Lady-Comp: How I Quit Hormones
I let a German computer tell me when to have sex.
Before I do anything in the morning — drink water, get out of bed — I take my temperature with Lady-Comp, a discus-shaped, German-made, mini-computer that tells me when I’m fertile. I put its temperature-taking wand under my tongue, push a button, and wait for about 30 seconds. When Lady-Comp is finished, it beeps, tells me my basal body temperature (BBT), and gives me a green, yellow, or red light to indicate whether or not I'm fertile. Green means: "Go on! Have sex! You won't get pregnant. I promise." Yellow means Lady-Comp is learning my cycle and is unsure if it's safe to proceed. (I get more yellow lights when I've forgotten to take my temperature sometime within the preceding days. Lady-Comp is cautious — demure even.) Red light days mean that I'm fertile. (Yes, I often sing to myself, "Laaady-Comp. You don't have to put on the red light.")
I switched to using Lady-Comp for birth control or “natural family planning” almost two years ago. Before that, finding the right hormonal method of birth control had not been easy for me. I’ve tried at least four different brands that I can remember. Regular Ortho Tri-Cyclen gave me anxiety attacks, and another brand killed my sex drive but gave me huge boobs (a cruel injustice for my then-boyfriend). Each brand switch involved an appointment with my gynecologist. (I’m not a medical professional, and everyone should consult one to pick out the right birth control method for her.)
In the beginning of my relationship with my now-husband, we were super hot for each other — while I was taking Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo. About a year and a half into our relationship, I switched to the NuvaRing, which was actually pretty easy to use compared to the once-a-day-at-the-same-time pill. But the more I thought about hormones being released from a little plastic ring into the walls of my vagina, the more frequently I wondered if there was a better way for me to not get pregnant.
My friend Lauren had been a long-time Lady-Comp user. "I use this big thermometer," she told me. Not asking the important question I should have, I imagined having to stick a big thermometer up my vagina every day. (For some reason, I was OK with a plastic ring but not a thermometer? Anyway, I know better now.)
I researched iPhone apps that help keep track of fertility. (Not advisable: A friend recently got pregnant using only an iPhone to chart her cycle. iPhones can do lots of things, but it turns out dispensing personal medical advice isn’t one of them.) I downloaded a fill-it-in-yourself chart for my temperature and cervical mucus in an attempt at DIY BBT. While still using the NuvaRing (so it wasn’t really useful), I took my temperature with a regular thermometer each morning, and I charted whether or not it felt wet or "tacky" in my vagina. This experiment lasted about a week.
I asked my very old gynecologist about getting an IUD, and he said that I couldn't because I had never been pregnant before (Ed. – Which isn't the case; anyone can get an IUD!). This was also around the same time that the NuvaRing went from $10 per month to $40 per month when my health insurance changed. Lamenting the cost of my hormones to Lauren, she asked me if I wanted see how hers worked. I must have bleated something like, "Yeee-aah? Unhh…" before she explained the actual mechanism for using it.
I researched getting a Lady-Comp of my own, and quickly decided to buy one. Lady-Comp costs $485. I was prepared to pay $480 for the NuvaRing for a year, and the Lady-Comp is supposed to work for about 10 years. In addition to its price over time, Lady-Comp has these advantages for me:
- No unexpected complications from taking hormones, such as smelling wrong or a greater risk of blood clots. (I have pondered the fact that I was taking Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo when Ian and I got together…)
- 99.3% accurate (according to Lady-Comp’s manufacturer). There is also this study.
- Simpler than taking the pill (to me) because it has a built-in alarm clock in. Also, if you miss taking your temperature for a day or two, Lady-Comp just gives you a few more red or yellow days.
I also have learned more about my sensitive self. I've found that I have rather long cycles that average 34 days. (Lady-Comp told me.) My cycle before last was 40 days long. The previous one was 29 days. Because of my irregular cycle length, I get fewer green-light days than I think other people with more-regular cycles would.
