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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

122

That Gizmodo/OkCupid Story

Have you ever gone on a date with a guy who turned out to be the best in the world at something, and then publicly made fun of him, presumably without his permission? (Although if he did give permission, that raises a couple more questions, and would maybe indicate a semi-sleazy foresight on his part, but who knows.) In any case, he's cute. And he's being mostly magnanimous about it on Twitter.

122 Comments / Post A Comment

DH@twitter

"Hide your kitty daughters!"

I would date him.

Bebe

@DH@twitter He's adorable, funny, and being a total gentleman about this. You *should* date him! Plus, he has a cat!

DH@twitter

@Bebe

I already have a geek dude. But if I didn't, I'd hunt down Jon Finkel and ask for a glimpse of his unthinkable.

Bebe

@DH@twitter So....it's cool with you if I set him up with my cousin, then? Because I totally want to....

DH@twitter

@Bebe

You better get on that...I bet his Twitter is blowing up with ladies right about now.

Bebe

@DH@twitter I think you're right! Although, I just looked at the wiki page and he is 10 years older than her, so I guess it's for the best...I need more single friends.

Jillsy Sloper

@DH@twitter He's answering questions on Reddit right now.
http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/jz3u7/iama_jon_finkel_ask_me_anything/

Anita Ham Sandwich

@DH@twitter
Thanks for posting the link! Those ask me anything features are usually awesome--did you see Ken Jennings?

MissT123

@DH@twitter I think I would too.

rootmarm

I don't care for all her "I'm so cool" and "I'm too good for this" and "I only made an OKCupid profile because I was drunk" posturing. Sure you did.

Beesus

@rootmarm totally. Is wrong that I rolled my eyes back far enough to sever something critical when I hit "made this profile when I was drunk"?

rootmarm

@Beesus nope, and how about how she made sure to mention all the compliments she got from "creeps" ?

angermonkey

@rootmarm That whole article made me want to punch things SO GODDAMNED BAD. And I'm not even sure where to start... Her, Gawker media, maybe OKCupid for god measure...

Britni TheVadgeWig@twitter

This strikes me as incredibly unnecessary and mean-spirited. We all tell our "bad date" stories, but we don't name names on a website that gets thousands of hits per day!

The guy seems nice enough and appears to be taking the high road by not making a big deal out of it. Good for him.

Beesus

OKCupid very often reminds me of a low-grade Eyes Wide Shut. Frankly, in comparison, that dude could lay some magic on me any ol' time. Ya heard.

boyofdestiny

I'm waiting to read the part of the story where she explains how being a Magic world champion is an inherently bad thing. Either it was edited out, or this writer is just fucking terrible.

Lily Rowan

@boyofdestiny I vote the latter.

rootmarm

It's almost like she thought people with nerdy interests wouldn't read an article on Gizmodo!

MrComment

@boyofdestiny Because before she knows it, she'll be sitting at the nerd table in the cafeteria. She'll stop getting the daily calls to coordinate her outfit with the cool girls and the cute running back will never talk to her.

DH@twitter

@rootmarm

Yeah, I mean, it's only a gadget blog.

mabellegueule

@Lily Rowan Seconded...

Daisy Razor

@boyofdestiny Because if she took the time to figure out why it was bad, she would actually have to *think* about Magic: The Gathering, which would infect her with nerd cooties, duh.

lafleur

I am interested in some weird shit, too... in my mind, finding a guy who has a passion that he's fantastic at is a good thing. It's weird, sure, but at least he doesn't work a soulless job he hates.

raised amongst catalogs

@lafleur And his passion doesn't harm anyone!

lafleur

@vanillawaif Yeah someone passionate about stringing up drifters isn't as cool.

laurel

@vanillawaif: Honestly, I'd be more worried about his "hedge fund uniform."

Lily Rowan

And Linda Holmes (of NPR's Monkey See blog) just pointed out the last line of the Australian version of the article. WTF. http://www.gizmodo.com.au/2011/08/my-okcupid-affair-with-a-world-champion-magic-the-gathering-player/

Bebe

@Lily Rowan Geez. That actually makes it sound more like she really liked him, found out he was also dating a co-worker, and decided to reject him and mock his hobby publicly as revenge.

raised amongst catalogs

@Bebe I mean, she did say he "infiltrated" his way into dates with other people on OKCupid, but I don't understand what he did so wrong that rendered him an "infiltrator." I would assume that a person on an online dating site was looking to, you know, DATE people. Maybe he didn't like her coworker and kept looking. Maybe her coworker rejected him, too. But "infiltrated"? Really?

