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Thursday, September 15, 2011

231

Ask a Clean Person: Bras, Sex Toys, DivaCups, and Leg Waxidents

I am normally a very clean person myself, but I am totally stumped on how to take care of my bras. I have recently started buying nicer bras after noticing my old Victoria's Secret bras always wound up with really loose shoulder straps and gave me bra lines. I've had a really lovely Le Mystere bra for about three months, and while it was perfect and smooth at first, it's now starting to loosen up a bit and also give me bra lines and slip at the shoulder straps. So first, is there something I'm doing that's making my $90 bras stretch out?? Second, I know I need to wash by hand. I've never had to wash delicates before, how do you do it without messing them up? What soap do you use?

Remember last week when I admitted that I hate cleaning the floors? This week I'm so excited that I get to talk to you about washing bras because I LOVE WASHING BRAS. Pretty, lacy, booby things? YES PLEASE. Washing bras also brings the extra bonus of cleaning the sink and I cannot tell you the extent to which I adore cleaning the sink. I loathe a dirty-looking sink.

I consulted Noted Brassiere Expert Jane Marie to ask about best practices for getting her precious frilly items clean in the gentlest of ways, and here's what she had to say.

Unless you want to spend as much time cleaning your bras as you do vacuuming every month, start with a large collection. I wash my bras by hand once every two months or so, BUT! I have about 15 bras that I rotate so that I only wear one bra, say, a maximum of four times before washing? Is that gross? Who cares?

As for technique, I clean my kitchen sink thoroughly with just soap and water. Then I plug the drain, add one tablespoon of this in some scent (I have the little collection) and fill the sink with warm water. Add bras. Let them sit for, like, 10 minutes. Meanwhile, lay out one very large absorbent towel on the floor and have another of the same size handy. Next, I put on dish gloves and start, like, massaging the bras one by one in the water? I mean you don't want to bend or smoosh or squeeze them because they have delicate parts and sometimes wires, so just massage each one. The water should get murky and make you feel like a disgusting person. When you're done with all the bras, drain the sink and rinse each bra separately with cold water for a super long time.

If the bra has any padding or lots of fabric, give it a gentle squeeze to get excess water out and one by one lay them on the towel on the floor. Top with the other towel and using your hands (or feet!) press all over the place to dry them as much as possible. Transfer all the bras to a third towel taking care to reshape them if needed before they dry. Admire your collection.

Shall we take a moment to gawp at the Great Goddess Janie and her fancy-pantsy Tocca wash and wish that for just one second of our lives we could be as incredible as she is? *whimper*

Now then. This lowly lil' Clean Person uses Woolite for her delicates. Any of the Mrs. Meyer's laundry detergents will be fine as well, as they're gentle and delicious smelling. Your geraniums will bring all the boys/girls to the yard. If any of your clothes ever stain your bras with dye, get them wet in your sink-solution then throw some OxiClean right onto the stained areas and do a little chh-chh frottage action of rubbing the fabric against itself. Then put the bra right back in the wash water, add a sprinkle of Oxi to the mix, swirl it around with your paws and let everything have a good soak.

There's also the wash they'll try to push on you at Intimacy, and I feel like this is a really good time to talk to you about what you're going to do when you get to the point in your appointment when they try to upsell you into the $16 Intimacy Lingerie Wash. Here is your script:

Intimacy Upseller Lady: Now, how are you washing your bras?
You: I use Forever New to hand wash my bras.

Forever New is one of the brands they sell at Intimacy, and it’s only $6, so if you say you’re already using it they can’t really shame you into another product. I do not care if it's a lie if it protects you from feeling bullied into spending $16 on bra wash. (I don’t at all mind if you buy $16 bra wash, I just don’t want you to feel bullied into doing so.)

Related: I encourage you to lie an awful lot, don't I? Good thing I turned down that Ask an Honest Person column pitch!

Since you really seem to want to tell us (and I have a friend who wants to know), how does one clean her sex toys (silicone, glass and everything in between — this friend really loves her toys)?

Honestly? (Oh now I’m being honest??) It wasn’t so much that I wanted to tell you as I wanted an excuse to go on a reportorial mission to Babeland. Which I did and man oh Manischewitz was it ever fun! Everyone should hang at Babeland, all the time, always. Mama loves her some Babeland.

So here’s the good word, broken down by material type, from the lovely, lovely experts in all things Play Toy:

Silicone, no motor: Soap & water; before first use and/or between bodies or orifices boil for 8-10 minutes (“just like spaghetti!”) to disinfect.

Glass: Soap & water; be careful not to apply extreme heat (“just like a drinking glass!”).

Pyrex: Soap & water; before first use and/or between bodies or orifices boil for 8-10 minutes to disinfect.

Stainless Steel: Soap & water; if your toy has no motor, boil for 8-10 minutes to disinfect before first use and/or between bodies or orifices.

Hard Plastic: Soap & water.

Elastomer and TPR: Soap & water.

Wood: Soap & water.

Stone: Soap & water; before first use and/or between bodies or orifices boil for 8-10 minutes to disinfect.

Jelly Rubber: Soap & water.

Cyberskin: It’s made of mineral oil, so wash with as little soap as possible, if you must use soap at all. Further instructions on the care of cyberskin can be found on the Fleshlight website.

General Tips, Thoughts, Advice from the Babes:

“You can wash a whole load of dildoes in the top rack of the dishwasher. Just don’t use soap.”

“Don’t use anything you wouldn’t put in your body. Dishsoap, rubbing alcohol, bleach ...” (Sniffle. <3 u Bleachie.)

Make sure your toys are completely dry before storing them.

If you’re using a toy with a motor that isn’t waterproof, don’t put it under water. Opt instead to wipe it down with a soapy cloth.

Use a condom for easy clean up or when in doubt.

Hard plastic, elastomer, TPR, and jelly rubber are all porous. You must must must use a condom if you are going to share toys made of those materials with a partner.

And finally: “Toy cleaner is great for when you just can’t get out of bed.”

Were you joking when you mentioned cleaning DivaCups? You were joking, right? Does ... does that mean I can ask you how to clean mine, or that I should not mention it for fear of being mocked. Fuck it, how do I clean my DivaCup? I mean, it's totally clean, I wash it every time I empty it and I boil it to sanitize it after. But it's ... yellowing. Is that just what silicone does, and I have to live with it? I CAN live with it, but ... maybe I should add some vinegar when I boil it!

My Lord, I don’t even remember what I said? Did I tell you to wash them with baking soda & vinegar?? Then yes, yes that was totally a joke! Don’t don’t don’t use vinegar on your DivaCup. But hey, it’s a great not-at-all-mock-worthy question and as long as we’re here talking about our ladyparts let’s do this thing!

First things first: The DivaCup website has super great, detailed instructions that you should check out. I’m going to give you the brief version here and let the DivaCup evangelists among the commentariette take it away because lawdy, you are some opinionated ladyfolk! Love you! Never change!

Right then, your basics are: Wash that bad boy (bad girl? Bad girl, yes obvi!) with mild soap and water. You can also boil the Cup for 5-10 minutes. You’ll want the water to be rolling along at a good clip, and you do not want to use a lid once the Cup is in the pot.

Do NOT use vinegar, hydrogen peroxide, tea tree oil, scented soap, oil-based soaps (castile, peppermint, lavender, etc.), dishsoap, antibacterial soap, hand sanitizer, moistened wipes, rubbing alcohol, bleach. (Sniffle. <3 u Bleachie.)

If your DivaCup becomes discolored, try boiling it. If that doesn’t work, as is your case, it may just be that the silicone has been compromised and you can choose whether or not it bothers you enough to purchase a new one. The Diva people offer something called DivaWash that may be the ticket to preventing discoloration in the first place, but I’m (1) not a Cup user (FLOG ME WITH TAMPONS FOR MY CRIMES, GO ON, I CAN TAKE IT) and (2) I’m naturally suspicious of single-use products marketed by companies that have a vested interest in selling you on extras to bank coin.

