Tuesday, August 30, 2011


What to Do If You Meet Your Doppelganger

Act fast. Spooky stuff.


49 Comments / Post A Comment


That is EXACTLY what I would do. And then I would steal its shoes.


@punkahontas But what if it took over your life and nobody even noticed that your evil doppelganger parted its hair on the opposite side of its head and you had to spend the rest of your life trapped in the mirror world?


@melis It can't take over my life, because it's getting the kitty-smackdown! AND it won't have shoes.

Also, I am too old to have read the Goosebumps books, so that makes me immune to anything that ever happened in any of them. I can only be affected by stuff that happened in Sweet Valley High.

alice b. tchotchke

@melis Really thought you were going here: http://www.amazon.com/Stranger-My-Face--1982-publication/dp/B003Y1TMJC/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314723585&sr=1-6

and got...probably too excited. But yeah. I mean whatever. RL Stine is cool too.


@alice b. tchotchke
And I thought melis was going here or here.


But punkahontas, there was an evil doppelganger twin in Sweet Valley High!

The cat handled it more practically than the Wakefield twins though.


Oh got I just realized that Ive revealed a raging obsession to the internets.


@Dancersize Orrrrr here. "Look at them shine! Look at them shine! Look at them shine!"


@teaandcakeordeath Oh wow! I didn't read that one! I think once I was in actual high school I stopped reading books about high school.


@teaandcakeordeath I remember that storyline. Which one did she wind up supplanting post-murder? Because I am assuming, based on the way the arc was promoted, that she totally succeeds in her awesome and not-at-all-psycho plan.

Also, they kind of had the same thing going when Jessica coma-brainwashed Elizabeth into being Jessica+ for a book, which is the only known instance of double-doppleganger (trebleganger?) life-swapping in young adult literature. I think the take-away is that you should kill anyone who looks like you and steal their shoes, just in case.


@punkahontas Dear Sister! http://www.amazon.com/Dear-Sister-Sweet-Valley-High/dp/0553276727

It was my fav SVH book because Elizabeth got to act all slutty and out-Jessica Jessica and then Bruce touches her breast!! Alas, she then goes back to being boring old Elizabeth.


Will it be this one HERE? Will it be this one HERE? Which one will you CHOOOOOSE?


@SuperGogo Okay, this one I read! I only know the ones published in the 80s.


You missed out! the twins descended in to a world of such complete madness that it seemed like Francine Pascal was having a secret bet with herself to see if she could get ever more cray cray. Case in point, the evil twin had an evil twin.

@ wharrgarbi

You assume right, there are never any problems at all with taking on someone elses identity. I really dont see why people dont try this more. She even sent creepy secret santa messages for extra psycho points.
Oh god yes - the life swaps never got old! No matter how many times they used that exact same plot line.

@ Supergogo
The touched breast! I think in the book it was so bad that it shocked Liz out of her split personality.


@teaandcakeordeath Did they ever get around to using the doppleganger storyline in which everybody notices but doesn't say anything because the replacer, while still kind of psycho, is so much less horrible than the replacee? I still wonder how the later seasons of Southpark would have shaken out if they'd kept guyliner-and-goatee Cartman.


@alice b. tchotchke A Lois Duncan retrospective is something the Hairpin needs. Something I need. From the Hairpin.


No, but wharrgarbl, I believe it is your destiny to write one!

alice b. tchotchke

@queenofbithynia AGREED. I'd do it if all my copies weren't 1000 miles away in my parent's attic [lame excuse].


@teaandcakeordeath The most frustrating thing about network tv shows and book series like SVH is how unwilling they are to commit to game-changing plotlines. I'm pretty sure if they did a very special Columbine novel, everyone who bought it would somehow be back to life the next time around, or it would all be characters you'd never met before who would occasionally be acknowledged with "It's so sad now that Dean Neverheardofhimowicz isn't on the curling squad anymore. Practice just isn't the same." every third novel.

Alexandra Martell

Was anyone else's takeaway from this "where can I get a balloon like that, and also do they make it in dog?"

young preeezy

@aliemartell Yes! My other takeaway: just another reason to hate cats.

Kerri Mercury Morris@facebook

@aliemartell You can get them at Kroger in Dog. Also Dinosaur.


@aliemartell Yeah my dog would lose his shit, and it would be hilarious.


@aliemartell Yes, and almost. I want to know if they come in tuxedo cat, because that's what mine look like.


@aliemartell I'd like one in pug. Just 'cause.

Alexandra Snider@twitter

This is actually exactly what I did do when I met mine last week. Topical.


When someone told me there was a girl at the wine store that looks just like me, I considered going in with a foam sword and yelling, "There can be only one!" but frankly the police are tired of my Highlander hijinks.


I think this might be kind of twisted, but I would totally try to holler at my doppelganger.


