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Is Zooey Deschanel's Rendition of the National Anthem Ruining Your Life?
Yesterday the painfully adorable star of The New Girl and female half of the band She & Him sang the national anthem at Game Four of the World Series, and some people didn't like it. It was "the most boring national anthem ever," says JP Moore on Buzzfeed, and "I’m not ready for this sexless sort of knock-kneed kiddie bullshit," says Natasha Vargas-Cooper, at Grantland. "I want to hear the sounds of a woman who has known loss and triumph, not the pubescent squeaks of a flinching sitcom star with cute bangs and a stupid blog." Meanwhile, "i thought Demi Lavoto was suppose to sing. I dont want sports," writes an E! commenter.
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her voice is like really annoying valium.
This just makes me *that* much more excited for the completely necessary She & Him Christmas Album.
Also, I think it was in a key too low for her to sing? If you don't have the range to hit the high notes, that doesn't mean you can just not sing the low ones…
@Ophelia Yes! That was the thing that bothered me.
I'm more concerned about that United States-shaped flag.
@Gertrude – I thought it was Goldfish shaped!
Tonight's National Anthem is brought to you by Fox's New Girl and Pepperidge Farm's Goldfish Crackers.
This is the first time I've heard her sing other than that cotton commercial which was AWFUL. I prefer the simple singing of the melody to the obnoxious showing off that usually accompanies the American anthem. That being said I got bored and turned it off so maybe it got a lot worse. I have no opinion on her bangs.
Edited to add: I turned it off because her singing made my parrot scream. So there's that.
@cheeseandcrackers in the cotton song, she rhymed today with day. UGH. i bet she meant it to be ironic.
@cheeseandcrackers omg…the cotton song. I can't stand that commercial. Mostly because of how she says "cotton," which I'm sure isn't her fault because some producer/vocal person probably told her to pronounce it that way. "The touch, the feel, of CAW-UHN, the fabric of our liieieieieieves" BLEH. It sounds like the way Kristen Wiig sings when she is trying to sound ridiculous.
I was watching the game at a bar last night and everyone was confused like, "Isn't that the girl from 500 Days of Summer? wtf" (I don't think an interest in divey sports bars and She & Him overlaps for most people, besides me.)
See, now the Superbowl slip-up isn't looking THAT BAD, right guys? Redemption 4 Xtina!
@emilylouise You mean there's a chance that the crazed baseball fan who just dumped me (and is the exact reason why I'm trying to forget about this anthem) may have actually heard of 500 Days of Summer?
…that sucks.
I could go either way on Zooey's job myself, but I was at least happy to see someone forego the typical masturbatory vibrato and weird-ass note changes that some stars like to bring to the anthem.
@Katie Heaney Yeah, I thought it was a quite pleasant and straightforward interpretation of a pretty terrible song. The best anyone can hope for with the Star-Spangled Banner is to sing it quickly and get out.
@Katie Heany Oh god yes. Maybe not a perfect performance, but "still" was a one-syllable word, as the founding fathers intended.
@melis I did kind of cringe at the beginning, but then once she got to "rockets' red glare" I figured out what she was doing and why, and it was ok. The parts where she was singing solidly in her range were pretty heartfelt, even.
@melis I agree.
it's a toss up between this and the cotton song.
I couldn't listen to the whole thing.
@CrescentMelissa Glad I'm not the only one…and um…what's up with the singing *really quiet* and then SHOUTING SOME PARTS!!!!!! thing that she's doing? It hurt my ears. And she is literally knock-kneed in that first image, which is ironic when scantily-clad fashion models on heroin pose like that, but borderline pedophilic when adult-aged ever-children with breathy voices in Anthropologie dresses do it. Juuuuuuuust sayin'.
@Meghan-Sara Karre@facebook EXACTLY.
I was wondering who to blame for the Cardinals lack of offense. Now I know.
@graffin Ba-dum-ch! I laughed.
"I thought Fox would be our beachhead in unapologetic American bravado! The national anthem should be sung by someone with swagger, drama, a full-boom voice that stirs even the most numbed-out bro to take off his damn backwards hat."
Natasha Vargas-Cooper, you're my new hero.
@SuperGogo
"The drums of war echo in her crack-ravaged throat!" — Natasha is dangerous and addictive herself.
She wasn't the best National Anthem singer ever, but she certainly wasn't the worst. She remembered all the words, even more established and "better" singers haven't done that [cough, cough Christina Aguilera]. There were parts, especially in the beginning where she was so quiet, you could hardly hear her at all, but overall, she did alright.
The amount of searing hatred in that article is disturbing. It's two and a half minutes of airtime for a sport that a relative few even care about anymore. I honestly hope those people learn to chill the fuck out before they have a damn heart attack.
I mean, it was boring, but not the worst thing ever. But that grantland article is HILARIOUS.
And yet the award for most uninspiring performance of the game goes to that womp-womp Chinook flyover.
@boyofdestiny My exact comment to a co-worker: "I think the main message we get from this video is that helicopter flyovers are about 127% less exciting than regular flyovers."
@annepersand Are they saving the stealth bombers for game 7? It's the World Series! All hands on deck!
