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Thursday, August 18, 2011

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Strawberry Qreamsicles

I currently own two of the three bottles of Qream I have ever seen in person. Is that a bad thing? No. What's a bad thing is that part of me actually likes strawberry Qream. Ahhh who am I? OK, it's not that it tastes good, more that it tastes...nostalgic? In that it tastes either like the Amoxicillin I had to take when I got chronic ear infections or strawberry Nesquik, both of which I loved when I was five. Come to think of it, there may be some correlation there. Anyway, after the last Qream-induced debacle the people spoke for recipes of the strawberry varietal, so it is for you, dear readers, that I gave another $24.99 (plus tax) to Pharrell and his Qrusade.

It turns out there aren't many baked goods to be made with strawberries. Aside from strawberry shortcake I had a hard time coming up with anything, and though I briefly considered making a strawberry rhubarb pie I realized there was no way to add an amusing 'Q' in the title so that was out. Instead, I opted for a qreamy version of my favorite summer treat: strawberry popsicles, the kind with lots of fruit inside. Will my five-year-old self be elated by this mix of strawberry milq and froz-fruit? Or will this experiment ruin my childhood forever?

Strawberry Qreamsicles

2 cups chopped strawberries
3 Tbsp sugar
Juice of one lemon (the recipe called for the juice of half a lemon, but I had a small lemon so I used a whole one. Judge your lemons and adjust the recipe accordingly)
1/2 cup Strawberry Qream

1. In a food processor/blender, combine strawberries, sugar, and lemon juice and puree. Do not taste this mixture, because it will be delicious and you will spend the rest of the time wondering how you got to a point in your life where you're ruining perfectly good recipes with Qream.

2. "Swirl" in Qream, which won't really work because the strawberry puree will be way too thick and the Qream will be way too watery, so in hindsight you could probably have just thrown everything in the food processor.

3. Pour into popsicle molds and let freeze.

PEOPLE. I think we've done it. We, as a society (or I, as a crazy person) have finally discovered what Qream is good for, because these qreamsicles are THE SHIT. They're sweet and tangy and just a little creamy but not enough to overpower how refreshing they are, and maybe I've just gotten used to that Qreamy aftertaste but I really think it enhanced the flavor! Two out of two roommates agree that they're the best thing that's come out of these experiments (though that's not exactly a resounding endorsement). Anyway, if you have Qream you should probably make these. I can verify that there's at least one more bottle out there.

Previously: Qobbler, Ice Qream, and Qupcakes.

Jaya Saxena still has way too much Qream in her apartment.

83 Comments / Post A Comment

thebestjasmine

Ooooh, I want that right now. Even though it's freezing here. Also, is it weird that I was just thinking yesterday that we hadn't heard about Qream lately, and that I was totally excited to see that? That's weird, right?

melis

Amoxicillin. That's what that stuff was. I can't tell you how many years I had the delicious pink stuff we had to keep in the fridge when I had strep throat confused with Pepto Bismol, and how bitterly disappointed I've been every single time I've swigged Pepto, only to find the chalky taste nothing like the sweet, cold beverage of my youth.

In totally unrelated news, does anyone know a good way to get strep throat?

melis

I mean obviously start licking more surfaces, but anything else?

parallel-lines

@melis make out with juiceboxes - it worked for me, twice!

thebestjasmine

@melis Can I tell you something really sad? As a grownup, when you get strep throat, you don't get the delicious pink stuff. Just nasty pills.

melis

@thebestjasmine So you're saying I need to find a child with strep throat whose parents are slightly careless about locking the medicine cabinet?

applestoapples

@melis I found out I'm a strep carrier from my doctor last summer, so I'm available for hire. I also do large events, such as business conferences, wedding receptions, and bar mitzvahs.
(I'll be out of a business soon, though, because I have to get my tonsils removed this fall.)

ismymiddlename

@thebestjasmine Um, not speaking from experience or anything, but you can request the liquid stuff when you drop off your prescription at the pharmacy. You may get weird looks, but... small price to pay?

melis

I would like to thank all of you for your time and expertise.