And this is where Lady-Comp has a downside for me: I'm red-light on a lot more days than I thought I'd be. Part of this is my fault. I haven't been as vigilant as I could be about tracking my cycle. I forget to take my temperature a few days out of the month, like when I turn off the alarm on the weekend.
My husband would probably tell you that Lady-Comp has not been his favorite method of birth control. His days of unfettered access are gone. When he’s feeling amorous, he has to ask about the color of the light. Then he saddles up a condom on red and yellow days. Or the light is green, and he gets clearance. We still have sex often (although he lives in another city for work, which is its own deal), and he’s used to me seductively whispering “green light” in his ear. (My preference over Lady-Comp and condoms would be to send him to India for this treatment, but, alas, that’s yet to be.)
Lady-Comp has other fun features that I haven’t used yet, like being able to send it in for a free print-out of my cycle. If I do get pregnant while using Lady-Comp, I would get what I like to think of as a Lady-Comp “bingo”: Instead of just one light indicating that I’m fertile, all THREE lights flash when Lady-Comp thinks you’re pregnant. I could also upgrade from Lady-Comp to Baby-Comp, which has many of the features of Lady-Comp as well as indicating the best days to have sex for if I wanted a boy or a girl? Kind of crazy.
I’m in it for the long haul with Lady-Comp: We only have to use condoms a few days out of the month, and the rest of the time, we’re freestyling. And I don’t have to stick anything up my vagina that I don’t want to.
Justine Garrett isn't a doctor (although she claimed that was her goal in a college scholarship essay) nor is she getting paid to endorse Lady-Comp.
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Oh god, I need one of these. I bought a book about natural family planning, but I do not trust myself to do it correctly!
Tell me the brand that gave you huge boobs.
@theinvisiblecunt +1
@theinvisiblecunt I'd bet on it being Yasmin/Yaz…it gave me porn-star style canteloupes for two months and then it gave me the most wonderful gift of all: a giant, rock-hard golf ball-sized lump in my right breast. Many ultrasounds, mammograms, sad/scary doctor visits and hundreds of dollars later, I still had no real answer. Now I have three grape-sized lumps where the golf ball used to be and they hurt me for two weeks out of every four. Yay, hormones! Never again!
@theinvisiblecunt Lol! I think it was called Modicon. But! I am sooo sensitive to any hormones, and I had zero sex drive. I also had boob growth from Ortho Tri Cyclen.
Thank you!
@theinvisiblecunt It's different for each lady's body. But I used to work at a clinic where Demulen was referred to as the boob pill. That and Loestrin are higher in progestin, which can trigger the growth. I definitely experienced that with Demulen but it was so painful (and other things) that I had to stop. I'm a lady who does well on higher estrogen, which also might give you boobs and hips, but sadly not for me (but has done other good stuff). You just have to find the right one. There are so many.
@Justine Garrett Thank you for your thoughts about our product. If anyone has questions about the lady-comp we are happy to assist you in anyway.
I think your Lady-Comp needs a cute German name. (Linde? Ursula?) Though, Lady-Comp is a pretty cute name on its own.
@Charismatic Megafauna Ute (also short for "uterus" obviously).
@Charismatic Megafauna Regarding your username: Do you know the barnacle dance?
Oh, man. I don't know about this. I went on the pill when I was 17 because my periods were crazy. Like, I had 3 periods in 2 months once (my theory is that I was in the process of syncing up with my 2 female cousins when we were on a long vacation together, but STILL). I don't know where I'm going with this. I just wanted to brag about my 3 periods. Is that even a weird thing? Do other ladies have a lot of periods?
…PERIODS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@fairlyalarmed You didn't have three periods, you had an ellipsis.
@vanillawaif THIS. :3
@vanillawaif and @Liz HAHAHA you're so right.
@fairlyalarmed I never had a lot of periods, but I once had my period for 7 weeks straight while I was on birth control, and even my doctor was all, "Haha, that's weird! No idea what that's about."
@Nutmeg WHOA. I've been out-menstruated and out-classed. Tip of the hat to you, my friend, and good job surviving those 7 weeks! I would have been EXTREMELY dissatisfied, to say the least.
i use the persona fertility monitor, also german-made, & am very satisfied with it. hormonal birth control made me crazy, uninterested in sex, & worried about my health. green light days are the best!
