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Thursday, September 22, 2011

63

"You can sign up here to be notified when I go into labor and where to watch"

Pregnant mother of two Nancy Salgueiro invites you to stream her home birth on your home (or ... work?) computer. Her first two births are also online.

[Via]



63 Comments / Post A Comment

melis

Definitely read that as "you can sign up here to be horrified when I go into labor."

amusedgirl

there's got to be someone out there with a weird fetish that's all over this shiza.

likethestore

@amusedgirl I've definitely watched birth videos before - not as a weird fetish thing, I'm just really interested in birth/babies and I would study midwifery if I could. Watching someone give birth has also eased my fears about giving birth, so I understand why someone may be interested in this.

amusedgirl

@likethestore birthing videos make me even more fearful of birth! all bloody...and stretchy...and gooey...

rararuby

@amusedgirl just like the real thing...

melis

2026: "I'd like to invite you to come into my home and watch my daughter lose her virginity. This is a normal, natural process but we only get our ideas from it through TV, through sitcoms, or whatever. I believe it's important that we change our visual blueprint of my daughter getting nailed so that we can understand how a woman moves and reacts the first time she does it. I really believe that seeing these images will help you through the first time your daughter has sex with somebody. Come over here, Regina. Don't be shy. Say hello to all the nice people.

Also, this will be a natural deflowering, so it's really important to us - and I do see us as an 'us,' Trevor, even though, as I've stated before, I will not be physically participating unless Regina verbally requests my assistance - that no chemicals or hormones be used in this experience. If Regina chooses to ovulate during this miraculous sequence of events, that is the choice of her body in all of its mysterious, wondrous glory and I would like to honor that."

Bittersweet

@melis: Wish I could give this more thumbs-up...

melis

"Trevor, I want you to feel really free - once you have express and written consent from Regina that it feels like a natural and appropriate expression of sensuality to her - to use as many thumbs as you want, in any direction that feels comfortable. If you need extra thumbs, please don't hesitate to ask me and I'll act immediately to find them."

melis

@melis DAMMIT this would have been a great second installment of "So You've Decided" and now I've blown it on a comment.

Bittersweet

@melis: NOOOOOO, you must do it anyway!!!!

zidaane

@melis I hit the order button for behind the scenes xtras "Mom Fluffs Trevor" but I'm not seeing it in my queue?

melis

@zidaane You can order it from my website, deflowereddaughters.com.

@Bittersweet if you saw the pitches she had rejected, you would understand that there is literally no way I could get away with something like this. I have like, ten incredibly kind emails from her that are all variations on, 'I like this, but I think it would make moms who had lost children kind of sad? Or people whose parents had recently committed suicide feel mocked.'

rararuby

@melis So, this is probably a case of "if you don't get it, and other people do, just STFU" but I am wondering what you're referring to.
I am, uh, intrigued? And also kind of hoping that you're not comparing the broadcasting of someone losing their virginity to the broadcasting of a home birth because, to me, the comparison seems a little facile. But, I am generally a little confounded by the the distaste expressed here (I mean in the comments rather than just this thread) toward the home birth being broadcast. While I won't be signing up to watch, I do respect the principle and, well, I wonder if the distaste could be broken down a little for me?

Edited to add - the principle that i respect is the demystifying of the birth process, rather than the live broadcasting, which feels gimmicky and in poor taste.

melis

If you are having trouble with your order, please reload defloweredaughters.com and try again. We are currently experiencing a connectivity issue due to increased traffic. Thanks for visiting!

melis

@zidaane However the baby chooses to sign the consent form is zirrrrllqqie decision. If the baby chooses to express xies' consent through drooling or falling asleep, that is sye choice and sye's choice alone.

zidaane

@melis I agree! Zirrrrllqqie for the redaction.

Bittersweet

Yeah, yeah, whatever, call me when someone has her mate film a full C-section, with close-ups on the spinal, the scalpel work and the stitching up afterwards. Bonus points for catching the post-birth uterus cleaning in slo-mo instead of cutting the cord.

mollyml05

This needs to be submitted to STFUParentsblog.com

sox
sox

I went to a coed baby shower once and one of the organized group activities was, without any warning whatsoever, viewing a series of home births because they were having a home birth and wanted to share with us all that they had learned and were fascinate by.

