Monday, October 24, 2011


The Sexy Zombie Vampire _____ Halloween Makeup Tutorial

How to be dead sexy this Halloween. (Eyelashes are put on like this; wine is chosen like this.)

Previously: The Big Hair Tutorial.

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Unrelated: Jane! Were you ever at the SF meetup this weekend? I couldn't figure out if I just didn't see you due to ALL THE SANGRIAS or you couldn't make it.


@melis No, it's totally related, because we were all wearing fabulous zombie makeup. Which she would have seen if she was there.

Jane Marie

@melis dangit, the way my weekend shook out it was party with you guys or make this video. i probably made the wrong choice :(


@Jane Marie There's one in East Bay on November 30th!



Are you fucking kidding me, you guys, that is the day after my birthday, just how much am I going to be drinking in a 72 hour window here? I am only now shaking off the last of the sangria.


@Yahtzii And that's the day after I get back from spending a week in Chicago! Jetlagged Hairpin meetup, here I come.

one cow.

Alright, that scary music/red eyed intro thing scared the hell right out of me.




It's possible to drink wine with the teeth in? Sold!


if you stop watching this after five minutes, it's a pretty good angelia jolie tutorial

Anastasia Beaverhausen

Sexy Zombie Baby. YES! Also, I paused this at 6:58 and it's hilarious.

oh, disaster

So wish I had this video two years ago when I went as Zombrey Hepburn.


@andrea disaster My LumberJackie Kennedy is going to be the costume to beat this year, though.


@andrea disaster Hah! Totally met a Hairpinner from Portland who had the same (brilliant) idea for this year.

oh, disaster

@melis That is going to be tough. My Lady Bird Johnson Bird Lady better step up.


@andrea disaster for a second I thought you were going as Larry Bird Johnson.

oh, disaster

@leon.saintjean Ooh, that would be good too. My coworker has a sports trivia calendar and I answer every basketball question with Larry Bird, so I'm liking that connection.

gin twin

Jane, Madison would be so proud of you.


I plan on stealing some of these tips to go along with the costume idea I've stolen from I don't remember where. Pasty, sparkly skin + bored, stupid look = Twilight vampire. We can't go too crazy with costumes at work, but I'm so taking this.


Yes! Any 'how to be a girl' segment is sure to make me drop what I'm doing and grab for headphones (work, pshaw). But how actually adorable is Jane as sexy zombie vampire librarian?


that fuckin ruled.


I just found my old prom dress in the closet. If I can stuff my boobs into it, I'm considering being szombie Miss America.


@Ophelia OH MY GOD I am stealing this if I get a Halloween invitation. You're brilliant and I love you.


@Ophelia My bff from home is going as Prom Queen Zombie


@Lucienne It's totally fine, but that means we'll be competing for the tiara.


@Ophelia One of us will have to be Zombie Miss Congeniality.


@Lucienne YES! OMG, or Zombie Toddlers in Tiaras!


@Beericle PROMBIE!


This is perfect for my go-to costume of 'dead prom queen' or 'prom queen who died in a drunk driving accident immediately post-prom'. It has a positive message, plus it allows me to drink straight from the bottle.

Anna Marquardt

@srs Yes!! the year I did "prom queen who died in a drunk driving accident immediately post-prom" I gave myself a road-head-induced black eye as well.


Speaking of ridiculous slutty costumes, I got a kick out of reading this post on i09: http://io9.com/5852860/this-years-sluttiest-and-weirdest-store+bought-halloween-costumes/gallery/1

'Slutty Unicorn' is my personal favorite.

RK Fire

@momentisaflower: I was looking at the Transformers slide, which had the mysterious caption of "this year there are Transformers costumes for men!" I then found myself wondering about a Slutty/Sexy Bumblebee (the character) costume, not to be confused with someone who wants to be a Slutty/Sexy Bumblebee (insect).

Great, now I'm thinking about Slutty/Sexy Insect costumes.


@RK Fire OMG Slutty Praying Mantis!


@RK Fire Sexy Bedbug.

RK Fire

@Ophelia: That would actually be amazing, especially if you carry around decapitated heads of previous partners.

RK Fire

@momentisaflower: impossible! ::shudders::

Ask a Sexy Spider?


@momentisaflower UNICORN GIRL. Amazing. (Wasn't that an Anne McCaffrey book, that I couldn't bring myself to read. Oh, Anne. Why?)

Also, I would absoltely 100% wear a sexy TMNT costume. You guys, I don't think you understand how much I used to love them. Allow me to try to explain. My sister was a home birth, for which I was present. When I say I was present, I mean I was in the same room, watching TMNT.

Also, the rainbow brite costume is legit great.


@momentisaflower Ok I found a sexy Hulk Hogan costume... wait, what? http://www.yandy.com/Hulkamania-Costume.php

RK Fire

@DrFeelGood: I would be willing to wear that. also it would be awesome if you could get a WWF championship belt replica to cinch that.. dress in.


@DrFeelGood omg WHAT IS THIS WEBSITE??? I'm glad to know there's a place out there where I can fulfill my long held fantasies of dressing up like a 'Sexy Watermelon', 'Sexy Panda', or 'Sexy George Washington'. I'm set until at least 2015.


