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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

223

Titles of Best-Selling Books Had the Publishing Industry Decided to Do Product Placement

All the Kikkoman's Men

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Sbarro's

Running With Sizzler's

What We Talk About When We Talk About Mountain Dew: Code Red

Tender Is the Tasti D Lite

The World According to AARP

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Mayer

The Grapes of Welch

Would You Please Shop at Pathmark, Please?

A Million Little Reeses

Rabbit Runner's World

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stonewashed Levi's

Portrait of the Artist as a Young Whopper

As I Lane Bryant

The Plot Against American Apparel

The Virgin Sudafeds

The Lion, the Witch, and the Jennifer Lopez for Kohl's Activewear Collection

The Sun Also Pfizers

Everything Is Illuminated With GE

Lady Chatterly's Spanx

He’s Just Not That Into GOOP

Lauren Bans is an editor at GQ. Gabrielle Moss is a freelance writer.



223 Comments / Post A Comment

kefuoe

Men like Mars Bars; Women like Venus Razors

nokittythisismypotpie

@kefuoe The Call of the Wild... Can you hear me now?

nokittythisismypotpie

@kefuoe The Lord of the Kay Jewelers' Diamond Engagement Rings

nokittythisismypotpie

@kefuoe The Sunkist Also Rises

nokittythisismypotpie

@kefuoe A Clockwork Orangina

nokittythisismypotpie

@kefuoe A Farewell to Arm & Hammer

Anna Marquardt

@nokittythisismypotpie A Clockwork Orangina = died

nokittythisismypotpie

@Anna Marquardt Well I am STILL laughing at The Taco Bell Jar.

parallel-lines

@nokittythisismypotpie The Warmth of Other Sunkists

fareby_galore

@Anna Marquardt seconded. also @nokittythisismypotpie your name makes me giggle everytime i see it.

Bittersweet

@nokittythisismypotpie: Still giggling at The Lion, the Witch, and the Jennifer Lopez for Kohl's Activewear Collection. 9-year-old me is not so amused.

nokittythisismypotpie

@fareby_galore Haha thanks!

wallsdonotfall

Portrait of the Artist as a Young Whopper is basically the same book as The Sorrows of Young Werther's Originals anyway.

Anna Marquardt

The Taco Bell Jar

Gaby@twitter

@Anna Marquardt Holy shit, this kiiiiiiiiilled me. Are you a comedy-robot sent from the future to replace me?

Anna Marquardt

@Gaby@twitter I hope not! I did dream about an electric sheep the other night, though.

Anna Marquardt

@Anna Marquardt Do Verizon Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

Anna Marquardt

Lonesome Dove Body Wash

simone eastbro

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Sbarro's just killed me dead.

On the Safran Foer-Krauss family kick, how about A History of Lowe's?

Lauren Bans

@simone eastbro HISTORY OF LOWE'S !!!!!!!!!!!! Genius.

simone eastbro

@Lauren Bans i just "liked" that because you called it genius. in the interest of full disclosure, everyone.

Anna Marquardt

I just started a list of foods to serve at a literary Halloween party (so far Tart of Darkness and a Pitcher of Doran Grey Goose are definitely on the menu), so I am in full-on Book Pun Mode.

Clare

Ore-Ida Crinkle Cut Fries and Prejudice.

Bittersweet

@Clare: Scentsy and Sensibility.

nokittythisismypotpie

The Sound and the Furby

parallel-lines

Go Tell It On The Mountain Dew
Naked Lunchables

parallel-lines

@parallel-lines
Play It As It Lays Brand Snacks
The Da Vinci Mountain Dew Code Red
Just McDonald Kids Meals

Hambulance

@parallel-lines NAKED LUNCHABLES ohmygod.

nokittythisismypotpie

The Hitchhiker's ZAGAT Guide to the Galaxy

Porporina

The Catcher in the Old Overholt Rye Whisky

nokittythisismypotpie

James and the Giant Peach Schnapps

crango

War and Reese's Pieces

angelinha

@crango Warheads and Peace?

laurel

On the Origin of Reese's Pieces

fondue with cheddar

Watership Downy

melis

It's not really clean until it's Infinitely Zestfully clean.

zidaane

@melis On the Origin of Species By Means of Natural Selection, or, the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Snuggle for Life

Mary Mouse

(You know that photo is already an ad though, right? Bathing Suits by Izod by Horst)

nokittythisismypotpie

The UPS Driver Always Rings Twice

melis

You're telling me Pernod-Rickard didn't sponsor The Sun Also Rises?