I've been using charting using Taking Charge of Your Fertility for a year now, and I am so into it:
http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1309201931&sr=8-1
It uses a $10 thermometer instead of a $485 one, and you have to fill in the charts yourself. I also chart the "wet versus tacky" sensations.
The book is the size of two novels, but I think it should be required reading for all women. I learned *so much* about what exactly is happening physically during my cycle, and how this translates into symptoms I can observe (temperature, fluid, and cervical position).
Oh, and before I started I totally shared the misconception that the daily temperature was taken vaginally. It's not.
Oh, and a word about terminology: "Natural Family Planning" (NFP) is what the Catholic Church calls this method. The secular folks say "Fertility Awareness Method" (FAM). It's the exact same thing.
@Jillsy Sloper Is Natural Family Planning Vatican approved? Interesting!
@Jillsy Sloper I had no idea that it was a Catholic thing. Thanks for the alternate acronym!
@heb It is! It's the Church's only approved birth control method. According to Wikipedia, most of the research that went into it was done by Church-funded doctors. Which makes me feel a little weird about it, since I'm no longer religious and was never Catholic, but the science is for real.
@Jillsy Sloper Yep, aka The Rhythm Method. BUT if you do this, be careful. I am not the youngest sib of 5 for no reason! If you have irregular periods, do not attempt! Or you know, talk to your doc, but know that it's risky..
@Jillsy Sloper I went to Catholic school (However I'm not a practicing Catholic and this week in particular would like to tell the church to shove it!)
Anyway, senior year we had a class called "Christian Lifestyles" where you learned about relationships, communication, and natural family planning. I still shudder a little thinking about my male teacher explaining the changes to the way the cervix feels by comparing it to his nose and his lips. He also talked about the cervical mucus thing and lots of other gross stuff. But the visual of him pressing on his nose and his lips is what sticks with me.
@lids It's different from the rhythm method, which just counts days. That's why it's inaccurate for those with irregular cycles. FAM takes symptoms like temperature, fluid, and cervical position into account, which brings its failure rate into line with other birth control methods.
@Jillsy Sloper Excuse my vulgarity but this is why the saying is "in and out like the Catholics" in various settings, none of which include sex, thankfully.
@punkahontas our class was called "family life."
Fem-puter!!!
@rootmarm
After lengthy femputations I, Femputer, have decided the fate of the men.
@steve The sentence is death… By SNU-SNU!!!!
I know this article is about using non-hormonal birth control, but I finally registered for an account just because that old line about needing to have been previously pregnant before getting an IUD makes me SO ANGRY. It is not true! As Justine mentions, obviously you should discuss it with your gyno, but if your doctor slips you that BS you should find a new one. The first time I heard that it was from my old room mate who also says you have to start your pill on the Sunday after your period; NO EXCEPTIONS, SUNDAYS ONLY, so I thought she was just being quaint, but now that I am on the internet I hear about people being denied IUDs all the time and it makes me grumpy. I have never been pregnant, but I have an IUD and it is working pretty awesomely for me. If you can get past the initial month or two of awesomeness I highly recommend it.
@PrettyNicola I'm now angry, too! I totally believed my gynecologist. Thanks for sharing your success!
@PrettyNicola Conversely, I've had several friends that have had absolutely HORRIBLE experiences with IUDs. We're talking bleeding, hemorrhaging, fatigue, severe mood swings, depression… scary stuff.
I'm not sure what determines with whom it works and with whom it doesn't, but all I know is I can't have one because of a tilted ute.
I registered just for this as well! I was shocked when my OBGYN told me that I could have an IUD because all the clinical lore I'd heard told me I couldn't. She explained that none of it was true, and that IUDs were a totally great option if I wanted to consider them. They won't work for everyone, but it totally ticks me off to see people still being told that they're not an option when they totally are.
