223
Titles of Best-Selling Books Had the Publishing Industry Decided to Do Product Placement
All the Kikkoman's Men
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Sbarro's
Running With Sizzler's
What We Talk About When We Talk About Mountain Dew: Code Red
Tender Is the Tasti D Lite
The World According to AARP
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Mayer
The Grapes of Welch
Would You Please Shop at Pathmark, Please?
A Million Little Reeses
Rabbit Runner's World
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stonewashed Levi's
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Whopper
As I Lane Bryant
The Plot Against American Apparel
The Virgin Sudafeds
The Lion, the Witch, and the Jennifer Lopez for Kohl's Activewear Collection
The Sun Also Pfizers
Everything Is Illuminated With GE
Lady Chatterly's Spanx
He’s Just Not That Into GOOP
Lauren Bans is an editor at GQ. Gabrielle Moss is a freelance writer.
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Sizzler!
Men like Mars Bars; Women like Venus Razors
@kefuoe The Call of the Wild… Can you hear me now?
@kefuoe The Lord of the Kay Jewelers' Diamond Engagement Rings
@kefuoe The Sunkist Also Rises
@kefuoe A Clockwork Orangina
@kefuoe A Farewell to Arm & Hammer
@nokittythisismypotpie A Clockwork Orangina = died
@Anna Marquardt Well I am STILL laughing at The Taco Bell Jar.
@nokittythisismypotpie The Warmth of Other Sunkists
@Anna Marquardt seconded. also @nokittythisismypotpie your name makes me giggle everytime i see it.
@nokittythisismypotpie: Still giggling at The Lion, the Witch, and the Jennifer Lopez for Kohl's Activewear Collection. 9-year-old me is not so amused.
@fareby_galore Haha thanks!
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Whopper is basically the same book as The Sorrows of Young Werther's Originals anyway.
The Taco Bell Jar
@Anna Marquardt Holy shit, this kiiiiiiiiilled me. Are you a comedy-robot sent from the future to replace me?
@Gaby@twitter I hope not! I did dream about an electric sheep the other night, though.
@Anna Marquardt Do Verizon Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
Lonesome Dove Body Wash
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Sbarro's just killed me dead.
On the Safran Foer-Krauss family kick, how about A History of Lowe's?
@simone eastbro HISTORY OF LOWE'S !!!!!!!!!!!! Genius.
@Lauren Bans i just "liked" that because you called it genius. in the interest of full disclosure, everyone.
I just started a list of foods to serve at a literary Halloween party (so far Tart of Darkness and a Pitcher of Doran Grey Goose are definitely on the menu), so I am in full-on Book Pun Mode.
Ore-Ida Crinkle Cut Fries and Prejudice.
@Clare: Scentsy and Sensibility.
The Sound and the Furby
Go Tell It On The Mountain Dew
Naked Lunchables
@parallel-lines
Play It As It Lays Brand Snacks
The Da Vinci Mountain Dew Code Red
Just McDonald Kids Meals
@parallel-lines NAKED LUNCHABLES ohmygod.
The Hitchhiker's ZAGAT Guide to the Galaxy
The Catcher in the Old Overholt Rye Whisky
James and the Giant Peach Schnapps
War and Reese's Pieces
@crango Warheads and Peace?
On the Origin of Reese's Pieces
Watership Downy
Infinite Zest.
It's not really clean until it's Infinitely Zestfully clean.
@melis On the Origin of Species By Means of Natural Selection, or, the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Snuggle for Life
@zidaane Marry me.
(You know that photo is already an ad though, right? Bathing Suits by Izod by Horst)
The UPS Driver Always Rings Twice
You're telling me Pernod-Rickard didn't sponsor The Sun Also Rises?
A Tale of Two Citibank Branches
@Tuna Surprise: Oliver Twizzlers
@Tuna Surprise: Little Dorito
@Tuna Surprise: Bleak Random House
We Need to Talk About 7-Up
@Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook HAHAHA
@Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook: The Post Cereal Birthday World?
