Beauty Q&A: Sexy in Specs, Skin Picking, and the Secret to All-Day Makeup
I've worn glasses since I was nine years old. I like my glasses, but have never learned how to do eye makeup properly because of them. I've put on eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara a few times over the years but once I put my glasses back on it all just looked wrong and old-ladyish, somehow. Nowadays, I will put on a little mascara, but I usually do nothing. I want to play with color and shading! Is there a way for eye makeup and glasses to look great together?
This is one of the most common questions around here and, luckily, there is an answer! Do whatever Tina Fey does. Copy her whole life! But seriously folks, the first thing to keep in mind is that your glasses are a look already, so you don't have to do a lot to draw attention to your eyes. Now that half the work is done, there are four key elements to nailing a hot eye makeup look behind glasses: groomed brows, a light shadow, fun eyeliner, and bold lashes. You're putting a literal frame around your eyes, and, when done well, eyeliner and mascara can make your eyes look ridonkulously huge and sexy behind glasses, like Michelle Trachtenberg over there. Wearing a complicated or too-colorful shadow combo under specs tends to push the look over the top, so unless you're a pro, don't bother.
First, here's a video that will help you with your brows, the original frames your face came with. Next, after applying some eyeshadow base (my standby is Laura Mercier's Eye Basics in Linen), sweep a light neutral color across your whole lid. I like Stila's eyeshadow in Sun or Smashbox's in Butter. It's your eyeliner that is going to define this look so decide whether you're going for drama — in which case you'll want to do either a liquid liner or a smudged look with black liner on the waterline — or a more natural look that just calls for a little bit of dark eyeshadow smudged into your upper lash line. Here's more on that. Finally, curl your upper lashes and apply an ass-ton of mascara. Like two or three coats on top and one coat on your bottom lashes. My fave is Maybelline Full 'N Soft. Now channel Christina Hendricks and try not to get knocked up immediately.
I am a compulsive skin-picker (see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dermatillomania). When I get blemishes, it's damn near impossible for me to not pick the shit out of them over and over till they bleed and eventually heal and probably scar. I'm 20, so I'm still vaguely acneic, and additionally, I get cold sores on my chin (I know, what even?) that I also tend to irritate. So I have a few questions: What products should I be using to minimize the damage? My current regimen includes Murad's line of acne stuff, plus tea tree oil on healing spots, and the occasional bandaid with Neosporin at night. Is there a way I can expedite healing for my various scabbed-over blemishes besides antibacterial ointment and time? And can we talk about cover-ups/foundations/etc. — ones that work on rough, kinda fucked-up skin? Also scars: How can I prevent them (obviously I should try not to pick, but you know, in the meantime)? I tend to just wear my sores without makeup lately but sometimes I just want to not deal with how the spots look against red lipstick, etc. Also, I just got a real job, so I'm willing to drop a little bit of coin on quality products. Any help would be really appreciated!
Oh boy, I feel you. I used to do this way back when I was your age too. I've gotten a handle on it so that I'm no longer Chicken Poxy 100% of the time, but it is a constant temptation. Let me start by putting bluntly what is happening: You pick at bacterial, and sometimes viral, infections on your face until they bleed and then, because of the compulsion, you move on to the next one without washing your hands and face, thereby spreading the problem around and then you cover the sores with various products that don't fix the problem. It's a never-ending, terribly harmful and painful cycle and it breaks my heart that you are going through this. If I were there I'd remove all the mirrors from your house and duct tape mittens on your hands, probably, but that's because I'm not a medical doctor. And I hesitate to recommend an over-the-counter product or makeup because those are temporary fixes at best, exacerbating the situation at worst. Instead, allow me to give you some assignments for "the meantime" and if you can tough it out, we'll talk makeup and stuff in a few months, OK? Baby steps!
Find a reputable therapist who specializes in treating anxiety disorders and make a commitment to yourself that you'll go as often as they say is needed for you to get a handle on this. Therapy and a dermatologist are where you should spend your new dough, not Sephora. And don't be afraid to try medication if that's what they recommend. Who knows? You could take one tiny pill and be in a whole new world!
Ask your doctor about getting some antibiotics to treat your acne. I had the best luck with generic oral minocycline, but you may prefer a topical antibiotic since they can be applied right to your skin and will feel more like you're actively treating the problem, nahmean?
Start obsessively drinking water. When you find yourself heading toward a mirror, stop and drink a tall glass of water and wait it out for a few minutes. Seriously, just make yourself do that and don't beat yourself up if you still end up picking. At the very least, getting more water in your system is really going to help the condition of your skin. At most, you'll adjust your usual patterns of behavior and possibly pick less.
Once you get a better handle on this, ask for a prescription for Retin-A to start repairing your scars and further help control your acne. Another scar-minimizing but not too too expensive treatment is a TCA peel. Only go to an actual doctor's office for this. I've had one done and it totally got rid of dark spots and made my skin a whole lot smoother. It's a strong peel and noticeable for about five days so try to plan it over a long weekend when you won't have to go in to work. Let me know when you're on the mend and we'll go to Sephora! Oh and also: Getting cold sores in unusual places isn't actually all that unusual. Human bodies, am I right!?
I seem to keep running into one serious problem, which my boyfriend has lovingly termed "raccoon eyes" …yeah. Whenever I wear mascara (or eyeliner, or darkish eyeshadow), I end up with dark rings under my eyes by the end of the work day, where the whatever-the-heck has fallen down throughout the day. And yet other ladies seem to make it though the day flawlessly! What's their secret? How can I avoid the awful raccoon look? Do I just touch my eyes a helluva lot more than normal people?
You might! But I bet that's not the problem. It might be that you're wearing a mascara that tends to flake off, in which case try switching to a higher quality formula. This will involve some trial and error, but that's what Sephora's lax return policy is for. As far as everyone else looking un-raccoon eyed? I'm going to tell you a secret: Many women, including me, reapply our makeup throughout the day and we don't tell anyone we're doing it. We just sneak off to the bathroom with our makeup bags. I don't take all of my makeup off and start from scratch, but I do wipe smudges from my lids and under my eyes, reapply shadow and liner if needed, freshen up foundation where my zits have begun to show, and then re-up my blush. I usually do this around lunch time and then again before my train ride home. Is that where you see me and wonder how I got my makeup to stay put all day? Sucker.
If you're opposed to putting in those man hours, you may want to consider a super-sticky eyeshadow primer that should at least keep your eyeshadow and liner in place a bit longer. Urban Decay's Eyeshadow Primer Potion is like fucking rubber cement or some shit. I kind of hate it but it works. Just beware that it grabs onto pigment in a serious way so start with less shadow than you'd normally use and build to the look you want.
I'm getting a little bored with my hair so I'm thinking about dyeing it. Mostly, I haven't done this yet because it's expensive and also because I can barely handle getting regular haircuts, much less getting my roots touched up or whatever. I'm mostly over those things, but there's one other thing that's stopping me: my hair is very fine and very blonde. I've heard all these urban legends or whatever about women with blonde hair dyeing it and it, like, changes color permanently and is never the same, and that would make me SO SAD. Is this a real thing?
No, dyeing your hair and it permanently changing color is not a real thing. Dyeing blonde hair at home and having it turn out not exactly as the box indicated IS a very real thing, however. I don't know the science of it, but some blonde hair grabs pigment in a weird way and you can end up with an unintended or uneven color, even if you go for a high-end dye. This is especially true if your blonde is the result of highlighting or previous dye jobs. The only way to be sure to avoid this is to see a pro and let them do the first round of color. They may need to use what's called a "filler" on your hair. Filler re-pigments your hair and preps it so that it grabs color evenly. After that, since you'll just be touching up the roots, you may be able to get away with doing it at home every-other time. Just ask your stylist what they'd suggest if you really can't afford the time and money to always go back to the salon. Be honest, you know? Just say, straight-up, "I'm sorry I cannot afford to come back here every 6-8 weeks but I don't want to do something that makes your job, every four months or so, a total pain in the ass because you're forced to correct my mistakes. Is there a product I can use in the in-between times that'll let me eke out another month or two of your amazing work?" They may suggest you go for a temporary color like Clairol's Jazzing, or one of those lipstick-looking things that seem totally grody, or they might trust you to use a permanent product like Root Touch-Up, or they may tell you to go fuck yourself, which is not very nice but it is a possibility!