QuiteAmiable

@applestoapples I'm a strep carrier, too! Perhaps we can tag-team?

thebestjasmine

@ismymiddlename Ooh, this is EXCELLENT to know. Because I was a child who got both ear infections and strep all the time (you get the pink stuff for both), and as an adult I've gotten both a few horrible times.

applestoapples

@QuiteAimable I'm the Mary, you're the Typhoid.

Katiesaurous

@melis Im really ashamed to admit this, but.. When I was a kid, I loved that pink medicine. So much so that, when one of my cats got sick and was prescribed a bottle of antibiotic liquid - to be given with an eye dropper - I would volunteer to give her the dose, as she always ended up spitting/drooling some out onto my hands/arm, and I got to wipe (lick) it up

Katiesaurous

@Katiesaurous I also may have stolen tiny, small, totally inconsequential drops of the medicine from the fridge. But those didnt matter, right?

.. It's so amazing my cat's infection didnt grow and mutate and overtake her body

melis

@Katiesaurous It's equally amazing you didn't catch that infection! I can understand stealing drops from the fridge, but licking up medicine-spiked cat spit? Man, have some self-respect!

Katiesaurous

@melis I WAS ONLY 8!!!! Also yeah.. I may have done quite a lot of shameful things as a child.

melis

@Katiesaurous Oh my GOD, I entirely missed the "as a kid" part. Carry on!

mustasheo

@Katiesaurous Yeah... I tried to convince my mom to let me have one more teaspoon before she dumped it out, while my whole body was puffed up and covered in hives.

Katiesaurous

@mustasheo My mom is severely allergic to the -cilins. SO I GOT IT ALL TO MYSELF!!!!

rootmarm

what about strawberries and Qream scones? With Absolut Wild Tea vodka on the side?

ejcsanfran

@rootmarm: Sqones with qlotted Qream!

PistolPackinMama

@rootmarm @ejcsanfran ew. Just... ew. It's the qlotted part that put me over the edge of ew.

backstagebethy

These sound pretty great and I will hunt down a bottle of Qream tonight.

honeybadger

I actually saw a bottle of Qream at a super divey bar the other night. It was prominently displayed by the register, and was partially empty. That means someone sauntered into that bar, saw the Qream, and ordered a Qream Qocktail. I totally would have ordered one if I wasn't allergic to dairy... damn allergies keeping me away from my Qream dreams.

melis

Okay, here's my question: do people keep/serve Qream at room temperature? Is that part of the whole "virtually lactose-free" thing? You don't have to keep it chilled? Because that rachets the milkshake-wine-amalgamation to a brand new level of good God-ery.

Jaya

@melis You have no idea how disturbed I was when I read the bottle and it said it didn't have to be refrigerated.

Jaya

@honeybadger Next: Qream Qocktail taste test?

likethestore

@melis It's basically alcoholic non-dairy creamer so totally safe to serve at room temperature.

hairspin

@honeybadger
But I thought honeybadger don't care!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg (just in case...)

honeybadger

@likethestore ooh...it IS dairy free? now i am going to have to try it...
@hairspin honeybadger don't give a shit..unless the qream qocktail sends her into anaphylactic shock. then she cares a little bit.

LabRat

@Jaya Even more disturbing: I was recently in a liquor store and I encountered a bottle of chocolate-flavored alcoholic whipped "cream" which I obviously bought immediately. It is specifically supposed to be, I don't know, drank/eaten/used, at room-temperature. And OMIGOD it is so alcoholic.

noodge

@LabRat I've seen those! PA has STUPID liquor laws, so when we go to a NJ liquor store, it's like a heaven that I didn't know existed. And then by the cash register --- ALCOHOLIC WHIPPED CREAM?!?! omg. yes.

Lily Rowan

You don't have to refrigerate Bailey's either, right?

.....RIGHT???

Does Axl have a jack?

@LabRat Omg, I bought that too! So. Awesome.

mustelid

@honeybadger I thought it was 98% lactose free?

honeybadger

@mustelid is it? I didn't want to find out the hard way that it wasnt. its so qreamy looking that I just assumed it was made with dairy deliciousness. but i should have thought about the fact that it's just sitting out on the bar...i think i'm just looking for excuses to not have to drink qream.