@annepersand @boyofdestiny There are, however, circumstances where they are exciting (or scary – one of those). I once got buzzed by a low-flying Chinook while driving through Camp Pendleton. It's a miracle I didn't get into an accident.
Natasha is dishing out some BURNS over there at Grantland. "What the fuck has Zooey DeeDee earned the right to do besides twirl around in a baby doll dress with her face slathered in gluten-free cupcake frosting?"
@rootmarm BURNS! But there's something FUN about being mean to Zooey D?? And not some patriarchy pitching girls against each other; this is something ELSE. Or maybe I'm just an asshole. Probably that.
@rootmarm But isn't that kind of Natasha's thing? Which in a way, is pretty similar to Zooey's thing, i.e. a schtick?
@sox Schtick is excused when it's smart or funny. Zooey's is neither?
@sox What's my thing?
@Natasha Vargas-Cooper "dishing out some BURNS".
I'm pretty neutral on whether to love or hate Zooey's contrived image, her rendition of the national anthem, and reasons for it all. Maybe this is a great place to ask: do you, Natasha in fact hate Zooey? It's quite possible you actually know her and have had lots of interactions on which to base your opinion. But is it a hate thing specific to Zooey or a turning out witty burns thing? My assumption is that it's the latter. All of the linked articles seem like hyperbole to me, which I guess I translate to schtick.
@sox Still unclear what my schtick is? That I publish? I hate things like wonton murder and rape.
@Natasha Vargas-Cooper wanton murder is as bad as dumpling crimes.
@Natasha Vargas-Cooper i don't want to speak for sox, but i read her comment as that your schtick is dishing out some BURNS, which you do amazingly well.
@Natasha Vargas-Cooper As becky noted, yes – you dish out some serious burns, amazingly well. You are a very articulate writer, and I have read more journalistic-y (for lack of a better word?) articles that you've written that weren't saturated with sarcasm -and were extremely well written btw – but I've also read articles and commentary on websites such as the Awl where my impression of you is that you're pretty crass and witty. Not saying it's a bad thing, it's the tone that I associate with you. And as becky said, you do this amazingly well.
That said, since Jay Caspian King didn't wander over to say hello and you did, I posed the question to you. The post on Grantland was far more elaborate than the blurb on Buzzfeed or the E! commenter, and as Tyler notes below, it's gets pretty personal attack-ish. I guess as someone who has actually read quite a few things you've written, and given the crass tone I expect from you, this one seemed to have sincere vitriol, so I wondered if it's just you being extra sharp at dishing out the burns or if you have something personal against her. All in all, both of you have exxagerated characteristics you present: you with the witty sarcasm, her with the saccharine twee.
It makes me sad that people hate on Zooey Deschanel so much and without any apparent reason apart from the fact that she's "too cute." Is it because she has the gall to be pretty, funny, and a nice person, all at the same time, while we're all just turds on a log? Is that why? As a bit of a gloomy person myself, I find her to be a refreshingly delightful bucket of sunbeams, and I've been verrrrry seeeeeecretly watching her new sitcom and TELLING NO ONE. Except for you guys, in this here comment. TELL NO ONE HOW MUCH I SECRETLY ENJOY ZOOEY DESCHANEL'S DELIGHTFULLY SAPPY SITCOM, PLEASE.
@werewolfbarmitzvah I think I like Zooey D as a person (haha, like I know her). I think I hate what she brings out in dudes.
@Katie Heaney What does she bring out in dudes?
@boyofdestiny This, I think.
Not that it's her fault. But still.
@boyofdestiny I'm going to leave aside the obvious dick jokes and reaffirm my belief in Zooey Deschanel's delightfulness. In a perfect world, she and Chloe Sevigny (who would be contractually obligated to dress like her character in If These Walls Could Talk 2 for ever and ever) would make out publicly on the hour, every hour.
@applestoapples that drives me crazy, cause in actuality it is DUDES WHO CREATED MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL. zach braff, specifically. ugh.
@werewolfbarmitzvah you're entitled to your opinion.
one of my main issues with zooey: she is the same character in every film (and, coincidentally, in her new TV show). namely, she's a girl who has the personality of a sarcastic dude but who dresses like a female cabbage patch kid. as an actress, she has no depth.
@boyofdestiny Not all, mind you. But the idea that quirky means quiet, eccentric means doe-eyed and simple, that geeky means wearing glasses…these are things I do not enjoy! I think Zooey allows SOME dudes to feel that they are making a conscious/smart/deliberate choice in liking somebody different, when Zooey (or more so, her characters) is plainly beautiful and totally non-threatening to any standard of feminine stardom that has ever lived. Manic Pixie Dream Girls, etc.
i don't LOVE her, but i think this recent onslaught of zooey hatred seems a little catty. I mean i don't know – she does more things more successfully than I do, she has good taste in music/movies, and she's pretty. If you hate her for those things THAN YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!
@heyad oh & also I don't know – sometimes I imagine if I suddenly became famous and if people started hating me because I wasn't properly "representing" an entire 51% of the glooobe, and I get angry. 'Cause i wouldn't be. If i were famous I'd prolly get drunk a lot and pick roles based purely on the costume design.