And finally, some homework for everyone:
Ladies, let's all get teasing combs! Like this one or this one or this metal one that my bestie's mom has been using to magical, gravity-defying effect for decades. I'll show you some cra-mazing things to do with it in the next video, but you have to give me a minute because in a few days I'm packing up all of my belongings and driving across this great land to resettle in Los Angeles, California!
Previously: Longline Bras, Feminine Style, and Blackheads.
Jane Marie produces the radio program "This American Life," and no one pays her to say any of this. Do you have a question for Jane?
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I use the "Stay, Don't Stray" eye primer from Benefit, & I apply it on my lids as well as under my eyes a bit & where my eyes meet my nose, so I kind of use it as a primer AND a concealer. It was like $30, but it has lasted me over 6 months & has changed my life. No more smudgy eyeliner (for the most part)! I think e.l.f. makes a super cheap one that is supposed to be just as good (I just ordered it) & could be a great place to start.
@one cow. I use it as a concealer too! I kind of hate it as an eyeshadow primer though, it makes my lids look all greasy and creased.
@one cow. I use the e.l.f. primer – I can't compare it to anything else since it's the only primer I've ever used, but I can say it definitely keep my eyeshadow on longer and beefs up the pigments in my cheap shadows a bit.
There doesn't seem to be a ton in the bottle, but it's only a buck and I generally only use it for special occasions anyway.
@one cow. if you have oily lids, E.l.f is not the way to go
… UDPP is the only savior for my oily self
@one cow. I am sooo into e.l.f. and cheap alternatives in general, but the one thing from them that hasn't worked for me is their primer. Compared to UDPP, the Benefit one you mentioned, and some Smashbox one I have(can't remember the name, sorry), it just fails. Doesn't work for me at all.
@one cow. That shit is the best. I respect that a majority of people LOVE Urban Decay's Primer Potion and I love everything else Urban Decay makes, but I kind of hate the primer potion.
And, yes, I totally use my Stay, Don't Stray as undereye concealer.
Lady #1, I have the same issue! The half-boyfriend was telling me the other day how I should wear bright colored eyeshadow, and I said "Dude, why? My eyes are behind my glasses". Thank you for the tips, Jane!
Jane! You're coming to California! Yay, that's very exciting, welcome.
Also, raccoon eyes girl, you may need better eyeliner and mascara. Get some of the non smudging stuff and don't line underneath your eyes (stop, Kate Middleton, stop stop). I worship the Bobbi Brown gel eyeliners (though they're expensive and I often leave the top off and dry them out and it makes me sad), and Blinc mascara is the best for this and doesn't smudge at all.
And those little makeup remover pads from ELF are awesome for mid day raccoon eye removal.
@thebestjasmine Yes! No liner or mascara under the eyes! I use a little bit of high end dark brown eyeshadow (Estee Lauder – just a tiny wee bit) under my eyes now, instead of liner, and I don't get raccoon eyes no more. But also get a better mascara – Clinique is good.
@thebestjasmine Blinc liner is really good too! It is even supposed to stay on through sweating and crying! I haven't done much of either while wearing it yet, but I did have a 5pm happy hour companion ask me if I just put on eyeliner or if it had magically lasted all day!
@martini I only found out that Blinc liner existed recently, and now I really want some.
Oh god, I used to have this problem SO much. 1) as mentioned, better mascara. Doesn't necessarily have to be waterproof, if you don't like those (I don't). I was in LOVE with Chanel Extracils, which of course is now discontinued. Benefit "They're Real" is a good one to try.
2) Dior Waterproof eyeliner pencil. Amazing. They used to have a fab metallic silver which I wore daily under eyes and it never budged – yep, they stopped making that too. Urban Decay 24/7 liner pencils are allllmost as good, but not quite…ditto Shu Uemura.
3) After mascara, lightly coat underside of lashes with Benefit She-Laq (if you can get your hands on some, THEY STOPPED MAKING IT, ARGH) or similar. It's also great over eyeliner, just not over your entire lid – crunchy, ew.
@thebestjasmine I got the Blinc liquid liner in my August Birchbox (heyy!) and I was so sad about how easily it came off! Don't get me wrong, it stayed on pretty nicely, but they claim that it only comes off with the combination of water + pressure, when really you can just rub it off without any water/much effort.
@thebestjasmine @contrary Same! I was SO excited and ready for the Blinc life change, but mine kind of cracked off at the end of the day. It stayed on really well until the end, then I spent like 10 minutes trying scrub off the tiny pieces. It was fine, just not how I thought it was going to go down.
@contrary @doomfordarlings I only discovered that there was such a thing as Blinc liner because I saw it on the Birchbox site, but it wasn't in my box! I'm wondering if something about my settings told them that I wouldn't want it (I did I did). But you know, that doesn't surprise me — the only thing that I don't like about Blinc mascara is that when I go swimming it immediately all comes off into my swim goggles, which is annoying and makes it hard to see. (No, I don't put mascara on to exercise, I usually swim at the end of the day, so that days mascara is still on).
@thebestjasmine What else did you get in your box? I was the only one to get the Blinc liner out of the people I know who subscribe, but they all got other super cool stuff I'm a bit jealous of. I just got the liner, some face wash, some eye pads, and a stupid hairtie. :/
@martini I got: a Zoya nail polish that I already love and have on now; some exfoliating powder stuff that you mix with water and then use (a little confusing, I don't quite get the point); some shampoo and conditioner that I haven't used yet; some Caudalie eye cream that is fine and all, but I'm convinced now that there's no difference between any kind of eye cream so I just use whatever free samples I get when I get them, and don't when I don't get them. I'm jealous of your liner and your eye pads!
@thebestjasmine : Oooh, is the exfoliating powder Dermalogica Daily Microfoliant? Because that stuff is AWESOME. (It's a chemical exfoliant, not a grit-based physical one – wetting your hands and then rubbing it between palms to mix is what "activiates" it.)
@thebestjasmine @martini Not sure about you, but the eye pads actually worked amazingly well for me! Pale girls' new (expensive) best friend! The face wash made me gag a little (smell), and what in the world, with the hair tie?
@doomfordarlings UGH, THE HAIR TIE. Glad the eye pads are nice, though! What's been your favorite birchbox item so far? The first month I got some crazy night cream that was like $155 in the fullsize and it was the best, except also $155 so I obviously didn't buy it after it ran out. (Also, those Stripper To Go nailpolish remover things were amazing for the time I tried to wear the weird, beige Zoya nailpolish)
@martini I second the nailpolish remover! I really like the eye pads, but I think my all-time favorite was the Sircuit Moisturizing spray. Smelled great, seemed to work.
I've been through tons of mascaras because of the flaking/raccoon eye problem (contact lens don't help) and the best I've found thus far is fiberwig for length topped by clinique high impact waterproof – gives both length and body. The Clinique one is awesome and really affordably priced, especially compared to Diorshow (which gave me panda eyes) and great for contacts.
@parallel-lines Try Blinc (which I recommended just above). I also wear contacts, and it is the best one for no flaking. I had given up mascara for a while because of eye irritation because of my contacts (which was very sad, I have short stubby lashes), and now I can wear it because of Blinc.