Gone with the Dyson Airblade
Lemon Pine-Sol's A Series of Unfortunate Events
@kefuoe The WasteLand O'Lakes
Where the Red Fern Miracle-Gros
@nokittythisismypotpie Where the Red Lobster Fern Grows
For Whom the Bell Tollhouse
The Adventures of Tums Sawyer
Huckleberry Ramada Inn
Gulliver's Travels with Fodors
The SECRET Deodorant Garden
The Secret Garden, brought to you by Oprah's Book Club
@melis Victoria's Secret Garden
Finnegan's Shake and Bake
The MasterCard and Margarita
Infinite Gilletes
No Countrytime Lemonade for Old Men
@MollyculeTheory: Dr. Pepper Zhivago
The Gordon Fisherman's Catch-22 of the Day
At Swim Two Birds Eye Lima Beans
The Little Xerox Prints
Fahrenheit 151
@jen325 AH you are killing me with all of these.
The Decline and Fall of Ramen Noodles.
Wheaties Of Nations.
Things Fall A-SweeTart
Nicholas Nick-At-Nite
@nokittythisismypotpie Thank you! I think this one is my favorite so far.
The Wyndham Bird Chronicle
The Clan of the Cave Bayer
Rebecca of Pepperidge Farm
Anne of Green Giant
I Know Why the Caged Birdseye Sings
The Man with the Gulden's Gun
@jen325 Casino Royale with Cheese
@nokittythisismypotpie Rold Goldfinger
@nokittythisismypotpie: Ooo, that has levels.
Oh, right: Mars, Inc. presents Les Trois Mousquetaires
He Knew He Was Rite-Aid
Me Talk Perdue One Day
@jen325 Holiday Inn on Ice
Portrait of a LadyFinger
Flowers for Allergan
the importance of being Ernest Goes to Jail
The Name of the Waitrose
If on a winter's night a Travelodge
The Cadbury Tales
Carnation Instant Breakfast of Champions
@figwiggin: Slaughterhouse Five-Alive
@Bittersweet Sirens of Tareyton
Of Mice and Mentos
Gone With The Windex.
the bluest I-Pad
@BoozinSusan The Bluest I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
Lord of the Pringles
Jonathan Livingston Spiegel's
A Moveable Fancy Feast
Uncle Ben's Cabin
Ruby Tuesdays with Morrie
@jen325 The Five People you Meet in Heavenly Ham
Crest Whitestrips Noise
The Pale Burger King
Mobil Dick
@MollyculeTheory
Mobil Dick!
Clarissa (Explains It All), or, the History of a Young Lady
A Brief History of Timex
@jen325 A Wrinkle in Timex
@nokittythisismypotpie Wait, wait…you can do better than that. I already used Timex!
How about A Pringle in Time?
@jen325 Yes! Much better…
Against the Days Inn
Totino's Party Pizza of the d'Ubervilles
When You Are Engulfed in Flaming Hot Cheetos
Are You There God? It's Me, Jose Cuervo's Margarita Mix
Naked Lunchables Ham and Swiss
Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing of the Dolls
Is Campbell's Chicken Soup for the Soul too obvious?
Maxwell House on the Prairie
The Hardee's Boys
One Tylenol Cold & Flu Over the Cuckoo's Nest
(Steven King's) The Dead Zune
@iceberg Great!
The Fortress of Sabor de Soledad
The Lion, the Witch, and the Jennifer Lopez for Kohl's Activewear Collection SNORT. Dying!
Tarzanax
Never Let Me Go Girl Energy Drink
The Hungry Man Games
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genie Bra™
@melmuu A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Diaper Genies?
The Count of Monte Crisco
@Hella Catessen I'm amazed that it took so long for someone to come up with this one as we've probably all thought it at one time or another.
@jen325 The only things stopping me from thinking it was "Crisco" all along were a)I liked the Wishbone episode about that book and b)I like his sandwiches.
I Sing the Body Norelco 1250X SensoTouch 3d Electric Razor
Grouponishads
@jen325 This is my favorite.
@Vera Knoop Thank you! When read the email notification of your comment I thought, I hope she's talking about Grouponishads because I'm so proud of that one.
Dawn Quixote
Nineteen Eighty-Ford
Their Eyes Were Watching Gobstoppers
Peter Pam
Charmin's Web
The Turn of the Black & Decker 9072CTNATV 2 4V Rechargeable Screwdriver
The Qream-ran
@nokittythisismypotpie (I'm going to hell.)
@nokittythisismypotpie Anne of Qream Gables?
@nokittythisismypotpie Requiem for a Qream?
An Apple Tree Grows in Brooklyn
The Rand McNally Cloud Atlas
Patrón Reposado Tequila Mockingbird
(done?)