Lily Rowan

@vanillawaif He tricked me into dating him! Via reading and responding to my profile on an online dating site! Without disclosing everything about himself and his hobbies! WATCH OUT LADIES! He could do the same to you!

cuminafterall

@Lily Rowan Okay so I went to the Australian version and clicked on the BTW Gizmodo Australia thinks you're a horrible person article and HOLY self-righteous drunk-judging, Batman!

Bebe

@vanillawaif OMG, at lunch the other day? In the cafeteria? I was sitting at my usual table? You know, like, the cool table? And like this GUY came up? And he looked cute? So I was like, sit with us? And he did? And like he seemed cute and nice? But then he turned out to be, like, a total geek? And I was like, how dare he be cute and nice AND and a geek? So, like, I made the football team beat him up? Like, OMG, you think you can be cute? And totally break into our group? Like, NO, right?

Pound of Salt

@cuminafterall "Any guy will tell you that there’s nothing more unattractive than a drunk girl falling all over the place and having no idea how stupid she looks." And I stopped reading right there.

Lily Rowan

@cuminafterall Yeah, that piece was also....unfortunate.

Ophelia

@vanillawaif In all fairness, he has his own Magic card...and it's the Shadowmage Infiltrator (see the photo at the top of the article)...I'm guessing that's why she's using "infiltrated"?

DH@twitter

@Ophelia

I think you may be assigning too much credit. Then again I'm not inclined to be charitable today, because it's Tuesday. Anyone else hate Tuesdays?

raised amongst catalogs

@Ophelia You make an excellent point. :)

Ophelia

@vanillawaif and just to be clear, I'm still happy to hate on the rest of the article :)

raised amongst catalogs

@Ophelia Although her subtle pun (alleged!) escaped me, I was pretty sure you weren't excusing the rest of it.

Ophelia

@vanillawaif And it is totally possible, per DH@twitter, that I am giving her way too much credit here.

raised amongst catalogs

@DH@twitter Grrrrrrr, Tuesdays.

raised amongst catalogs

@Ophelia Well, if you are it says more about the kind of person you are and less about the kind of person the author may be. Did that make sense? If not, let me rephrase: You = good. Author = maybe not so good.

MollyculeTheory

@cuminafterall Aah I know! "The fact that you don’t know your limits when it comes to alcohol — or that you might have even deliberately got yourself drunk — doesn’t make you look very credible."

YOU MIGHT HAVE EVEN DELIBERATELY GOTTEN YOURSELF DRUNK OH THE HORROR.

rootmarm

@cuminafterall YES. It was not much better than the original article, sadly.

Ophelia

@vanillawaif Aww, thanks.

Gnatalby

Wow. I can't believe that's a dealbreaker for this lady. I would love to go out with a hot nerd who's good at things.

franceschances

@Gnatalby And even if it is a dealbreaker, why the need to tell the world about it?

mabellegueule

Yeah she sounds obnoxious and judgmental. But she just got him SO much play. Pun intended.

Daisy Razor

@illcommunication For real. He needs to send her a gift basket with the card, "Thanks for all the sex I'm having!"

leonstj

My first instinct was, you know...I'm a guy who was a HUGE nerd (D&D, Star Wars books out the ass, the internet when it was all text, etc) growing up, which meant I was shunned by ladies, which spiral into dorky-ness, cheetos, etc, etc. As I got older, and got into art and rock'n'roll, I lost a lot of the taste for 'fantasy' - part of it was a rebellion, from my new 'ironic' stance on the brutal EARNESTNESS which is a trademark of fantasy/sci-fi, and part of it was "Well, chicks like me now" and when you're a teen, that is a MASSIVE motivator (they didn't hook up w me, cuz I still looked like a fat nerd, but at least I could talk to 'em a little).

So, part of me understands a revulsion to Scifi/Fantasy. If you're a teenager.

The other part of me is a fucking adult, and I've always felt like the ideal situation is a partner who is really into SOME of the things you're into, so you have some common ground; who is really into SOME things you're totally not, so you can keep learning from each other and maintain your own personal identities; and the curiosity to keep growing in both of those areas.

