Robyn's Hilarious "Call Your Girlfriend" Video

@heb Ooh, yeah. Which, by the way, is this:

Call your girlfriend
It's time you had the talk
Give your reasons
Say it's not her fault
But you just met somebody new

Tell her not to get upset, second-guessing everything you said and done
And then when she gets upset tell her how you never meant to hurt no one
Then you tell her that the only way her heart will mend is when she learns to love again
And it won't make sense right now but you're still her friend
And then you let her down easy

Call your girlfriend
It's time you had the talk
Give your reasons
Say it's not her fault
But you just met somebody new

Don't you tell her how I give you something that you never even knew you missed
Don't you even try and explain how it's so different when we kiss
You tell her that the only way her heart will mend is when she learns to love again
And it won't make sense right now but you're still her friend
And then you let her down easy

Call your girlfriend
It's time you had the talk
Give your reasons
Say it's not her fault
But you just met somebody new
And now, it's gon be me and you

And you tell her that the only way her heart will mend is when she learns to love again
And it won't make sense right now but you're still her friend
And then you let her down easy

Call your girlfriend
It's time you had the talk
Give your reasons
Say it's not her fault

Call your girlfriend
It's time you had the talk
Give your reasons
Say it's not her fault
But you just met somebody new

@Edith Zimmerman I really want to like it, but those lyrics! Those lyrics are gut wrenching! Maybe she's writing a sequel from the scorned ladies perspective? Maybe it's a trilogy from all 3 parts? Robyyynnn!!!

@Edith Zimmerman @heb oh for sure if someone gave me those reasons I'd be like WTF and cry and throw things but also if he then added "the somebody new is Robyn, BTW" I think then I'd kind of get it. so maybe that's why.

@Katie Heaney I think the letdown would suck more if it was Robyn because then you know you never even had a chance. "Oh, you're leaving me for one of the most awesome people on the planet? Where are my self-esteem cookies?"

@applestoapples Ugh true. But at the same time, you could totally try to sabotage their relationship, and then bond with Robyn over how stupid that boy is and how he's so pretentious all the time, and then YOU'D BE FRIENDS WITH ROBYN.

@heb, dude this is Robyn's take on the "HEY HEY YOU YOU I DON'T LIKE UR GIRLFRIEND" mistresscore genre, I promise you the lady's feelings are not her top concern

@theinvisiblecunt MISSTRESSCORE!!!

@Katie Heaney That would be an ideal outcome, where you and Robyn are drive past him blasting "Konichiwa Bitches."

@applestoapples and then drive by him one more time really slowly, blasting "Be Mine!" and then one final time really fast, playing "Handle Me."

@Katie Heaney that's perfect.

@heb Is there a better way of going about telling your current girlfriend that you have a new girlfriend? I actually think the lyrics are remarkably sensitive, given that she's talking from the perspective of someone telling her dude that he needs to do the right thing and be honest with his girlfriend that he's cheating on, and to not be a dick about it.

@Clare Nope, don't. I never do that, and I feel no guilt.

@Clare How long ago did you break up? Are you still in contact? Is it friendly? For me it was "Fairly recent/kinda/kinda but with undertones of 'Ihateyoubutalsopleasecanwegetbacktogether'" and I went with NO. I feel kinda bad about it now (not as recent/yes/more so than before) but if he wanted a happy birthday wish he shouldn't have been such a juicebox.

@Clare: Did you make a hysterical oath before/while you were breaking up about how, no matter what, you'd always wish each other "Happy Birthday"? Even just a silly little text? EVEN THEN?

…no?

Then you're good.

@heb We broke up in November, but we were friends for a real long time before we started dating. I've largely ignored him since then. Maybe someday I'll want to be friends again, but not for a while.

When we broke up, he said he couldn't see me anymore because he had a lot of expenses coming up and he needed to focus on getting his life in order. The following week, he posted on twitter about his multiple all-night drinking binges in DC, Jeff Tweedy concert tickets, and dumb new Vibram running shoes. The week after that, he started dating a new girl.

@Clare Wish him a happy fall into a pit of lava, and spend the money you would have spent on him on yourself. Fancy lady!

@Clare I am wishing him a terrible, unhappy birthday right this second.

@Clare Oh girrrrl…my ex said/did almost the same thing. Only, I tried to show him that I was super cool and also we have the same birthday? So we would call each other and be all friendly, but really I wanted him to fall into a pit of lava.

Skip the friendly and go straight for the lava. It's better in the end.

@Clare That guy can shit and fall back in it…repeatedly. No birthday wishes!

@Tyler Coates So the song is actually "Call Your Ex-Girlfriend"?

@Tyler Coates yes, yes, yes! i agree – she writes a lot of songs about dancing in the club on her own, i am sort of okay with this one pushing the other perspective.

@heb Nah, it's like a prequel!

I think what is most important when analyzing pop music (and really any music!) is that, most of the time, the singer is singing as a character. I doubt Robyn endorses the sentiment in this song! OR, maybe, she's just saying, "Don't be a dick and fool around with both of us. If you wanna be with me, you have to break up with your girlfriend."

@Tyler Coates That is astute.

@Tyler Coates yes! i thought this too!

@Christina It looks like it's made out of the gray shag carpeting from the NOHAIR ad! She needs to rip it off and drag it down the stairs and out to the curb. But I guess it would just grow back.

@punkahontas Ha! Yes!