Katiesaurous

@LabRat and @teenie Have you been able to use your alcoholic whipped cream for more than, like, a couple hours? Ive had a couple cans of that stuff (different flavors), and each one ends up no longer able to spray after the first night of use. Ive tried 'cleaning' out the aerosol nozzle after use (like you'd do with spray paint, turn upside down and spray til the air comes out clean), and that didnt help. I even emailed the company to ask for tips. But they never replied

posturegirl

@honeybadger I thought it was 95% lactose free? I'm not old enough to purchase an actual Qream bottle to check (lol), but I remember that from the first article. Also, alcoholic whipped cream? So jelly. If they don't have that around in a year and a half I am going to cry (qry?).

honeybadger

@posturegirl yeah, looks like you're right. but i'm going to stick to the excuse that i'm still allergic to 5% of it so that i never ever have to try it.

posturegirl

@honeybadger *laqtose :3

honeybadger

@posturegirl i wish i could give you more than one thumbs up.

Elleohelle

@LabRat I found the raspberry flavor in a shady drugstore in Chicago!!! WOW. It's literally like consuming raspberry Smirnoff Vodka straight up in cream form. It's an experience, for sure.

beatrixkiddo1

This may have been answered in an earlier post, but does anyone know where to get Qream in New York? Esp. Brooklyn?

Jaya

@beatrixkiddo1 The last bottle I saw was here. http://www.grandwl.com/

parallel-lines

This will not stop until we figure out a recipe that contains qream and jello/aspic/some sort of meat.

noodge

@parallel-lines what about Qream Qwiverers - Qream jello shots with alcoholic whipped cream on top?

parallel-lines

@teenie quello shots! Needs glitter incorporated somehow...

punkahontas

If you don't require qream in your popsicles, or if you're too lazy to make these, I can recommend a fantastic strawberry popsicle that you can buy at the grocery store (or fresh direct). I have been addicted to Edy's Whole Fruit Strawberry Popsicles all summer. SOOO GOOOD! And not even that bad for you? But I guess you could like, dip them in qream before each bite, if you had to.

backstagebethy

@punkahontas Those are the best popsicles in the worrrrrld.

fondue with cheddar

@punkahontas Those are fantastic.

punkahontas

@jen325 Seriously! And they keep me from eating things that are much worse for me, like Choco-tacos!

fondue with cheddar

@punkahontas I've actually never had a Choco Taco. I always opt for the Snickers ice cream cone because they're so amazing.

For home, I buy Weight Watchers dark chocolate raspberry ice cream bars. Fucking fantastic.

punkahontas

@jen325 You should really try a choco-taco, just once. I like the Snickers Ice Cream bar, but I've never tried the cone. I wonder if they have them at the deli downstairs.... hm....

The thing about Weight Watchers, is that I can't do the artificial sweeteners, and they all have at least little.

fondue with cheddar

@punkahontas The ice cream bar is good, but the cone is WAY better, not to mention easier to eat.

I have issues with artificial sweeteners too, but the Weight Watchers ice creams are fine for me. You don't taste it at all.

Jolie Kerr

Strawberry Qheeseqake? Strawberry Qompote? (I've got a lot of nerve making suggestions after what I did to poor Jaya the last time.)

laurel

Qream Qestion: Can you taste the alcohol in Qream?

Jaya

@spiralbetty Kind of? It's hidden somewhere behind the gross.

rayray

Speaking as a fellow childhood ear infection sufferer, the amoxicillin comparison is the first thing to make me remotely interested in actually tasting Qream.

Marzipan

You've successfully found Qream in a liquor store?

So I sauntered into a liquor store the other day with the intent of looking for Qream when I thought, "Wait, where do I look for it? Wine, Bourbon, Rum...hmm, where is the "What - Why would you - What even is - I don't even - ?" category?

Katiesaurous

@Marzipan Liqueurs section?

