23
Understanding This Is Going to Save Your Sanity
The vintage-VHS hoarders/gold-panners at Everything Is Terrible came across a couple classic relationship-advice tapes, including a gem called Techniques for Transforming Your Relationships With Men. (Which may or may not be its actual title, as it's nowhere to be found elsewhere online.) Listen closely; it's been edited for maximum clarity.
OHMIGOD I had a toaster once and hurt myself on it really badly. I also hurt myself on the answering machine. This is because I did not read the manuals.
everything is terrible.
I tried to take a few tips from this video and train my husband to notice the details, but all he noticed was my wicked pink blazer with champion shoulder pads. I think I need to view the tape again.
@Yahtzii Over and OVER again.
But they cut out the techniques! I need the techniques!!
OH BOY indeed.
Two different planets, you say? This is revolutionary. I'm thinking…what? Like Mars and Venus?
@kayjay Women suffocate in a methane-deficient atmosphere like THIS! Men choke on poisonous oxygen like THIS!
This is something you need to know about martians (and venusians), and this is something that's genetic.
@kayjay To be fair, this looks old enough to have come out before that dude's Mars/Venus book.
Haha toaster ovens and answering machines . . . the '80s.
"Treat them the same way you treat a woman, or any person." NO THANK YOU.
Why are so many women so anxious to get into relationships? I have completely forgotten. My own urge in that direction is gone, gone, gone.
I'm confused. Are men toasters, code-a-phones, aliens, dogs or things that need to be inflated? Please advise.
@meattubs None of the above, but they are appliances. It's all so clear now.
@foureyedgirl Thank you. My beau actually came with full instructions on what to do with him and how to keep him happy, so, you know, this doesn't really apply to me per se, but I'm always interested.
@meattubs "they are appliances."
"I feel like such a tool." –Nelson Muntz
"Do you ever wish men came with instruction booklets?"
"Yes."
"NO, I'M SERIOUS."
My mother totally had a book by this chick when I was growing up. "Secrets about men every woman should know." She's very, very pro-swallowing. That's about all I remember. The things that shaped my formative years.
"Don't tell him he's no good…unless, of course, he is." I laughed way too loud at that.
Sexual leak D:
@nomorecheese AAAAAAHHHHHHH!
i need to work on my shoulder pad game.
She looks kind of like Ray Romano.