@heyad I am totally not saying it's her fault, I hope that's clear! It's more a screenwriter issue, probably, I don't know!
@madge Right, that's why I agree with Katie. I don't hate on Zooey herself (she's cute, although I am unconvinced that she's a good actress). But I dislike the idea of an Ethereal Can of Fix-a-Flat, and she's kind of bent her image over the years to play into that. But hey, everyone's got their schtick.
And not to bring up that tired old meme, but Jennifer Hudson had one of the greatest National Anthem performances of all time
@Katie Heaney Are you encountering this sort of thing in real life, or are you commenting more on the guys in her movies? I don't mean that in an accusatory way or anything, just that I think it would be no good if there were so many feckless weenies walking around outside of a mumblecore script.
@applestoapples yah, i totally get that.
@Katie Heaney Totally. Some guys think they can demonstrate their worth/discernment by saying that they think she's so perfect. The accompanying self-satisfaction, what a sight to behold! But yeah, I guiltily LOLed at her delivery of the line, "He's soft like a towel" in the wedding episode of The New Girl, which yeah, I watched. I watched them all on Hulu.
I refuse to believe I'm alone in thinking Zooey and Chloe would make the most enchanting couple on earth. Their names would RHYME.
@boyofdestiny SO many feckless weenies walking around. The bigger problem is that I have a total weakness for them. Then I can't take the fecklessness anymore and it all ends very badly. (The weeniness has never bothered me too much, but maybe I've just never made it to the breaking point there.)
@melis Consider a namechange (Moey?) just in case? Could make things blend more seamlessly when the time comes (and the Zooey Chloe time will come. Yes it will).
@boyofdestiny South Brooklyn's new minor league baseball team is, in fact, called the Feckless Weenies.
@heyad she is very pretty, i'll give you that. she has very beautiful eyes and hair and is gorgeous. of that, i can't argue. i'm sure she is nice in real life. i've never met her, but i will give you that one too.
however, her public persona, even in interviews, sounds fake. i have a hard time believing that she has ever in any way, shape or form, been a bookish dork. now, i don't mean to insult her personally, but c'mon. you can't tell me that celebs are honest and true and there is no such thing as PR.
i see a zillion college kids on the train daily with fake coke bottle glasses that don't have lenses. we know you can see. i think that pretending to be a nerd has suited her well. however, i don't see her as someone inspiring or who will be a positive role model for future feminists who see her on screen.
she doesn't choose film roles that challenge her. i'm not a fan of her style of singing. are those reasons enough to not like her work? i'm sure personally she's a great person. however, i only have her work to judge her on.
@melis
My parents' dog is named Zoe and her BDF (best dog friend) down the street is named Chloe. They love each other! Zoe & Chloe, it is a thing.
Zoe is even a brunette and Chloe is blonde, based on this I see no reason why the human Zooey and Chloe can't happen.
@applestoapples I would even listen to Jennifer Hudson sing the cotton song.
@Ophelia So would I. Instead, they chose Kate Bosworth, and it came out like Shy Ronnie whisper-singing in the Cotswolds. I might be more annoyed by her Cotton commercial than I am by Zooey's.
@nogreeneggs You'll never know what a gift you gave me today.
@Ophelia she did a pretty great job singing on the weight watchers commercials.
@melis This is the only world I want to live in. Except there would be adaptations to the schedule so that Chloe Sevigny could also make out with me from time to time.
@BadWolf Your proposal has been reviewed and accepted, with the obvious "don't forget about Melis" clause.
@Katie Heaney I just had this exact same conversation with my BFF about Amy Acker. Really like her in things, but if a dude thinks she's great, I probably don't want to talk to that dude.
Anyone else heard about the much ado movie by Joss Whedon? Anyone else feel as strongly negatively as me about Amy Acker as Beatrice?
Um, I kinda liked it? I like that she has kinda that old-timey quality to her voice, and she doesn't over-sing and do all those runs that some other singers do. I guess my stance on Zooey Deschanel is at least she's not Lea Michele.
But her blog is annoying (and I'm not just saying that because I'm a Hairpinner!)
@Lisa Frank Yes, what you are saying. Heh, it is like "Breakfast at Tiffany's": we both kinda liked it? In that unenthusiastic, Zooey-Deschanel-is-singing kind of way!
it was aight – i mean, zooey's fluffy, but fine.
1. I kind of liked it, I think. I'm pretty sure this is how the anthem was originally meant to be sung; simply, with an emphasis on the content, not with craaaazy Mariah Carey hands all up and down in the air and how-long-can-I-hold-the-note-on-"brave" competitions.
2. Can I use this as a forum to express how angry it makes me that sometime in the last 10-15 years, everyone decided it was standard to place your hand over your heart when the anthem is being sung? That was originally a pledge of allegiance activity ONLY and now everyone's all doing it during the anthem, and if you DON'T do it during the anthem, you get GLARES. Can we please go back to just standing up and taking off our hats to be respectful? Please?