This is embarrassing. I spilled an entire container of wax on my wooden floors while trying to remove hair from my legs. Unfortunately, this isn't the kind of wax that hardens — it's a thick, sticky mess in a 6" puddle smack dab in the middle of my bedroom. Please help, before this wax ends up over everything!

There are times when a question comes in and I die a weeny bit of joy because it's just so Hairpin. Usually when this happens I forward them to The Lady Edith and we sort of go “ALKSHjfhaiakhSLKasfHLSKHFsh” because it’s our way of expressing  how much we love you. I think it's nice for you to know that!

Anyway, this is one of those questions. I just … thank God for the legions of women out there DIYing their own hair removal because you crack me up and also your problem is going to be an easy fix! Don't you just love that? (Sometimes I feel sad when I have to break bad news to you in the form of "Yeah … this will take some work.")(And other times  I enjoy it. You know me too well for me not to admit that.)

Here's what you need:

  • A couple of brown paper bags
  • An iron

Turn the iron on low and allow it to heat through for 5-10 mintutes. While that's heating tear or cut your brown paper bags into individual sheets. Now lay a sheet of brown paper over the wax and apply the iron to the paper. Hold the iron there, being extra careful to watch that the paper doesn't start burning. When one piece of paper is saturated with wax, switch in another and keep doing so until you've pulled the mess up off the floor. Since all irons aren’t created equally, if you notice that the heat setting isn’t high enough to make this work, turn it up. Just do so in increments to avoid singeing your floors.

Now that you’re done with that you'll want to spot clean the floor. Here are several thousand ways to do so!

This technique is also what you should use if you ever get candle wax on other unmoveable surfaces. While I have you, if you ever get wax stuck on small objects, pop them in the freezer. The wax will shrink up and you'll be able to pull it right off whatever it's adhered to.

Jolie Kerr is not paid to endorse any of the products mentioned in this column, but she sure would be very happy to accept any free samples the manufacturers care to send her way! Are you looking for a green alternative to the suggestions found here? Because we’ve got some! More importantly: Is anything you own dirty?

Photo by Inger Anne Hulbækdal, via Shutterstock

231 Comments / Post A Comment

theinvisiblecunt

Instruction on cleaning wood and stone dildos, just what I never knew was missing from my life. Will be reporting this info back to the coven, tnxx

collier

@theinvisiblecunt : I was seriously wondering about that. Were the girls you talked to at Babeland named Trog and Hurg?

Also : just the very idea of an entire dishwasher rack full of dildos is ... that's the shit sitcoms are made from.

DrFeelGood

@theinvisiblecunt haha I was like dum de dum... wait WOOD?! WTF. Splinters in my vagina, no thanks.

Glee

@theinvisiblecunt I used to post on a website that had a user called A Man Selling Dildos Made of Wood. Good times.

L M
L M

STAINLESS STEEL, WOOD, OR STONE? what the? jolie, change of brunch plans for sunday.

L M
L M

ps I need a <3 u Bleachie tee.

Ophelia

@Lucia Martinez Yes! Where would you even...what??

PistolPackinMama

@Lucia Martinez I read that first as "stainless steel wool toys" toys. And everything below my wait curled up and whimpered.

Nicole Cliffe

@Lucia Martinez I imagine that characters in 'The Mists of Avalon' were totally rocking wood and stone sex toys, and would be super grateful for this.

MaggieMay

@Lucia Martinez I'm so glad you posted the comment about WOOD. When i read the column, i thought it said WOOL!! and i threw up in my mouth, just a little bit.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@Lucia Martinez So my mother wanted to go to see the terracotta warriors on their world tour, so I went with her. Lots of other stuff from ancient China was touring along with the terracotta warriors, including bronze dildos from the Han Dynasty. I parked myself a few meters away from that exhibit and watched museum-goers' faces merge into recognition of what they were looking at! Best: Chinese mother and grandmother laughing at a five-year-old boy who just had no idea...

ach_so

@Lucia Martinez yes, stainless steel. you heard it here, ladies: stainless steel is where it's at! i have a very expensive stainless steel dildo, and, uh, yeah, best gift from the bf ever!

joie

@rosielo but isn't it chilly? like, really really chilly?

so what?

@heyits that's all i kept thinking! isn't it... cold?

Porn Peddler

@so what? So is glass! You can run chilly toys under warm water before use :) And if you don't...well, they warm up fast.

Jolie Kerr

@Lucia Martinez Meet at Ferrara > 'post-coital kimono' shopping > swing into Babeland > run up to my apartment to craft a set of <3 u Bleachie tees (BYOT) > boozy brunch. Yes?

joie

@Third Wave Housewife ok, that makes sense. I guess I don't get the allure of glass/steel toys though. does it feel better? can you explain a little? I'm mystified by them.

L M
L M

@Jolie Kerr yes! but not mexican again because it killed my lactose intolerance last time.

L M
L M

@everyone else: I get the attraction of heat retention properties, and maybe a nice glass one wouldn't be awful, but it's just...the lack of give. the potential for PAIN.

Porn Peddler

@heyits Hm. I don't have a stainless steel toy (I'm full of sex toy knowledge because I am a sex educator) but the appeal of glass is the weight and hardness and the texture. I do have a glass toy, and it is perfectly smooth and super carefully shaped (it's a piece of blown glass art, really, I love the damn thing!) with a big swirl around it. It's pretty great! I'd think the same applies for stainless steel. Personally, I would prefer a slightly smaller glass dildo than the one I have, because I am a tiny peanut of a person, but in general, glass is great fun! Just be careful...

T A@twitter

@Lucia Martinez
Stainless steel dildos are heavier. The extra weight makes things more intense and fulfilling. I only use them alone, so there's no risk of injury from an enthusiastic partner. Basically, this is the best application of F=MA in real life.

I can't believe that my first post managed to work in the glory of stainless steel dildos and physics.

lids

@Lucia Martinez seconded

Craftastrophies

@Lucia Martinez If you do make <3 bleachie tshirts, PLEASE make them by bleach dying around cut out words, or similar. It can be the only way, surely!

ach_so

@heyits yes, like Third Wave Houswife said, it's the weight that's appealing. i love how firm it is. there is potential for pain when using it with an eager partner, though, but i feel like nearly every sex toy has an adjustment period. it's totally awesome solo. also, i find that firmness to be great for g-spot fun! as for temp, yes, it's chilly when you first start playing with it, but it warms up really quickly.

fondue with cheddar

@heyits What they said re: glass and stainless steel. Also, they're super easy to clean! Just make sure if a partner is using it on you that they don't bruise your cervix. My glass dildo is my g-spot's best friend!

simone eastbro

Bra Lady: I just had a bra fitting (GAME CHANGER) and learned several things that might help. Apparently it's best not to wear your bras two days in a row so that they can "rest"/the elastic or lycra or whatever can snap back into shape. I was also told specifically NOT to use Woolite, to use unscented detergent instead, and that it is totally fine to put those babies in bra washing net bags and throw them in the washing machine.

The Lady of Shalott

@simone eastbro Thank goodness because that is EXACTLY what I do. Unscented detergent, net lingerie bag full of bras, washing machine gentle/hand-wash cycle, hang to dry in the shower, done. Of course, I buy $30 bras from Aerie, so, yeah.

LastMinuteLulu

@simone eastbro I totally second the bras in the netting bag and throwing them in the washing machine. I just don't have the time to wash them each individually by hand!

punkahontas

@simone eastbro Yes! But not the dryer! Also, there are special net bags for bras,, and make sure you close the hooks first so they don't catch on anything. I do this for my regular everyday bras and do my fancy ones by hand.

