70
A Matter of Perspective
American college-aged students are convinced that one fits soundly into the middle-age category at 35. Respondents who are actually 35, however, would beg to differ with these youngsters. Rather, for them, middle age is still half a decade away, with 40 representing the inaugural year. Such disagreement over when this term applies… may be an entirely American affair, however. Recently, a large sample of Swiss participants spanning several generations agreed with one another that middle-aged people are those who are between 35 to 53 years of age.
In a recent study, Europeans continue to show American college students how to chill.
I have a few months left, thanks for depressing the hell out of me.
@shenannies Yep 35 in April here and I must say this milestone is feeling tougher than 30. But I know a lot of fine people rocking the 35 – 45 bracket and I'd rather hang with them so I guess they can suck my middle-aged left one.
@JuiceBox I turned 35 in May and I agree–it was WAY harder than 30. But like you, I have rocking-it-hard role models who are still chonologically ahead of me, so I'm slowly bouncing back from my despair and existential dread of a few months ago.
@JuiceBox I LOVED turning (and being) 30. Loved, loved, loved it. One of the best, happiest years of my life. 35, however, was the first year I realized, "Crap. I'm a GROWN UP." It was not pretty. Since then, I've decided to be 30 again, now and forever. I refuse to acknowledge any other number, and am much happier this way. My mom loves it, too, because she has also decided to be 30. It's fun. Try it!
@Bebe I've actually really enjoyed my (pretty recent) realization that I am now a grown up. I'm 35 and this literally just happened about 3 months ago, though. It beats being a confused, scared, broke, insecure 20-something. Also, people consistently underestimate my age by 10 years or more, which is actually incredibly annoying and vaguely insulting. It's really awkward to have to explain that, no, I didn't just graduate from law school, in fact I graduated 10 years ago, and see the wheels spinning in their heads as they calculate how incredibly old I actually am.
American college-aged students need to STFU.
And the Swiss! Well, I love the Swiss, but they can shut it too.
and here I was, basking in the warmth of my illusion that 33 is young-ish (I heard it on the radio last week). gonna grab an autumn sweater.
I like to think that 50 is middle aged.
I think the answer depends entirely on how long you expect to live.
@NeenerNeener I agree! Although it was a really depressing thought I had the other day when I realized that I might be middle-aged now in my early 30s (for some reason, the males in my family usually outlive the females – so not fair!). Hope the other half is even better though!
@LastMinuteLulu I refuse to look at early 30's as middle aged because that would be like admitting I'm going to work until I die. And no. NO! Hopefully you set a new record. To the second two-thirds!
@NeenerNeener Ha, thanks! I'm on the smoking/drinking/eating bacon diet so we'll see how it goes.
@LastMinuteLulu We both will. A life not lived is not worth living past retirement for, I guess.
I may be middle aged but at least I don't like stupid shit like coning and dub step and saggy butt skinny jeans. Suck it, kids, you're lame!
@parallel-lines Dub step can eat a bag of dicks.
@Gnatalby dubstep and the fact that pubic hair has been outlawed are the 2 things that make my 38 year old ass feel about 100. get off my lawn!
@parallel-lines Excuse me? "Coning?" What is THAT?
I had a bad feeling about it, just Googled it and the first link I saw was titled "CONE-ING IS THE NEW PLANKING!!!!!" so I quickly shut the tab in disgust. Then I made myself reopen and read the link… wait seriously, it's grabbing ice cream cones by the ice cream? WHAT?
@emilylouise wait, what is planking, coning, AND Dub step?? And @madge, when did pubes become outlawed???
@emilylouise Wait, what??
Yeah, I guess I am middle-aged. Which is HORRIFYING.
@emilylouise Why on earth would you ruin perfectly good ice cream that way? Kids these days!
@parallel-lines Wasteful! Also have y'all heard of "owling"? I think TheBloggess said it best: "We're doing deep knee bends in the name of whimsy? Shenanigans."
@Lily Rowan: I don't know, it beats the alternative…
Coning, planking, dub step… I hate/don't understand all this shit AND I'm only 25, one can only imagine the level of irritation I will have built up to once I become "officially" middle aged in 10 years.
@Bittersweet Truth.
But seriously, coning is just a joke, right? Not a real thing?
@Lily Rowan "Batmanning" It's the new owling
@maevemealone Just no. I'm sorry. NO.
