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Friday, September 2, 2011

70

The Girl Beer, Part Three: Chick Beer

At first Chick Beer seems a little hokey — it's a burpless light beer, for ladies — but then you realize it comes in a cardboard carrier that's indistinguishable from a purse, and that the bottles are wearing dresses, so if you glued googly eyes on them you'd have drinkable dolls on the go. The Village Voice interviews the dolls' inventor.

See also: Carlsberg's ladybeer and Molson Coors's ladybeer.



70 Comments / Post A Comment

Christina McMc

Oh Christ, not another one. URGE TO GET SHOUTY RISING.

redheaded&crazy

I really miss the cardboard cases the LCBO used to have for tall cans. I think there were eight slots.. perfect to carry 6 beers, a clutch, and sunglasses/cell phone :)

This on the other hand, pretty sure I could do without.

ReginaSavage

@redheadedandcrazy YES! I MISS THOSE TOO!!! 4 Guinness, 4 Strongbow. Fuck that chick beer shit...

rootmarm

Edith, the fact that you look at terrible girl beer and just see 6 drinkable dolls is why I keep coming back here. <3

parallel-lines

No need for the doll's head wine glass when you can drink STRAIGHT FROM THE DOLL!

boysplz

@parallel-lines It's just crying out for some sort of doll head coozie though. Someone craftier than I may have to figure it out though.

shannonmkennedy@twitter

@boysplz Yeah, time to find an amigurumi solution to this doll bottle head problem!

ormaisonogrande

I love how they're like, "our beer is basically already flat when you open up the bottle!" It's not a bug, it's a feature!

Ophelia

@ormaisonogrande Seriously. If you wanted something that isn't fizzy...why not just have wine?

Wondajules

@ormaisonogrande yes! And the last line of having a goal of making a "damn good beer"...well, it's flat but, swearsies, it's supposed to be that way so it's still good, ladies. Ladies? Chicks??

parallel-lines

@Wondajules So basically if I took a Miller light and left it out overnight, then added a drop of red food coloring it'll make me instantly sassier and sexier?

Ophelia

@parallel-lines You should probably also wear a really short skirt while you drink it.

becky@twitter

@Ophelia or qream?

Wondajules

@parallel-lines Obvs. But make sure that you talk really loudly about how you also really like to drink bourbon while smoking cigars.

parallel-lines

The "Liberated Woman"

2 parts Qream (flavor of your choice)
1 part Chick
5 parts salad
1000 parts water
Serve in sippy cup so it won't spill while you're spinning on the pole.

Edith Zimmerman

@parallel-lines <3 foreverrr

annepersand

@parallel-lines "I've gone on record that if I had to have a stripper name, it would be Equality."

shannonmkennedy@twitter

@parallel-lines Don't forget to laugh like a maniac while drinking it because if you're not laughing while you're eating (drinking?) it, it's not a real salad.

liznieve

@annepersand the best.

becky@twitter

@annepersand mine would be prudence.

Layla

@parallel-lines Where's the yogurt?

leonstj

I can't even tell anymore if these products are real, or if people are just making obviously horrible things they know will get purchased ironically.

leonstj

@leon.saintjean Also: "There's no bitterness, and I think that was the big appeal for women."

I mean, sure, bitter is one of the five basic flavors for men. But true fact: Women have different taste buds than men. Their five?

Chocolate, Lettuce, Sparkly, Awwwwww, and princess.

Ophelia

@leon.saintjean My favorite flavor is princess. Mmmmm...princess...

MoonBat

@Ophelia : OMG, you, too?!?! I totes just had a big bowl of water for breakfast, and it tasted like sooooooo princess!

photoalice

@leon.saintjean Oddly, I thrrrrive on bitterness.

melis

@MoonBat Anna Wintour is still in the burn unit and you're drinking MORE WATER? Selfish.

laurel

@photoalice: I don't need beer for bitterness, I produce mine internally.

MomBot3100

Is it just me or does this look like something you'd find on the Barbie Isle at a toy store, you know an accessory for Sloshed Barbie. It looks less marketed towards women, and more towards tweens.

Whitmans Sampler

That font makes my eyes hurt.

Clare

@Whitmans Sampler Seriously. Fuck your Curlz MT!

fondue with cheddar

@Whitmans Sampler This week, a client insisted I set their invitation entirely in Curlz MT. It was so painful.

cosmia

I WROTE AN ANGRY TUMBLR POST ABOUT THIS LAST MONTH!

annepersand

@cosmia Ah, the battle cry of our modern internet age.

wee_ramekin

@annepersand Avatar / comment synergy FTW.

madamvonsassypants

@cosmia I wrote a few angry things about this last month too! As a lady who works in the craft beer industry, this level of pandering (the use of the word BLOATY, for fuck's sake), the passe hot pink and black color scheme, the 6-pack carrier that looks like a 6 year old's purse pitch and the FUCKING CURLZ FONT are the most egregious wrongs.