LastMinuteLulu

@The Lady of Shalott Oh, you hang dry in the shower? I throw them in the dryer on low for about 15 minutes. Done.

simone eastbro

@The Lady of Shalott i was wearing an aerie bra at this bra fitting and i go "i'm so proud of myself for having the right size!" and the saleslady goes, "yeah, but you are never wearing this again because i am burning it."

@simone eastbro I'm a recent convert to Natori. I used to wear Victoria's Secret crappy tshirt bras every day. My boobs thank me now.

Nutellaface

@simone eastbro I am wearing an Aerie bra at this precise moment. They are super comfy and cheap and make great basics! And I, too, just throw them in a lingerie bag in the washing machine. If god didn't want me to wash my bras in the washing machine, he wouldn't have invented lingerie bags, as they say.

simone eastbro

@Nutellaface no, i know. my problem is that i have Considerable Bosom and had also worn the shit out of it.

Nutellaface

@simone eastbro Oh, yes. I had a few overworn bras. So much so that I'd grown from an A cup to a B cup (yay birth control!) and wore the bra so often that it STRETCHED TO FIT MY BOOBS. I was expressly forbidden from wearing it ever again when it was discovered that I was a completely different bra size than my bras told me I was.

simone eastbro

@Nutellaface Career Bra Ladies are committed evangelists, you know?!

(not so) wise owl

@S. Elizabeth Natori bras are the shit. I'd never heard of them before getting fitted at a fancy store, but now I spread the gospel. Especially if you're a broad-shouldered/broad-backed lady (36 and up)--they have well-made bands that do a good job of supporting all the way around.

The Lady of Shalott

@LastMinuteLulu Once I accidentally put a bra in the dryer for like, an hour, and it was so malformed when it came out that it like, curled forward and I think it permanently traumatized me from putting bras in dryers. But only 15 minutes and that does teh trick? And it doesn't screw up the elastic and stuff? I sense an opportunity!

The Lady of Shalott

@simone eastbro Awwwwww. I wish I could buy $75 bras because damn, I bet my figure would look a lot better, but $75 is my grocery budget for two weeks and since I'm a broke-ass grad student, it's not really in the stars. One day I am going to have fancy expensive lingerie, though. Until then, $14 adorable bras from the Aerie clearance rack it is!

LastMinuteLulu

@The Lady of Shalott I think the key to it is using the lowest setting on the dryer. I also do this with certain sweaters or other clothing that say "hang dry only" because I like to live in the edge. I've rarely had an issue doing this.

SarahP

@simone eastbro I just recently found out from the Martha Stewart website that I shouldn't wear the same bra two days in a row because the elastic needs to rest, and that's how they get stretched out faster. So now I look at all my stretched-out bras and think, you must have been so tired.

dustwindbun

@The Lady of Shalott ahhh I remember those days. Not the 'not having $75 for a bra' days, because those are still here, but the 'I can buy a $14 bra that fits' days. 34G reprezent.
(I was a 34C until a few years after college, when suddenly everything just ... shifted?)

DrFeelGood

OK so wait, what is wrong with my Maidenform I got it for 7 dollars at the outlet bra? Maidenform makes a great bra? Right? I am not buying a $100 dollar bra - tell me why this is necessary I neeeed to know.

simone eastbro

@DrFeelGood POSSIBLY NOTHING. a lot of that depends on what size you are. why don't you go try ON some expensive bras and see if you see a difference? can't hurt, right?

jacqueline
jacqueline

Oh my god the brown paper thing is cracking me up because it's like you're waxing your floor's legs.

Also, I have spilled candle wax on every single carpeted surface in my parents' house. Does the paper/iron thing work on carpets too?

Pixley

@jacqueline The paper/iron thing works on EVERYTHING. It is AWESOME. I spilled candle wax on basically all the surfaces in my room when I was like thirteen (because I liked candles?) and yes. Carpets.

Ophelia

@Pixley Just be sure to check what the carpet is made of. If it's synthetic, you can easily melt patches. Also, try rubbing an ice cube on the wax, and then scraping it up with a credit card - you'll get more of it off before you start w/the iron.

jacqueline
jacqueline

@Pixley Yes, all my candle wax accidents were from my unfortunate teenage years when I had little shrines to hot celebrities in my closet.

@Ophelia Damn, they might be/are probably synthetic. Guess I gotta start with ice?

Ophelia

@jacqueline Start with the ice to get up most of the wax, then make sure you use a VERY LOW setting on the iron, and only heat it up incrementally. Might want to test it out on an inconspicuous place and/or a carpet remnant, too.

Ophelia

@Ophelia (sorry, to clarify - the ice cube thing will work regardless of what the carpets are made of)

jacqueline
jacqueline

@Ophelia Thanks! :)

sophia_h

@jacqueline Not only does it work on carpets, but this trick is SUPER old. I recently read an Agatha Christie from the '30s in which Miss Marple was saying a really good maid would know to take candle grease stains out of the carpet with an iron and a piece of blotting paper.

deliosaur

@sophia_h Yay Miss Marple!! Only she can teach me all I need to know in life by applying an extended metaphor to garden upkeep :) Is anyone else concerned about the drastic reduction in Miss Marple's age for the upcoming Jennifer garner adaptation?

sophia_h

@jacqueline Less "concerned" and more "what is the point of Miss Marple if she's not 103??" The whole idea is that she's hardly ever left her tiny village yet she was alive in like 1850 so she knows all about human nature! I may have some feelings about this.

Swisschard

@sophia_h Have you seen the amazing movie of "The Mirror Crack'd" where they made Angela Lansbury look all old?

franzia

I learned not to put my bras in the dryer when I was a teenager from watching Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

bb
bb

@franzia you put a BRA in ze DRYER???

sarah girl

@bb It WARPS it!

mirror_father_mirror

@franzia Yes. I have thought of this scene EVERY TIME I've gone to the laundromat in the past decade.

Manatee

I never wash my bras. I wish I could afford 16 bras, but alas, mine cost like $75/each. I have one black and one beige. I wash them a few times a year, def. less than once a month. Is that gross? Probably. Would I rather spend money on things other than bras, like weed, Jeffrey Campbell shoes, concerts and bikinis? Definately.

Woolite is actually really bad for delicates. I learned this while working wardrobe in various costume shops. It was nice and gentle in the 50s when detergents were super-harsh, but by today's standards it is no longer gentle. Baby shampoo is the way to go.

franzia

@Manatee I have one black, one beige, and two "fun." I mean, I don't really need more, and my guy definitely hasn't noticed; the only one he can identify is the "one that's hard to get off."

DrFeelGood

@franzia the best is the front closure. Gets them every time, they are soo confused.

Crantastical

@Manatee I rarely wash my bras. They just never seem to need it. Once in a while I'll hand wash them in the shower with my bucket (I'm sooo pioneer) to get the dead skin or whatever off. I really like the calvin klein ones and they're at pretty much every tj maxx/filene's basement/marshall's.

Pixley

Whaaaaaaaat do you do with a wood sex toy. How do you--okay I am putting private browsing on and googling this. For science.

EDIT THIRTY SECONDS LATER: hahahah of course there is woodsextoys.com. Of COURSE.

queenofbithynia

@Pixley All I can think of is splinters. or, maybe they AREN'T whittled out of balsa wood as craft projects for bored campers, I don't know.

kpoparazzi

@queenofbithynia I keep imagining a steampunk dildo.

Apocalypstick

@kpoparazzi Steampunk dildo, you say? http://www.littledeathray.com/ That's the (occasionally horrifying) wonder of the internet, someone really has thought of everything.