@PrettyNicola "Fortunately, the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists just announced that IUDs are the most effective form of reversible birth control for women and are safe for most women of reproductive age. This includes sexually-active teens and women who have never been pregnant before."
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/you-it/201106/great-news-about-the-iud
Article published on June 22, 2011 SO it seems like OBGYNs are coming around!
@PrettyNicola I used to think you couldn't either! The Mirena commercials totally pushed that logic, but then I asked my Gyno, and she was all "Nope, great option, had mine for years." Apparently it's just easier to insert if you've had a baby because your cervix is all, "oh, sure I got this." Mine was all "WFT! That hurts." But that goes away pretty quickly.
I'm going on 3 years and love it.
@Maria My gyno suggested Mirena about a year ago (I too, am babyless)and it ended up puncturing my uterus and floating around in my guts which then required thousands of dollars worth of emergency surgery. So, obviously I am not in the "safe for most women of reproductive age including sexually-active teens and women who have never been pregnant before". just a possibility to be conscious of before everyone gets all IUD crazy.
@madamvonsassypants Um, maybe your tilted uterus is tilted in a particularly non-IUD-having way, but my titled uterus handles it just fine. Though they had to straighten it out briefly during insertion which hurt like crazy, I'd still say it's worth it.
@madamvonsassypants Also piling on to say that I have a tilted uterus and my Mirena hurt like a bitchface to insert but I've had it for over two years and dear god I love it.
@PrettyNicola Okay — so in my 40s, the pill just Was Not Happening for me anymore (the elder-person pill is mostly progesterone, dried me up and made me itch. All the time.) I tried to get an IUD twice. Both times they told me it would be HUGELY painful, VERY expensive, and since (gasp) I'd never had a baby it was going to be HUGELY painful (don't get me started on gynos and women who have Never Had A Baby). Basically, I had two different gynos in 4 years talk me out of it. So I looked at all the stats out there, and read all the stories about how no one over 45 gets preggo without donor eggs and the bf and I decided to take the temperature and go back to my trusty old diaphragm for backup. That worked for 2 years until I got careless, thinking I was too old to get pregnant. Guess what? Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. So, we decided to terminate (too old, he never wanted kids, the idea of a toddler meltdown in the grocery store when I was 50 filled me with horror) and I asked my provider for an IUD. She ordered one. A week later, when my appointment came — no IUD. The company said "oh yeah, could take a couple of weeks." I lose my mind. We call all over looking for one — no dice. At my 2 week checkup, have to get my poor cervix cranked open again (ask for lidocaine, and really, I've had dental procedures that were worse). Some crampiness for a few weeks, out several hundred dollars (crap insurance) but totally worth it.
WFT doctors?! If they'd just given me one when I asked for it the first time, at 42, I would never have been in this spot. I'm still so pissed off I can hardly stand it. Fucking patriarchal bullshit — I mean really, can having an IUD inserted hurt worse than an abortion? than having a BABY come out of there? Fine, it hurts, I can deal with that. Don't tell me what I can and can't do with my own body.
I have an IUD and have never been pregnant. It works like a charm without the use of a computer and it only cost me $50 thanks to my insurance.
Editor, please please please please please make a note in this article that you DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE BEEN PREGNANT TO GET AN IUD because this is MISINFORMATION and could harm other ladies reading this.
@kimberly d Eep, yes. Updated.
@Edith Zimmerman
This may just be me lacking comprehension skills, but when I first read the edit, it sounded like the author was saying that she had been pregnant before.
@based_goddess same here, I totally read it as she'd been pregnant
@Sarah in Japan GAH. OK, I see what you mean. Tweaked again. Sorry, I've been botching this.
I have an IUD and have never had children. It took me a few tries to find a gyn who would do it (most are generally averse to them because of some scares from the 70's) but it's fine.
Pros: It's always there, never have to think about it, reliable
cons: longer periods, it hurts a lot to get put it, sometimes you can feel the strings and that's weird.
I got an x-ray recently and I could see it in the films and it made me laugh a little bit, like – oh, hey, you're still there, phew!
