beg her to divulge the details.

tee
tee

guys, JTT lives in my neigbourhood. i have heard rumours that he is gay, however :'( oh, unrequited love.

zidaane

@tee Maybe he just hasn't met the right girl yet.

Layla

@tee I thought he had come out! But I also thought the same of Paul Rudd.

QuiteAmiable

@tee I am now inviting myself over to your place for a slumber/spying party.

BScottie

I wrote to JTT back in the day and also received a postcard with his headshot on the front. If I remember correctly, his shirt in the picture was kind of pea green. Very generic message written on the back, but I still basically shit my pants when I got it! I also went through a Devon Sawa phase, so Wild America was like porn for me.

hideously

I love the scene-setting, important detail "Dog is resting" in "Why I need him".

Back in the day I had a lot of love for "Vinnie" Kartheiser, back when he was in that movie Alaska.

BosomBuddy

I mean this in the best way possible: as I read this I cringe with embarrassment as if I had written it myself. It's reassuring to know that so many twelve year old female minds think alike.

piggie

My sister did this! She obsessed over Joey MacIntyre, then JTT and Jonathan Brandis. Like, her room was a scary, Beautiful Mind-style shrine. Meanwhile, I just wrote Summeresque poems and wistful "it never shall be and I am so sad" diary entries about a boy in my class. From looking back at my friends at the time, it seems like "tween girls who love a celebrity" and "tween girls who love a boy they actually know" are a practically non-overlapping Venn diagram. True for others, or just me and my circle?

cc
cc

@gangey nope, we had a stable of celebrity crushes and local middle school crushes to choose from.

AND CODE WORDS FOR ALL OF THEM.

fleurdelivre

First of all: for me personally, it was Hanson.

Secondly: Is it wrong that I still kind of do this with celebrity crushes? I mean, they're just daydreams and less insistently creepy than when I was 12, and more "how would it go if Jamie Bell and I were thrown together by a weird happenstance?" but still?

AND YOU'RE DRAWING THE MEMBERS OF THE BASEBALL HALL OF FAME! Summer, I cannot tell you how much I love that. Have you gotten to King Kelly's glorious mustache yet?

Summer Anne Burton

@fleurdelivre dude! Yes! King Kelly is on there... I'm doing them in chronological order so I dd him pretty early on and he is one of my faves.. Thanks!

BeebsLaRue

@fleurdelivre Um, I totally still do this. I just had a "What would happen if I met Ryan Gosling and his adorable puppy on the jogging trail?" daydream the other day. Should I be admitting these things on the internet?

TheDragon

@BeebsLaRue Don't do it! I had a very vivid dream that i took Gosling home and... He peed on me. Not ok, subconscious!

dg
dg

Embarrassing screen names dedicated to you love, go! Mine: ridinginthebackoflancesjeepbeepbeep.

Now that I look back at photo's of nsync there were SO MANY SIGNS that Lance liked the Mens but damn I was head over hills writing Mrs. Lance James Bass on all my notebooks.

QuiteAmiable

@dg I too was in love with Lance Bass! I made a collage of magazine clippings of him and hung it above my bed.

And yes, now that I think back on it, I realize it was pretty obvious he was batting for the other team. Guess we were blinded by "love"?

smaryal

oh.my.gosh. this is amazing. especially the "i don't know you anymore"-LOVE

also, i felt the same way about taylor hanson. i even wrote a letter to rosie o'donnell about how much i loved him (i think he was on her show or something?) and i got an autographed picture. OF ROSIE. i was disappointed, but i still pinned it on my wall.

Quick Brown Fox

Aaaaand I just remembered why I threw away my old diaries. Oh, and "The Box": a shoebox of "mementos" from all the guys I had crushes on, grades 7-11. Stuff like that pencil he lent me in math class. Hoo boy, memories...

madamvonsassypants

HOLY SHIT I JUST REMEMBERED MY FRIEND I STUDIED ABROAD WITH BRIEFLY DATED JTT DURING THE LION KING ERA.

She was a child actress and met him through a gig her brother had. JTT took her to the premier of the Lion King! He pointed out the parts where it wasn't actually his voice! They kissed oh so briefly!

Cue my 21 year old self, talking with her in our apartment in Italy, literally DYING with this information when she revealed it oh so casually. Then she laughed and finished it off with a wistful, "Man, maybe I should call him sometime..." Me = dead. dying.

Summer Anne Burton

@madamvonsassypants Dude. Maybe she should! And get her to report back immediately. Except I do think maybe he turned out to be gay.... But I just looked up the entertainment weekly reunion picture of him now and kinda got heart palpitations.

gladfanny

Oh my dear god. This WAS. ME. But for Justin Timberlake. Completely with a "we're meant to be together, I know it" letter never sent, a fan-fiction NOVEL in which we meet at Disney World and fall in love, and a song called "Destiny."

Chorus:

You took my heart and you didn't even know
We've never said a word, but I still love you so
And I know that in my heart we were meant to be
That's our destiny

Fin.

fleurdelivre

@gladfanny My friends in middle school read/wrote NSYNC fanfiction. They almost always involved DisneyWorld or the Make A Wish foundation.

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