Pixley

@Apocalypstick I am not quite sure if I should be horrified or delighted or somewhere in between that the steampunk dildo site promises me that something called "Lady Clankington's Dueling Academy" is coming soon. Dueling?

kpoparazzi

@Apocalypstick Oh geez, the porno for that should be called 'A Journey to the Center of Captain Nemo's Pleasure Zone.'

LittleMousling

Ditto on skipping Woolite--not a fan. I'm a knitter, so I use a good no-rinse woolwash (Eucalan, Soak, Kookaburra, etc)--love the results.

Craftastrophies

@LittleMousling SOAK is the only thing that ever motivates me to wash my bras/jumpers/whatever by hand. It smells SO GOOD and also it's pretty. I generally just wash my bras on the gentle cycle in my front loader, but it does reduce their lifespan pretty significantly. You can also use baby shampoo, like you would for knits (speaking as a knitter).

As an aside, people, check your care labels and also the content of your jumpers (sweaters, whatever). Many many things say dryclean only, but they are not! They are gentle handwash only! Or maybe, on the gentle cycle only! Most woollens can be hand/machine washed (for the love of god, though, NOT the dryer or it will felt and you will cry). I know this because dry cleaned stuff makes me itch and also I'm a knitter. If it's got sequins or beads or bits that will fall off, it may need drycleaning, and don't put your cashmere jumper in the machine, but you can hand wash most stuff, especially if you would rather spend your $$ on MORE clothes, rather than on laundering them with chemicals.

NeverOddOrEven

@LittleMousling I have a cardigan with beaded/sequined embellishment and I've had no problem turning it inside-out and in the lingerie bag and running it through the washer.
My damn fenderless mountain bike is what ruined the thing. Mud spots all up the back of my beautiful white sweater... sigh.

parallel-lines

Sometimes I hear people put on their bras and get into the shower and wash them while they're washing themselves. I have considered doing this but my boyfriend almost had a heart attack when I wore my glasses into the shower--I don't think he can handle it.

madge

@parallel-lines i take mine into the bath with me. madge soup!

punkahontas

@parallel-lines I feel the same way about those scrubby shower gloves! Naked + accessories is just comical.

Ophelia

@punkahontas And naked + socks = dealbreaker

punkahontas

@Ophelia Even if they're business socks?

Megatron

@parallel-lines Truth. The dude and I stayed in some skeezy motel this summer, so I wore my socks in the shower, because HELLO!?! it was FILTHY. He walked in on me and I don't think our sex life has been the same since...not in a good way.

Ophelia

@punkahontas So, they tell you when housetraining a puppy to use the same phrase every time they go to the bathroom so eventually they'll do it on command. We went with "It's business time!"

Sorry For Partying

@Ophelia I submit this as counter-argument.

charizard

I haven't boiled my Divacup in months. I'm not dead, smelly or disgusting. It's just blood. Rinse it off.

And I wash my two cheap Target bras - the only ones I own - in the machine washer! I use a lingerie bag just so they don't snag my sweaters. SUBVERTING THE CLEANLINESS ESTABLISHMENT.

NeverOddOrEven

@charizard Lazy, dirty girls unite! I do exactly all of that. Down to the brands.

bonnbee

Gahhhh! On the last hairpin Diva Cup thread a few months ago, some smart lady said to soak your DC in hydrogen peroxide for 24 hours after boiling, then rinse well. I've been doing it since then, will it make my vagina fall off?!

Also, I had a horrific experience with self bikini waxing last December and ended up with sticky wax all over everything in my life. I wish I had known the magical iron trick then! (Why did I try to self-wax? The Best Time I Was A 17 Year Old And Going On A Cruise and Tried to Find the Cheapest Waxing Place Ever So Found A Korean Nail Salon To Give Me A Brazilian for $20 and the Lady Began the Experience With "Now Hook Your Leg Around My Neck." Did I Mention I Was A Virgin and This Was The First Time Anyone Had Seen My Vag Before? Scarred For Life Five Years Later).

bonnbee

@bonnbee Also, WTF Diva Cup website. "Replace the Diva Cup once a year?" I spent $40 on that puppy, you can pry it from my cold, dead, menopausal hands.

sarah girl

@bonnbee I have read a LOT of recommendations around the internet to soak the DC in hydrogen peroxide, and I do it myself, although I do a 1:1 water and hydrogen peroxide solution. It's the only thing that will get the stains out! I also wash it carefully with soap and water afterwards. Thus far, I have no problems.

coconuts

@bonnbee I hate that they say to replace it once a year. I got mine 4 years ago and back then the website didn't say anything about replacing it every year. It's a money grab!

M'fly

@bonnbee Once a year?!?! HA! As if! I've had mine for 3 years and it's still in awesome shape. I only use it 5 days a month, I mean come on, it's not like it's a daily thing. And I don't think I'm especially hard on it. ...I mean, what would that even involve?

mustelid

@bonnbee I also soak mine in a 1:1 hydrogen peroxide water mix, for the staining but mostly for the weird vaguely-cabbagey smell that started hanging around after a few years use and wouldn't go away from soap and water/boiling. It's the only thing that works for that... odor. Why is this not a good thing to do?! I started doing it after someone on the internetz recommended it.

@coconuts, @J Keems@twitter, I believe the every year thing is some FDA bullshit. I special ordered mine from Canada like seven years ago before it was FDA approved, and the literature that came with it said it could be used for ten years. The FDA got squicked out or something (or is in bed with the feminine hygiene industry?) and made them say it has to be replaced yearly. Which is bullshit. Because I've had mine for seven years.

no way

@coconuts The keeper recommends replacing once a decade. A bit more reasonable.

angermonkey

@coconuts I think they're only FDA approved for 1 year of use so it's a CYA thing. Many women use them for years with no problem. Mine's two and it looks and behaves exactly the way it did out of the box. I wouldn't sweat it unless it cracked or something.

I also can't figure out why DC has issues on their site with Peroxide... maybe they're afraid you won't rinse it afterwards and insert it while still damp with peroxide? It's SILICONE, nothing short of flame is going to react with it...

redheaded&crazy

@bonnbee I use hydrogen peroxide too, never had any problems. Mine was getting all discoloured and gross until I started doing this, so I basically have not looked back.

razzledazzle

@bonnbee I totally agree! I laughed til I cried, because I thought the same thing. I love you guys so much.

Craftastrophies

@bonnbee Oooh! Hp. Excellent.

I feel like the DC has got a lot more 'and buy this other thing! And this single use thing! Also, tshirts!' since I bought mine. I mean, not actually tshirts, but it seems a lot more commercial and also pink? Maybe I just blocked that out.

pixieg

@bonnbee @coconuts The UK mooncup says that it will last for "years and years". That is a direct quote from the site. (http://www.mooncup.co.uk)

carolita

@bonnbee @charizard The only time I felt it was necessary to boil my Diva Cup was when it fell in the toilet. That's just sensible. But yeah, there's nothing in my hooha that needs boiling to kill. I rinse it between emptying-and-reinserting, sometimes I use plain unscented soap (whatever's handy), and yeah, it's yellowing a little, but so what? Who's gonna see it?

I do have a little trick for those teeny tiny holes under the rim which can be hard to clean. (Am I the only one who's noticed that?) I use brush picks (you know, these things: http://www.walmart.com/ip/Dentek-Easy-Brush-Cleaners-10-Pk-2pk/12559477) with a little soap to clean those holes out periodically (no pun intended).

And yes, I'm also guilty of occasionally soaking it in hydrogen peroxide, but have stopped because I haven't observed any particular benefit. Also, like I said: who's looking at my Diva Cup besides me?

