Monday, October 31st, 2011
19

Chivalry Alive in the Midwest

"It's a very original case to say the least."
—A 48-year-old Wisconsin man in a mask attacked the 26-year-old female exchange student he'd been hosting, hoping to tie her up, leave her, and then come back as his regular self and "save" her. Except he wasn't strong enough and eventually had to run away, so she called the cops, they figured him out, and now he's in jail. Also, he's married and has children. Not sure what the saddest part of this story is, but it might be that most people live their whole lives without anyone plotting to tie them up and then rescue them. No, it's the freaky attack part, but still.

19 Comments / Post A Comment

Anne (#292)

*cough cough* Car trouble?

britt (#5,869)

Pleasant Prairie?! My gym-town. Who knew they hosted such winners…

Pound of Salt (#5,637)

Thank God he didn't try to stick a jawbreaker in her mouth.

breadtwinkle (#10,543)

@Pound of Salt I hope at least this whole thing played out with a better soundtrack, too.

Pound of Salt (#5,637)

@bonemeaux No 90s soundtrack is complete without Letters to Cleo!

Kneetoe (#329)

He should have killed her first. AND THEN BROUGHT HER BACK TO LIFE.

Man he could've been a real hero.

Hot mayonnaise (#2,997)

She must have been hot.

#ohspates

dracula's ghost (#5,105)

this is such a sad tale! except for the part about her successfully fighting him off, which is awesome.

I love how it's like they were both appearing in their own, very different, versions of an "imperiled-woman" film. His version is the boring sexist kind, and hers is rad and feminist. We all fantasize about successfully fighting off an attacker, and I guess I never thought about how dudes probably fantasize about saving a lady from said attacker too. BUT BOTH THINGS CAN NOT HAPPEN IN THE SAME SCENARIO!

I'm glad hers won

melis (#841)

@dracula's ghost What a lot of people don't know is that she actually successfully engineered this entire scenario in a brilliant reverse-sexism gambit. She manipulated him via sleep hypnosis and subliminal messages into falling in love with her and also becoming insane – all so she could beat a man up who was trying to convince her he was trying to rescue her.

Kneetoe (#329)

@melis

And here I thought HE did the whole thing as a public service warning to other dads who host or will host foreign exchange students. Of course he had to let her win for this to work.

melis (#841)

@Kneetoe It's all a rich tapestry.

Ellie (#2,231)

@dracula's ghost I fantasize near incessantly about successfully fighting off an attacker. One of the best moments of my life was finally watching True Romance because that scene with Patricia Arquette is basically the fulfillment of all my wildest dreams. I'm always looking for news stories about women who fight off attackers too. (No, I have never taken a self defense class.)

S.T. VanAirsdale (#4,190)

I once lost a leg staging a romantic shark rescue. But it worked! Really opens up new options in the bedroom, too, lemme tell you.

Ham Snadwich (#5,451)

It's too bad she wasn't a hero cat. Then he'd be a double hero.

Coincidentally, the same guy could never figure out that his coworkers Clark and Clark were a guy who occasionally wore contacts.

Honey Vadger (#10,789)

He's just a hero in a long line of heroes. Looking for something attractive to save.

gobblegirl (#4,014)

@Honey Vadger You win Hairpin for the day, good for you. E-drinks are on us!

Megano! (#7,435)

Jesus Christ what is wrong with people today? Also this makes me very glad that the one time I was an exchange student I stayed with a single mom.

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