@Nutellaface: Although, to be fair, #1 did give us this…
@Bittersweet It's true. I am forever grateful for the broad stripes and bright raaaars.
aww, see, whey zooey was in "elf," i thought she was the cutest thing ever … that scene where she sings "baby it's cold outside" in the shower? LOVE
but then something happened. she started leaning on her Rs and As like she's an andrews sister or something, and the affectation is like fingernails on a blackboard to me.
so, yeah, no active love anymore … but no hatred either. as said above, at least she just sang the damn song without melisma-ing all over it.
@madge But the Andrews sisters are so awesome! I definitely support more Andrews-sisters-like behavior in modern-day starlets.
@melis the andrews sisters ARE awesome. cloyingly singing like you think you are one is NOT!
hey, also, this just occurred to me — is melisma named after you?!?!?
@madge I do not know what melisma is! What is a melisma?
ETA A quick Google search has answered that, but in the interest of fairness and transparency, I'm going to leave my stupid question up there.
Am I a bad person because I think the national anthem is usually pretty boring?
@Liz McClendon@facebook Hell no you're not a bad person for thinking that! I sang it at every single sporting event at my high school from 1991-1993. Not only is it boring, it just straight-up sucks. I can't even watch the Zoey video above because I can't stomach the damn song anymore.
As a card-carrying sports-loving 'Pinner, I have to admit that I usually use the anthem to go get more snacks or refill my glass. Even in the World Series. I'm not AT the game. I've heard both the anthems before MANY MANY MANY times. So I always miss the "controversy over anthem singers" stuff and then I have to go back the next day and be like "ugh, what did I miss while I was preparing myself for a RIGHTEOUS string of Pujols home runs that never showed up???"
Basically, after Marvin Gaye did the national anthem, we should have just retired it and got a new one.
@leon.saintjean unless nelly is available. it's getting hot in herre.
@leon.saintjean yes to this now and forever!
@leon.saintjean: So much yes I'm just gonna leave this here.
@leon.saintjean What about Whitney at the Super Bowl? That was pretty much America fuck yeah!!!!! That much vibrato in a track suit was pretty amazing.
If Zooey D annoys anybody, she annoys me, but I think she did a great job here.
I will preface this by saying that I'm in a weird position reading this post as I've contributed to both this site and HelloGiggles, so I LOVE the ladies at both sites. Saying that, I really have a hard time taking this post seriously as anything more than a collection of internet burns on Zooey Deschanel. I haven't watched her performance and based on the comments, I don't need to. The criticism thrown at her seems to be very mean attacks on her character and not on the technical skill behind her performance. It's like bitching out the squeaky clean Sunday school girl who got the solo in the Christmas pageant because you're jealous how perfect she is/seems in real life. I'm not saying Deschanel is a singer on the level of Adele or Whitney Houston or Dolly Parton (dear God, she should sing at EVERY ball game and make jokes about being at a "ball game"), but this seems like a very "Mean Girls" post and I don't know what to make of it.
@Meghan O'Keefe@facebook I second your Dolly Parton nomination.
@melis Thirded.
And would like to add that your hair looks terrific, because it really does in that picture.
ETA that was originally directed at Meghan but holds true for kayjay as well.
@Meghan O'Keefe@facebook I agree with this sentiment SO MUCH. The performance was remarkably not bad, and I think it's worth exploring why Zooey Deschanel is such an easy target. (Commenting on Zooey's "dumb blog" in a discussion about her singing on TV seems like a low blow?)
@Meghan O'Keefe@facebook: I guess you missed the sarcasm in the headline: "Is Zooey Deschanel's Rendition of the National Anthem Ruining Your Life?" (emphasis mine)
@Hot mayonnaise Yeah. Don't lump Edith in with us devils.
@kayjay FOURTHED. (That word looks weird)
@Meghan O'Keefe@facebook I totally see the sarcastic angle, but none of the linked articles are particularly sarcastic, as much as they are sincerely critical on Deschanel's character. I also adore and respect Edith. This, like Tyler said, is more of a question of the reasons behind attacks on Deschanel's character in general. Her persona has become this target for a lot rage from female sources. To expand the conversation, I think it's interesting to compare popular female animosity towards Deschanel with that towards Whitney Cummings or Chelsea Handler. All three women are considered poor representations of modern females by feminist bloggers, and yet behind the scenes all three women have been taking up the roles of moguls who empower and hire very talented women in the entertainment industry.
@Meghan O'Keefe@facebook I think it is inappropriate (and anti-female) to decide that the only reason other women might dislike her is because of jealousy that they "didn't get the sunday school solo". As a post, I think it's a fine idea to collect these articles together in a way that speaks for itself, in a Jon-Stewart-style collection of clips that highlight the shrillness and pointless viciousness of the news media, and that doesn't at all make this post mean-spirited.
That said, I'm not a perfect person, and I have opinions about people, just like I have people I like and don't like in real life, I'm allowed to not like people who are in the public eye. And it's not anti-feminist to not like someone whether or not she is the most awesomest feminest doing great-things-for-womenest person ever, so I don't think there is anything wrong with people commenting respectfully, as they did on the hairpin (I didn't go to the other articles), about why they don't care for her/her performance/her public persona/her acting skills.