The only reason I can think of to replace a Diva Cup now and then would be to keep the Diva Cup people in business. Therefore, I bought a second one this year, for back-up, to keep in my emergency period toolkit. I'd like to help keep the Diva Cup people in business. But the old one is just fine.

Deanna Destroi

@carolita Yes, the stupid tiny holes! Thank you for that tip! I used a safety pin and clearly that was a terrible idea. I'm not that bright.

boysplz

I can't believe I've gone my whole life without imagining bras gently frotting each other. THANK YOU JOLIE!

leonstj

Much like spaghetti, you want to make sure you only boil until al dente. Shit is awful when it's all soft and mushy.

phlox

For bra washing - Soak! http://www.soakwash.com/ Sold at lingerie shops and yarn stores. It's amazing, you can use it on any handwash things and it's rinse-free - you just put a bit in some water, soak your stuff, squeeze and let them dry. Also it seems to have miraculous stain-removing properties as well, it took spaghetti sauce out of my white sweater once.

partystripes

@phlox Seriously just created an account to agree with this. I am a Soak evangelist! The Celebration scent is amazing. All of my delicates(cheap ass Target bras) and handknits are washed in it.

KeLynn

@phlox I love Soak! To be totally honest I tend to use Forever New on my bras because I believe it takes care of the elastic better. But I could not live without Soak. It's what I use to clean other delicate items, or if say I want to clean exactly one shirt to wear the next day, and don't want to bother with doing a whole load of laundry.

Megasus

Wow, 15 bras!? I have like...4. That I probably don't wash as often as I should (I try for weekly, but mostly I just go by how sweaty I was/if they stink/look like they are covered in sweat goo). And I definitely don't bother with that towel deal and just hang them up. I don't even use Woolite! I am the worst.

Sundae

Y'all can also use a 10% bleach solution on your pure silicone toys, especially handy if they happen to pick up some discolouration/scents from...wherever. Just make sure you give it a good rinse and clean with normal soap afterwards to get rid of any residue.

I am about to give my presentation/spiel on lubes + sex toys + cleaning + body safe products and materials in a couple of weeks so hit me up if you guys have more questions on this topic that Jolie hasn't covered!

angelinha

@Sundae <3 u Bleachie

Elvis Costello's Spectacles

"Waxidents" made me titter somewhat. But then I absent-mindedly googled it and apparently it is a Real Thing? Like, on Urban Dictionary and everything. I obviously need to get with the times. What's next? Frizzaster? Blingjury?

Lady Pennyface

@Elvis Costello's Spectacles When I read "waxident" I just thought of Polident for some reason. And didn't even connect it to "wax-accident" for several minutes. I have always been bad at slang! So you probably are more with the times than me.

Pixley

@Elvis Costello's Spectacles Seeing "waxident" next to "Elvis Costello" has put "waxidents will happen, we oooonly hit and ruuuun" in my head, thanks.

Elvis Costello's Spectacles

@Pixley Bahaha! Not a patch on 'Waxing The Detectives' though, I feel.

Lady Pennyface

Grapefruit and cucumber detergent?! I love citrus AND cucumber scents! I need this in my life, I don't care if I smell like a summer salad walking by.

Nancy B

I cleaned my bathroom floor (tile and grout) your way last week, and it looks fantastic. I had been using Antibacterial Windex and paper towels on it, but I feel better using the Clorox Clean-up spray. I also recently bought a mega three-pack of Scrubbing Bubbles at the local wholesale club. And your tip on baking soda got a weird smell out of my laundry.

Porn Peddler

@Nancy B I'm a part time maid and I am seriously thinking of asking my employer if I can clean her kitchen floor. She loves mops and being anal about things but old broom + weird mop =/= clean kitchen floor.

missustufnel

OKAY! But what do I do with the leather harness! It gets kinda... well... it needs cleaning. Is leather cleaner safe? They say to wipe it with a damp cloth but too damp gets the leather all soggy and that's scary (stretching, shrinking, other weird possibilities) and not damp enough doesn't, ahem, get it done. Also, squick! Germs!

None of the FAQ toy cleaning places have any answers about leather cleaner/leather oil. WTF do I do?

Ophelia

@missustufnel Saddle soap, darling!

Jolie Kerr

@missustufnel Would you mind sending me a formal question via email? (cleaning@thehairpin.com) I would like to answer this! [Read: I would like to walk into a leather daddy shop and say, "Hi, I write a cleaning column for a women's website and one of my readers asked about the care of leather harnesses."]

atipofthehat

@Jolie Kerr

Try The Leather Man, Inc at 111 Christopher St! http://theleatherman.com/

I go there for the very comfortable black cotton socks.

Craftastrophies

@atipofthehat Sex toy stores totally have the best hosiery. It's where I buy all my stockings these days.

missustufnel

@Jolie Kerr Yay! Totally did! Excited to hear back! Thrilled to use it repeatedly with the excuse 'I need to try a new cleaning technique'

Should find some other techniques too... :)

Nicole Cliffe

Charlie's Laundry Soap is the bomb, but you have to switch all of your laundry over to it. It's like joining Scientology.

parallel-lines

@Nicole Cliffe Does your other laundry get jealous?

Nicole Cliffe

You're supposed to run two empty loads with the detergent and some rags first to RID YOUR WASHER OF THE MEMORIES OF DETERGENTS PAST.

Nicole Cliffe

Also, I love the suggestion to lie to avoid the upsell, because I am really susceptible to pressure and can barely get out of places without acquiring store credit cards.

simone eastbro

@Nicole Cliffe i said during my fitting, "ok, is it time for you to upsell me on bra wash?" and that totally defused it.

limberliz

@Nicole Cliffe When I went to Intimacy, the saleslady just recommended Forever New and mentioned their brand wash as an afterthought. I like Forever New a lot. It's very gentle and still gets the sweat stains and deodorant out really well.

DrFeelGood

@Nicole Cliffe Just do what I do, smile the entire time and be like No thanks, maybe next time, while backing away slowly... Usually lying backfires for me "oh you use our product already? Well then you should definitely try xyz".

KatPruska

My seething jealousy that someone can not only afford 15 bras (that's like, $1500 for that many in my stupid size) but also FIND 15 bras that fit well enough to purchase precludes me from saying anything useful.

*pouts in corner, eyes two bras spitefully and bitterly, browses breast reduction website, curses insurance company's draconian, "no coverage unless we're required by law because of cancer!" policy, drinks*

limberliz

@KatPruska My size is also quite the challenge and I have four good bras and two old junk bras. I usually just wear the four good bras so I'm wearing each one maybe twice a week at most. I have two beige, one red and one grey with blue lace stuff. They're fun and still practical. I can't imagine having fifteen bras that are still in good condition and still fit.

Erika Bettencourt@facebook

@KatPruska I hear you! I have three stupidly sized bras, each one uglier that the last. I fantasize about winning the lottery so I can expand my "collection" to include more than utilitarian black and nude beasts.

coconuts

I started shopping at a fancy bra shop here in Toronto a few years ago and they totally sold me on a bra cleaner called Soak. I love it because that's all you do. You soak your bras in the detergent and some water for 15 minutes and then wring them out and hang them up to dry. It's the best solution for a lazy person like me.

MaggieMay

@coconuts I LUUUUV Soak. I use it for all sweaters and all my knitting projects, bc of the "no rinsing" instructions! Let's be lazy together!