When just saying "dactylic hexameter" is too much for you, reach for Homer's The Adviliad.
@Hella Catessen Good idea, then lie down and rest on The Odyssealy.
Me Talk Kotex Pantyliners One Day
Alice's Adventures in Wonderbra
Jane Airwick
@Bittersweet Love it!
Brave Nair World
The Old Man and the Sea-bond
iRobot.
haaaaaaaaaaaa
Dante's Infiniti
American Seiko
20,000 Major League Baseball's Under the Sea
Garanimal Farm
@jen325 yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
The Velveteen Rabbit Vibrator
Twilights for Children
(no?)
@figwiggin New Mooncup
@figwiggin Eclipsmackers
@figwiggin Breaking Daim
Black & Decker Beauty
The DaScünci Code
You forgot the best (real!) movie: Life According to Agfa!
Precious Moments, Based on the Novel Push by Sephora
Captain Corelli's Fender Electric Mandolin
I think I will need to be physically restrained before I can stop.
Gilead Lip Balm
Wild Turkey Seed
Pledge® and Prejudice.
Beyond the Valley of the American Girl Dolls
Murder on the Holiday Inn Express
The Diary of Ball Park Franks
Sierra Misty of Chincoteague
A Visit from the Geek Squad
FrankenSteinway
Jurassic Parkay
The Krackel Wakes
Swatchmen
LOVE
@jen325: Who Watches the Swatchmen? (Swatch does)
Maxwellhouse-Five
Huckleberry Schwinn
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance for Harley-Davidson Panhead Engines 1948 to 1969
@Too Much Internet I love how specific this is.
@jen325: I almost prefaced it with 'Chilton's Presents' but didn't want to gild the lily.
@Too Much Internet It's pretty golden without it.
(in a good way)
Who Moved My Philly Qream Cheese
@nokittythisismypotpie Nice…I was going to post Who Moved My Cheez-Its, but you've got DOUBLE product placement going on!
@jen325 Yeah, I have obviously gone Down the Rabbit Corkscrew Hole on this thread. Glad I'm not the only one though!
@nokittythisismypotpie Not only that, but you have me an idea for another one: Alice's Adventures in Underoos.
This post has had a profound effect on my attention span at work today.
Trout Fishing in American Eagle
This is my favourite.
@Nicole Cliffe A Confederate General on a Big Sur Waterbed?
@Nicole Cliffe The Abortion: An Historical Romance Saved by Plan-B?
Strangers On An Amtrak Train
The Price of Morton's Salt
The Talented Mr. Ripley's Believe It Or Not
all the president's men's warehouse
invisible monsters, inc.
waldenbooks two
slaughterhouse 5-below
nickelback and dimed: on (not) rocking in america
ok, i'm done.
The Kotexions
The Ed Hardy Boys
A Good Man is Ed Hardy to Find
The Violent Bayer it Away
Aldo Pretty Horses
The Charmin Bums
The Aspinal Papers
The Golden Bowl of Cheerios
The Remains of the Day in your Hefty Bag
Ricola Nickleby
Miller Lite in August
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close-Up
A Wrinkle in Timex
The Audacity of Scope
Oliver Triscuit
Taco Bel Canto
@bananalise
He wrote The Audacity of Scope after Qream From My Father, right?
@anonymass Thematically, I was hung up on Listerine From My Father, but Qream easily trumps anything.
The AskJeeves
-The Winterfresh of Our Discontent
-A Confederacy of Duncan Hines
This > studying
@Blabbetyblab A Çonfederacy of Dunkin Donuts?
Burger King Lear
A Midsummer Night's Qream
O'Henry V
Lysol's Well That Ends Well
Honeybaked Hamlet
The Two Gentlemen of Verizon
@bananalise: The Accountempest?
Sense and Sensodyne
Now I'm not sure if I read that one here already!
the party's over, but: The Sound of MTV!
Jason and the Argosnauts
(late to the party, I know, but still…)
We Tell Ourselves Arby's in Order to Live
@anonymass
Is that Chick-fil-A lit?
@atipofthehat
Well, I'd certainly say it's got more meat to it than, say, Confessions of a Shopaholic. Also better sauces.
@anonymass
Sorry, that should read "Confessions of a Slap Chop-aholic."
Aquafina for Elephants
A Fire Upon the Depends
A Deepness in the Skyline (Now on DVD!)