They then taunted me because I left the room and refused to watch.

Another time I had a falling out with my stepsister because I didn't want to go with her to some pregnant friend's house to watch "Orgasmic Birth".

melis

@sox Burn them. Burn them all.

Tuna Surprise

@sox - Did you take back your gift when you left the room? I think in this case it would've been ok.

noReally

Once met a five-year-old. Nothing Disney ever crossed their threshold, perish the thought, but there was one video she watched aaaaall the time, and dragged out for dinner guests, regularly: Her own birth.

Ghastly. The child I mean. And the parents. The birth, you know, was your basic childbirth video.

Bittersweet

@noReally: You need to bring her the Beauty and the Beast DVD as a present, along with a Costco-size box of HoHos.

noReally

@melis "Here comes my head!"

City_Dater

Just one more thing I can point to, with a shaking hand, when I scream "NOOOO" at people who think it's so WONDERFUL that computers and digital cameras have put the means of "professional quality film production" in the hands of everyone with opposable thumbs.

bb
bb

man, am I an old loser and a hippie that I think this is pretty cool. I'm not sure I am going to watch this birth, but I saw graphic pictures of a friend's home birth and it was kind of refreshing to just, like, SEE what it is all about, not some TV thing of a lady cursing and screaming. It definitely made me think about what kind of birth I would want to have.

mczz

I have to admit, I think it sounds cool, also. And it vaguely reminds me of the video of the woman who was having an abortion, via pills I think. I'm not going to watch it, but I really don't think she's wrong about birth having taken on a weird, mystifying status, and needing a little normalization.

noReally

Ok, here's what it is. The contemptible gimmick is that it's live. You can watch birth videos all over the net if you want. What makes this exceptional is that you don't know in advance that she and baby will be fine. And being a home birth, if things go south you're not just going to see her wheeled next door for a C-Section, you're going to watch tense conversations about whether to give in and call the ambulance. And then, who knows? Will she or won't she? Will everyone come out alive? Birth videos aren't in bad taste unless you force them on other people. Birth spectacle is. Sport Birth.

redheadedtwit

@noReally That is my exact problem with this, she says it will be a "normal home birth" but she doesn't know it will be, yet! Other than that, I love the idea of de-mystifying the birthing process.

TheMostHumble

@noReally
I hear ya, but...Being that this is her third child, she's a doctor, trained in childbirth, most likely in good health and low-risk, and is not afraid of the process, the odds are greeeaaatly in her favor that this will be a "normal" birth.
I doubt people will be tuning in for the sport of it, in the hopes that something will go amiss and they'll get some real action. I mean....it's not like she's charging people so...i guess I'm not mad at her?

SibylDisobedience

@TheMostHumble She's a doctor of chiropractic, not a medical doctor. I don't know how much that's going to help if things go sideways.

TheMostHumble

@SibylDisobedience
She's also a childbirth educator and coach. I'd say status as a doctor is actually least relevant compared to the other things listed, especially considering the backwards view of childbirth that's so prevalent in Western modern medicine.

melis

WHEN WILL SOMEONE START POSTING VIDEOS OF THEIR EVERY BODILY FUNCTION
I DEMAND THE NORMALIZATION OF MORE THINGS THAT WE PUSH OUT OF OUR BODIES

bonnbee

@melis SO MANY PEOPLE THINK THAT GIRLS DON'T POOP! WHY WON'T SOME LADY FILM HERSELF POOPING SO WE CAN NORMALIZE LADY POOP?

likethestore

@bonnbee I thought that's what 2 Girls 1 Cup was for.

melis

Men are ALWAYS pooping and everyone thinks it's so great. But a woman poops (and films it and puts in online) and all of a sudden it's "problematic" and "illegal in certain states" and "in your face." Well if you want me to APOLOGIZE for filming myself pooping on your face, you can just keep waiting.