@DrFeelGood Adding to this way late, but there is seriously a 'Sexy Multiple Gunshot Victim' costume. http://www.yandy.com/Bullets-Tank-Dress-Costume.php

Oh, humanity.


@momentisaflower Oh god that site. My reactions were a mix of delight and swearing. And also SOCK HOP IS ALREADY SEXY OK.


My skin is that shade without zombie makeup and now I don't know how to feel about it.


Everyone assumes I'm ______ Amy Winehouse no matter what I do for Halloween. BANE OF MY EXISTENCE... and especially so when I want this sexy dead make-up all over my face.


@JoanTition But this year, you really can be zombie Amy Winehouse! (too soon?)


@Ophelia When everyone thinks you look so much like Amy Winehouse that they compulsively stare at you and then tell you AND your mom calls you when Winehouse dies to make sure you're okay you do NOT tempt the fates by "playing along".


(that sentence is terrible, but I also refuse to play along with tense/ sense making)


@Ophelia HELL NO it is not too soon, that's what I'm doing! Last November I decided I would be her for this Halloween. Then this year's events made me nervous. But when I mentioned to some people "aw man, now I can't be her, and I've been waiting since last Halloween" everybody said it was not too soon. But then, I have crass friends.


Coincedentally, my husband sent me a link to a craigslist posting for a 'sparkle princess UNICORN' costume as I was watching this..
I think this is begging for a sparkle princess unicorn zombie!


Jane Marie! You are the person who has convinced me to put on Halloween make-up for once, something I've avoided all my life because I hated how it felt on the skin. The fact that I can do that while drinking red wine as part of the process is just perfect.


@Respondona Me too! I was dreading putting on my makeup for this year, I'm going as Miss Argentina from Beetlejuice so I have to be ALL BLUE. Cut it with lotion, brilliant!


@redheadedtwit Oooh, love it! And not only do you get to be ALL BLUE but also wear a cute dress and an awesome hairdo.
It never even occurred to me to cut it with lotion. A friend of mine dressed as a living statue once, and I still shudder when I remember her applying all that white make-up.


I'm currently rocking the "Princess Beatrice" toilet bowl with a bow hat. After this tutorial, I am so tempted to be a zombie Princess Bea.

Jillsy Sloper

@accountessa I'm pretty sure Princess Beatrice went to Wills & Kate's wedding as Zombie Princess Beatrice.


@Jillsy Sloper I'm convinced.


@accountessa ooh if I had the motivation, I would go as the hat itself...


Jane, is your cardigan from Target? If so we can be cardigan pals because I have the same one.

Jane Marie

@Clare Haha, nope. I'm pretty sure it's from Sam's Wholesale Club because my dad gave it to me and he only buys sweaters at Sam's Wholesale Club for some reason?


@Jane Marie I love the sweater too! Sam's Club, holy crap!

And... I know I am a day late here and probably out of luck, replywise -- I really planned to ask this yesterday and I don't know what happened... Anyway, do you have any idea how one might go about creating fresh claw marks on one's face with a red lipliner? I need to do four and I know they have those latex-and-glue contraptions, which I will be using on other parts of me but not too keen on gluing some smelly old rubbery thing to my face. So, I bought me a cheap, bright red Wet & Wild lip pencil, hoping to find some instructions online... but, so far, nothin'. Any help from you fellow Halloween enthusiasts will be so greatly appreciated!


Right before the fangs go in, you kind of look like zombie Sarah Palin.


Jane, please be my imaginary older sister that I never had but always wanted!

Jane Marie

@bonnbee ok! now what do we do?


@Jane Marie I'll bring you a bottle of dark red wine I bought using your old ID that you gave me after you turned 21, and you'll teach me cool makeup tricks!

Jane Marie

@bonnbee deal.


This is great. I'm super scared of the oil makeup at CVS but cutting it with lotion/foundation will make it less scary. I'm so excited to be sexy zombie _________ (something that I can dress up as using my own clothes.) Last year I was Frida Kahlo, but I needed bronzer for that look. Maybe Sexy Zombie Frida? Or homecoming queen. Or librarian. Those are the options according to my wardrobe...


I want to be Jane for Halloween!


@O'Malley I'm going to a Halloween party as Jolie. Only two people there will get it but whatever, I don't care!


@lovelettersinhell ooooh!! A Sexy Zombie Clean Person!


I can attest that most of us look like this all the time. Minus the fangs, usually.


@archiviiiiiist Speak for yourself. As Jane pointed out, you can drink red wine with fangs. Therefore, you never have to take them off!


Jane! This was amazing.


this is amazing! am I ruining the spirit of halloween if I use the other videos to perfect my adam ant makeup though?


Denture fixative also works really well for vampire fangs in. Fair warning, though, those fang bastards make it hard to drink anything so bring a straw.


wait, can we have a tutorial for that hairstyle? I would like it on my head.


We have the same bedspread. :) These means I have good taste!


i totally did this! it looks great! but the cream makeup that got on my eyelids is making the eyeshadow bleed into major crease lines.


Free gift with every order!check out this site for great adult costumes, it also has hot sexy lingerie and sexy clubwear! Amazing plus size selections and hot mens lingerie! prices are out of this world! affordable and alot of special deals and markdowns! http://www.enticingnights.net

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