Brett Phillipson@facebook

@coconuts What's the store called? I need to get a fitting a some point and I have no idea where to go because I buy all my bras at Winners.

phlox

@Brett Phillipson@facebook Secrets from Your Sister! Just west of Bathurst on Bloor. Those ladies are amazing.

moose

@Brett Phillipson - I have heard so many amazing things about Secrets from your Sister as well! My much more busty friends have all bought their bras there and love them

@coconuts I just wanted to shout out some appreciation for your amazing young, studly Jack Layton user photo. I love that one! And now I'm going to go buy some soak even though all my two bras just go in the machines (with no bag *gasp!*)

coconuts

@Brett Phillipson@facebook As phlox said, it's called Secrets From Your Sister. They also have a location on Yonge Street. They really are amazing. For years I shopped at La Senza and was told that I was a 40DD but their bras sucked and never held me up. Turns out I'm actually a 42F! Bras in that size are pricy but it's worth it to have something that actually offers support.

coconuts

@BeesKnees Ha, thanks. I felt kind of bad because I started this account not long before Jack died and then I wondered if I should change the photo. But I thought, "No! Fuck it, he was a handsome young man and I'm keeping it!"

Brett Phillipson@facebook

@coconuts Awesome, I used to live right near the one on Bloor, but I was always afraid to go in because I thought they would judge me for my weird boobs (I was eighteen, okay). Didn't know they had a location on Yonge, though. I'll definitely have to check that out.

phlox

@coconuts OK, all you Toronto ladies - and there are several more that have not been commenting recently - are you up for a meetup in October? I am thinking maybe the weekend after Thanksgiving.

The Lou 83

I design lingerie for a living and I put my everyday bras in the washer (NEVER in the dryer). For the fancier and more expensive bras (Anything with a lot of lace or fancy trims), it's a good idea to wash these by hand. It's always safer to wash by hand but I am lazy. I buy Wacoal usually and they have never been damaged in the wash. I suggest buying several pairs of your favorite everyday bra. It is a good idea to "rest" you bra, this will prevent it from stretching out. Also, if your bra feels stretched out, that is a good sign that it needs a wash. I wash my bras once every 2 or 3 weeks. Bras DO need to be washed! Once or twice a year is not enough and will actually wear out your bra faster.

simone eastbro

@The Lou 83 dear lingerie designer, please be my best friend.

DrFeelGood

@The Lou 83 Seriously. Let's go buy awesome foundation garments and then go by all the new Mad Men clothes and drink martinis. Pleeease?

thehoff

I just registered so I can tell y'all that I just put my DivaCup in the dishwasher once every 1-2 months and it gets it all sparkly clean and bright like new. Is that bad?

wharrgarbl

@thehoff I'd be concerned about dishwasher detergent residue and that dishwashers are (apparently, according to the last edition of How Your House Will Kill You With Biohazards) kind of like little spa resorts for yeasts.

But the DivaWash stuff will not get stains out, it's pretty much just to take the guesswork out of "is this detergent okay for my diva cup and also my vagina." I don't really regret buying it since I'm still on the same bottle three years later. It's concentrated, so a little goes a long way, it's not that expensive, and I don't regularly use anything that was really suitable, so I was going to buy something anyway. YMMV for whether or not it's worth it, but it def won't do anything for discoloration.

angermonkey

@wharrgarbl Honestly, I just use whatever soap is handy and rinse it a bazillion times. Is that gross? Whatever, I don't care, I'm gross. If I'm feeling REALLY hippie I wash it with some Dr. Bronners peppermint (again, COPIOUS RINSING.)

wharrgarbl

@angermonkey I don't know if it's gross or not, but oh god you couldn't pay me enough to get me to use Dr. Bronner's on my diva cup. I'm pretty sure that soap declared war on the nation's junk upon founding.

angermonkey

@wharrgarbl That's why I said COPIOUS RINSING. Although, I'm weird, I use the stuff as a body wash. I don't mind the cool.

wharrgarbl

@angermonkey Still, though. Dr. Bronner's. The very suggestion has my vagina trying to hide from me right now.

plonk

WAXING STORY!

A while back I bought some of those leg-waxing strips (strips of paper with preapplied wax that you stick onto your leg, then rip off after a few minutes) for the first time. They worked great! I did drop one strip wax-side down on the floor one time, but only a tiny bit of wax stuck to the floor and it was in an inconspicuous spot so I just let it gather dust until it was no longer sticky...I didn't realize how gross that was until I typed it out! Sorry Jolie, now that I know how to fix it I will!

Anyway, the actual story is this: one fine summer day I was about to leave the house when I realized hey, I haven't shaved my armpits in a while, maybe this tank top would look better if I did. And I thought, I have these waxing strips, I can just do my armpits REAL FAST and don't even need to get into the shower! This was a terrible idea. Of course the wax strip isn't designed for underarms, and of course I tried to pull it off too soon cause my arm was getting tired, so what I ended up doing was yanking REALLY HARD on the armpit skin, pulling the paper off the wax, and leaving a thick sticky layer of stubble-studded wax on my armpit. At this point I challenge you Clean People to think of what you would have done. I tried to wash it off with soap (thus negating my Time Saving! plan), which was so ineffectual it was comical. I moved to the kitchen sink and tried to scrub it off with dish soap. (I don't try to be Liz Lemon, it just happens.) This also had barely any effect. THEN I had the brilliantly counterintuitive idea of scooping a big glob of body butter onto the area. The lipid-on-lipid action sufficiently loosened and slipperified the wax that I was able to wipe the whole mess off with a paper towel. And then I went about my day like a winner!

joie

@plonk wax stories! I can identify!
One time I tried to give myself a bikini wax with Sally Hansen Lavender Expressions Spa Kit.
I'll spare you the horrifying details, but suffice to say, my roommate came home and found me in the shower, half-naked, attempting to dissolve the wax with the shower head. My...lady parts were stuck together.
Body butter finally did the trick.
So yeah! wax! good times!

Xanthophyllippa

@heyits But how...um. How did you get the body butter out of your ladypart?

plonk

Also, re: bras, does nobody remember the brilliant girl from that one post who keeps bra wash in the shower and takes her bras into the shower with her so she's always got clean bras??

mouthalmighty

@plonk: Seriously. This was the best advice.

Choire

@plonk YES!

I mean it works for swimsuits, right? You come home and pop in the shower in your swimsuit. Why not bra it up that way?

redheaded&crazy

@plonk I remember that AND I am going to start doing it. .... someday. I really really am lazy about washing bras. /don't find it to be highly necessary./am really lazy.

But it's truly a genius suggestion!

atipofthehat

@redheadedandcrazy

The Hairpin shower bus pulls up; women from a bra washing contest come out]
Hairpin lady: Hey, guys. We're going on a national bra washing tour and we're looking for two rack boys who can help soap us up before each competition.

Harry: You are in luck...there's a town about three miles that way. I'm sure you'll find a couple guys there.

Hairpin lady: Okay. thanks.

[she and the other contestants get back in the bus; the bus pulls away]

Lloyd: Do you realize what you've done?! Hey! Wait!

[the bus stops and opens doors for them]

Lloyd: You'll have to excuse my friend. He's a little slow. [points to the other direction] The town is back that way.

DrFeelGood

@atipofthehat YES.

Evamaria

I hardly ever wear bras (small boobs FTW! *g*), but for washing the few I own I got the rinse-and-dry Lingerie Mate off Sockdreams, which suits lazy me just fine... :)

For my Diva Cup (which I've been using for 5 years now - it's yellow but otherwise fine) I use water with a couple of drops of tea tree oil at the beginning and end of each cycle. Is that bad? It seems to work well for me.

(not so) wise owl

I'm seeing all these comments about boiling a DivaCup or putting it in the dishwasher, and it makes me think of what happened to a male friend of mine (and the lessons we maybe could learn from it).

He shares an apartment with two women, one of whom had only recently moved in to replace an old roommate. He came home one day after work to see one of his saucepans on the lit stove, with the lid on. Intrigued to see what his roommate was cooking, he lifted the lid and saw a strange object bouncing around in the boiling water. The only other person in the apartment was the new roommate, and when he confronted her about what the hell she was cooking in his saucepan, she blithely explained, "oh, it's just my DivaCup." (I had to explain it to him via text message).

