Tuesday, July 26, 2011


Alien Wine

"It will be featured and displayed in a bulletproof showcase, like a painting, so people can see it easily. This showcase will be temperature- and humidity-controlled. It’ll be a mini-Fort Knox, impossible to open. ... I will never resell it, even if a wealthy Chinese gentleman or a rich man from the Middle East offers to buy it. I’m not a fancy collector. I’m not rich. I work very hard. This is important that it’s not connected to investing. I’m a sommelier. Wine is for drinking."
Not even Chinese or Middle Eastern gentlemen can stop the man who bought the world's most expensive bottle of wine from drinking it in 2017, when he plans to celebrate the 50th anniversary of his career. The wine — a 1811 Chateau d’Yquem, Sauternes, for which he paid $117K — is believed to be especially delicious because a comet flew past the earth in that year.


wine, booze, aliens

20 Comments / Post A Comment


Is that cornet thing for real


2017: He dies mere seconds after opening the case and letting the bottle slip through his nerveless fingers after mistakenly believing he spies an inscrutable, determined Chinese gentleman in the mirror. "No," he whispers. "You can't. There was time now."

Nicole Cliffe

So much win for YOU.

one cow.

The guy who tasted it a few years back said it tasted like “liquefied crème brûlée.” I say shake that bad boy up with some Qream & he's got himself a nice Qrème brûlée! No need to refrigerate.


And I was raised and believed all along that comet makes you vomit?!?


It's awesome that he specifies the ethnicity of these people who might buy his wine. It's like he did some very quick mental calculating and stereotyping and was thinking, "Well, not French, they already have plenty of wine, and not American, they don't hold with fancy expensive wines. Other countries, mostly too poor. No, it's the new up-and-coming countries, with more wealth than they know what to do with. Those are the people who want my wine."


@Marzipan Maybe those are his two besties and they were in the wine store with him when he bought it and they all wanted it but he got it first and they were like "oh, man!" and tried to buy it from him but he was like "NO WAY suckas!" and now they won't be his besties anymore but they still want that wine and so they have their underlings search the world over for two more bottles but the underlings, who think they're so very sly and found it are actually just calling the same guy who wouldn't share in the first place, who just laughs with a little more evil in his tone each time they come calling. Yep. That's gotta be it.


I'm kind of jealous of the idea of owning the most ________ _________. Whether it is "expensive wine" or "bedazzled toaster", I want one day to have something truly superlative.


"I’m not a fancy collector." I disagree, sir: this is the definition of fanciness.


Sort of related: Has anyone besides me seen the movie "Year of the Comet," which stars Penelope Ann Miller and Tim Daly as a wine expert and a good ol' boy who kind of hate each other but want to sleep together (duh) and who are trying to recover a giant bottle of wine that was made during the "year of the comet," and once belonged to Napoleon, while being chased by some crazy French guy who thinks he's discovered the formula for a serum that makes you younger?

No? Didn't think so.


@KellySkittles - Not only did I see the movie, a little voice inside my head whispered, "Year of the comet!" in exactly the same awed tone as Penelope Ann Miller.


@KellySkittles No but I've seen Night of the Comet. And it was amazing.


@KellySkittles And Louis Jordan! Trying to reverse the aging process. Oh Gaston, how far you have fallen.


$117k can buy a lotta qream. just sayin.


Why isn't this tagged Imminent Bloody Class War?


I missed Edith's drawings.


So if I were to buy, say, a $1,000 bottle of wine (I'll never have $1,000) but then smash all the other bottles of that vintage, would my bottle become worth, like, $100,000? Because I would sell it to a Chinese gentleman or a rich man from the Middle East or even a South Pacific heiress.


@Layla I think that's what Edith is going to do with Qream.


@Layla: replace 'smash' with 'drink', and I think you have a plan there.


This reminds me of the BevMo near my work that contains an oddity. Their top rack wines hover around $80, with one near $200. And then the last one at $1,000. The sudden hike just kind of stuns me; emergency ostentation for the jet set?

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