@parallel-lines : Oh man, DiorShow – I have some of that, and haaaate it. The formula is passable, but it's really smudgy and the brush is like, SHIT, I could curl my bangs with that beast.
@parallel-lines L'Oreal Voluminous Million Lash got me through a 6 hour wedding/reception in 40-degree-Celcius heat, then sexy-times right after, and ALSO through a 5-hour white water rafting excursion. No flakies, no smudgies, still really curly-separatey lashes. Cannot say enough.
@parallel-lines I have DiorShow and LOVE IT, but I discovered that the secret is to run the brush under some warm water before applying. It de-chunks the brush and lets the mascara go on much much smoother, otherwise it's way too thick and globby. Plus a moist brush will keep your whole mascara from drying out before its time, aka Premature Expensive Mascara Death.
@parallel-lines I was all over Blinc the last time this came up, but I just switched to Clinique's tube mascara (Lash Power long wearing) and I love it much more! Easier to apply, and makes my lashes look better. It doesn't come off quite as neatly as Blinc, though — it rubs off in little balls instead of coming off in spider leg tubes — but it's the same tube concept. $14 at Sephora, albeit for a smallish tube.
As another fine/blonde haired lady, I agree. Go to the pros first, lest you attempt a shade of red and end up with something that can best be described as "sad orange." A pro will also help you find the right tone and answer any other questions you might have about dyeing your hair.
For the mascara person: Clinique makes a primer that you can put on right before your mascara, and it helps with the raccoon situation. Lancome Definicils is also the biz, but it's a bit pricey. Maybelline Full & Soft is a good drugstore option, but you may want to use the primer firs, especially if you're using the regular version (I don't use the waterproof version because waterproof mascara rips my lashes out, and, on me at least, tends to flake more, so YMMV there).
A comment about minocycline from an insane person (me!): if you get this, always swallow the pills with water! Do not try to swallow them dry, like me! Because then they will dissolve partway down your throat rather than in your stomach — and as a fun side effect, dissolve your esophagus — and you will end up with a wodge of esophagus that is just flapping away in there and which you can actually feel! You do not want this.
@agba That's very disturbing. This actually happened to you? If so, I'm sorry; I can't imagine how gross that feels.
@agba this happened to me. Nothing like a yeast infection in your esophogus to make for fun times
@jen325 It is indeed very gross! Fortunately it heals itself once you start taking pills as they were meant to be taken.
@parallel-lines You poor thing! That sounds absolutely horrible. These things are going to haunt my nightmares tonight.
@jen325 I don't think I will ever take any pill without water EVER again.
@agba I didn't even know you could take pills without water! But I'm an unusually thirsty person.
@agba ditto for doxycycline. When I was a kid my dad was a US-based physician for overseas workers (alright, missionaries) and knew of some pretty serious medical cases from people not taking antibiotics (maybe just tetracycline type stuff?) without enough water.
@punkahontas AAHH! And you never should have! Aspirin, taken without water, will basically hang out in your esophagus and burn a hole into it. No joke, happened to a co-worker. Neverrrr swallow pills without water.
@punkahontas I always drink water with pills, because even WITH water they often get stuck halfway down. This thread is very disturbing.
OMG! I am a compulsive skin-picker too! I just started treatment about two months ago. I agree therapy is the way to go…I had no idea that I was just a walking ball of anxiety!
Also, I know avoiding mirrors can help some…but I did/do most of my picking without one and on whatever skin was exposed. I'm taking an SSRI now and seeing a therapist on a weekly basis.
@MeganToTheMax having the courage to get help for issues is admirable. good for you!
@MeganToTheMax way to go, megan!
Does picking at zits really mean you have an anxiety disorder??? Because I may need to be way more worried about my brain!
@melis Dermatillomania is a pretty complex issue. First you have to determine if it’s a pain over pain type of issue (such as cutting) or if it’s an impulse control disorder. Personally, I got to a point where I could no longer function (especially at work). I picked all day every day. I lost hours of my life in front of the mirror. I definitely think it’s more common than we think because most people try to keep it a secret…
@MeganToTheMax Congrats on your progress, Megan! I'm struggling with this too, hard, but am finding some relief with anti-anxiety meds. And at home, I wear finger cots (like rubbers for your fingers). Looks ridiculous but so do all these damn sores. Anyway, good luck going forward!
@MeganToTheMax congrats on your progress! therapy is truly the way to go. in my teens i had trichotillomania (hair pulling/picking) and gave myself a lovely (not) bald spot, which is not something any girl wants to deal with. i was already in therapy already, but addressing it with my therapist really helped.
@melis Like said above, it can depend on what's causing you to pick. If you're just like "whoa my face is nasty" and picking, then maybe not… but for example, I am only finally getting out of the habit of methodically picking at my face for my entire drive home from work. It somehow became my way to relieve after-work anxiety, then I'd arrive home and look in the mirror and be so mad at myself >:(
@MeganToTheMax Glad you made it to therapy, I've yet to take that step. Is getting off on the tension/relief a sign of anxiety? I'm more of a hair puller than a skin picker but it's an obnoxious little compulsion.
Eyeshadow primer is my Lord and Savior. I LOVE the Urban Decay primer, but also I had really good luck with the Bare Escentuals primer and it also happens to be reasonably priced.
And regarding mascara: Cover Girl Lash Blast, the one in the orange tube. Get it. Marry it. Have its babies. I use the waterproof kind because I tend to leak, and I love it so. And look, a thousand teenage makeup vloggers on YouTube can't be wrong!
Someone PLEASE tell me what brand/model of glasses Michelle Trachtenberg is wearing up there because I think I need them.
In re the answer to Q#2: I really think Jane might be the best person in the world.
@Jolie Kerr no, YOU!
@Jane Marie No, really. I got teary-eyed when I read therapy as your first suggestion. something that really can help
Oh, Lady #2, I feel your pain. I have a similar problem and it's a rough cycle to be stuck in! I use Almay Clear Complexion concealer on my spots, after trying quite a number of things. This one has a yellow-y tinge to it, which helps to cover up the purple/red marks from skin that's been squeezed too much.
LW4: Same problem, blonde hair. The only colour I didn't have problems with was black (which I liked but a lot of people (especially gramma) hated.) Even the bluish black or reddish black went weird. And for some reason full on red made my roots look green. I eventually just grew it all out because it was too much work.
all the ladies with glasses: don't be freaked out about eye makeup! do what you would do if you were wearing contacts or got lasik or whatever. i've been wearing glasses since 2nd grade and rocking kind of out of control eye makeup since like 8th grade and its great. Just remember to wait for your many coats of mascara to dry before you put your glasses back on.
You know that line from the very beginning of Singin' in the Rain when the two girls in the front row at the movie theater look at Lina Lamont and sigh, "she's so refined … I think I'll kill myself."
THAT is what I feel like whenever I see Christina Hendricks. Like, jesus, Christina, I love you, but leave some for the rest of us!
@gimlet hahaha i think of that line EVERY time i see a jane video! and christina hendricks, yes.
LW#2-Liquid Bandage > bandaid & Neosporin for fast healing.
ah, the cold sore. can we just call a sore a sore (if you will) and acknowledge that it's herpes? you can get it anywhere–my grandma had it on her back, if you please. (yes, my grandma!) dermatological viruses: let's get educated!
@Lucia Martinez I get sores kind of between my nose and top lip, in varying stages of spread and swollenness (and grossness). My derm just basically boiled it down to being a virus and therefore forever part of you – as in, you can't ever totally kill it off.
I have had tremendous success with taking 1500 mg of Lysine a day, and did a whole regimen of echinacea and an herbal liver tonic (just drops you put in water and drink)for three months in addition to the Lysine. Also, chocolate and nuts (mostly peanuts) have an amino acid in them that the virus thrives on, so avoiding these helps too. Anyway, I've only had one breakout in the past 15 months and it was during finals week right after a cold and when the bf decided to take a break, so it wasn't too surprising. As a backup I keep a filled script for cyclovir (the antiherpes stuff) from my derm and if it seems like it's gonna happen I take it immediately – which made the breakout this spring a thousand times less severe.