Bebe

@leon.saintjean The whole time I was reading that piece, I just kept thinking how much the author reminded me of those girls I hated in high school - the ones who were too cool to care about anything, and if you showed even the slightest glimmer of genuine enthusiasm for ANYTHING (not just geeky things, but anything at all) they would eviscerate you. I always hoped they'd grown out of that, since it seems like such a depressing existence, but I guess they didn't.

claire@twitter

@Bebe @leon.saintjean My boo is a huge nerd who STILL plays D&D, both online (where he's kind of become a big-shot?) and in real life with friends. Sure, I made fun of him at first, but then he introduced me to it, encouraged me to play with him, and now I know our friends better AND have gotten to integrate some of my friends into our group, making for awesome bi-monthly or so hangouts in which we all get to be silly and drink a beer or two and interact with each other on a completely different level than normal. We turn off our internet and our tvs and just, like, use our BRAINS. I know I sound ridiculous but I highly recommend anyone who's even vaguely interested in role-playing games to find a nerdy friend who can turn them on.

Basically, I used to like, BE THIS GIRL and now I am so pro-roleplaying games and so much more satisfied with myself as a person that it is just ridiculous.

Ophelia

@leon.saintjean Did we date in high school? Because if you were the boyfriend who taught me how to play Magic, you were freakin' awesome then, and pretty darn awesome in hindsight.

alice b. tchotchke

@claire@twitter This would make for a 100% better Gizmodo story than dear Alyssa's.

H.E. Ladypants

@leon.saintjean My insanely hot boyfriend is also my GM! The first time we seriously hung out was at PAX!

There are plenty of nerd ladies waiting to jump on the nerd dudes.

Oh, squiggles

Worst part? " infiltrated his way into OKCupid dates with at least two other people I sort of know, including one of my co-workers."

Seriously? Does she know the definition of infiltrate? When someone willing makes an online dating profile, then accepts a date from someone on that site, how has he 'infiltrated' anything?

This is some real old fashioned judgmental bias going on.

Good press for that guy though, he's sure to have a hot geeky girlfriend soon!

raised amongst catalogs

@Awesomely Nonfunctional I didn't see that you had already addressed that choice of words and JUST finished typing something similar. I am similarly flabbergasted. Or wait, am I infiltrated?

Oh, squiggles

@vanillawaif omg, I totally infiltrated you!

Glad I'm not the only one to object to that word choice. As a recent Ask a Queer Chick mentioned, the breakdown of language is the breakdown of society, so...there's just all kinds of wrong going on with the writer of that article.

major disaster

@Awesomely Nonfunctional I'm guessing she probably was going for "insinuate" and confused two similar-sounding, sort-of meaning-adjacent words. (No excuse, of course. If you're a professional writer you should know what words mean. And never mind the fact that I still don't think it's accurate to say he insinuated himself into anything. Not mentioning you're a world champion card player is not deceptive in the way not mentioning you're still married or whatever. And it's not like he hid it forever or coerced her into anything. She found out right away. So she's still the worst.)

boyofdestiny

I was on the fence for a while, but now my mind is made up: girls are awful.

Jolie Kerr

@boyofdestiny Absolutely the worst.

Oh, squiggles

@boyofdestiny *whispers* And they have cooties!

David Buchta

Ridiculous, contrived article. She's acting like she got fleeced into dating a Plushie or something. It's 2011!

boyofdestiny

@David Buchta I'm trying to use context clues to figure out what a plushie is. Unfortunately, this is the type of situation where Google is not your friend.

Lily Rowan

@boyofdestiny It's like a furry only worse?

boyofdestiny

@Lily Rowan Does not compute

David Buchta

@boyofdestiny That's why I like Wikipedia, because you can get a concise, professional overview without any images searing themselves into your consciousness forever. And if Wikipedia doesn't have it Urban Dictionary probably does.

Ham Snadwich

How dare you, nerds! This lady is a *Gawker Media* employee, and is to be afforded the utmost respect for her dedication to journalistic integrity and the craft of writing.

Laura K.

@Ham_Snadwich just got told. Sorry, employees of Gawker Media!

HelloTitty

The next few weeks are going to be very ugly for this girl, she's going to learn her lesson the very hard way. Maybe longer than a few weeks if her future dates take her advice and Google her. Like, hardcore.

discocammata

@HelloTitty Yeah, the Wrath of Nerds is NOT to be taken lightly. 4chan anyone?

area@twitter

I think if you have to post a disclaimer above your article explaining how people should interpret it, you have written a very poor article. ALSO: "Judging people on shallow stuff is human nature!" This is true, but writing self-congratulatory articles about it on the Interwebs was all you, hon.

steve

He just likes Magic, it's not like he put on his robe and wizard hat.