Tuna Surprise

A Tale of Two Citibank Branches

notandersoncooper

@Tuna Surprise: Oliver Twizzlers

cado

@Tuna Surprise: Little Dorito

cado

@Tuna Surprise: Bleak Random House

Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook

We Need to Talk About 7-Up

Anna Marquardt

@Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook HAHAHA

Bittersweet

@Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook: The Post Cereal Birthday World?

Valley Girl

Gone with the Dyson Airblade

nokittythisismypotpie

Lemon Pine-Sol's A Series of Unfortunate Events

BoozinSusan

@kefuoe The WasteLand O'Lakes

nokittythisismypotpie

Where the Red Fern Miracle-Gros

nokittythisismypotpie

@nokittythisismypotpie Where the Red Lobster Fern Grows

BoozinSusan

For Whom the Bell Tollhouse

fondue with cheddar

The Adventures of Tums Sawyer

melis

Huckleberry Ramada Inn

Tuna Surprise

Gulliver's Travels with Fodors

nokittythisismypotpie

The SECRET Deodorant Garden

melis

The Secret Garden, brought to you by Oprah's Book Club

nokittythisismypotpie

@melis Victoria's Secret Garden

MollyculeTheory

Finnegan's Shake and Bake
The MasterCard and Margarita
Infinite Gilletes
No Countrytime Lemonade for Old Men

Bittersweet

@MollyculeTheory: Dr. Pepper Zhivago

parallel-lines

The Gordon Fisherman's Catch-22 of the Day
At Swim Two Birds Eye Lima Beans

nokittythisismypotpie

The Little Xerox Prints

fondue with cheddar

Fahrenheit 151

nokittythisismypotpie

@jen325 AH you are killing me with all of these.

notandersoncooper

The Decline and Fall of Ramen Noodles.

Wheaties Of Nations.

melis

Things Fall A-SweeTart

nokittythisismypotpie

Nicholas Nick-At-Nite

fondue with cheddar

@nokittythisismypotpie Thank you! I think this one is my favorite so far. :)

BoozinSusan

The Wyndham Bird Chronicle

fondue with cheddar

The Clan of the Cave Bayer

notandersoncooper

Rebecca of Pepperidge Farm

nokittythisismypotpie

Anne of Green Giant

melis

I Know Why the Caged Birdseye Sings

fondue with cheddar

The Man with the Gulden's Gun

nokittythisismypotpie

@jen325 Casino Royale with Cheese

fondue with cheddar

@nokittythisismypotpie Rold Goldfinger

laurel

@nokittythisismypotpie: Ooo, that has levels.

Oh, right: Mars, Inc. presents Les Trois Mousquetaires

melis

He Knew He Was Rite-Aid

fondue with cheddar

Me Talk Perdue One Day

nokittythisismypotpie

@jen325 Holiday Inn on Ice

BoozinSusan

Portrait of a LadyFinger

BoozinSusan

the importance of being Ernest Goes to Jail

MollyculeTheory

The Name of the Waitrose
If on a winter's night a Travelodge

melis

The Cadbury Tales

frigwiggin

Carnation Instant Breakfast of Champions

Bittersweet

@figwiggin: Slaughterhouse Five-Alive

frigwiggin

@Bittersweet Sirens of Tareyton

angelinha

Of Mice and Mentos

notandersoncooper

Gone With The Windex.