Fuck this beer. And the bitches that drink it. I'll be over here, chasing my craft beer with Qream.

Yankee Peach

The "inventor" of this stuff fascinates me. Because it has never bothered me that beer bottles don't look like little dolls screaming "female" at me.

I would only buy this stuff if I was having a theme party and inviting some girlfriends over to mock Sex and the City 2 on Netflix.

OhMyGoshYouGuys

I have an overwhelming urge to ice a bro/weiss a ho with this. Also, is that picture to scale?

Edith Zimmerman

@Mere No, I smooshed it to fit our thing, sorry!

OhMyGoshYouGuys

@Edith Zimmerman Well, if they aren't actually that tiny I won't be buying them. Doll beer should be doll size.

Dancercise

@Mere
"The marriage was built to last, but the beer was built too small."

sarah girl

@Mere Okay, now I'm curious: What is "weiss a ho"? Google brings up nothing!

OhMyGoshYouGuys

@Sarah H. It's the girl version of icing a bro. If a girl hands another girl a crappy beer, she has to get down on one knee and drink it.

sarah girl

@Mere Ahh, okay. That's what I figured, but I didn't know if there were extra strange stipulations or anything :)

sarah girl

I'm pretty sure burping from drinking beer is a feature, not a bug. Does that make me less of a lady...?

parallel-lines

@Sarah H. It hasn't stopped Barney Gumble http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/content/pictures/regulars/BarneyBikini.gif

MoonBat

@Sarah H. : the ability to blow beer burps in someone's face is definitely a feature.

rootmarm

@Sarah H. I took burpless to be some kind of challenge.

angelinha

"And American light lagers. One favorite of mine is Guinness."

Dani

"I knew I needed it not to be a gimmick."
"I knew I needed it not to be a gimmick."
"I knew I needed it not to be a gimmick."

LornaLoo

per their Facebook page...

"We want photos!!! Show us where you like to drink Chick Beer!!! Do you like to drink it at the beach, at lake, backyard BBQ, in a bath tub, in a bar, in your closet, on a horse, on your couch, in your sweat pants, in a LBD, in your bikini, on your front porch, with your grandma, with your girlfriends, on a boat, during a hurricane, how bout an earthquake. Show us how you drink your Chick!"

I prefer mine pantsless on the couch on a saturday evening drinking Chick instead of eating dinner while suffering crippling depression.

Ladies, how about you? How do you drink your chick?

wee_ramekin

@LornaLoo I also prefer my Chicks pantsless on the couch on a Saturday evening, but there's nothing depressing about it (*wiggles eyebrows*).

"How do you drink your Chick?" just brings to mind all SORTS of NSFW scenarios...

LornaLoo

@wee_ramekin or a very ominous connotation...

I drink my chick through a straw in the hole I chiseled into her skull..."

teaandcakeordeath

Im too pretty for beer, so I let my brother drink it for me.

OhMyGoshYouGuys

@teaandcakeordeath Coming to a JC Penney near you.

marigny

As a hardcore Guinness drinker, this offends me deeply. BUT, it's not as offensive as when I go out to a bar with the boyshape and when we order our drinks, the bartender assumes the Guinness should go in front of the guy and I'M the one ordering the Woodchuck Apple Cider. No buddy, it's so the other way around.

ormaisonogrande

@marigny I almost always get a beer and my boyfriend almost always gets a Coke. And then the waitress, who took our order, almost always gives the Coke to me and the beer to my boyfriend.

bitterwhisper

@ormaisonogrande Silly waitress. If the Coke was going to be for a lady it would be a DIET Coke, obvs. Because calories = ew. Everyone knows that!

Eden

Maybe it's just the company I keep (you know, lushes) but I know about the same number of women who are really into beer as I do men who are.

When I first read about this, I actually thought "I feel like I should be angry." So I spent about 5 minutes trying to be angry. And then I thought it was so dumb that I really didn't want to waste time on it. And then I probably had a (non-Chick) beer.

AceofSix@twitter

It's my FAVORITE when anyone qualifies the worth of their position/ product with biological evidence: "As a woman and mother..." OH I SEE. You ARE a woman. You GET us.

photoalice

Well, I'm glad we finally have a ladies' beer. I've been stealing those half-sized children's beers from the kids' table.

Allison@twitter

worst part: CURLZ MT

Nutmeg

Look, Lady Beer Developers, we have already discussed this! My favorite beer is called Pretty Things and comes in one liter bottles, and is almost all 6%-9% ABV! If real beer already appeals to my lady sensibilities like this, you have no chance in my belly/liver

Polina

I thought chick beers were anything ______ Lite.

fondue with cheddar

I want to drink a whole case of this and get totally CHICK LIT.

@serenityfound

@jen325 It's a truth universally acknowledged that the only way for respectable women to get pissed is by drinking from vessels as fashionably dressed as themselves.

IceHole Products

Pretty cool idea...

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