…not obsessed with my skin virus or anything! I swear!
@sox: Does anyone know if there is tea tree oil or something in the Burt's Bees peppermint lip balm? Because holy heck, whenever I start getting a cold sore I just put Burts Bees on it a few times a day and it is GONE within like 12 hours.
@Lucia Martinez: In general, I don't think that people to trying to cover up the Awful Herpetic Truth when they refer to herpes simplex lesions as "cold sores". It's just a way to refer to them, especially since people tend to get them when they HAVE a cold or flu. I call mine "face herpes" out of black humor, but what's wrong with calling them cold sores?
@Coatlicue eh, I don't think it's a cover up kind of thing (concealer joke? anyone?), it's that a lot of people really don't know that they're the same thing. hence "education" and not, I dunno, liberation. I've always been surprised by how many people, especially teenagers and college kids, talk about/stigmatize ladies by talking about "the herp" without realizing that the cold sores on their lips are, you know, That Dreaded Thing That Sluts Get.
60-75% of women have herpes antibodies by the age of 35. (CDC site, wassup.) it's easily spread–cheek kissing! my god!–to people of all ages, sexes, genders, and chastity levels, for most of whom it's mercifully asymptomatic. and guess what: you don't get screened for it at your annual/STD test unless you specifically ask to have bloodwork done, so most people just assume that if they're "clean," they're clean. given all this, the stigma attached to it never ceases to amaze me.
so yeah, education.
@Emmanuelle Cunt I've had similar results with Carmex.
@Lucia Martinez Seconding this, it definitely seems like a lot of people have no idea that cold sores are herpes. And it's important that it be more widely recognized especially since it's totally possible to to get genital herpes from "cold sores." Or I guess people could just be like "Oh that's not herpes it's just vagina cold sores, don't worry about that shit."
@theharpoon "vagina cold sores" made me lol
@Lucia Martinez I don't know if anyone is still reading all these comments but i feel like someone should mention, for clarity's sake, that technically, the virus that usually causes cold sores (herpes simplex-1) *ISN'T* the exact same virus that usually causes genital herpes sores (HSV-2) although it is possible to get one of the types on the opposite area than the one it normally prefers … HSV-1 IS very very common but that doesn't mean that it's somehow related to what someone (or someone who got it from someone else) did or didn't do down there. It prefers mouths and usually only spreads from mouth to mouth, or Sprite bottle to mouth, fourth-grader's Lip Smacker to mouth, whatev. Yes, they're both from the "herpes" family but they aren't exactly interchangeable. "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV," so here's more from (yes) the CDC: http://www.cdcnpin.org/scripts/std/std.asp#1d (Bonus! That site also contains awesome photos of other STIs! Good times!)
For raccoon eyes – somehow this began afflicting me about two years ago. I don't know how, because my face isn't overly oily and I didn't really change any skin products either. I started learning the correct amount of sunscreen for your face though – maybe that had something to do with it. ANYWAY, after trying various formulas of waterproof mascara and pencil liner and still having it smudge all day, I finally discovered a "cure" that works for me. First, ditch the waterproof mascara (which I foolishly thought would stick on the best) and look for a "tubey" mascara. L'Oreal makes one that's cheap and works well. I forget the name but it's in a red tube with two ends – a "primer" end and then the regular "mascara" end. The primer end has a white handle. I'm sure it doesn't say the word "tubey" on the package anywhere but I believe there's some graphic on the packaging, maybe on the back, that shows how the mascara will stick on you in tubes. Anyway, that stuff works awesome but I got tired of having to do two steps, so I switched to Clinique's High Impact Curling Mascara which is also tubey, but is only one step. Neither of these products have ever smudged or flaked on me, although they do seem to take a bit longer to dry than normal mascaras.
Second, I sadly had to give up my pencil liners and switch over exclusively to liquid liners. I have yet to have a liquid liner melt on me yet (but if it melts on you, maybe try a waterproof version for extra stick-to-you-ness?). I miss my pencil liners because they are smudgey and hot and I could line my bottom rim for extra sexiness, but every three or four months I try to use one for a day thinking maybe it will magically work this time, and within an hour it's all melting down my face already. So I can't even try anymore. Sigh.
@KeLynn I *love* the L'Oreal tubes mascara. It doesn't flake or smudge at all, and it comes off so easily (you just wash your face and it slides off in strips– no scrubbing with eye makeup remover necessary). Is the Clinique one as easy to get off your eyes?
Also, for those who might be new to liquid liner, Wet 'n Wild and e.l.f. actually make decent, subtle ones that come in brown and purple (subtle purple, I swear) and will only set you back like $3. FYI: the teal color? not so subtle.
@mirrored_lens Yep, the Clinique one is just as easy!
@KeLynn YES!!! I use the same mascara. For me, it wasn't a matter of quality — I tried them all, from Cover Girl Great Lash to DiorShow Waterproof, and everything else gives me terrible raccoon eyes. My eye doctor said that she thinks it's because my tears are naturally a bit oilier than usual, and it makes even the waterproof stuff run. But tubing mascara is the BOMB! I have used ones from Fiberwig, Lorac, and Clinique and have had great results with all of them. They never run (even while swimming), and I never have to reapply. They literally changed my life.
Oh god I know what it feels like to want to constantly pick at gross pimples. Honestly, going to the dermatologist and getting some prescription meds is your best bet, because once you start attacking your face with dirty fingers you're sadly fucked until medical help intervenes. I'm on clindamycin and differin now and it helped A TON.
I put Urban Decay primer even under my eye pencil. I love it forever. But it is a pain in the ass if you want a thin wash of eyeshadow rather than POW brightness.
@agba It took me a solid 3 re-reads to realize that you weren't talking about prisoners of war.
@one cow. POWs need budgeproof eyeliner too!
Also, as for eyeshadow primer: there's an online-only indie makeup company called Fyrinnae, they're kind of this cult favorite and they make something called Pixie Epoxy that is MAGIC. PURE MAGIC. You only have to use a teeny tiny glob (you really do, otherwise your eyeshadow will look gross and clumpy) and it stays put for hours. I've gone swimming with Pixie Epoxy on. I've had sex with Pixie Epoxy on. THAT SHIT WILL NOT BUDGE. Also it's like $3 for a sample pot and it took me a year of several times per week usage to use it all up.
@cosmia: Fyrinnae closed abruptly a week ago!
@karion Nooo! I knew the website had been having some downtime lately but I didn't expect that
@karion Wait no, I just read that they'll be back!
Does anyone know if Mederma will help with dark spots left from acne? Or is just to minimize the "swelling" of scars?
@bridgerrr Hi, hello. My boss, a plastic surgeon, says it doesn't do ANYTHING, period. Topical vitamin C serum (like Obagi's) can help with post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation over time. If you're dry, use the 10% C serum. Oily skin can take the 20% formulation. Also, some kind of retinol will help you, but (like the serum) it's gradual. If you're kind of crunchy-granola, you can try what I'm currently trying: a paste made from buttermilk and nutmeg. I imagine that would be even more gradual than medical grade skin care like the serum or retinol, but way less harsh.
@vanillawaif yeah, mederma is pretty much junk.
@bridgerrr try silicone patches at night
@bridgerrr Part 2: I forgot to give credit to Crunchy Betty's blog for the nutmeg/buttermilk tip. She also had good things to say about tamanu oil. Say it with me: TAMANU!