On the other hand, I do think that women in the public eye get a pretty rough deal, and we should/can talk about that too! and that being a brash, confident female comedian is HARD, and we should not for whatever reason decide someone is or isn't helping the feminist cause by doing WHATEVER she's doing. I read an article about how Parks and Rec is more 'feminist' because Leslie champions females and has strong female relationships, whereas in 30 Rock, Liz has no female friends and the jokes aren't as feminist-friendly. But you know what, they are both amazing successful lady comedians doing a great job, and they show two different ways for women to be successful and funny, and I don't think we need to decide which one is "better" for women.
@Meghan O'Keefe@facebook "Her persona has become this target " That's the thing, it's just her persona, something she and her publicist have created. It's her image that people are mostly poking fun at, I don't think anyone here swears they know Zooey, the person, or what her charater is. We wouldn't know that. Some people respond well to her persona, others don't.
@Meghan O'Keefe@facebook Ahh! I didn't mean this to come across as overly critical of Zooey. She can keep on keeping on, but the tone of this piece — and the tongue in cheek title — were meant to be sort of poke fun, lightly, at the mini-internet-freakout over what was a totally normal and sweet, if not particularly "inspired," rendition of the national anthem. I just thought it was funny that people were taking it so seriously, feeling such strong feelings. (That said, I think Natasha is a genius and envy her ability to feel things and have thoughts, instead of just staring in a glaze at the computer, on a daily basis.) So, the easy out, i guess, is that "I like everyone and was just being breezily playful." Which is true, but maybe even more annoying than any of the other things. Oh no! ZOOEY UNDOES US ALL
@Edith Zimmerman Zooey's victory is now complete. She's bringing down the Hairpin without firing a single shot.
@melis Indeed, she has ruined our lives.
I don't want sports either, E! commenter. Keep those sports away from me!
I wish she'd choke a rainbow and get run over by a unicorn.
@parallel-lines i love you.
@parallel-lines like, choke on a rainbow or choke out a rainbow?
@rootmarm ON the rainbow, or the rainbow could put her in a sleeper hold and noogie her until her bangs were all staticky. I have no preference either way.
Is she kicking puppies and spitting on babies? No? Okay then, I don't really need to judge her.
@Awesomely Nonfunctional More judging for the rest of us, then!
But also then the commentators spent the 7th inning stretch zooming in on the seats that Zooey and celeb manfriends had vacated earlier in the game and saying "We will find you. We will find you with our cameras". I like Zooey Deschanel+World Series moments that don't involve Zooey Deschanel's presence or participation, is what I'm saying.
@bouncy castle "Why do we set aside a cup and a seat tonight?"
"It is the Kos shel Zooey ha-Navi."
that dress is kinda bad.
@isavedlatin When I saw that toilet paper doily/Christmas tree skirt I instinctively knew to hit the mute.
@LRMG Hey, at least she wasn't dressed like American in the Miss Universe pageant…although it was close.
As for the performance, I could take it or leave it. Sure it was a little boring, but so is baseball. I do think this Natasha Vargas-Cooper sounds like a wretched sea hag. Who does she think she is?
@Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook Seious, I didn't think a ho-hum version of the national anthem would inspire so much rage, yikes.
@Kerri Mercury Morris DAAAYUMMMMM. Slow down, lil mermaid. My singing voice has been described as 'lilting' and 'dulcet'. Occupation as a aquatic banshee notwithstanding. xo
@Natasha Vargas-Cooper @Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook – Second the lilting and dulcet.
@Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook Careful, she thinks she's Teddy Roosevelt.
@melis CHARGE!!!
I wish I had a voice that gorgeous is all.
In keeping with the theme, to use a baseball term,I would say that it was a replacement-level anthem. People have done it worse, people have done it better, but hers sounded like the standard version of the anthem, sort of like the ones they play when Americans win gold at the Olympics. And, for what it's worth, it did not even occur to me that people would be talking about it the next day.
"I dont want sports"! Adorable.
But yeah, agree with everyone else here. I don't actually hate Zooey, I kind of hate the pixie twee dreamgirl fairy unicorn ukulele vintage adorable bullshit. I'm sure it's only her public persona, and that she's probably not like that normally.
@cosmia YES. thank you.
@cosmia She is like that normally–or at least that's what she's going with: http://nymag.com/arts/tv/profiles/zooey-deschanel-2011-9/
@parallel-lines Yeah, I think that's her for real. I think that what annoys me though, and I speak as a bespectacled, 'creative', literate, dress-wearing white girl in her late-20s, is that she's sort of been picked as some distant relation of our ambassador, or something, and for not such great reasons. And I guess that at some point, I decided to take offense. Or whatever.
I don't REALLY care though. It's just like, ugh, enough.
@Esther C. Werdiger. Amen to the fact that she's supposed to be our ambassador. As a brown haired, blue-eyed woman with glasses and a creative bent and some vintage clothing, I think I got tired of the way she intersects with men I date, who all think she's "ADORKABLE" (UGH UGH), and the way that her persona gets superimposed on me.
