Thursday, August 25, 2011


This Just Happened.

Watching Bones, which I am attempting to get into, because, you know, I miss Buffy and never emotionally connected with Angel.

"I can read bones, but I can't read people!" – Bones

You just know that Emily Deschanel delivered that line, slowly drove home, feeling dirty, and then ate an entire pint of Chunky Mint Madness Soy Delicious.

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I can't tell why I keep watching this show. The writing is pretty bad, the characters are mostly infuriating and the continuity makes me sick. And yet I've been downloading a season at a time and watching it at a marathon pace. I feel like most of the cast are too good for this show, but it's balanced out by the cast members for whom this show is too good.

I feel like a dick saying all of that, but I've needed to vent a bit about it.

(full disclosure: I started downloading and watching season 6 last night)


@KaiMcN@twitter david boreanaz is hot. BOOM.


@becky@twitter This has to be the reason. There is really no other one. Although I really like the character of Bones when they don't try to bog her down with "should I have a baby?" thoughts. Just let her be a badass independent woman!


@KaiMcN@twitter uh oh don't watch any further.


Wow. That is almost the exact reason I watch Bones. Sigh.


@redheadedtwit me too!!!


No but seriously, the best part of the entire series is in the third (or second? or fourth?) episode when Angela and Hodgins have an entire conversation that is basically this:

Angela: Our jobs are so boring.
Hodgins: I wish Booth and Brennan would show up with a mystery for us to solve!


Whenever I watch the show I talk to the TV and say "Agent Booth, you'd solve this crime much faster if you took your shirt off." I'm not sure shirtless Booth can quell my wee impotent rage at the developments of the last episode of the latest season, though.


@ladygypsy Yes! WTF is that? Perhaps they didn't realize shark week is later in the summer, and wanted to jump over it sooner?

christina tesoro

oh, angel/DB. he's what made my 12 year old self realize that Sex Is A Thing (in like a non-This Is How Babies Are Made Ew way) and I dont think I've stopped thinking about sex since.

possibly SMG had something to do with that epiphany too? or just the two of them together? And then there was Spike when I was 15 and my whole idea of What (Sexual) Relationships Should Be got really fucked up


@pastina OMG that house breaking sex!


@pastina DB was responsible for my sexual awakening too. Buffy/Angel 4 eva.

christina tesoro

@likethestore i actually doodled buffy & angel 4 eva all over my notebooks in middle school! not like pastina&boytoy, but buffy/angel. living vicariously through TV!!


I like the cringe moments! They make me wonder what it is like to be in a television writers' room and whether there is some sort of terrible line one-upmanship. Bones is great for this...and so was Lie to Me (before it got cancelled).


@Rebecca Based on watching 30 Rock, yes, yes there is.


@Megan Patterson@facebook There is this episode of Grey's Anatomy where a woman persuades her husband to shit in a bowl for her as a testament to their love (?!). It is a dream to have been able to have witness that pitch meeting.


@Rebecca My guess is it was like, 3am the day before shooting, nobody had anything, and they were hopped up on Diet Coke and Skittles.


Every time I watch this I get so annoyed - I know Emily Deschanel is supposed to be adorably quirky but I cannot stand for any more of this quirky bullshit from either Deschanel sister. Zooey, you and your stupid bangs are on notice, too.


@parallel-lines THE COTTON COMMERCIAL.


@sox the fabric of our lives.


I tune in for the Boreanaz but stay for the tedious pseudoscientific details that are, in the very next breath, retold in plain English. Ah-ha, broken tibia, I say to myself even as I wonder why the layman's explanation is required when the two conversants have, respectively, an MD and a PhD in forensic anthropology.


@datalass haha so true! they love the exposition.


I don't have a TV.


Thanks, but I already have a husband.


Congratulations. How wonderful.


I had to stop watching Bones because Boreanaz just became insufferable. You can tell that he really wants to be funny and thinks he is very funny but in fact, he is not. Every episode features him laughing at his own "jokes". And those terrible belt buckles!

Lily Rowan

@katie Not that I am a Boreanaz apologist (except I TOTALLY AM), but I'm pretty sure those are Booth qualities, not Boreanaz ones.


@Lily Rowan I think you're splitting hairs. I have a sneaking suspicion that because he's an executive producer of the show he has a lot of input into his character's characteristics and that Booth is not much different from Boreanaz. (This is coming from someone who had a giant crush on Angel, btw.)