@vanillawaif Find a facial serum that contains helichrysm. It's a plant based essential oil that is serious magic. I had a scar removed from my forehead two years ago and used a product called Scar Oil that contains it and you couldn't see the mark unless you really knew it was there in a matter of months. Also have used it on other cuts n scrapes and around my eyes/ mouth at night and it's pure awesome.
http://www.rebeccasherbs.com/product_bath_body.html#blends (all the way at the bottom.)
@sox Also, I had a mole removed from my forehead. Not a scar. What?
@sox Okay, I need to find this stuff, because I've been doing everything to make my surgery scar look less ugly, and nothing has worked so far.
@thebestjasmine your surgeon didn't tell you to get this
?
@Lucia Martinez NO. I can't believe I had no idea that that existed. I wish I knew that 7 months ago, I would have been putting those things on immediately, because I scar badly as it is, and this scar is even worse than usual. My surgeon told me to get Mederma, which hasn't worked at all (and I'm glad to see that it's not just me, and also glad that I didn't have to pay the outrageous price for it, but still).
@thebestjasmine my girlfriend just had a mole removed and her derm told her to get a sheet–they last for months, you just use one over and over–and it's already started blurring the scar. it's cray.
@Lucia Martinez WOW. I am totally blown away by this information. I just spent a while looking at all of my random scars (nothing from anything worrisome or mostly even interesting, I just scar really easily) and being amazed that something can help them go away. And man, my 2 inch long surgery scar really needs this. Thank you!
@Lucia Martinez Isn't pigmentation from acne different than regular scarring? I mean in terms of treating it? That's what I understood from my research, at least. But god knows I'd love to find a way to get rid of my pigmentation, and if silicone patches work I'm all over it.
@tee old acne scars/surface ones, yes, but if you're like me and have red ones, esp from cysts, this is awesome.
the best thing for acne scars is a 4% hydroquinone cream, but that's prescription only. you can get weaker ones over the counter, though.
Okay I'm spamming the shit out of this page right now, but re: higher quality mascara = less flaking, what the fuck is up with Diorshow? It's the most expensive mascara I've ever used and it makes my eyelashes look fantastic for about half an hour, after which they droop and flake all over my damn face.
@cosmia Diorshow is totally the exception to this rule. Raccoon eyes like whoa with that stuff. I use Tarte's MultiplEYE and that seems to stay pretty well.
@cosmia Agreed, and also people will lie to you and say it's just FINE for contact lens wearers, and it totally is not for many of us.
@cosmia wait wait wait diorshow has always been my only no-raccoon golden standard. I LOVE. and I have contacts. wtf?
@Lucia Martinez same here! diorshow is one of the few mascaras that i've actually purchased more than once.
I got my blonde hair dyed red in a salon once, more than three years ago, & have been doing it at home ever since, & I still get mad compliments on my dumb lazy hair, so it is possible! Maybe everyone is lying though ):
@MollyculeTheory Nah, you look great.
The advice to LW #1 is perfect, and the only thing I would add is watch for smudges. Maybe it's just my glasses, but I feel like I spend half my day wiping away smudges and fingerprints.
@andrea disaster: Yes! And then it makes me wonder WTF I've been doing with my face that my glasses are always so dirty!
So much to say about all this.
First, to the lady with glasses: I also wear glasses and I find minimal eyemakeup to be key. I usually wear a light coloured shadow with liquid eyeliner on the top only. Sometimes I feel like switching it up and skip the dull eyeshadow and use a wet liner brush and a crazy colour instead. Just make sure your eyeshadow doesn't clash with your glasses…
Second, to the blonde lady; I'm blonde too, with a weird white streak at each temple. No matter how many times I've dyed my hair (there have been many) my hair always grows back the same colour, even with the two damn white streaks. But yeah, go see a professional, when trying to dye my hair any kind of 'traditional' colour it always gets fucked up.
So far, thanks to Jane, I have bought a pencil skirt, cut my hair into a pixie AND bought those blackhead clearing thingies and only realised the connection with the hairpin JUST NOW.
Now I want to pick my spots.
@Susanna@twitter I've overhauled my eyebrow grooming and eyeliner application, and have also gotten a pixie cut. At this point, I'd probably jump off a bridge if Jane told me to.
@ilikemints My eyebrows are the best they've ever been right now! Jane is the greatest.
I usually just wear neutral browns/coppers when I'm wearing glasses and save the crazy shit for contact days. But I can't ear mascara with my glasses because my eyelashes are too long and it just gets all over my glasses (I'm not bragged I swear)!
Also dyeing fine hair is always a good idea because it makes it look thicker. I have been using Herbashine which is a semipermanent, but I'm not sure what would happen if you used it on blonde hair. I mean, I would assume it still washes out, right? Just not if you went darker probably (or it would take longer to wash out).
@Megan Patterson@facebook just wait a few minutes for your mascara to dry. i also have the eyelashes hitting glasses problem and finally, my boyfriend was like "hey genius. mascara is wet. do you put your glasses on immediately after slathering wet goo on your eyelashes? maybe that's why your glasses are always filthy." and he was correct. dammit.
@Megan Patterson@facebook I can't see well enough without my glasses to really do this. I would just have to like, sit in a chair doing nothing until it dried. Also, I am too lazy to do this, lol.
@Megan Patterson@facebook I've got the same issue, and it used to drive me insane until I got an eyelash curler. Curl that shit! Curl 'em right up so they bend back around and ruffle your eyebrows instead of hitting your lenses, and you can wear all the mascara you want. I actually curl my lashes every day, because they gunk up my glasses more without mascara than with (eyelid oil? I guess?).
Oh, and as for the actual vision issue, I manage by basically crushing one cheek into the mirror and looking with the eye closest to the mirror while I curl the other side. It works!
@Princess Langwidere YEAH CURL 'EM. For my whole life I avoided eyelash curlers because they are terrifying. Then, I had to start wearing my glasses all the time (too poor for contacts) which I had avoided because of how annoying it was to have my lashes rub my lenses. And then I thought "oh! curling!" and felt like a genius. This was about two weeks ago, so I'm still ridin' the high.
Lady #3!!! I used to have that raccoon eye problem as well, until I switched to some BOMB eyeliner and mascara and now it's not even an issue whatsoever! The eyeliner I use is Physician's Formula Gel CreamLiner in Brown Eyes. It stays on like a champ- I do use powder eyeshadow under it, though, so that probably helps. For mascara, I use CoverGirl LashBlast Fusion, the water resistant kind. It's not waterproof, so it doesn't dry out your lashes at all, but stays on so well. I'll never use another mascara, swear.
One thing I try to remember is just not to get my face close to the mirror. Most blemishes are the type that only bother you because you know they're there, but if you're more than a foot away they're barely perceivable. I just try avoid putting my face right close to the mirror which helps me avoid getting all scrutinizey and then picky and then saddy.
@Claire Zulkey That's so smart and so true.
@Claire Zulkey Also to try and not to be so hard on yourself when you see your face in the mirror somewhere with ridiculous harsh florescent lights. I always get depressed when I go touch up my makeup in the office bathroom mirror (I do it too Jane!), because it makes my skin look awful and blotchy and uneven, but as soon as I catch myself in a normal mirror I can tell that I actually look much better than that.
Lady #2: I feel your pain. I also have this condition and ditto Jane's advice. See a therapist and consider taking anti-anxiety medication. Also, if you pick with your fingers, you may want to consider getting acrylic nails. They are too thick/hard to pick with. If you think you would end up resorting to using some kind of implement to pick with instead, try riding your house of literally anything that you could use as a picking tool (seriously, eat with plastic spoons exclusively if you have to).
@sweetpotatofries Not being a grammar nazi, but I saw "try riding your house" and loled =)
@Susanna@twitter Ahhh!! That's what I get for trying to be stealthy and post quickly while at work.
has anyone had experience using henna on blonde hair? what happens?? i know a couple of brunettes who henna their hair with stunning results, so i'm curious.
