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Monday, October 10, 2011

49

Marni Kotak's "Birth of Baby X"

Trend alert:

Beginning October 8, Kotak will transform Microscope into her home birthing room, complete with her grandmother's bed, and her old rocking chair. The exhibit has been orchestrated around Kotak's official due date. Visitors should be prepared to find themselves suddenly as witnesses to a live birth.

Performance artist Marni Kotak is engaging in some extreme (and literal) navel-gazing as she invites people to watch her give birth in an art gallery. "I hope that people will see that human life itself is the most profound work of art," she says, "and that therefore giving birth, the greatest expression of life, is the highest form of art." Which, taken a step further, could make for some good yo momma jokes: Yo momma's such a bad artist, which is why you are ugly / If yo momma was an artist, and she is — all mommas are — she would be like Thomas Kinkade, the painter of light, and no one likes him. But his paintings are admittedly kind of luminous! Thus, you are lovely in your own way.

49 Comments / Post A Comment

LeafySeaDragon

This is not going to end well. And i say this as the mother of a home birthed baby.

melis

@LeafySeaDragon Ah, I can see you've beaten me to it.

melis

Well, the good news is that no one is going to draw any extreme proscriptives from this individual experience.

melis

Also, obviously: "Guests in the first fourteen rows are advised: You WILL get wet. You MAY get drenched."

LeafySeaDragon

@melis FOR REALS YO! i can't even imagine, and i'm sure the gallery must have imposed some sort of doomsday clause.

sox
sox

@melis Girl, you'd better get that copyright paperwork filled out for your daughter's live deflowering or you're gonna lose out on millions. Millions I tell you.

melis

@sox MMM you don't even know how soon that's going to be an article elsewhere.

emilylou

@melis On the glorious day when I give birth, I hope against hope that it's right next to a giant "SPLASH ZONE" sign.

Tuna Surprise

I'm only going if placenta burgers will be served after the show.

ejcsanfran

@Tuna Surprise: Probably sliders, so there'll be enough for everyone.

Tuna Surprise

@Tuna Surprise
With a slice of breast-milk cheese on top? One can only hope...

fondue with cheddar

@Tuna Surprise Also, fries with amniotic fluid dipping sauce.

ejcsanfran

Ceci n'est pas un bébé.

elsbels

taking a dump while giving birth is also the highest form of art.

meattubs

Oh, man, do I feel sorry for this baby.

Cawendaw

@meattubs 10 years down the road...
"If you get straight A's, we'll go out for ice cream and put your report card on the fridge. If you get mostly C's I'm putting it in MoMA."

meattubs

@Cawendaw I know! What if it's a girl?? I can only imagine what sort of performance "art" will come of her first period.

wallsdonotfall

The science blogger Dr. Isis is also live-tweeting her labor right now at @drisis, for all your minute-by-minute birth news needs.

iceberg

@wallsdonotfall Tweeting is okay, as long as no twitpics are involved. That seems more educational and less attention-whorey.

ASouthernLady

Ya'll! No. Bad. Naughty!

This is all very unladylike.

noReally

So if she rears up in the stirrups (wait, no stirrups, in the yucky tub) and screams, "That's it! Get out! I want you out, all of you!" Is that part of it? Are you supposed to go? If you leave or don't do you then become part of the piece?

melis

@noReally "Oooh, this piece is getting disruptive. Let's become active agents of resistance by not leaving, no matter how much she cries and bleeds."

iceberg

Um what happens if something goes horribly wrong? Is the art gallery close enough to a hospital if the baby needs extreme help?

I know, Debbie Downer. But still.

Tuna Surprise

@iceberg - What if the baby comes out and it's ugly?

Eeyore

@iceberg Eeyore was just thinking the same thing. Wah-wah. It would be terrible and traumatic and probably lead to many more pieces down the road ....

Ophelia

The hottest new art exhibit in New York is called "The Birth of Baby X." There's placenta, and gawking, and an overwrought piece of performance art that no one really wants to see anyway. And a priest with a toupee.

emilylou

@Ophelia And look! Who's that at the bar?! Kate Moss?!

Ophelia

@emilylouise Yessss! I was hoping that this would become the place where I could talk about my love for the Stefon/Zoolander mash-up of last weekend, pleasepleaseplease??

emilylou

@Ophelia IT'S ON. I was watching that clip on Hulu repeatedly last night (I lead a really exciting life). Stefon is my man.

emilylou

@Ophelia Also.... how's your back?

Ophelia

@emilylouise MMM-HMMM!

Ophelia

@emilylouise ...a shaved lion that looks like Mario Batali...

emilylou

@Ophelia Italian reggae singer Rasta Primavera.

Ophelia

@emilylouise human fire-extinguishers

emilylou

@Ophelia I'm not sure what this says about me, but in real life situations I've started to actually explain things with the phrase "it's that thing of when...."

Ophelia

@emilylouise I also quote Stefon probably more than is healthy? Also, question to ponder: Do you think he knows what's coming on the cue cards? Sometimes I think he's only seeing them for the first time, which makes it even funnier.

emilylou

@Ophelia I think the more you quote Stefon, the healthier you are.

I mean, he breaks a LOT! Which I actually love because I think that makes it even funnier. I sometimes do wonder about the cue card situation, because it seems like he's delightfully shocked by what he's saying (and not in an in-character sort of way).

Honestly the only reason I check in on SNL every week is to watch Weekend Update and PRAY for more Stefon.

Megasus

Don't art galleries usually have really fancy floors? Are they aware said fancy floors are going to be RUINED?

iceberg

@Megan Patterson@facebook
Dear A Clean Person,
How do you get amniotic fluid stains off hardwood floors?
Love,
Anxious Gallery Owner

laurel

@Megan Patterson@facebook: Plastic kiddie pool? Maybe they can get Disney sponsorship for a Little Mermaid tub.

Megasus

@laurel My imagination tells me that it just sprays everywhere like a bad horror movie. My imagination is probably wrong, but still.

laurel

@Megan Patterson@facebook: Maybe it'll just be ping pong balls. Lots and lots of ping pong balls.

Megasus

@laurel It would be great if that's what actually happened, instead of the horror of what is really going to happen. You could be all like "PSYCHE! LET'S PLAY PING PONG!!"

atipofthehat

Already got tickets. I'll be sitting in C-section.

laurel

@atipofthehat: I like a seat on the canal.

Jenn

Ugh. I am way too hungover for this shit.

43
43

"Microscope will extend our regular hours to 7 days a week from 11am-6pm until the birth has occurred."

HA. Glad they did enough research to learn that 100% of babies are always born between 11am and 6pm.

dracula's ghost

@k_l_c yeah, it's so weird to think of her in there at like 2 a.m., in an enormous echoing DARK AS FUCK art gallery (clearly haunted), screaming and the echoes of her screams bouncing all around, and then the baby comes out, and...what?

"If a baby is born in an art gallery during off hours, does it make a noise"

also how long does she stay there once the baby is born?

Muhammad Ahsan@facebook

Ophelia IT'S ON. I was watching that clip on Hulu repeatedly last night (I lead a really exciting life). Stefon is my man.
Virgin Brazilian Hair

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