I loved "Angel." That's all.


You guys, just watch Castle instead! Because Bones is now TERRIBLE. You get a different Jossverse alum, but the same witty procedural banter you are craving, plus way more diversity and way better female characters. Castle's mother and daughter own my heart.


@sophia_h Castle has at least one Firefly writer too.

Hot mayonnaise

@sophia_h The babe on that show is a total babe!


@sophia_h Nooooo I HATE HATE HATE that female character. She has no dimensions! Not even two! Zero!! "Oh my mom died and I'm a cop and do I like you? Yes, I don't know, don't ask me! I don't know what I want!" Plus his daughter is insufferable I hate precocious adorable "our father-daughter relationship is so great and healthy!" when really it's weird and awkward and unrealistic.

I have opinions on TV.

Lily Rowan

Castle is awesome. All of the minor characters are full of win -- the family AND the other cops.


One thing I liked about Bones is the recurring character of the Muslim assistant guy - he's a totally normal dude, basically the only fictional non-terrorist Muslim on television, and on a FOX show no less.

Also Hodgins.


@iceberg I also quite enjoy the large dose of atheism, also on FOX no less.


@iceberg, Abed on Community is muslim too!


@theinvisiblecunt - good point, also probably my most favorite show, how did I forget that? Maybe because Abed doesn't spend alllllll his time explaining his beliefs?


heh. I know some physical anthropologists and have done some work at the Smithsonian. When this show came out they all talked about what an ass Kathy Reichs (author) was, and how bad the show is. The worst in my mind, is making the Smithsonian (Jeffersonian or some crap on the show?) look like this freaking awesome place, whereas in reality, SI is sooo fucking broke it's not even funny. :(


@DrFeelGood Similar effect that CSI has had on Crime units - they're also usually waayy under funded and the show makes it look like a walk in a park.

Moon of My Life

the only reason i watch Bones is for The Boreanaz... kinda like how 90% of the reason I watch Castle is for the Firefly references (the other 10% is that it's a pretty decent show!)


you can't be as thin as Emily Deschanel and still eat pints of ice cream, even if it's soy.


@TooCool4School: At some point last season (or the season before) there was some reference to her weight as 140 pounds, and I said out loud to the TV, "Yeah, right."


Am I doing this correctly? Can first-post embarrassment be avoided? No? Ok.
I started watching Bones for similar reasons, basically (although I did sort-of-watched Angel but mostly because of Wesley. Whatever. You can't judge me!) But yeah, wait until the whole "I don't know what that means" thing starts to grate on you. Which will happen right away.

christina tesoro

@Respondona my favorite thing about wesley is that he and willow got married IRL and are making first generation btvs babies. and also he made me cry on angel in season 5.

tiny dancer

@Respondona I love Wesley on Angel. I'm currently biding my time on Angel until Spike comes, which will be soon. I'm almost at season 5. Angel got really annoying for me on Buffy; I preferred her and Spike together. And on Angel DB is still kind of a bid dumb oafish dude to me. So maybe I shouldn't try Bones if DB is never the draw for me?


the first season bones was quirky/cute. eventually they just made it seem like she has aspergers and then it isn't really funny. i like angela, her guy, and the psychiatrist - i miss the banter with zack. also what is up with the product placement?!?!


@saram The car product placement is so ham-fisted! It is like they gave the script to Toyota for the final version before filming.


@graffin i love the car product placement. love love love it.


My wife and I love watching Bones, despite the complete BS factor in everything they do and are.

The only thing that gets me yelling at the TV is Angela's ability to create computer programs and invent unbelievable computer hardware on the fly without any experience. I work as a computer programmer, so the idea of a former artist creating a program that, for example, can digitally reconstruct melted bones using some complex algorithm (that she must be making up) down to the small dings and holes in the bones. Or she can just whip up some holographic Star Wars Death Star schematics looking contraption to display a 3-D image of a person's face!


@graffin: It's like when Data could fix everything on Star Trek: Next Generation with one little tech tweak. My husband and I call it the flux capacitor factor. (I know, I know, different movie...)


@graffin See this is going to reveal just what a Bones-loving dork I am (that and Fringe, oh god, I have the worst taste in TV). Buuuuut....