@plonk No, but I used to dye mine with Kool-Aid in highschool. Looked okay for highschool.
@plonk I did this once in Poland, using a packet of hair dye that proclaimed HENNA! on the front and had a suspiciously-long ingredient list on the back, and lots of information that went far beyond my basic reading skills in that language. I wound up with strawberry-pink hair that lasted for a month rather than the 1 week it seemed to promise on the packet. (Also my hair was blonde due to highlights, not nature, so all in all this may be the least useful comment ever.)
@cherrispryte idk, mine was pretty useless as well…
@plonk A friend of mine with naturally bright blonde hair in high school did this and the result was bright pink/orange… so beware if that is not your intended look…
@plonk I think there are some pictures on the Lush website? But, duh, only works if you use their formula. Also I might be wrong. So.
I won't pretend like picking at your skin obsessively is on par with acne BUT I did have shitty acne and very very fair skin and I was extremely self-conscious about the scars for years. Then I bought a foundation brush and it's like the heavens opened up just for me. I bought the Lancome No. 2 brush and it applies my foundation evenly and perfectly and covers up all my acne so well. It also means I keep my grubby fingers off my face when I'm applying. After your skin starts healing and you're ready to figure out the makeup question I strongly recommend a good foundation brush, it'll change your life.
@Diana My acne is mostly gone but scars are everywhere, so may try this! thanks for the tip!
Jane! Stop in Cincinnati on your way to LA so we can grab some sangria and become best friends forever and ever! (I mean that in the least "I will frame your toenails and eat your hair" way possible.)
@Dumbelina Another Cincinnati Hairpinner! YAY!
@Dumbelina @ilikemints And another! We have enough people for a Cincinnati hairpin meet up for Jane's road-trip. Sangria yesssssss
@kmc Hey me too! The Hairpin needs to come drink with us.
All I can think of when I look at that picture is "What the hell is Regina George doing on The Hairpin?!" Regina George. Ruining things since, well, forever.
I second the Bare Minerals primer!!! It's a little less scary than the Urban Decay one. (And, for mascara, Clinique Lash Power or High Impact Curling.) Also, quick tip: if you dust a little translucent face powder under your eyes, it slightly helps prevent the darker eyeshadow/smudgies.
Oh, naive LW#2 and your “I'm 20, so I'm still vaguely acneic.” For your sake I hope you’re one of those people who grows out of her acne, but I’m 26 and still acneic–and not vaguely.
So thanks for the advice, Jane!
UDPP ladies, learn how to break that shiza open! there's an insane amount of product left in those damn odd shaped bottles.
@amusedgirl It actually comes in a squeezy bottle now! I'm sure some people hate the change, but I really like it. You just squeeze it onto your finger tips and spread it on, no more weird applicator. I always had to use my fingers to smooth it out after using the applicator anyway, so I am pretty happy about this.
Oh man, skin picker, I can totally relate. I've been doing this for over a decade. I have keratosis pilaris, so it became somewhat of a hobby of mine to pick all of the sebum plugs out of my arms until I was left with bloody holes (I know, gross!). Besides that, I'd find pretty much ANYTHING to pick (even nonexistent things) and I once picked at my arm so hard that it got infected, and when I went to UrgentCare, the doc asked me if I had, by any chance, been shooting up heroin recently. Yeah.
I cannot stress this enough: GET TREATMENT for the big problem, not just the symptoms. I finally saw a doctor for my picking disorder, not just for the resulting infection, and she referred me to a therapist. It was concluded that I had some sort of combination of Anxiety/OCD, but strangely, a lot of the picking stemmed from my ADD and the fact that I can't sit still. After a combo of antidepressants and ADD meds, I've finally laid off the picking, for the most part. Besides the meds, wearing sleeves more often helped, since I didn't have easy access to my arms (maybe limited access to mirrors would help you?) and weirdly, having my iPhone on me all the time helped, as well, since it kept my hands busy to play mindless games when I needed a release.
Anyway, rambling aside, I totally feel for you and I hope you get some help soon. I know the whole picking thing can be an embarrassing thing to talk about, because it's not a common thing and can result in some nasty scars. I know you can kick the habit! Good luck!
@adwriter84 Yes for sleeves! If I can see my arms I'm picking. Oh, and I got asked the heroin thing too. I was also asked if I did meth because of how bad my face looked.
@adwriter84 and @MeganToTheMax Yes, to all of what y'all said. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but it's good to not be alone.
@adwriter84 I have keratosis pilaris, too! I've tried everything, and there's this amazing body wash that helped so, so much. St. Ives body wash — not the apricot shit, but this stuff with a finer grit. It works like whoooooa on my skin. It comes in a white bottle.
@S. Elizabeth I'm catching up on my Hairpin reading and just now seeing this. As someone with KP who is a sometimes picker, I want to know what body wash you're talking about! Is it this one: http://www.amazon.com/St-Ives-Exfoliating-Purify-Ounce/dp/B004JLGC12?
@blerg ohmygod yes and it's amazing!!!! I love it more than life itself. My red, speckly, weird, zitty-looking arms are "normal" looking thanks to that stuff.
@S. Elizabeth thanks so much for replying! I've tried samples of foams with urea in them from the derm with semi-success, but 1) putting "mousse" on your arms is so weird and leaves this white residue, and 2) I hate the extra, post-shower step of having to do that. I'll have to try the St. Ives stuff.
@blerg So here's what I think is going on with my skin (internet, sharing, yay!)…
I have KP on my upper arms and some on my forearms. I got a bad sunburn over the summer (rare, I usually do the SPF 30 like whoa), and when the skin started peeling, the skin underneath was clear and beautiful and brown. Score, right??? It gave me some hope, and I tried a lot of other exfoliating things, and none of them worked (loofahs, washcloths, scrubby bath brushes, body scrubs, etc) until that St. Ives stuff.
I think it has to do with the grit — a lot of the other body scrubs and exfoliating things have a really rough grit with bigger pieces, but less of them. Most are pretty much a lot of goo and 20 pieces of grit. The St. Ives stuff isn't like that — more grit, less goo, not as goo-like.
That St. Ives stuff has a LOT of the grit, but it's very, very fine and feels almost smaller than sand. It hits every single little piece of skin, but doesn't feel like it's just scraping off the dead stuff or being rubbed into your arm and then washed off. I noticed the change after the first time I used it, and then really scrubbed my arms with it to see if it would work even BETTER and it did.
And this is why you always borrow your little brother's skin care products while visiting your parents.
hi jane marie, welcome to California, when you get here!
I am glad someone brought up the fact that red lipstick looks like crap on those of us with acne. I thought it was just me.
Also I completely agree with the Full and Soft recommendation. I get complemented on my lashes all the time because of that stuff.
@whereismyrobot Also red shirts? Even when I'm feeling extra-good about my face, trying on a red shirt makes me feel like the blotchiest, acne-ist girl in the room.
Dear skin picking girl: You can come sit by me and my trichotillomania and we'll eat popcorn and try to not make our dermatologists cry.
@LaFabuliste I have t-mania too; can I come?
@shesarainbow *passes popcorn*
@LaFabuliste Former hair-puller traded in for skin-picking. I'll bring the margaritas to our popcorn party?
@LaFabuliste *passes popcorn all around* i had trichotillomania. therapy, destroying koosh balls, and wearing my hair up 24/7 helped while my bald spot grew back in. i can't say i don't get the urge to pull once in a while, but since i got my hair cut pixie-short a few years ago, i rarely do.
@yeah-elle …still working on not gouging holes in my scalp. Could we put more butter on this popcorn?
