Wednesday, October 19, 2011


Dear Naomi Wolf

Dear Naomi,

The dress you were wearing when you were wrongfully and insanely arrested last night by NYPD during an Occupy Wall Street protest is not an "evening gown." Evening gowns are floor-length; you were wearing a "cocktail dress."

Jane Marie

38 Comments / Post A Comment

Lily Rowan

<3 u, Jane!

Jane Marie

@Lily Rowan <3 u back!

Lily Rowan

@Jane Marie I mean, seriously. Everything else? YES! "Evening gown"? Nope.

Jolie Kerr

@Lily Rowan Neverending pig pile on Janie

Jane Marie

@Jolie Kerr stop! i can't breathe! :) jk, i want to die down here.


p.s. That's a great colour on you grrrrrrrrrrrrrrl!


Thank goodness for reporters and other informed people who are willing to take a stand. Job well done, Naomi Wolf. Job well done.


@wee_ramekin Yes, I sometimes get a little Naomi Wolf-ed out, but this was excellent, dress issue notwithstanding.




OMG I did not know this. Seriously, all future "lady friends" of mine are going to owe the editors/writers of the hairpin, like, a billion free drinks, because said future ladies will not have to deal with the following questions/comments from me, which the would have without you:

"What do you mean should you wear the jumper? What is a jumper? Isn't that baby clothes?"
"You could thank me with surprise sex"
"That's not the cocktail dress I was talking about. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE."
"What in the fuck are these millions of bottles of skinpaint all over the fucking place for you look the same all the time how do you need so much shit for your face?"
"Do you listen to Rush?"



I think it was Cynthia Heimel who mentioned that many men believe ANY article of women's clothing is a "dress."


@leon.saintjean we're also going to make you pinky swear that you won't ask any future lady friends to clean a jizzcliner.

science is sexy@twitter

@becky@twitter or MAKE a jizzcliner D:


@becky@twitter I will agree to that, as long as I am allowed to continue not seperating my whites from my colors. I mean, I wear a black tshirt, jeans, and socks pretty much every day. They are all 100% cotton. I do not understand why on earth I have to seperate them.

And yes, I know the tshirts will fade. But they cost $8, and are ruined through kitchen/construction/drinking activities before I ever get them to that point, at which point they become work shirts, so no biggie.



@leon.saintjean that is fine. future lady friends will probably get sick of your shirts, so their destruction by laundry is acceptable.

two gold stars for you, sir. and an extra one cause we know you own a fancy cheese slate.


@becky@twitter Haha. I want to start a tumblr now which is all about hairpin ladies teaching me to act like a grownup, and me fighting my inner battles of "you know, i should really yell at my company for hiring a scantily dressed lady to stand in our booth at a trade show" vs "i want to quit my job and live in the woods and be ron swanson".


@leon.saintjean someone needs to get to photoshoppin your head on this: http://www.nbc.com/parks-and-recreation/exclusives/swanson-pyramid.pdf

Jolie Kerr

@leon.saintjean everythingIneedtoknowIlearnedfromthehairpin.tumblr.com


@leon.saintjean Is it wrong that I fell in love with you a little for that comment?

also for the part where you left Hemingway for the hairpin. As a lit major who is damned sick of all the litboys who think Hemingway is the be-all end-all, I appreciate that comment.


@leon.saintjean I WOULD READ THAT. Both the hairpin learnings and the story of your quest to become Ron. Either one is fine with me. Please provide links, immediately.


@leon.saintjean I would 100% read the shit out of that.

@City_dater a (gay) man I once worked with called all of my clothing 'frocks'. 'That's a nice frock.' 'It's a tshirt and a skirt.' 'Whatever.' I'll admit it did make the workplace more fancy. Frocks! I own quite a few dresses at the moment, but I wouldn't say I own any frocks. Or gowns.

@Teffodee I often read lean.saintjean's posts with a fluttering heart. I mean, REALLY!


@dozens of awesome ladies - i may have to start experimenting w/ this in my tumblr. you've convinced me.

fondue with cheddar

@Craftastrophies I dated a man who called clothing "frocks" and, in hindsight, I suspect he was gay. He wasn't a curly-haired guy named Anthony by chance, was he? (He had foot issues too, but different than us. His was more an aversion to feet, including his own.)


@jen325 No, this was a shaggy haired man called Iain. Who wore cravats. I am so glad to be out of that workplaces, but I worked with some FANCY people there.

My cousin has an aversion to feet. But I think she can deal with her own. Did he, like... freak out if he saw his feet when he was walking?

fondue with cheddar

@Craftastrophies Haha, no! Can you imagine how debilitating that would be?! I guess he would have to wear long skirts all the time.

His problem was touching feet. He didn't like to touch his own feet any more than necessary, but other people's feet creeped him out. If my foot accidentally touched him while we were lying in bed, he would jump out of bed as if there were a spider under the sheets or something.

Cravats, huh? With shaggy hair? That's an interesting combination.


Thank you. These distinctions are important, damn it. Words mean what they mean.


Naomi missed a primo chance to rock a spider fascinator.

Any One Ninja Plot

She very nearly loses all credibility.


If I could be a bit pedantic, the first time she said she was in an evening gown, and I cringed and like Jane thought "bish your dress is not a gown". At the end of the article though she says she was in an evening dress, and she was possibly not wrong (depending on the fabric of the dress, of course).



Wait, what? Are you saying she changed clothes during this? No, because she would have changed into some kind of superhero costume. So she could be even more insufferable. Because, yes, arresting her is completely ridiculous, but still, ick.


@Kneetoe No, because it is CLEARLY not a gown of any description. But it is a dress, and it is worn in the evening, perhaps classifying as evening wear and therefore maybe scraping in as an 'evening dress' on a technicality. An evening gown is what Disney Princesses wear, though, and it ain't that thing.

Why does she mention her dress/gown SO MANY TIMES? Is it to emphasise how posh she is?

Also, as someone with a VERY USEFUL thesis on the Cold War, I appreciated the 'Stalinist' riposte to the usual 'socialist'/'Marxist' crap about the protesters.


@Kneetoe HI KNEETOE!!! also, i agree about her insufferability! and @Craftastrophies - why did she mention it so many times!?!?!? also, i don't actually think without examining the fabric myself that it was an evening dress either - looks too informal... needs more disney princessesessessssss


Yes. Next let's get everyone to know the difference between a garter and a garter belt.


@Bubbles Exactly! They are clearly two different things, people!

Kenneth Berserk

I logged in specifically to say YES Jane. And to also maybe point out that while what happened to Noami Wolf is totally awful, her repeated 'But I was with my rich friends and was dressed nice (in a COCKTAIL DRESS) makes her sound like an asshole. As if it should be particularly offensive to us that SHE was arrested. SIGH... Noami Wolf why do you make me like your politics and hate your general attitude?


Dear Jane,
Doesn't it also drive you crazy to see a lady wearing gloves and holding a drink? Or wearing a brimmed hat at night? Do you like Miss Manners too? Will you please be my friend, no one else understands.



Also, la la la, if you listen to the video, she misquotes the cop. I'm not an expert, but I thought the point of putting things in quotes was to denote what was actually said.

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