I think in the episode in the 5th season with the case against the gravedigger it was revealed that Angela also had an advanced degree in computer science. Which, yes, is also sort of crazy as there are very few women scientists and probably even fewer who are super hot hippie-artists.


@MissMushkila okay it won't let me edit but I meant it to say "few women computer scientists", cuz it's still a totally male dominated field, not that women scientists are a rare and endangered species


@MissMushkila: The artistic merit of Bones may be debatable, but your appreciation of Fringe is entirely commendable. It's the best TV show ever!


@graffin Totally agree! I'm sure that the magical falling gold dust around her 3d creations do most of the work for her.

The Lou 83

I thought I was the only person who watches this show! It's a good show to DVR and watch if bored.

If it wasn't for DB i don't think I would watch it.


@The Lou 83 What I have learned from this thread is that everyone secretly watches Bones and we all know it's bad but we all secretly love it soooooo much.

cashmere velvet candy cane

I love Bones, but the only seasons that were actually good are the first two. Brennan has turned into a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CHARACTER. I assume she was abducted by aliens and replaced with an alien who looks like her. This explains why her laugh is so fake all of the sudden and she is so ridiculously goofy.


GUYS. I can't weigh in on Bones talk but consider this as an alternative/supplement: The BBC show LUTHER. I just watched the first episode and it's gooooood crime drama stuff. Hot british accents forever.


@freelee Tell me that this is a crime drama starring a time-traveling Martin Luther, even if you have to lie.


@melis: I would watch the shit out of that show.


@melis No but the movie Luther has Joseph Fiennes as Martin Luther and man that made it difficult to think holy thoughts.


two words: Idris Elba.


@meliz YES! L-O-V-E loved him as Stringer Bell.


Last summer I marathon watched Bones, even though it's terrible. I never watched Buffy, but the X-Files instilled in me a totally unhealthy obsession with Unresolved Sexual Tension. I will watch all the Unresolved Sexual Tension shows. The best was the episode where they have to Science themselves out of being buried alive and I made all my friends getting their PhD's in Science watch it and I squealed at them to tell me if any of the Science was a thing.


@OMGSammiches Yes. Same. (Minus the PhD Science Friends.)


@OMGSammiches Yeah this must be why I watch it as well. I usually watch it while doing dishes so it makes it hard to hear the dialogue.

Now that the tension has been resolved (BUT NOT DEPICTED? WTF?) I think I'll lose interest.


This makes me think of the Stride gum episode of Smallville. The actress playing Chloe had to deliver the line: "maybe next time they won't let the flavor last quite so long" in reference to a closed Stride gum factory. I think she too, went home and showered the yuck off.


This show has some of the WORST writing on television, but everyone is so freaking attractive it just doesn't matter what lame nonsense they're spouting.
A science-y acquaintance describes this show as "a roomful of gorgeous morons making my job look way too easy."


@City_Dater Yes, this! Whenever anyone criticizes this show, I sigh and say, "But their skin. Their skin is...flawless. And their hair so, so shiny."


@City_Dater is it bad that i look to the ladies for appropriate workplace attire? and i don't look like them at all.


Actually registered just to say that all this talk about Booth and Brennan made me stop and tune my TV to TNT and see if Bones was on. Sad? Perhaps, but I too cannot get enough of this show.

Also to note that I have discovered some great songs from this show. Anyone else?


Guys! Oh my god yall! One time! They were filming Bones right outside my work! And we went for coffee! And Emily Deschanel was right on the sidewalk in a chair getting her face did! And David Boreanz was walking around about 5 feet practicing his lines and if I were a less good person I could have fallen down the stairs and landed on him!

I really love living in Los Angeles. Its a dream factory. The end. This subject is cross indexed with the time I followed Neal Patrick Harris around the Tashiki Murakami installation.


This is the first and only show I have had a shameless addiction to. Like, I have an emotional relationship with this show. It will leave a hole in my heart when it inevitably ends, as it must after the ending of last season


Buffy is my favourite show of all time, I am re-watching it now for the millionth time, up to season 4 where Angel spins off so I am watching them alternately. The subsequent comic books are nearly better than the show.

I took a few years to start watching Bones, and quickly became super addicted. I think I like the happy endings - crime solved, everyone go home and have fun. My hubby is convinced that I just watch it because of DB but I just don't think that's it. I think it's the unresolved sexual tension.. which is probably why I also like Castle. It's all just fun pap to fill in the time, really.

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