BoozinSusan

the bluest I-Pad

nokittythisismypotpie

@BoozinSusan The Bluest I Can't Believe It's Not Butter

frigwiggin

Lord of the Pringles

fondue with cheddar

Jonathan Livingston Spiegel's

MollyculeTheory

A Moveable Fancy Feast

frigwiggin

Uncle Ben's Cabin

fondue with cheddar

Ruby Tuesdays with Morrie

nokittythisismypotpie

@jen325 The Five People you Meet in Heavenly Ham

MollyculeTheory

Crest Whitestrips Noise
The Pale Burger King
Mobil Dick

anonymass

@MollyculeTheory
Mobil Dick!

melis

Clarissa (Explains It All), or, the History of a Young Lady

fondue with cheddar

A Brief History of Timex

nokittythisismypotpie

@jen325 A Wrinkle in Timex

fondue with cheddar

@nokittythisismypotpie Wait, wait...you can do better than that. I already used Timex! ;) How about A Pringle in Time?

nokittythisismypotpie

@jen325 Yes! Much better...

MollyculeTheory

Against the Days Inn

Katie Scarlett

Totino's Party Pizza of the d'Ubervilles
When You Are Engulfed in Flaming Hot Cheetos
Are You There God? It's Me, Jose Cuervo's Margarita Mix

Katie Scarlett

Naked Lunchables Ham and Swiss

Katie Scarlett

Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing of the Dolls

fondue with cheddar

Is Campbell's Chicken Soup for the Soul too obvious?

fondue with cheddar

Maxwell House on the Prairie

nokittythisismypotpie

One Tylenol Cold & Flu Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Lemonnier

The Fortress of Sabor de Soledad

CrescentMelissa

The Lion, the Witch, and the Jennifer Lopez for Kohl's Activewear Collection SNORT. Dying!

frigwiggin

Never Let Me Go Girl Energy Drink

frigwiggin

The Hungry Man Games

melmuu

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genie Bra™

Hambulance

@melmuu A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Diaper Genies?

Hella Catessen

The Count of Monte Crisco

fondue with cheddar

@Hella Catessen I'm amazed that it took so long for someone to come up with this one as we've probably all thought it at one time or another. ;)

Hella Catessen

@jen325 The only things stopping me from thinking it was "Crisco" all along were a)I liked the Wishbone episode about that book and b)I like his sandwiches.

frigwiggin

I Sing the Body Norelco 1250X SensoTouch 3d Electric Razor

fondue with cheddar

Grouponishads

Vera Knoop

@jen325 This is my favorite.

fondue with cheddar

@Vera Knoop Thank you! When read the email notification of your comment I thought, I hope she's talking about Grouponishads because I'm so proud of that one. :)

DickensianCat

Their Eyes Were Watching Gobstoppers

DickensianCat

The Turn of the Black & Decker 9072CTNATV 2 4V Rechargeable Screwdriver

nokittythisismypotpie

The Qream-ran

nokittythisismypotpie

@nokittythisismypotpie (I'm going to hell.)

iceberg

@nokittythisismypotpie Anne of Qream Gables?

Ms. Information

@nokittythisismypotpie Requiem for a Qream?

Ms. Information

An Apple Tree Grows in Brooklyn

laurel

The Rand McNally Cloud Atlas

iceberg

Patrón Reposado Tequila Mockingbird

(done?)

Hella Catessen

When just saying "dactylic hexameter" is too much for you, reach for Homer's The Adviliad.

fondue with cheddar

@Hella Catessen Good idea, then lie down and rest on The Odyssealy.

DickensianCat

Me Talk Kotex Pantyliners One Day

Ms. Information

Alice's Adventures in Wonderbra

frigwiggin

Brave Nair World

Mandykins

The Old Man and the Sea-bond

jstar

iRobot.

haaaaaaaaaaaa

nokittythisismypotpie

20,000 Major League Baseball's Under the Sea

fondue with cheddar

Garanimal Farm

Gaby@twitter

@jen325 yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

nokittythisismypotpie

The Velveteen Rabbit Vibrator

frigwiggin

Twilights for Children

(no?)

frigwiggin

@figwiggin New Mooncup

frigwiggin

@figwiggin Eclipsmackers

frigwiggin

@figwiggin Breaking Daim

TheBabyHereComes

You forgot the best (real!) movie: Life According to Agfa!

nokittythisismypotpie

Precious Moments, Based on the Novel Push by Sephora

frigwiggin

Captain Corelli's Fender Electric Mandolin

I think I will need to be physically restrained before I can stop.

frigwiggin

Wild Turkey Seed

notandersoncooper

Pledge® and Prejudice.