David Buchta

@steve Oh man, you just won this comment thread.

katherine

Commented on this elsewhere, but there are two major worst parts to this. The first is "infiltrate," as has been said. The second is the second date. If Magic's a dealbreaker for you, that's fine. We all have dealbreakers. But apparently it wasn't enough of a dealbreaker to agree to date two just so (at least from the information we get) you can interrogate the dude about his Magic hobby to get more HILARIOUS COLUMN FODDER.

kefuoe

@katherine Agreed! Who is infiltrating whom, exactly? The person who entered into a dating scenario in good faith, or the one who went trawling for a byline?

z(oo)mm

My boyfriend plays magic. His magic bros are in general pretty great (although some are boring, some are creepy, some are assholes - just like everyone else), but they are all smart. I guess my point is, this lady is terrible and my boyfriend is awesome.

themegnapkin

This is soooooo awful, i'm having trouble believing anyone could be this awful. Maybe she lost a bet with this guy, and he's in on it? Because the backlash against this woman and the support for this hot nerd were both so totally foreseeable. I'm sure he's getting inundated with emails now from girls who love hot nerds.

Slapfight

So he's champion of the world at Magic the Gathering, and she's champion of making herself look like an asshole. If anything, I'm sure she'll learn a lesson. I'm not worried about the dude. He's going to have no problem getting dates from here on out.
The article made my skin crawl. Ah foolish youth.

JuiceBox

Also you can turn off your chat function on OKcupid. If you write for Gizmodo, you should know how to change some settings and mitigate sub-literate advances.

JuiceBox

@JuiceBox Unless bragging about sub-literate advances is something you like to do.

MrComment

@JuiceBox Didn't you catch the part where she was drunk. She wasn't reeallly using OKCupid. It just kind of happened to her.

CleverPseudonym

@JuiceBox She infiltrated it.

Decca

@CleverPseudonym She just got inceptioned.

kefuoe

@MrComment Like marriages happen to Briteny Spears

MrComment

"...only to end up sharing goat cheese with a guy who takes you to a one-man show based on Jeffrey Dahmer's life story."

That sounds like a pretty cool date to me.

raised amongst catalogs

@MrComment No shit, right? Is it weird that feel that a guy who would take you to that one-man show is less likely to be a serial killer? It just seems like a serial-killer would do everything possible to keep your mind off of the possibility that he was, in fact, a serial killer.

Bebe

@vanillawaif I have a weird and probably unhealthy obsession with serial killers, based on my philosophy that if you study them, they won't get you - and I totally agree with this. It's like, if someone is spying on you, they're not all like, "Want to watch this spy movie? Doesn't that guy totally remind you of me? Hahaha!"

alice b. tchotchke

@vanillawaif I fully support this logic and hope I am not the only one who kept a running serial killer/not serial killer tally in my head when on online dates.

Lila Fowler

Sorry Matt Gruler, beating your brother at Pokemon cards doesn't count.

Lila Fowler

@fusion Sorry Matt Groark, couldn't be bothered to remember your last name properly.

Porporina

Goat cheese and a serial killer play?! What's not to like?
(not even remotely sarcasm)

joie

@Porporina yeah, that pretty much sounds like a dream date to me. way better than dinner and movie blah blah blah.

heb
heb

So we all agree on this? Does this mean we can stop linking and talking about it?

Nicole Cliffe

I just woke up and read this, and am now super-grouchy. Love you, nerdy guys! Hate you, shallow, exploitative women.

euphoria

aw man, this just reminds me of the time I got totally dumped by a guy because he just "didn't want to date someone so nerdy."

I think everyone's nerdy. just because I read fantasy books and play video games doesn't make me any more nerdy than you being able to take apart and rebuild a dirtbike motor in two hours.

well, he's still the magic the gathering world champion at least.

selkie86

...wait, what? I'm happily dating a nerdy guy (who plays Magic). We met on OkCupid... apparently I'm doing it wrong?