And those guys think there's something so special about liking Zooey, like it's some mature refined taste of theirs, because she's not just Pamela Andersoning around with boobies out, she's more demure or something, she's classy and wears glasses, which means you supposedly can't see that she's pretty and has a nice rack. So it's not really about her, but her persona; the carefully crafted, non confrontational, very personable, super cute non threating creature that she is. Even though I'm sure that at home she's a real whole human person, in public she only plays a facet of a person who is adorable and charming and ever so quirky.
So yeah, she's sort of harmless, but not. Because I can be adorable and charming, but at the end of the day I also can throw a mean temper tantrum and hold strong opinions and am not a posable doll. And I don't completely blame Zooey- if someone told me all I had to do to be rich was appear likable, its not like I'd turn them down. But I don't have to like her or think it's admirable of her as a person to just take money to be adorable. When you take her whole body of work and stack it up on top of itself, I'd argue there's something mildly troubling about it. There's something about the way it's disarming to people, so that she plays characters who often have no agency or depth, but somehow is seen as a role model for women. That I don't like. I don't hate her per se, but I don't mind a mean little chuckle about someone else ripping her for having a lack of depth. She's not Saint Zooey, she's a celebrity who got there by family connections.
@E Yes! Yes. I wonder if I'm jealous sometimes but there are really a number of female actors and performers and artists that I really love and admire. At the end of the day, she's sort of a convergence of qualities carefully selected by some marketing department. I guess I'm also afraid that people will model themselves on that, or something. Then you end up with the person version of The Film Musical based on the Broadway Musical based on The Film based on The Book based on The Law and Order Episode based on A Piece In The Post.
May have just gotten carried away with my own metaphor. Simile. Whatever!
@E: "And those guys think there's something so special about liking Zooey, like it's some mature refined taste of theirs, because she's not just Pamela Andersoning around with boobies out, she's more demure or something, she's classy and wears glasses, which means you supposedly can't see that she's pretty and has a nice rack."
I agree with this 100%. I think I react negatively to women who are presented as the thinking man's sex object (or the indie dude's sex object or what have you) and it's because 1) dudes, you're not the first person to think Natalie Portman/Zooey Deschanel/Mary Elizabeth Winstead is cute and 2) she's still pretty, and thin, and white, and not that much of a deviation from the Hollywood norm.
Also, Pamela Anderson as a verb is amazing. Thank you.
@cosmia She is like that normally–or at least that's what she's going with: http://nymag.com/arts/tv/profiles/zooey-deschanel-2011-9/
More people care about Zoeey than the World Series this year. Good for Zooey, bad for baseball.
For me, she stands in as the girl that always enchants my Zach Braffian crush du jour away, so I have a deep, primeval jealous boner/rage for/about her? I'm sure she's a lovely person though?
This is in response to cosima up there, but for some reason, I can't get the reply function to work. Anyway, cosima, in case you happen to stumble upon this later, that twee fantasy pixie girl horseshit very much strikes me as fetishizing little girls, which, um, you know. Ew. Maybe I'm way off base with that (in keeping with the baseball theme, sure, why not) or my motherly instincts are kicking in, but damn, seeing grown men getting all frothy over a woman with the body of an 11 year old who dresses like a 9 year old kind of skeeves me a little bit.
@kayjay You know, a woman "with the body of an 11 year old" is still a woman. Complain all you want about women who dress like little girls to be cute or sexy, but when you aren't careful with your words like in your comment above it can come across as if you're calling out a body type for not being "womanly" enough to warrant sexual interest.
@chirdia Definitely wasn't my intention. I've been every size and shape under the sun over the past 36 years, and still remained a woman through it all. Well, except when I was little girl. You know what I mean. Anyway, I was mostly focusing on the sexualizing of little girl stuff and less on the body weight thing. Sorry if I offended anyone.
@kayjay Oh i accidentally deleted my comment. UGH. What I said was "Wowwwww what a classy response! Bravo kayjay, I like you."
@kayjay Yeah, hmm… it's also the behaviour bit of it, too. Like, the twee, innocent, wide eyed thing. Which, don't get me wrong. I luuurve to play up a bit of that. It's fun! But it's not the only facet of my personality OR my persona. And, to tie back in to the up-thread comments about the reaction to her persona, the way the reaction is basically 'aaaaw you are so SWEET! Let me put you in a little box so you can twirl! Awww, you don't know how to function as a human, how cuuuuute' is super infantalising and gross.
@chirdia Thanks. I spent a lot of time unintentionally pissing people off yesterday. My brain-mouth connection, she does not work like she used to.
I liked her well enough when she was still mostly playing the "quirky friend" character in movies. But when you're playing the lead and the entirety of your range is "adorably twee," it gets a bit tiresome. It's nothing against her personally but I just kind of can't stand her anymore. Not to mention the whole "Of course I'm a vegan cupcake baker who sings retro sixties-style folk-pop ditties and plays ukelele and is married to an indie rock star!" thing. I guess it's not really her fault that she embodies such a hipster stereotype.
You know, Zooey is lovely, and honestly this is the most I've ever liked her voice. I'm not a fan of the doo-wop type stuff that She and Him seems to emulate in the songs I hear when shopping at Nordstrom Rack, and her singing on the cotton commercial struck me as Very Bad Indeed, so this was a pleasant surprise.