@parallel-lines Dub step is the most boring thing to listen to – are you supposed to be high in order to enjoy it? It makes me irritable.
Ughhh so I will be middle aged in three short years according to the Swiss? What do they know, their cheese is horrible.
I'm convinced that no matter how I age I'm going to feel naive, out-of-place, and mildly insecure… working toward the day I wake up and don't give a flying f***.
@selkie86 No matter what you do, teenagers will never think you're cool after thge age of 30 unless you're giving them drugs/alcohol*, which they won't even be gracious enough to consume with you.
*don't do that, make 'em work for it like kids back in my generation.
I hate all of these people.
I guess I'll take comfort from the fact that I went from "omg what??" to 'doesn't matter' in the time it took me to click post a comment. That and an autumn sweater with birdie up there.
I teach college students and I'm here to tell you that they have no sense of what any age above 22 actually looks like. I'm 32 and I think I look it. I have shared my age with a couple of my classes, only to be met with utter astonishment ("No way, I thought you were, like, 25!"). So, yeah – just ignore them. Actual adulthood will give them opportunities to find out what 30 means like soon enough.
@MmeLibrarian Did you see the 30 Rock episode in which Jane Krakowski plays a role on Gossip Girl as the mother of a teenager who's dying of old age at 41? Pretty much sums it up.
@SuperGogo To clarify, the mother is dying, not the daughter. Damn you, misplaced modifiers and non-functioning edit buttons!
@MmeLibrarian
So I graduated from college last December and I'm willing to admit I fall into this clueless group of not knowing how old people are based on what they look like. I am 22 now and I have found in my post-grad experience that most of the people I meet that I think look the same age as me are actually 3-6 years older than I am…. and then the people who are like 7-10 years older than me I would have pegged to be no more than 4 years older than me. Basically, I just think everyone looks the same as me.
@MmeLibrarian I think it's because we are all socialized to believe that on your 26th birthday, you turn into a shriveled old crone and cannot possibly be attractive or pleasant to look at for one second beyond your 25th year. And then you get older, and you realize that there are some hot lookin' women well into their 40s, and you thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
@Bebe Yes, this. I deal with a fair number of college-age interns and have seen this play out again and again. In the beginning of their rotation, they are pretty well convinced that every woman over 30 resembles their pleasant-faced high school music teacher, the one with the clogs and the seasonal socks. Gradually, they come to understand that some of the more attractive professional women are those in the 30-45 bracket, mostly because said women have figured out how to groom, dress, and flirt. Some of the interns embrace this new wisdom; others visibly struggle with it.
@MmeLibrarian I am 22 and teach high school and middle school, and so benefit from students poor guessing skills. They generally put me at 27 or 28 (which I'm GLAD about, bc teaching kids who are only 4 years younger than you, I need all of the pretend authority I can muster).
Meanwhile, one of my best coworker friends is 37. They think she is the same age as me.
I had a major crisis when I turned 30. I thought I'd have a good 10 years before my next meltown. Fuck! Even when I was in college, middle age always seemed about 40.
I'm Asian, so I already know what's going to happen: http://a.yfrog.com/img614/7751/aekrd.jpg
@di Oh god that was gold. At least you'll look awesome way longer than I will!!!
I'm just thrilled to see that this site isn't made up entirely of 20-somethings as I have been fearing all along. Not that I don't love you kids, but some perspective from the "middle-aged" is nice to have too!
@getmeout Beware the meet-ups though. I had much fun but I felt old, old, old…particularly when I made a reference to Tiffany's "Could Have Been" and was met with a sea of blank faces. You fellow "middle-aged" Chicagoans better get your ass out for the next one! Even you, lurkers!
@getmeout Maybe us oldsters should petition for a new site. Might I suggest The Wheelchair?
@hands_down The Cocoon?
@hands_down The Lawn (as in, you damn kids get off my)?
@hands_down The Snood (in keeping with the hair-accessories theme)?
@getmeout Oh man and I thought I was going to be too young at the Chicago meetup (well and actually I just chickened out and didn't go). I'm 23 and though I just finished my MASTER'S DEGREE, I still feel like everyone is too old and too adult to be my friend.
I turn 40 tomorrow, and this has simultaneously made me feel both horrible and awesome.
