Friday, September 9, 2011


The Ancient Butter Face

Something fun/ridiculous for a Friday: Are you an Earth Face, a Wood Face, or a Water Face?

60 Comments / Post A Comment

Miss Zarves

According to my co-workers, I just have chronic Bitchface.


@Miss Zarves Basically this, yeah.

a horde of great crab things

So apparently I have a mudface?

Tragically Ludicrous

But I'm none of those things! How will I know what traits I have?


@Tragically Ludicrous Neither am I - what are we???? How will we ever know? Help us, Daily Mail!


@Bebe I can't tell if I'm wood or water? Apparently I'm a piece of wood floating in a pond?


@Tragically Ludicrous

I'm more concerned about people in high places using us to play face games. "Earth covers Wood!" "Water washes Earth!"


@atipofthehat I bet John Finkel could help us with this.

fondue with cheddar

@Ophelia Maybe you're a boat!


Olaf, Metal.



I think I'm a fire face? Which just means I'm an asshole?


At least one of those celebrity examples is actually a Silicone Face.

@Saaoirse Botox Face: Lineless, expressionless, barbi-like. Means that you have a gigantic stick up your bum.


Adventurous, daring, creative, and somewhat lactose intolerant, this personality likes to mix it up with those of a similar disposition!


@MoonBat I can't tell if that's amazing or disgusting. Either way, it's awesome.


I was amazingly disgusted, thinking of it! I love the influence that The Hairpin has on me!


I'm sadface. At least this is what strangers on the street tell me.

Honestly...I can't think what I look like enough to be able to tell which element my face is.

Real metal face


Total earth face y'all! The description is pretty much right for me, actually! I do have undertones of Qreamface, though.

Jolie Kerr

I'm a Cum On My Face!

(Oh my God I'm so sorry I don't know WHY I just said that!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEK. Friday? Okay.)

a horde of great crab things

@Jolie Kerr If you had instead said ' I'm an O- face', no- one would be looking at you with disdain right now.


@Jolie Kerr

And you call yourself a Clean Person.

Jolie Kerr

@atipofthehat Did you miss the part yesterday where I smut talked the mop???


@Jolie Kerr: Way to class the joint up...


@discodamage Anyone looking at Jolie with disdain at the moment needs to take a good hard look at themselves, and maybe lighten the fuck up.



I can't imagine that anyone has ever looked at Jolie that way.


Did this make anyone else think of Captain Planet?


@Ophelia YES. also, the cardcaptors theme song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80skdc_D2QE


"[Prince] William has a lot of wood energy in his face." Well, I'm going back to bed.


@melis so, apparently so does Kate?


@melis: Well, it's Friday, so I'm hoping to be getting some wood in my face tonight...


So I tried to do this but I keep thinking of Memoirs of a Geisha and how godawful it was whenever someone met the main character and were all YOU HAVE A GREAT DEAL OF WATER IN YOUR FACE, WATER ERODES WOOD, WATER IS MAGIC, DID YOU KNOW YOU HAVE WATER IN YOUR FACE? DID I MENTION THIS YET?


@cosmia And now I realized I have a water face too! A great deal of water! I AM A MARY SUE IN A DEEPLY FLAWED BOOK WRITTEN BY AN AMERICAN MAN ABOUT JAPANESE WOMEN NOOOO


@cosmia I liked that book :/


@NeenerNeener I like it too, but would have liked it nine thousand times better if it was actually written by a geisha and was really comprised of memoirs. :(
Have you read Snowflower And The Secret Fan? It's set in China, by a lady of partial Chinese descent, who paints the most lovely picture of the time and place. I think it's about to be a movie, which I am afraid to see because the book was so good.


@sox PS, is "comprised of memoirs" correct? Comprised of memories? Can some editorial person explain?


@sox I read it around the time I read The Good Earth, which was written by a woman and for some reason I found that surprising, so I kind of liked that it was written by man - the theme for me was opposites of who I thought would have written the books, so I found it interesting.
No, I haven't read that one, I'll have to check it out since I seem to be big on novels set in Asia...
No help on the memoirs/memories thing, except to say that if it were, it would have been nonfiction.


I loved that book! Though the water thing became over kill when she followed a *puddle*.


@sox You should read Geisha: A Life! It's basically the real-life Sayuri and an actual memoir.


@NeenerNeener I kind of begrudgingly do too, mostly because I loooove the long flowery descriptions of their kimonos and art and lacquered boxes and stuff.


@cosmia But...fiction? I mean, I won't get into the whole debate about appropriate of voice, but I do think if something is well researched enough and thought and consideration has been given into really getting into the psyche of that character, it shouldn't matter whether it was written by a man or a woman or what their race is. Because: FICTION. And everyone just wrote what they know whole genres wouldn't exist.


Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face, Edith is a fire face....


@atipofthehat The tag pretty clearly indicates that Edith thinks she's a wood face. Let's compromise. Ash face!



"Wood" + "face"?

OMG, what are you trying to say?

Guy DeBr0'd

I just want oodles. Oodles of something... Anything...


What about those of us with big eyes and small lips!? Whyyyyyy??
Seriously though, I have no idea how you're supposed to know.
Plus the quiz is totally white washed.


@Megan Patterson@facebook Well, it is the Daily Mail.


@melis actually, thinking about this...if it's from long-ago China, there probably was a pretty darn small and homogeneous gene pool we're talking about here.


@Megan Patterson@facebook I have big lips and small eyes with stumpy lashes. I have no face, please help.


@Megan Patterson@facebook Yes this! I have big lips and small eyes, too. I am nothing.

the ghost of amy lee

I'm totally an earth face AND I'm a taurus which is earthy or something? The Daily Mail always knows exactly what dubious study, human interest story, or ancient chinese secrets I am anxious to learn about!


And did everyone see the Avocado-Face-Cher link?


God, they must have fun over at the Daily Mail...


This seems like a good place to bring up the OTHER kind of face shapes, aka Oval, Square, Round and Heart, and how I have never seen the same celebrities used to show examples of these in two different publications and I don't know what shape my face is and then even though I think it's complete bullshit, when I'm looking for a new haircut and it's all, "this would go well on oval faces" I spend wayyyy too much time trying to figure out if I'm an oval. All skulls are basically ovals, right?! Right?! And a heart shape is pretty much only going to apply if you have a widow's peak, right?!


@E this also applies to eyeglass shopping. my forehead is heart-shaped, my nose and cheeks are oval and my chin is round. what the fuck kind of shape is that? kumquat?



I think Jolie has "kum quat" covered.

Sorry For Partying

@E This! All faces look like ovals to me too!


I am a woodface. Hahahah. Wood on my face. The description actually fits me pretty well, I'm ashamed to say.

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