Daisy Razor

@selkie86 I married and procreated with a nerdy guy I met on [long gone dating site]! Guess I totally screwed up!

selkie86

@ Daisy Razor Oh no!

gfrancie

Everything is awful about this woman. Her writing. Her personality. EVERYTHING. She acted like he kept human body parts in his closet as a hobby.
Magic may not be my thing but dang if someone is passionate about something, Rock on.
My husband is a big ol' nerd and half of his appeal when we first met was his enthusiastic interest in all kinds of geeky things. We both have different interests but we can share them with each other and we are supportive of one another.
This lady has much to learn about life and people.

sox
sox

You guys! I have an entirely different theory all together... first, I think she wrote the whole article drunk, and then convinced herself it would be funny later when she was more sober. I think she does everything drunk. I also think she read Edith's profile of Chris Evans and this is her deluded version of trying to be cheeky and cute, which she obviously failed at.

oneneatcat

Maybe she's a master troll and fooling us all with this piece? Trollin in the deep...

Dani

@oneneatcat Yeah I mean to put this up on Gizmodo, of all places, she's got to know what's she's doing. She still comes off like a shallow bitch though.

cosmia

I sort of know the like, number 4th Magic the Gathering player in the world? I don't remember what rank, something ridiculously high. He's kind of a jerk though.

Whitney@twitter

Oh lord, have you guys ever played Magic the Gathering? When Hairpin commenters and reddit agree on something, it's time to leave the internet.

area@twitter

@Whitney@twitter I am tempted to finish setting up my Reddit account so that I can become a founding member of this club.

Lemonnier

Well, she just guaranteed him dozens of dates, and pretty much shot herself in the foot in the same regard.

Two-Headed Girl

Man, I used to be like this girl -- in high school. And now I'm dating a nerdy dude who goes to regular D&D nights with his friends and has epic spreadsheets devoted to his character, and I see how very wrong I was.

I might also be learning how to play? And I've gone to games night and had fun? Basically what I'm getting at is this girl sucks.

friendshipcamel

I'm married to a guy who used to be involved in the role-playing game community. We're talking dressed up in elaborate costumes and playing make-believe for the entire weekend with long, self-written scripts or expensive books that offer scenarios you and your friends can act out. We're talking about renting cabins in the woods to act out zombie apocalypse shit. We're talking about teen guys, pretty old compared to some of the Magic crowd. Ok?

And shit if it isn't nice to be with someone who is in touch with his soft, nerdy side. I mean, what the shit? No, I did not find out that my beloved is an ex-RPGer until after I was madly in love with him, but how in the world is playing tough man dress-up a dealbreaker? Just as, how is playing cards a mortal sin? I used to play dress up and imagine shit when I was a child too. If anything, shouldn't we be encouraging men to be more imaginative and in touch with their creative sides? Isn't that what some of this shit is about? So my guy played dress-up when he was older than when I quit. So the F what. (I'm also calling it that not to be derogatory, just to illustrate my point.)

I have a lot of truly bad date stories, as I'm sure we all do, but what strikes me about this piece is how insanely narrow-minded this woman is being about something so stupidly normal and non-threatening. I mean, what if she'd gone on a date with some kind of actual predator or killer of children? Sheesh.

whimseywisp

@friendshipcamel YES THIS.

itsasatchel

So...there's now an international Gizmodo war that seems to be...about who can be more awful? The original author or the "blokey bloke" dater who never gets drunk.

area@twitter

@itsasatchel Bluh, yeah. Maybe we could just all agree that using stereotypes (about Magic players or DRUNK GIRLS or whatever) just makes you look like an uninformed asshole.

deliosaur

"one person's Magic is another person's fingernail biting..." She's actually comparing a legit interest to nail biting?

whimseywisp

@deliosaur I KNOW RIGHT

cari

I saw that article yesterday and all I could think was, "Guess he dodged that bullet!"

The Secret Sharer

i wonder why she didn't go after the "professionl poker player / black jack wizard who has a book written about him" angle? She didn't notice that when she googled him?

FoxyRoxy

The story this woman wrote is truly baffling. I don't think she understands what a bad date is. The Magic thing is nerdy but I am obsessed with miniature objects and play competitive Scrabble. I shan't be pointing any fingers about the nerdery of others. It seems like...part of the story is missing because everything about her article makes so little sense.

scully

I think everything about this dude is pretty hot and everything she reveals about herself in this article is pretty not. Just shows how clueless and lame she is. She'll probably end up with a bro in a white backwards baseball cap someday.

whimseywisp

I dated a MtG player, and even though it didn't work out, I really enjoyed meeting his other nerdy friends and getting to see into a world I hadn't experienced before. This girl really, really, REALLY pisses me off. If he's the world champion player, he's had to work really hard to get that far. He's probably a really decent guy. He took her out for dinner & a show on the first date! Really, this girl does not deserve him. /angryrant

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