@Bretley: I turned 40 in February, had a lost weekend in NYC with my husband, then flipped the bird at numbers (and idiotic 22-year-olds) by whipping myself into the best shape I've been in since, yes, college.
as a somewhat college-aged student, I think these college-aged students are shooting themselves in the foot!
How can 35 be middle aged?! I can already tell that I won't have achieved any of what I want by that age, I couldn't bear to think of it as middle aged. Middle aged is 50 right? Half way to 100! Which is how long I'm going to live.
Then again since news papers are writing articles about how we are the lost generation that will never achieve anything and suffer from seriously dire economic conditions that our parents have inflicted upon us …. well, I guess I'm just going to keep postponing my idea of what constitutes middle aged indefinitely.
I think I aged to middle-age in the time it took me to skim that article. Scientists ….
Anyway, I have new hope that I fit into the 2nd category of geniuses that hits its stride at 35 and doesn't die at 40. No, I'm sure that's me. Watch out world!
Come on, Meattubs! Come on!
I think you are middle aged on the day you see an obituary of someone who died at 75 and say, "Oh, what a shame! So young!"
I've anxiously been awaiting such a study to prove/disprove my theory that the number considered middle-aged has been shrinking. I guess it hasn't and I'll soon have to claim my middle-aged-ness, like it or not. I was deluding myself into thinking the gateway was 45. Ugh, so when are you (i.e. women) considered old then? 41?
@goodiesfirst Wait a minute – my grandmother is 91 and still living on her own, healthy as a horse. Her mother, my great-grandma, lived to be about 100. I think 45 is right! 45 is middle aged. Which means, of course, that you aren't old until 70, right? RIGHT?!
@Bebe I don't know. To me, old is always 10 years older than my parents.
@jen325 @Bebe. I will go along with your 70, which is ten years older than my mom. Of course when I'm 70 I probably won't think that's so old.
@goodiesfirst You won't be, as long as you know people who are 90.
Pfft, I only consider 50 to be middle age. I guess 45 could count too but even that seems a bit young. Mind you, I am 26 and still have all of my grandparents who are all pushing 90. So, to me, anything under 80 seems young.
Once I witnessed a very handsome man in his mid-30s nearly bitch-slap a foolish 22-year-old boy who said to him "But you're over 30? You look so young!" The handsome man said "this is what 'over 30' looks like, you little idiot."
Young people often have NO CLUE what aging looks like, or doesn't look like, and they don't realize everyone is different. There are nearly-unlined people in their 50s who still run marathons and people the same damn age who look like they're near death.
I have a theory that works if you figure you'll live to 80 — 0-20=youth, 20-40=regular adult, 40-60=middle age, 60-80=old. I mean, right?
@Lily Rowan I still think middle-aged is 45-65 and that 65+ is a senior citizen, old, whatever. But then, this is a concept that I think about way too much http://www.projectmetoo.com/the-middle-ages/ (my own blog–sorry–but it's on topic, I swear).
@goodiesfirst I like it. I mean, obviously I don't think I'm middle-aged at 37, but who does? Think they themselves are middle-aged, I mean.
I am a college-aged student, but I'm pretty sure I've been middle-aged for years now.
@Nutmeg You sound like my boyfriend. Are you my boyfriend? Because also, he gave me a few whole nutmegs last week. Except that it was apparently because he doesn't use it very often. So.
@MissMushkila possibly! I do not use nutmegs very often, but whole nutmegs will apparently last forever, so this is a good investment! My boyfriend just gives me fruit, which I have tried to make last forever, but that always works out badly.
This is very true. The other day in class, my students and I were talking about a character who was thirty-two having sex with a guy in his early twenties from a story we read. They were just APPALLED that an old lady like that had the nerve to sex a young stud. I said, "Guys, how old do you think I AM??? YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" It was actually really funny, and then, later, in my office, I was sad.
At 40, all I can think is, I wouldn't want to be 20 again. Jesus, I was boring. I was a little better at 30, but I still spent way too much time worrying about what people thought of me.
Now? Physically, I'm in better shape than I used to be, because I'm not aiming for a specific weight or clothing size, I'm just eating better and getting outside more often. Emotionally, I'm in better shape, because I don't put up with drama and manipulation, and I'm sober (since 1996, anyway). Intellectually, I'm in better shape because I play a lot of computer games.
Okay, maybe that last one isn't quite so useful. But I'm having fun!