I'm not a blonde, but I am going really gray and I'm lazy and poor, so I have a lot of experience with trying to touch up my roots. The Clairol stuff that Jane illustrates works the best, I think. L'Oreal has a new one, with a cool looking brush, but it did not cover my gray at all. It was an utter waste of time and money, and even worse, I was going on a date in an hour, so I ended up showing up on what would be my first and last date with an otherwise promising looking person with lots and lots of gray. Yeah, I know, if it was true wuv it wouldn't have mattered, but my self-confidence in being gorgeously fabulous took a hit, which rarely helps woo potential love interests. Anyway, the root stuff by Clairol, not L'Oreal.
Oh second person, I am so sorry. Just as a cautionary FYI, no therapist I've seen has ever given a flying fuck about my skin picking or wanting to stop it, despite all the other anxiety issues. Since you have some cash, regular facials (or at home enzyme masks), tons of water and going back on the pill mostly cleared my face up so there is nothing left to pick. A lot of acne is hormonal, so if you've ever considered the pill, it's got one good side effect.
Agree with the rec about working out the issues, but that takes way longer than clearing up your skin.
@Whitney@twitter Yesssss the pill is amazing for my skin. Also not having to be bedridden monthly with cramps (which actually happened a lot).
I swear this column was written just for me. I could have been LW 1, 2, or 4. Bless you, Jane.
Skin picker – there's already a lot of great advice here for the picking/anxiety, but just wanted to address the cold sores on your chin thing. I've gotten them in the past and can usually tell when they're coming (that tingly feeling, or a sort of hardness under the skin) and immediately start a course of Valtrex. It's not the sexiest thing to have in the medicine cabinet, but it WORKS.
Oh and for migratory mascara, I've read that it helps if you lightly powder under your eyes… but I'm a little suspect.
@Megoon My stepdad and stepsister get that tingly feeling that warns them, too, and they take an amino acid called L-lysine that seems to keep them away.
but raccoon eyes look gooooood. Especially under glasses. Have you ever seen a raccoon you didn't want to squeeze in a big hug until it clawed your fingers off and gave you rabies? I know I haven't. What you want to do is put on mascara, go to bed, wake up in the morning and take a shower whilst not washing your face within an inch of your eyes, and go about your day. Sexily.
here's a good comic about Dermatillomania, by one of my favorite comics people:
http://www.darcomic.org/2007/08/20/zitface/
Jane!!! BLESS YOU for not telling Lady #1 to wear boring make up. Every article I've read that says "girls with glasses shouldn't wear anything bright" makes me want to cry. You can wear WHATEVER YOU WANT!! Although Jane's tips are for sure a good starting place.
I've been rocking glasses for almost 20 years and hot green (or purple, or gold, etc) eyeliner for about five. I've never felt hotter!
@fishiefishfish yes sparkly liquid eyeliner all the way!
LW #2: I had (have, sort of) this same problem. My dermatologist told me to draw a large smiley face and tape it to my bathroom mirror. Every time I picked at my face, I had to draw a corresponding red X on the smily face. If I parked myself on (in) the bathroom sink and started a pick-fest, my smiley face would be covered in shameful X's and I'd have to look at it regretfully – until I quit and took it down. I had a hard time sticking with it, but I think it was a worthwhile exercise.
LW2: As someone who gets spots around my mouth/chin – I'm sorry, but red lipstick with spots in that area is not a good look. You need clear skin to pull off red lips. Spotty chin – these are the days you do big eyes! Draw attention away!
LW3: Keep a clean cotton bud in your makeup bag. Halfway through the day, look in a mirror, lick your cotton bud, swipe it under your eyes. Next time you buy mascara, buy a different one.
All I can focus on is "Sephora's lax return policy" WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
Mascara is the one type of makeup you should never ever ever share because we all have little eyelash mites and mascara brushes can catch them up really easily.
Are people returning mascara and then Sephora is reselling it?! I'm sure that's not what's happening right? RIGHT?!
D:
@redheadedandcrazy I am not sure that they actually resell it, but Sephora really accepts any old thing back, even if it's used, receipt or no receipt. I had a roommate that would return eye pencils that she had already used down to the little nubbins, no questions asked. Maybe not the best or nicest course of action, but you get the point.
@melissafaustine They must not resell it. I mean obviously they can't resell nubbins … but as for the rest … in any case, I'm going with, they don't resell, that would be crazy!
@redheadedandcrazy they don't resell it, it goes straight into the bin. which is 100% understandable for mascara or liners or whatever thing that would obviously have gross germs on it. But used to make me sad when someone would buy a pricey eye shadow or foundation or lipstick that could be sanitized – use it once and then bring it back for a refund/replacement. all in the bin…
@redheadedandcrazy I've read that they turn some of the returned items into testers, but only if they can be sanitized (barely used eyeshadow = wipe off the top layer with an alcohol pad, etc.).
You're moving to LA?! Noooo! I just came from there a couple months ago! And I've had The Talent Show in Brooklyn on my to-do list for forever, just in case you might have been performing there. I haz teh sads.
Miss skin picker, oh boy do i feel you. i have exema i scratch and rum without thinking, and somewhere along the line I had a boyfriend who was an oblivious carrier of cold sores. combined with my often cracked skin i got a horrific outbreak that went from the middle of my chest to the top of my head…. and recurred (not quite as insanely as the first time) for the next ten years ( but misleadingly never on my mouth..) until i finally found a dermatologist who actually properly diagnosed me. Now i take anti viral meds take when i feel an outbreak coming on, and holy is that sooo much better.
Also related to my itchiness i also rubbed my eyes a lot and could not wear mascara until i discovered Kiss me Mascara (http://www.cimel.ca/main/mascara.php) , and now I wonder why anyone ever wears the smudgy kind.
@j-furr appartly now know as Blinc Mascara, woops http://www.blincinc.com/#mascara
Jaaaaaaaaaaaane! You're moving to LA?! Maybe we will be neighbors? And maybe even best friends? Or maybe I can be your new esthetician? Seriously gurrrl, come and try me out and I will hook you up!
@cline I will fight you for the honor to be Jane's BF. Alas I am up north in SF. You two come visit me!
Also, seriously, Jane has awesome steez right now so I am totally stoked to see what crazy shit she will get into and teach us about from LA.
Oh, dear, the picking. I'm not entirely obsessive about it, but I do it pretty regularly and don't even need a mirror. My dermatologist gave me an oral antibiotic, an antibiotic lotion, and Cetaphil antibiotic bar soap all at once. She figured, why not go nuclear? Things were clearing up in three days and I felt like an asshole for waiting so long to go in. The pills make me a little bit hypoglycemic, but it's better than painful open sores. Once the sores cleared, I was less tempted to pick, even though, yes, treating the anxiety is essential.
And Sephora store brand mascara actually works really well for me. I hated Diorshow, returned it, got the Sephora brand, and never have this problem.
@Better to Eat You With
Fellow Sephora brand mascara devotee! I have the Atomic Volume mascara and it's amazing. I bought it when I got tired of spending $45 on mascara every three months and no one ever complimented my lashes anyway. Bought the Sephora one and now people actually do compliment my lashes.
Dermatillomania
So… this is a thing? That is common? And you can get therapy for this?
…oh. Oh. Thanks, hairpinners.
(Also, yay for makeup-with-glasses! Also relevant to my life.)
@phenylalanine what? of course dermatillomania is a thing. and it's actually kind of hard to deal with, and it's hard to disclose, and it sucks when people act like it isn't real/valid/whatever.
@yeah you too@twitter I think phenylalanine meant that she didn't know there was a name for it, and it's a problem she can relate to and she's glad/surprised to hear that other people also have it.
@phenylalanine Sure is! Makes you feel like less of a freak when you know that other people also struggle with it; that it has a name, AND many, many possible solutions, doesn't it?
@Twinkle Little Bat Yes, what you said. Sorry that wasn't clearer!
and @Beck Rea@facebook Yes! I know some people haaaate them, but I've always felt kind of… affectionate about labels – if it has a name, that means I'm not alone.