Diana

@Marzipan I found it with the other liqueurs. So check near things like Baileys Irish Cream and Kahlua. If there's a "premium cabinet" check in there (rofl) because sometimes the celebrity-endorsed stuff will be in there.

Hot Doom

Strawberry Sno-Qones?

Also, has anyone tried ice Qream? Jayzus Qrist, that may be the best thing since Soy Delicious for lactose intolerant people...or all people.

Bon Vivant

So, looking at the thumbnail of the qream bottle from the main page, i realized that the damn thing looks like a vulva (from far away)! the glass is the suggestive shape and the majora, the dark design in the center the inner area/minora. AM I INSANE? subliminal lady part marketing??

Artifacts

@Gina Rickicki@facebook I clicked back to the front page, and that is deffo something you can't unsee. A google search denotes Pharrell "sketched it himself", followed by questions why he didn't make a big'ole "phallic bottle"...hmmm...

fondue with cheddar

@Gina Rickicki@facebook I think it looks like a nutsack.

Diana

A few blocks from my house there's this wonderful liquor store that is always playing rap videos and carries literally everything you would ever need to make any kind of cocktail. It's the only place in SF that I've found Godiva chocolate liqueur. It has everything. You could probably find, nestled within the new school Four Loko and the chilled Crane Lake, like, elderflower liqueur and Angostura bitters. I went in a few weeks ago to get some more rum and sure enough, gleaming on the top shelf was Polly Pocket's favorite non-dairy 95%-lactose-free liqueur. I didn't have the strength to try it. It frightens me. You're doing God's work, Jaya.

Alixana

@Diana Of all the things that I need to figure out in preparation for my impending move to SF, the exact location of that liquor store is suddenly the most critical.

Katiesaurous

Sooo.. Does Strawberry Qream taste anything like Tequila Rose? Cuz that's kind of how I imagine it. And I love Tequila Rose (and its pink liquid amoxicillin-ness). So maybe this isnt horrible?

ThisLittlePiggy

Okay, I had SEEN the other Qream articles, and I had not clicked through. "What is Qream?" I thought. (Although I actually pronounced it "queem" in my head.) I assumed it was a vegan dairy substitute, and my being a dairy queen and all (dairy qreen?) I had no interest. BUT NOW I KNOW THE TRUTH. And the truth is hilarious and delicious-sounding.

OMGSammiches

Has anyone found Qream in Chicago yet? I couldn't find it at Binny's- and since I was buying fancy booze for my new fancy lady bar, I didn't really want to ask. I sort of want to molecular gastronomy it.

Alixana

@OMGSammiches My understanding at the Pin-up was that people had unsuccessfully tried various satellite Binny's, but not the mothership near Clark & Belmont. If you didn't see it at that one, there is a pretty comprehensive liquor store in the South Loop that I am planning to check out soonish.

Gnatalby

@OMGSammiches My friend in chicago serves it at the gay bar he works at. It is for the modern queen, so that's relevant to their interests.

Pound of Salt

This is qreay qreay but also sounds really good.

GoCeilings

Pharrell did press with the Australian media this week and his PR specified that no one was allowed to ask him about "alcohol". Why isn't Pharrell proud of Qream??

Alex V. Cook

Strawberry Q-barb pie?

fondue with cheddar

My local liquor store has Qream, and it's way less expensive than the bottle pictured. 18.99! I tried making Strawberry Qreamsicle Qubes in ice cube trays for the Philly meetup last night, but they didn't freeze in time. I know what I'm doing after work today! :)

Hollydoll85

@thebestjasmine I recently had The Worst Sore Throat in the history of the world. My doctor looked at it like he didn't know what it was, declared it tonsillitis AND strep (shocking since I'd had my tonsils out 8 years ago..THEY GREW BACK), and gave me a hug and a prescription for the awesome strawberry liquid. So I guess my advice is to hang out with someone who can regenerate their tonsils?

mbot

Make a strawberry icebox qake!

j-furr

Peaches and Qreamcicles?

Also what about a strawberry Qustard tart? or a strawberry Qlafoutis?

Steve Davis@facebook

Has anyone noticed that the Qream bottle looks like a scrotum?

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