Cracked recently had an article in which they picked apart her character on the New Girl a bit, and I liked this paragraph to describe why so many people [read: me] have an issue with her:
Hollywood is still teaching women that “dumb” is “attractive,” they’re just hipsterfying it. I don’t know when it happened (maybe after Clueless?), but sometime after the ’90s, “Quirky Eccentric Weird Chick” became the new Bimbo. She’s just as insultingly one-dimensional as the archetypal Ditsy Blonde Bombshell Valley Girl character that was all over the place a decade ago, except now she wears vintage knee-socks and listens to The Smiths, and that’s supposed to be better, for some reason.
Are you trying to trick me into caring about something that happened at a sporting event? T'ain't going to work, no sir.
I have difficulty telling her apart from Katy Perry.
@Esther C. Werdiger. Amen to the fact that she's supposed to be our ambassador. As a brown haired, blue-eyed woman with glasses and a creative bent and some vintage clothing, I think I got tired of the way she intersects with men I date, who all think she's "ADORKABLE" (UGH UGH), and the way that her persona gets superimposed on me.
And those guys think there's something so special about liking Zooey, like it's some mature refined taste of theirs, because she's not just Pamela Andersoning around with boobies out, she's more demure or something, she's classy and wears glasses, which means you supposedly can't see that she's pretty and has a nice rack. So it's not really about her, but her persona; the carefully crafted, non confrontational, very personable, super cute non threating creature that she is. Even though I'm sure that at home she's a real whole human person, in public she only plays a facet of a person who is adorable and charming and ever so quirky.
So yeah, she's sort of harmless, but not. Because I can be adorable and charming, but at the end of the day I also can throw a mean temper tantrum and hold strong opinions and am not a posable doll. And I don't completely blame Zooey- if someone told me all I had to do to be rich was appear likable, its not like I'd turn them down. But I don't have to like her or think it's admirable of her as a person to just take money to be adorable. When you take her whole body of work and stack it up on top of itself, I'd argue there's something mildly troubling about it. There's something about the way it's disarming to people, so that she plays characters who often have no agency or depth, but somehow is seen as a role model for women. That I don't like. I don't hate her per se, but I don't mind a mean little chuckle about someone else ripping her for having a lack of depth. She's not Saint Zooey, she's a celebrity who got there by family connections.
@Esther C. Werdiger. Amen to the fact that she's supposed to be our ambassador. As a brown haired, blue-eyed woman with glasses and a creative bent and some vintage clothing, I think I got tired of the way she intersects with men I date, who all think she's "ADORKABLE" (UGH UGH), and the way that her persona gets superimposed on me.
And those guys think there's something so special about liking Zooey, like it's some mature refined taste of theirs, because she's not just Pamela Andersoning around with boobies out, she's more demure or something, she's classy and wears glasses, which means you supposedly can't see that she's pretty and has a nice rack. So it's not really about her, but her persona; the carefully crafted, non confrontational, very personable, super cute non threating creature that she is. Even though I'm sure that at home she's a real whole human person, in public she only plays a facet of a person who is adorable and charming and ever so quirky.
So yeah, she's sort of harmless, but not. Because I can be adorable and charming, but at the end of the day I also can throw a mean temper tantrum and hold strong opinions and am not a posable doll. And I don't completely blame Zooey- if someone told me all I had to do to be rich was appear likable, its not like I'd turn them down. But I don't have to like her or think it's admirable of her as a person to just take money to be adorable. When you take her whole body of work and stack it up on top of itself, I'd argue there's something mildly troubling about it. There's something about the way it's disarming to people, so that she plays characters who often have no agency or depth, but somehow is seen as a role model for women. That I don't like. I don't hate her per se, but I don't mind a mean little chuckle about someone else ripping her for having a lack of depth. She's not Saint Zooey, she's a celebrity who got there by family connections.
I'm with the E! commenter. And I want to hear Demi Lovato sing the national anthem now.
@Blanca Méndez She is! Tonight! She also sang it a few years ago at the Dallas Cowboys Thanksgiving game… I think. Some football game in Texas, for sure.
She has a cool voice, but when it got lower you couldn't even hear it. Meh. Her bangs and hipster cuteness make me want to punch her anyway.
Italics! Begone!
Ugh. She is one of those people who gets so under my skin that I have convinced myself she's too hideous to even look at — even though I don't necessarily think there's anything inherently or specifically wrong with her appearance (I hope that made sense), and I like lots of the clothes I see her photographed in. But I hate how "wide-eyed with bangs" seems to automatically equal quirky… and I hate how the only adjective anyone ever uses to describe her is "quirky"… and what the hell does this chick do that is so quirky anyway — not have faux boobs and blond hair? (And those things I just listed are not necessarily even her fault — but I am mad at her anyway! Oh, it's completely unreasonable of me… and yet…)
I rather liked it. She has a voice that's like the female version of Johnny Cash – really low and nice, and not very virtuosic. I think it's (wait for it) ADORABLE how fluttery her vibrato was – clearly she was nervous. I only wish she had sung it faster.