Glasses Lady! Are you short or long sighted? Because if you're shortsighted, like me, your glasses will make your eyes look smaller, and if you're long sighted, your glasses make your eyes look bigger!
Being shortsighted is kind of mint because you can wear ALL THE MAKEUPS, and if it smudges, oh well, no one can see it through your inch-thick glasses anyway!
Also, glasses emphasize dark shadows, so always use concealer!
Someone please this is a cry for help!! UDPP has worked for me amazingly for like, two years, all of a sudden it stopped working. I got the cheapo Loreal kind and it didn't work, I got the Smashbox kind and it didn't help either. Is it my brushes? The summer heat? Am I putting too much on even though I try putting on less?
@filo Try cleaning your brushes, then try again with a brand new eye shadow, maybe? It's possibly you're transferring around oil / moisturizer / other makeup around from shadow to shadow via brushes / fingers, thus making them all primer-resistant? Maybe skip any moisturizer around eyes, too. But if you're putting on fresh shadow on clean skin with a clean brush, my guess would be that they've changed the formula or something…
Personally, I just skip elaborate shadow when it's hot and humid, and just do waterproof liner over a smudge of cream shadow — Illamasqua liquid metals are pretty non-crease, and STUPID easy to touch up.
@filo Benefit's Stay, Don't Stray. It's the bomb. I will tell everyone in this post.
My mother has the mascara-flaking problem. So weird. It happens with everything from Great Lash to Clinique to Diorshow (really) (although it lasted an eensy bit longer with Diorshow). I just got a Sephora sample of Dior mascara primer stuff, so I'm going to tell her to try it and maybe it will work…or maybe it's just designed to make your black mascara to look that much blacker. idk.
@florabora seriously, try this http://www.blincinc.com/mascara.php It's really a totally different thing , will never falke or run for serious never!
@j-furr Weiiird. I will pass this on.
Okay, now I have a glasses-makeup question too: I am really fair and blonde, and I have blonde eyelashes and eyebrows. And I love them, and even if I didn't, putting on dark mascara would look super-weird unless I also changed the color of my eyebrows somehow. (I did this for my prom and it looked awful.) So I just don't wear mascara. My question is, what can I do to make my eyelashes/eyes look fancy without messing with my eyelash color? Is there, like… blonde mascara? I don't know shit about makeup; can I be helped? Should I just write in with this question?
@Elsajeni You can get clear mascara (try the Maybelline Great Lash version for cheap) if you just want to curl your lashes and get them to stay (I use it to tame my eyebrows). Also, you might try brown mascara with a blonde/taupe eyebrow pencil when you want a little more definition, should you decide to go the "more makeup" route. It will look way less dark-and-scary than black mascara.
@Elsajeni There are totally colors of mascara other than black. You could be The Girl Who Wears Blue Mascara. Or just plain brown, not brown-black or black. OR clear mascara.
@Elsajeni I have this exact problem. Fixed it with brown mascara (there's a Maybelline one in a hot pink tube I really like, NOT Great Lash), which looks great on its own and fucking fabulous when I curl my lashes. On the rare occasions I wear black, I just curl my lashes and put mascara on the very ends, so there's a little definition but it's not like BOOM. SPIDERLASHES.
@Elsajeni I'm pale and redheaded and I only ever wear brown mascara! You'll be surprised how it keeps you from looking like the Evil Stepmother.
Or just go all Tilda Swinton and wear no eye makeup and 2 tons of awesome lipstick?
Oh acne girl, I feel you! I had acne in early high school, and now suddenly it's BACK at 22 years old. What's up with that? My doctor just put me on birth control, and I'm praying that makes a difference. She also gave me some clindamycin gel that seems to be making a difference.
But i think the most important thing for me is to STOP touching my face…..still working on that one haha
LW #2, I can't claim to know anything about your obsessive skin-picking (though it seems others can), but I do know plenty about having terrible terrible acne.
I went through four different dermatologists from ages 13-23 and tried pretty much all topicals and oral medications (including Accutane–THRICE). And my mom was all, "When you get to be 20 or so, it should clear up." NOT SO. I'm 23 now. Finally, I went to my current dermatologist (Lucky #4), and she put me on a regimen of Aczone every morning, Retin-A every night, and 50 mg of spironolactone, which is an oral medication I guess for women with facial hair sometimes? But it's for balancing hormones and stuff like that (and you have to be on The Pill to take it, so double-duty)! Recently, I looked in the mirror and legit started weeping because I hadn't had skin like that since I was 10, probably.
What I'm saying is, it's a lot of trial-and-error. When it comes to the blemish problem, be as specific as you can with your derm, know your triggers, etc. I know how it's sometimes the absolute worst thing in the world and things probably seem pretty bleak, but I'm confident you can find a solution soon.
I've been jealous of blonde people my whole life being able to easily dye their hair, so all of the comments about how hair dye went awry on blonde hair make me feel better, thank you all.
Late reply but if I wear eye makeup with my glasses I feel like Tootsie.
Dermatillomania Woman, I know how you feel. No therapist or psychiatrist has taken my skin-picking seriously (nor did they care too much about my hair-pulling). They just lumped it under my general diagnosis of OCD.
But, they kind of have a point. It is related to OCD, and it's been most helpful for me to treat my dermatillomania the same way I deal with any other obsession/compulsion. It works different for everyone, but my symptoms improve a lot if I do these things:
1) Get enough sleep
2) Refuse to accept it when people try to stress me out
3) Cut my fingernails short, and wear pretty gloves if I'm getting really out of control
4) Have someone around to point out what I'm doing, who is not afraid to stop me
5) And yes, get enough water and decent food in my diet.
As for your cold sores on your chin: There was a guy in the news not so long ago, who got them on his FEET. And it seems relatively common to get them on your hands (especially among dentists).
So, do take comfort in the fact that anyone can get them anywhere. A few months ago, I got one on my nose, just above my lip. A new place for me, ugh.
Do what you can to avoid picking your cold sores. As you know, they hurt like hell. And you can spread them, if you aren't careful. In high school, I used to actually put a little band-aid on mine, to keep myself from picking them at the height of my dermatillomania. It looks silly, but if it helps, who cares?
I love the comment sections of the Beauty Q&As. You guys are seriously the best, ever.
Has anyone heard if you can have a funky hybrid of Dermatillomania and Trichotillomania? I partake in both habits, along with the gruesome habit of nail biting, but none of which to the point where I thought I needed therapy (the nail biting is the worst of the three)…
JANE.
You're moving to LA???
That makes me SO happy.
I request another Hairpin meetup at Lucky Baldwin's in Sierra Madre!!!
And I totally second the advice on drinking a TON of water–
I'm still kinda pick-at-everything-y (usually just when I'm stressed), but the water has helped make my skin less of a atomic acne battleground.
Also, a good, unapologetically CREAMY, fragrance-free, natural moisturizer (I *heart* Trader Joe's "A Midsummer Night's Cream", Kiss My Face Peaches, and LUSH's "Vanishing Cream) have made such a huge difference.
Turns out I was starving my face of its natural oils by bombing it with medications and benzyol peroxide–and it fought back by producing MOAR oil–so unhappy.
Gentle cleansing, followed up by a good moisturizer, and NOT LOOKING IN THE MIRROR after showering have made all the difference to my poor abused face.
(I've even gone so far as to hang a towel over the mirror so I can't pick at everything)
(which doesn't mean that I always succeed at not-picking. Still recovering from the pick-fest that occurred after a fucktastic wedding at the beginning of August…maybe I should seek therapy…)
Regarding hair dying:
YES YES YES to being honest with your hairdresser. I go once every three or four months (RIDICULOUS, I KNOW). And I have asked my hairdresser to make my color so that it grows out nicely, and SHE DOES. And, frankly, until the very, very, very last second, it looks good as hell.