Deep Blue Sea
There is no actual need to watch any of the official Shark Week coverage, in case you were wondering. Because Deep Blue Sea is the greatest and best movie ever made. It’s the Showgirls to Jaws‘…Godfather II?
Why is Deep Blue Sea not just good, but great?
1. The presence of respected Swedish actor Stellan Skarsgård. Somewhere out there, someone is renting Deep Blue Sea because they loved him in Breaking the Waves. That person is about to have a great evening.
2. It’s demeaning to you to assume you don’t know about Samuel L. Jackson’s death scene. We won’t do that.
3. One of the super-intelligent, genetically-modified sharks, whose brain may hold the key to curing Alzheimer’s, tries to cook LL Cool J. In an oven.
4. Absolutely zero continuity in the size of any of the three main sharks.
5. There is a scene in which the hot female British scientist must strip to her underwear in order to defeat one of the sharks. This scene makes a certain amount of sense, and occurs at 0:56 of this compilation reel, for which embedding has been disabled in order to ruin your day and ours.