Two words: Tin Man. Are we all just pretending that mini-series never happened? Because…it did. And it still makes me sad thinking about it.
@JStallz Never forget.
Zoey Deschanel just always reminds me of all the super-hip girls from college that I don't to talk to anymore, on account of they are not nearly as interesting as they think they are, and are actually pretty damn mean. But…I thought she sounded kinda neat? And I think, props for not doing that trilly, trembly stuff people do when they are Singing The National Anthem? And she knew the WORDS! How often does THAT happen?
Eh. Not the most passionate rendition ever, but as others have said, at least you could make out the melody and she knew the words.
i thought it was fine!
I enjoy a good burn myself, but that Grantland article was out of control! And I like Grantland! Why can't all of my interwebz get along? And not unnecessarily slam ladies?
I agree that her TV show is way too twee, so I just, you know, don't watch it, instead of watching it to ratchet up my rage level!
What's the problem? She's got a beautiful and unique voice. Calm down everyone.
@Rebecca Pardess@twitter Has telling someone to calm down ever resulted in anything other than righteous indignation?
CALM DOWN
CALM DOWN???
MELIS SMASH
@melis THERE THERE "shhhh, shhhh, shush, shhhhhhhhhhhh"
melis
melis smash…
Hey, I wouldn't be caught dead watching her stupid sitcom, but I have no problem with her rendition. It was pretty. I liked it. I get tired of everyone showing off all their bells and whistles when they get a chance to sing the national anthem, trying to impress everyone.
A few days ago one of my favorite renditions ever happened in the same ballpark
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaKkccPq5BA&feature=related
I don't know who Jack Ingram is but I'm sold on whatever that was.
All this makes me think of is how long it's been since Natasha Vargas-Cooper and Julie Klausner did a FMK. Sigh…
You know, I can understand if you don't like the roles that Zooey Deschanel plays in films, fine, whatever. But why are so many other women taking it out on her as a real person, to the point where they can't even enjoy her singing the national anthem? She is not who she plays on TV. She was not out there with a cot-dang ukelele and a Grand Ole Opry hairdo and a white lace dress. She went out in a cute dress and nice hair and sang the national anthem in a straightforward, unpretentious, respectful way. People are not complaining about her singing the National Anthem, they are complaining about her existence. And not even that, really, they are complaining about what she seems to represent. Most of the comments in this post amount to "I don't like what Zooey Deschanel brings out in the men in my life."
And you know what? That is the fault of the dudes in your life, not Zooey Deschanel. When men react badly or inappropriately to women's otherwise neutral behavior, it is their fault. If men meet a woman like Zooey Deschanel and put her on a pedestal and demand that all the women around them live up to that standard, then that dude sucks. Have you ever read an interview with Zooey Deschanel where she implied that other types of women are somehow inferior or less desireable? She found a public persona that makes her a lot of money. If you have a problem with her popularity, go get mad at the people throwing money at her for acting this way.
The Natasha Vargas-Cooper piece is some unfeminist bullshit, and I say that as somebody who otherwise enjoys NV-C's work. She doesn't hate Zooey Deschanel as a person, she hates her for representing a particular form of femininity that she doesn't seem to like. If you don't like the kind of woman that Zooey is, then don't be her. If you don't want to wear a frilly white dress, then don't wear one. But this kind of vicious teardown of a woman who isn't doing anything wrong except making innocuous life choices that happen to differ from yours is some unsisterly shit. If Zooey Deschanel is the greatest existing threat to feminism then we must be doing pretty goddamn well.
@Diana Yes! Thank you.
@Diana PREACH!
@Diana YES! YES! YES! A lot of these comments actually say a lot more about their writers than they do anything real about Zooey Deschanel.
Also, I LIKE her sitcom: she's a girl who doesn't care what anyone thinks, who dances like a silly person at a wedding because ITS FUN and fuck anyone who thinks otherwise. That, right there, is a great example to budding feminists (not that we should be falling into that 'who's the better feminist' claptrap).
I really dug her old-timey, straight-forward, simple-in-its-sweetness voice, too.
@femwanderluster
i really love zooey's letter for vogue when she was 17. http://www.thefrisky.com/2011-05-13/17-year-old-zooey-deschanel-wrote-an-angry-letter-to-vogue/
yes she plays these adorable, endearing characters but i like seeing someone who likes the smiths in movies.
i love her in hitchhikers guide to the galaxy – and the only reason i can watch failure to launch is because i love the romance between her and the nerdy guy she ends up with.
i wish someone like her had been on tv when i was growing up to say, you know what, you can be who you want to be as long as you own it.
maybe i see what i want to see, but that's the zooey i see.
@Diana YES. You said perfectly what I couldn't put my finger on. I'm not a big fan of the manic pixie girl stereotype either, but it's the MEN WHO WRITE these characters who drive me mad, not the women who play them.
I think it's more that we're not used to hearing altos sing the National Anthem.
Thought she did fine, m'self.
(But then again, I have a serious bias against bad soprano scatting and their butchery of the Anthem.
Also?
When is someone going to bust out the second or third verse of the Anthem? They're incredible.