@parallel-lines lol. It is the perfect BC for me, but sometimes I literally forget about it for weeks at a time and I freak out and have to check for the strings cause otherwise I think I'm 3 months pregnant heh.
@parallel-lines YES. I heart my IUD. 4 months in, and my periods are pretty much back to normal. Strangely, my ovulations were much more problematic on the IUD, (middleschmertz for like 6 days?) which the docs said made no sense – but those have also simmered down.
IUD gets two thumbs up from me and my boyfriend.
@teenie My first two post-IUD periods were some of the worst I've ever had–so bad I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it and probably would have had it taken out if it didn't hurt so much going in, but now it's fine and I'm glad I stuck it out. No hormones and no muss/fuss.
@parallel-lines These are great things to hear! I have been contemplating an IUD b/c I am freaked out more and more by hormonal BC (on Yaz for year and so far no blood blots, but I still worry). I have known women who have had success with IUDs, but have also heard horror stories about how awful it hurt to insert and then the after effects of nausea, acne, headaches, etc. Any further words of wisdom?
@Argyle It varies for every woman – for me it's been (knock on wood) pretty smooth sailing. The initial insertion hurt kind of like the worst cramps you've ever had, but I didn't take any ibuprofen beforehand, either. That lasted a minute or so, and then for the rest of the day, I had cramps and took ibuprofen every few hours. The next day, everything was fine, and I went running/worked out the day after.
It's been a month and a half so far, and I just got my first post-Paragard period – I've always had light periods and this was no different. I did take 400 mgs of Vitamin E daily (which is supposed to help) daily.
Again, it's different for every woman and I know I've been incredibly lucky (yay uterus!), but here's a good story to hopefully balance out some of the horror stories!
@Argyle What my doctor told me is that there are ZERO side effects like those you describe from the non-hormonal copper IUD. The most common s/e from the copper iud is heavier periods with more painful cramping.
She explained that many women go off the pill, then start the IUD, so if they experience side effects like nausea, acne, headaches, this is from discontinuation of their hormonal birth control, not from starting the IUD. Many doctor, because of this, may advise that you take a hormonal birth control break for a couple of months to see how your body reacts. Then, if you decided non-hormonal is the way to go, an IUD may be a good choice for you.
There is also a hormonal IUD (mirena, right?) but it's such a low dose, many women don't experience significant side effects from that.
@parallel-lines Additional con – they can lull you into less than safe complacency. Please remember to use condoms; it's hard to think straight when you are drunk hooking up; there are consequences to sex other than babies. STDs folks, I'm talking about STDs.
@teenie I think I remember you from a past IUD post. Yes. Everything.
@no way Also agree wholeheartedly. A guy once asked me if we could do it without condom because I was on bc and I was like, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!!! I am not endangering my health just so you can, uh, feel me better."
@Everyone – the only thing I have experienced with my Paragard IUD (copper, no hormones) is ever-so-slightly heavier, more-noticeably-longer, maybe-more-frequently? periods. And cramps, but those happened regardless; now I can just sense the inner workings of my uterus better than before.
@no way GNARLY STDS. THAT YOU HAVE FOREVER. DON'T RAWDOG A RANDO!
Sorry for shouting, it's just that being of the latter Gen X "Hey, just in time for losing your virginity we've got this new thing called AIDS" generation, condoms were generally a must. I was past 30 the first time I had sex without one. And as a result less herpes, etc, in my cohort for sure.
@dokuchan "DON'T RAWDOG A RANDO!" should be embroidered on pillows and handled out to everyone once they become sexually active.
YES I second the IUD for never-pregnant ladies!! I've had the copper (non-hormonal) one for about 4 years now and it is LOVELY. No remembering to do anything (take a pill, my temperature etc.) ever, which for my forgetful and schedule-averse self is ideal. It made my first couple of periods after getting it heavier than usual but has evened out since then. IUD-evangelist!
So, you gonna write back when you get pregnant? This is a fancy way of saying "rhythm method". You just have a computer doing it now.
For the ladies who don't want hormones, get a paragaurd IUD! I've had mine for 2 years now (no kids, under 30). And your IUD lasts 12 years, without insurance, you can get it from Planned Parenthood on a sliding scale (mine was $100 with insurance).