The moral of this story is that, if your living situation requires you to share a kitchen, be respectful of when and how you clean it.
ONLY BOIL YOUR DIVACUP IN YOUR OWN SAUCEPAN, preferably when you are alone. In fact, maybe get a cheap saucepan from Target for this purpose? And as for washing it in the dishwasher... that's between you and your conscience.

wharrgarbl

@(not so) wise owl vaginas are not going to kill everyone just wash the pot afterward jesus people we should not still be having these conversations after graduating high school.

plonk

@wharrgarbl i mean obvs you generally shouldn't use someone else's stuff without asking them first, but yes, there is no reason to be all "special secret saucepan under the cover of night." 1) there are no actual body fluids involved at that point. 2) the whole point of boiling is that it kills the germs. you don't have to hide a box of tampons from the males who share your bathroom, either.

DorothyMantooth

@(not so) wise owl HA! That is the best. And reminds me of the time in law school when a friend walked in on his roommate soaking his FEET in one of his big pots. Needless to say, we heard about that story a lot!

Nicole Cliffe

I came home early to prepare for a dinner party I was throwing that night, and my husband was using the oven (and my cookie sheets) to bake new ski boot liners for greater pliability. The wafting air of molding plastic did a lot for my roast chicken.

so what?

@(not so) wise owl as person with multiple roommates that i suspect (but have not confirmed) would be eeked out by the thought of a DivaCup -- much less the sight of one bouncing around in saucepan -- i actually do use my own pan and also strategically plan my sterilizing for when i know i'll be the only one home.

i don't know why i go to so much trouble to make sure other people aren't uncomfortable.

SuperGogo

@plonk Something can be completely sanitary and still cause a psychological Squick Factor. This is why environmentalists can't get people to sign on for drinking water that comes from sanitized sewage water, regardless of the fact that it's cleaner/purer than their regular drinking water. I'm not going to pretend that I wouldn't be a little skeeved out if I found out that my spaghetti came from a saucepan that most recently had a Diva Cup bouncing around in it. I'm not trying to shame Diva Cup users--menstural blood is menstural blood and I have to deal with it every 28 days too. But don't try to shame me either for having an ick-reaction to the idea of someone's menstural blood container crossing paths with my food.

plonk

@SuperGogo nah, that's definitely true, i don't blame you. i wouldn't use your saucepans, only mine.

wharrgarbl

@SuperGogo This is roughly on par with having an ick-reaction because you used the same fingers to extract a tampon and eat a sandwich, though. Unless we're rocking a ritual purity complex or consider vaginas just straight up unclean forever, something that has been washed and boiled for five minutes isn't "dirty" just because it once touched a genital. Something that touched the previously-washed object, boiled for five minutes, and then washed again really shouldn't be sending up huge flags for anyone who's okay with pussy in general.

plonk

@wharrgarbl obviously i agree with you, but i also don't think it's that hard to make *small* moves to avoid inducing people's irrational ick factors. buying a specially designated saucepan for yourself and making sure no one ever knows how and where your divacup is boiled is excessive and unnecessary. not going out of your way to tell people about it (like, i don't know, announcing over dinner "i made this spaghetti in the same pot i sterilized my divacup in! how handy!") is easy. and not using other people's stuff without permission is basic. so basically we're all going to be fine!

so what?

@so what? i would like to add that i did not specifically buy a saucepan for this endeavor. i just always use a saucepan that is already mine.

theinvisiblecunt

@wharrgarbl, I like this post because it begins "(not so) wise owl vaginas are not going to kill everyone"

wharrgarbl

@theinvisiblecunt I sincerely hope that wise owl vaginas are not going to kill everyone. Though I sincerely believe that (not so) wise owl vaginas are not going to kill everyone.

Craftastrophies

@plonk I live by myself now, and I still wash the pot twice after I've boiled mine. This is because I am a sloppy dishwasher, mostly.

When I lived with my prude of a sister (eeew! Kissing is GROSS!) I tended to boil it when she wasn't there, just to avoid the conversation. All the saucepans were mine anyway (sigh) but I probably wouldn't use one that didn't belong to me to boil it. Just general courtesy.

On the other hand, I would react STRONGLY to anyone who tried to shame me about it, or had an overt 'gross' reaction that they didn't clearly know was not rational.

DrFeelGood

@DorothyMantooth hehe. This whole thread reminds me of when Kramer lives in his shower and makes a delicious meal for everyone while he's in it.

carolita

@wharrgarbl yeah, what are we, in a chapter of Leviticus, here? Women still can't touch the sacrements in The Church pretty much solely because they menstruate. Because menstruation makes them "unclean." That's the mentality that still makes women think their own vaginas are teeming with things that must be killed in secret. And it's nonsense unless you're super-religious, and even then, it's not clinical unclean, it's a belief. Vaginas are not unclean, *en soi.* They can be messy or dirty at times, but in general they're probably cleaner than your toothbrush. And you put your toothbrush in your mouth three times a day, right? After boiling it, naturally.

christonacracker

YOU GUYS. Remember how we had all these long dicussions about brassieres, and there was the fundamental dilemma of nip party versus weird foam cup ickyness? I HAVE THE SOLUTION! It is a non-padded, sexy mesh plunge bra that has a thin little portion that is SOMEHOW NIP RESISTANT without compromising your natural jiggle. I just bought over $300 of these fuckers. Natori Feathers plunge bra. Go get it.

vodkasaurus

@christonacracker Hairpin, I've never loved you more.

silviesays

I just really fucking wish that Jane was my older sister.

Nicole Cliffe

That would definitely have helped me avoid the time I was fourteen, ghost-pale, and thought "wait, if I just cover my entire face with a really dark foundation, I'll look like I have a tan!"

Jolie Kerr

@silviesays I'm having a terrible MARCIA MARCIA MARCIA moment right now.

Petrichoria

Clean Person Day and Handy Femme Day are my favorite days!!

MrsLlama

I wish they made a perfume that smelled exactly like Woolite, I would wear it ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

Choire

Things I learned about today, in the Wikipedia/Hairpin wicked combo punch: "It takes a few cycles to learn how to efficiently insert and remove the cup, as they create a seal in the vaginal canal."

wharrgarbl

@Choire That seal is also why it is not recommended for use by ladies with IUDs.

Jolie Kerr

@Choire HI PAPA!

mustelid

@wharrgarbl You know, I heard/read/thought that. But when I asked my ob/gyn when she inserted and she said DivaCup/Keeper/anything that sits in the vaginal canal is fine, Instead/anything that sits around the cervix is a no-go.

You just gotta be reallllllly careful and break the seal before you take it out and slide slowly instead of just tuggin' on it.

redheaded&crazy

@mustelid The first few times I ever put mine in, did not break the seal as I was yanking it out and it HURT. SO. MUCH. I was like WAHHHH what are people saying about its so easy and great it can't possibly be this painful every time!

So. Word to the wise y'all.

sarah girl

@wharrgarbl I have an IUD and use a Diva Cup with no issues! The two things I heard from my doctor were a) avoid the Cup for the first month or so that you have your IUD, when you're more prone to expulsion, and b) make absolutely 100% sure you break the seal before removing the cup.

Porn Peddler

I must disagree about bleach on sex toys- bleach is safe in tiny quantities. Hell, peace corps volunteers use bleach to sterilize their water. Isn't diluted bleach (1/15 or 1/20 ratio?) recommended to sterilize baby toys (which no doubt end up in baby's eager mouth)- just dilute and spray lightly? As neurotic as parents can be, I don't think that'd be an option if bleach were dangerous. I would have no problem recommending bleach as part of a sex-toy-cleaning regimen: after washing one's sex toys, spray lightly with super diluted bleach and let them air-dry. Obviously you'd want to give yourself like, a day's buffer between sticking it up your ass again but still! I <3 BLEACHIE TOO MUCH.