Valley Girl

Beyond the Valley of the American Girl Dolls

Inconceivable!

Murder on the Holiday Inn Express

fondue with cheddar

The Diary of Ball Park Franks

Inconceivable!

Sierra Misty of Chincoteague

Inconceivable!

A Visit from the Geek Squad

fondue with cheddar

Swatchmen

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@jen325: Who Watches the Swatchmen? (Swatch does)

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance for Harley-Davidson Panhead Engines 1948 to 1969

fondue with cheddar

@Too Much Internet I love how specific this is. :)

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@jen325: I almost prefaced it with 'Chilton's Presents' but didn't want to gild the lily.

fondue with cheddar

@Too Much Internet It's pretty golden without it. :)

(in a good way)

nokittythisismypotpie

Who Moved My Philly Qream Cheese

fondue with cheddar

@nokittythisismypotpie Nice...I was going to post Who Moved My Cheez-Its, but you've got DOUBLE product placement going on!

nokittythisismypotpie

@jen325 Yeah, I have obviously gone Down the Rabbit Corkscrew Hole on this thread. Glad I'm not the only one though!

fondue with cheddar

@nokittythisismypotpie Not only that, but you have me an idea for another one: Alice's Adventures in Underoos.

This post has had a profound effect on my attention span at work today. :P

Hambulance

Trout Fishing in American Eagle

Nicole Cliffe

This is my favourite.

Hambulance

@Nicole Cliffe A Confederate General on a Big Sur Waterbed?

Hambulance

@Nicole Cliffe The Abortion: An Historical Romance Saved by Plan-B?

Munich Pixie Dream Girl

Strangers On An Amtrak Train
The Price of Morton's Salt
The Talented Mr. Ripley's Believe It Or Not

nothingtoseehere

all the president's men's warehouse
invisible monsters, inc.
waldenbooks two
slaughterhouse 5-below
nickelback and dimed: on (not) rocking in america

ok, i'm done.

anonymass

The Ed Hardy Boys

anonymass

A Good Man is Ed Hardy to Find
The Violent Bayer it Away

Aldo Pretty Horses

martinipie

The Charmin Bums
The Aspinal Papers
The Golden Bowl of Cheerios
The Remains of the Day in your Hefty Bag
Ricola Nickleby

bananalise

Miller Lite in August
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close-Up
A Wrinkle in Timex
The Audacity of Scope
Oliver Triscuit
Taco Bel Canto

anonymass

@bananalise

He wrote The Audacity of Scope after Qream From My Father, right?

bananalise

@anonymass Thematically, I was hung up on Listerine From My Father, but Qream easily trumps anything.

Blabbetyblab

-The Winterfresh of Our Discontent
-A Confederacy of Duncan Hines

This > studying

Creature Cheeseman

@Blabbetyblab A Çonfederacy of Dunkin Donuts?

bananalise

Burger King Lear
A Midsummer Night's Qream
O'Henry V
Lysol's Well That Ends Well
Honeybaked Hamlet
The Two Gentlemen of Verizon

Bittersweet

@bananalise: The Accountempest?

Blabbetyblab

Sense and Sensodyne

Now I'm not sure if I read that one here already!

arabesque

the party's over, but: The Sound of MTV!

PistolPackinMama

Jason and the Argosnauts

(late to the party, I know, but still...)

anonymass

We Tell Ourselves Arby's in Order to Live

atipofthehat

@anonymass

Is that Chick-fil-A lit?

anonymass

@atipofthehat
Well, I'd certainly say it's got more meat to it than, say, Confessions of a Shopaholic. Also better sauces.

anonymass

@anonymass

Sorry, that should read "Confessions of a Slap Chop-aholic."

Abraxas

Aquafina for Elephants
A Fire Upon the Depends
A Deepness in the Skyline (Now on DVD!)

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