Recession Band-Aids and Their Subsequent Reviews
The Chef — four corn nuts glued together
“This one healed my wound almost immediately, because of all the salt, but it was pretty painful and scarred right away.”
The Cat Lover — a miniature plastic disco ball tied around with string
“Just when I thought my cut was healing, one of the ball’s edges would reopen it.”
The Postman — bits of packing peanuts sprinkled on top of wound
“Well, what can I say — my leg’s been amputated.”
Previously: Nine Ways to Enjoy Adult Acne.
Erin Sullivan lives in Portland, Oregon.