Bittersweet

@melis: I <3 you so much.

beatrixkiddo1

@melis Don't worry, this lady will probably poop as shes giving birth. I hear thats a thing.

Kneetoe

I would rather watch her get knocked up.

Tuna Surprise

What? No volunteering to knock her up yourself?

Kneetoe

@Tuna Surprise

Wait, where do you think I'd be watching from?

pinesy

One day I was googling some symptoms I had (idek why because any symptom=cancer) and came across a birth video on a medical site. I only watched the part when the baby slips out and it was the scariest thing ever. Thanks for that nice lady, but no thanks.

scully

Someone needs to alert the Skeptical OB.

TheMostHumble

Am I the only one somewhat frustrated by women who are "grossed out" or offended by natural childbirth? I just barely have the patience for it with teenage boys, but in the case of grown women I find it particularly disturbing. Not that it should be forced on anyone, but it seems like some women get all defensive , or worse - offensive about it.
Jokes are all good (not trying to be a downer here), but it seems like beyond that are somewhat troubling cultural implications.

JustAPaperBag

@TheMostHumble What about my discomfort with birth upsets you? I am not "offended" by birth of any sort, but I don't want to hear about anyone else's or see anyone else's, or have anything to do with it, actually. I only get defensive when people get mad at me for not wanting to hear about it. My boss's daughter who retained so much water, due to a kidney stone during hr birth, that her feet literally split apart, and then pushed so hard before her body was ready that her vagina prolapsed? Yeah, don't want to hear about it, and I think that's okay. I don't make jokes about birth, but I also just don't want to see it. Some people are just grossed out easily. I can't handle needles, blood, or anything involving eyes (can't watch anyone put in contacts), not because I'm trying to be a jerk, but just because those images make me anxious/panicked. I'm not trying to be rude, but I'm really curious how that frustrates you. It seems like you hinted at it, about troubling cultural implications, but I don't understand.

TheMostHumble

@Smartypants
I thinks its crappy that someone would get at mad at you for not wanting to hear about it. If you don't want to have anything to do with birth, thats your right, and shoving it down your throat is disrespectful. I do feel, however, feel that our society has been conditioned to view birth as something that is nasty, secretive, traumatic, dangerous, etc. I think so much of the fear surrounding birth, and the subpar way that the medical establishment handles it, is due in part to the fact that we are unexposed to it. I think girls & women should be taught that their bodies are able to handle childbirth if they so choose, that their vaginas will not be destroyed by it, that they can be empowered by the process. And I believe that that attitude shift must begin with women. The experience of your boss's daughter that you recount illustrates how its the negative, uncommon birth stories that are so often focused on and shared. I just think that sucks.
I also believe that when we lose respect for the creative power of women, and replace it with fear or disgust, then that translates into negative social & cultural implications. Fear, distrust, violence, a disconnect from nature, from our bodies...these can be results. Now again, if you're the type to get panicked at the sight of someone putting in a contact, you're totally off the hook and don't have to view or discuss birth. I was more responding to the women who are vocal in their disapproval or disdain for natural childbirth, especially among feminist circles. I think we should include motherhood in our feminism.

likethestore

@TheMostHumble I completely agree. And everything that you mentioned (fear, danger, secrecy) leads to women who are not properly educated about birth and do not make informed decisions about their care...which leads to rocketing rates of medical interventions and unnecessary c-sections. A third of babies in the US are born via c-section! And the US has dismal infant mortality rates compared to other first world countries.

This is something I'm really passionate about and the reason I wish I could study midwifery.

HipsterBarbie

@TheMostHumble Thank you SO MUCH for this. This very same thing - amongst feminists no less - is incredibly frustrating and disheartening. I'm gearing up for a homebirth with baby 3 after two hospital births and I am more than happy about it. I hate the way our society views pregnancy and childbirth. It's absolutely the most natural thing in the world - how we all arrived on the planet and yet it's such a foreign process to so many.