I saw my female doppelganger on OKCupid, but was too freaked out to contact her and now she's not on it anymore. I kept seeing her picture and was like "We don't have that much in common, but there's just something about her....Oh, shit."


You tell it, Bert!


A co-worker just told me last week that he saw mine at a local coffee shop and he had to do a double-take to make sure it wasn't me and I am now totally creeped out. I fear I would not be as brave as this kitty and I would run the other way.


@romastrega I feel like when you meet people who are your "doppelganger" it kinda looks not too unlike the above. There's been a few times I was like, "Her? HER? Hmph...Really? Okay then."


@parallel-lines I know. Suddenly you are "Do I really look like that? Are you sure?" and then you start questioning your own existence and veer into a sci-fi fantasy world where maybe you don't really exist and this is the true you and it all goes terribly wrong.


@romastrega This happened to me in the town I used to live in! My friends would see 'me' places and then one time I saw her in the grocery store standing in the aisle looking at two different boxes of couscous EXACTLY like I would and she could have indeed been me and YES! I ran the other way.


@sox *shudders* That is so creepy. And obviously what I fear.


@sox I had my friends tell me they'd seen 'me' too, she apparently had the same hair (at that time mine was quite distinctive) and top as me, but I had left the country! They joked that I had faked my emigration for tax reasons.
I'm glad I never saw her cos I probably would have been like WHAT HER? and felt like I had to immediately change my whole image and like shave off my eyebrows or something (nonono I would never do that even typing the words made me feel a bit ill).


@rayray There's a guy I see around my neighborhood who looks like one of my guy friends, except the fact that my friend dresses like a bro and this dude dresses to the nines - he looks like he jumped out of GQ. So I began referring to him as "Fancy (friend's name here) - like, "Oh, hey, I saw Fancy You at the farmer's market again." He doesn't like it.


I have the luxury of never having to run in to an ex boyfriend, but I do see a doppleganger of one around town. Actually, the guy lives in my neighborhood, and now I see him everywhere. For a long time, I was actually pretty sure it was him, and it wasn't until I spent about 15 minutes side-eyeing while standing next to him on a train that I realized.
1. If it were him, he would have said something by now, or he could have just run away screaming.
2. This is guy is waaaay too well groomed to be any guy I've ever dated.
3. Maybe it is him? I don't know, I hope not.

Does Axl have a jack?

@yourfriendCamille Ooh. My ex's doppelganger is a security guard at the Target near my house. I was with a couple of friends the first time I saw him, which is good because if I had been alone I probably would have fled immediately and never gone back to that Target.


@armyofskanks As much as I don't have any desire reach out to said ex, I hold no hard feelings for him. I just don't think he could say the same about me, poor guy. If he were anywhere in my vicinity, I think he would be the one fleeing.


LMAO @ the balloon's feet! Also, there are some cool doppelganger threads on the Fortean Times message boards.


Hmm...I am just average enough looking that many people (mostly strangers) have told me I look "just like" someone they know. I certainly hope I never run into one of them and they deflate me....


My grandmother told me that there was a local TV weather girl who looked just like me. I watched the local news with her just to see this woman. SHE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE ME. My own grandmother thinks that the only things that represent looking like me are "black" "big boobs." At least my sister was there to support me on this one.

Also, in the Target parking lot the other day a guy told me that I looked like the woman who worked at his bank, but I think he was hitting on me (which, that's a weird way to hit on someone, right?).


@thebestjasmine That is a weird way to hit on someone, yes.


@wharrgarbl This is what I'm saying, but I was in my car, and he came over and chatted me up. Maybe he meant to hit on his bank teller?


@thebestjasmine One can only hope that he meant to hit on his bank teller, found that you weren't his bank teller, and couldn't find a non-psycho way to finish "So, you look just like my bank teller. Who I've had a huge crush on for forever. I even switched branches when she switched branches, which I took as encouragement because she didn't seem weirded out when I showed up at the new place too. Is that weird? I sounds weird, now that I say it. But you aren't her, and I'm going to sort of weirdly hit on you instead, and desperately wish I could take back everything I just said. Also, I totally don't have a fridge full of freshly eclosed rare butterflies that I'm going to use to make murals of my bank teller's face. Which I also shouldn't have said aloud."

One hopes this because man, who does that?


Does it count if you pick out a REALLY CUTE dress for a wedding, and then go to said wedding, and another girl is also wearing it? I imagine the looks on both of our faces when we realized it was similar to that of the above angry cat.

Judith Slutler

At Girl Scout camp one year when I was like 11, I met this girl who insisted she knew me from another city and that my name was "Makai". For two weeks she was convinced I was lying to her about everything because apparently I looked, acted and sounded exactly like this Makai chick! Eventually the girl theorized that my family had gone into the Witness Protection Program and I wasn't allowed to tell her who I was.

It was kind of horrifying, you guys!

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