Also, it never occurred to me that pyrex would be an awesome material for blown-glass toys. Brilliant!

frigwiggin

@Third Wave Housewife This is pretty late in the game so I don't know if anybody will even be around to comment on this--but I just switched to a new dentist, and one of his recommendations is to rinse your mouth out every couple of days with a diluted bleach solution. He says it's safe and okay and helps disinfect, but that's such a DO NOT DO thing from childhood that I still haven't tried it.

wharrgarbl

@figwiggin What's wrong with listerine?

Porn Peddler

@figwiggin WHAT. PURE MADNESS. I just googled it and apparently diluted bleach is safe as mouth wash but you only use a tiny bit and then proceed to rinse your mouth with clean water for 30 seconds and of course, don't swallow any. I get how the precautions work here but STILL WHAT THE HELL?

Helen Carpenter@facebook

How exactly do I "ask a clean person?" Should I use the main email? I desperately need to de-fog my drinking glasses.

wharrgarbl

@Helen Carpenter@facebook Have you tried rinsing/soaking them in vinegar?

collier

@wharrgarbl : and if that doesn't work, MR CLEAN MAGIC ERASER.

roaringkitten

@Helen Carpenter@facebook toss a cup of white vinegar into your dishwasher. My glasses are so clear now!

Helen Carpenter@facebook

@roaringkitten I will do this! I think the water is really mineral-y or something because it tastes awful.

becky@twitter

please pause for a moment and help me out with this one... STONE? made of stone? OUCH.

Jolie Kerr

@becky@twitter psst... "rock hard" CAN I GET A WITNESS LADIES??

Carrie Cook@twitter

I know this is ask a clean person and all but, what with the bra-talk and all, can I request some kind of bra-centric post? Like, where do I go to get someone to size me properly that didn't cheat off of my test in AP English (aka not Victoria's Secret)? What kind of cut should I even be wearing if Demis make me feel like I'm about to have a Janet Jackson moment and full coverage ones make me feel like my dead grandma Dora? WHAT ARE THESE THINGS HANGING FROM MY CHEST, EVEN?

simone eastbro

@Carrie Cook@twitter the lingerie department at nordstrom will be fine. so would any old-school lingerie shop wherever you live.

Lily Rowan

@Carrie Cook@twitter There were some nice bra/boob posts in the past....maybe you can find them on here as well?

WHICH IS NOT TO SAY THERE ISN'T ROOM FOR MORE TALK ABOUT BRAS AND BOOBS.

DrFeelGood

@Lily Rowan Yea I think we need more breast talk, not less.

bangs
bangs

Cleaning sex toys is one of the reasons i don't have any sex toys. I don't even dust!! I don't need that in my life!!

katekari

Getting the discoloration out of Diva Cup: during the monthly boiling, add baking soda liberally to the water. The silicone will never be like new, I guess, but this gets out like 97% of the discoloration on mine.

Brett Phillipson@facebook

Horrible things I have done with my DivaCup:

Soaked it in vinegar (it was starting to smell weird)
Left it on the stove for too long so that the water in the saucepan evaporated and it got pretty badly burned
Gone an entire cycle without washing it in anything other than soap, and not even boiled it afterwards

And I keep using it, in spite of all of these things. Even the burning. Needless to say, I am not a clean person.

Brett Phillipson@facebook

@Brett Phillipson@facebook Um, I meant "anything other than water" not "anything other than soap". There was no soap involved.

likethestore

@Brett Phillipson@facebook I don't boil mine. Oops.

redheaded&crazy

@Brett Phillipson@facebook Can I just say I HAVE put mine in hydrogen peroxide so why am I not supposed to? it gets it SO CLEAN AND SPARKLY LOOKING! wah wah

sarah girl

@Brett Phillipson@facebook I dropped mine in the toilet while in the process of removing it. In my defense, I was drunk.

Brett Phillipson@facebook

@redheadedandcrazy I don't know! I heard you were supposed to do that too (though granted, it was from people here so idk) and the only reason I never did it is because I'm too cheap to buy hydrogen peroxide. I had vinegar in my house, so I used that anyway. It doesn't seem to have harmed my vag at all.

DrFeelGood

@redheadedandcrazy My guess would be the hydrogen peroxide degrades the material, since hydrogen peroxide is basically a v. mild bleach.

pixieg

@Sarah H. Hey I've done that! (I was also drunk.) Gross five!

ellipsis

@Brett Phillipson@facebook
I had to register to chime in. :) Even after boiling, my Keeper sometimes (okay, often) gets an ick smell. Sooo I've found that letting it hang out in direct sunlight for a few days after I'm done with it does the trick. When I boil it when it's stinky, I end up with a stinky kitchen. Ew.

karion

You know, I honestly thought the entire reason they made Lysol and other types of antibacterial/bleach wipes was for vibrators.

I mean neck massagers.

clutchingpearls

For all of you wondering where @melis is, she has recently undergone crazy lasik surgery that is causing her all kinds of pain when she looks at a computer. Were I more witty I would make some comment involving eye lasers, sex toys, and eye lasers as sex toys, but this must suffice! She misses you all terribly.

Cordially yours,
sister of mallory

SarahP

@clutchingpearls ugh, no fun for her right now, but good for her in the long run--everyone I know who's had lasik surgery was really happy the did it.

melis

@clutchingpearls SIIIISSSSTERRR you're embarrassing meeee

SarahP

Jolie and LW1, you must be mind-readers! I spent an embarrassing amount of time yesterday googling how to hand wash bras because I just discovered that my beloved actually-fits-me-really-well-and-makes-my-boobs-look-great bra has stopped being made, so I need to make it last forever, which I KNOW means no washing machine anymore. THANK YOU.

shenannies

'Whole load of dildoes in the top rack'?!? First of all, who has a dishwasher? I'm no prude, but how many dildoes does one need?
I see Jolie commented 'post-coital kimono shopping'. Kimonos are lovely and I bought one as a gift once down by Mercer Babeland, what a tender memory, thanks for the spur.

fondue with cheddar

@shenannies How many dildoes does one need? Let me put it this way: how many pairs of shoes does one need?

Craftastrophies

I would just like to thank the hairpin, this column, and all the commenters for existing.

Jolie Kerr

@Craftastrophies I would too ;)

Ophelia Tudeaux@facebook

At my house we stick autoclave the cups in a pressure cooker every few months or so. Mainly just because we can.

sharkey

@Ophelia Tudeaux@facebook amazing! of course you did!

gladfanny

Don't know if someone already mentioned this, but I use a hairdryer to mop up hardened candlewax. Aim it right at the stuff and watch it re-liquify, then wipe away. Ta-da!

inbed

i picture the wood sex toys being overly earnest and sort of unfun, like a melissa and doug toy.

ps my friend stumbled a bit changing her diva cup in a public restroom and reported that the resulting spillage resembled "a crime scene."

jill
http://inbedwithmarriedwomen.blogspot.com

Crantastical

I'm late to this discussion because I've been engrossed in reading, papers, and occasionally Target cubed wine all week. Back when I was working pre grad school I bought the Bliss home waxing system (still cheaper than paying someone else). It doesn't require strips to pull the wax off - just grab the corners. It is also BRIGHT blue. Needless to say, a bunch got caught in the pubes I wanted to keep and I ended up looking like Cookie Monster had eaten me out.

lovelopez

I found this article very helpful. I'm currently writing a which sex toy guide for smexy because so many people would like to know which vibrator will do what and how to use one properly. Thank you I Love Sex

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