TheMostHumble

@likethestore Yes! Its funny because so many women feel this intuitively, and are told, "forget your intuition, stick with statistics and science!" But in this case, the statistics are on our side too! I mean, thank goodness for the advances that have made it safer for those women with high risk & complications, but those women are in the minority. And this country (world) can really use more good midwives, so if its something you're passionate about, try to go for it!

@HipsterBarbie Go mama! Best wishes to you!!

likethestore

@TheMostHumble Unfortunately Canada only has three (!) midwifery schools, they're super hard to get into and I don't have the smarts or educational background to qualify. I've thought about being a doula, maybe after I have kids of my own one day.

JustAPaperBag

@TheMostHumble Thank you for explaining. I agree 100% with everything you said. I wasn't sure how to interpret your original comment, because in the past, when I have expressed my squeamishness with hearing someone's scary/personal birth story, I have been told to "grow up" or "get over it," but I could tell there was something more to what you meant. I definitely think a lot of things about women's bodies are shamed - starting with breasts and continuing into menstruation and bleeding. My dad is someone who doesn't even want to hear the word "period." He calls it my "condition." It certainly didn't help me become more comfortable with what was happening to me. I don't think I'll ever have a kid biologically, because I can't even deal with tampons, but I would love to adopt, and whether it's a boy or girl, I'll make sure he or she learns the facts and is able to make her own decisions about whether to give birth and how to do so for the exact reasons you gave.

anotherkate

I might actually watch this, but only if there's a simultaneous chat room like they do for those chick hatchings on Ustream. OMG liek i can see teh hedd!!

Xora

In general, I hate looking at blood in any way/shape/form. But when I got pregnant the first time and was suddenly really worried about how exactly birth goes down, I remember being full-on angry that there weren't more birthing videos available.

(This was in 1992, so there was no YouTube -- only PBS, America's Funniest Home Videos and the local La Leche League's one worn-out VHS tape.)

My point is that, however gimmicky this lady's being, I'm sure there are people who are grateful for the chance to see one more birth before it's their turn.

Bittersweet

@Xora: I think since then more videos have come out. My husband and I saw one as part of our birthing class - it was standard practice to show a natural birth with no complications, to reassure women that it wouldn't necessarily be the crazy, bloody process with screaming and cursing, like you see in the movies. It certainly wasn't for me. (OK, it was crazy and bloody because it was a C-section, but I was fairly calm about being cut open while awake.)

My reaction to this video is more about my personal issues with keeping intimate activities...well, intimate. I get that she's trying to educate people, and appreciate that. Sometimes, though, I wish that people were less sharing.

JustAPaperBag

@Bittersweet Your birthing class watching a normal natural birth reminded me of 8th grade. It was the only year I went to public school, and of course included sex ed. Part of sex ed was watching a natural birth. The woman was very calm through the whole thing and it seemed like it was over fast and no big deal. When it was over, our science teacher told us that birth is never like it and he thought it was a fake video because women cuss and scream and threaten to murder their husbands. I don't know if that was supposed to scare girls out of getting pregnant, so do whatever we can to avoid it, or what, but it certainly added fuel to my "I am NEVER doing that." Yay for your birth class comforting everyone with the fact that their birthing process will probably uneventful (except for the baby at the end). Like other people have said, our society/media focus so much on the traumatic/scary/unusual that that's what everyone thinks it's like now. I watched ER during my formative years (even though I am very squeamish, I wanted to be a dr and was trying to make myself adopt a stronger stomach), and for a long time, I really believed I had a 99% chance of dying in the emergency room giving birth.

Emma K@twitter

When I read the headline I was like, 'sheesh, famewhore,' but I watched the video and listened to her rationale and I actually fully support what she's doing. If I was pregnant or more seriously thinking about getting pregnant in the near future, I might want to watch.

FoxyRoxy

I am hardly inclined to attend my own birth let alone watch someone else's. My pre-pre-pre-pre-birthplan is KNOCK MY ASS OUT. I'm so down with the miracle of life, but sometimes, there are miracles too real to be beheld. This is surely one of them. She's kind of bad ass though.

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