@DrFeelGood yeah, my first thought was "holy shit, she just paid nearly $500 for something only marginally more reliable than the ol' pull-and-pray."
Edited to add: Okay, that was a little insensitive of me. It just blows my mind that something like this would work? Maybe I've been indoctrinated by the Birth Control Industrial Complex? Am I just paranoid? Because more power to you if you trust this, and that's awesome, and I genuinely hope you don't get pregnant. But relying only on this isn't something I could ever do.
@DrFeelGood No. The rhythm method just counts days and doesn't take into account ovulation symptoms like temperature, mucus, and/or cervical position. Fertility awareness is *not* the rhythm method, and it works. Page 5 of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" is available as a preview on Amazon and explains this.
@Riff Randell heh. I mean to each his own, I should probably know more about my cycle, since even before the IUD when a doc would ask when my last period was, I would just usually make something up. Anyway… yea, I don't think I trust any form of BC that was "invented" (researched, I guess) by the Catholic Church.
@DrFeelGood I'm happily on hormones, but this is not at all like the Rhythm Method — did you read the post, or the links, or anything about FAM?
@thebestjasmine Mea culpa, I assumed that with rhythm/calendar methods, you also took your temp.
@Jillsy Sloper So I did some reading and sure it works, up to max of 97% -98%, with perfect use. Skimming quickly some studies from Am Obsetrics and Gyno… typical use has failure rates upwards of 25%…. no thanks! Even if these numbers are conflicting (other studies report 1 – 2% when you really know what you're doing), I'd rather not have a range of somwhere between 1 – 25% for my preferred method. Kids aren't an option for me now, for others, this may be an acceptable BC method.
@DrFeelGood Yes, of course! IUD and hormonal methods are definitely the most reliable, but if those aren't an option for whatever reason, I think FAM is something to consider along with (or, in some cases, instead of) barrier methods. I didn't mean to sound touchy about this above, but I feel like maligning it as identical to the "rhythm method" does women a misservice. It can teach you a lot about your cycles, which is valuable in itself.
@Jillsy Sloper That's a good point that I hadn't thought of. And I was totally unaware that there were separate methods, so my bad on that front. My first reaction was a little knee jerk, like, hmm, call me when you're pregnant girlfriend. Which was wrong. Look at us, being all civil on the interwebs…
@DrFeelGood I think part of that failure rate is people going "Oh shiiiit, I'm really horny but I'm fertile. Hey, you know what? Let's do it anyway and hope I'm wrong. Is that a good idea? That's a good idea. Let's do that." Because if you're using FAM because your religion declares barrier methods verboten, you're typically horniest when you're ovulating, so there's a lot of impetus to screw anyway and cross your fingers. If you're totes okay with condoms, you just use combine it with a barrier method for fertile-days sex instead of relying on abstinence. But I don't think that shows up in the stats in the same way that they don't count couples using condoms+HBC in the failure rate for condoms. The stats are for just FAM.
you can't get pregnant from anal. just sayin'.
Thirding the IUD for non-pregnant ladies! I am 25, never pregnant and got the copper IUD (Paragard in the U.S.) about a month ago and it has been amazing. Do NOT let doctors dissuade you of this as an option.
My inner conspiracy theorist thinks this is a partially an excuse for doctors/pharmacists/drug companies in the U.S. to prevent women from getting something that protects them for over ten years (five for Mirena), given that they will lose the copay, etc. from women shelling out for monthly birth control pills.
IUDs are the most popular form of birth control in the rest of the world (where health care tends to be more socialized…) for a reason!!!
@lalaland I agree that it's TOTALLY a drug company conspiracy. IUDs are the most-used form of birth control outside of the U.S. I don't trust any doc who says you can't have one.
I'm actually considering getting an IUD. I recently talked about it with my gyno and she was very very pro-IUD and said she had one (a mirena) herself. Made me feel much better. After reading some of the comments here, I'm feeling more confident in going with the totally non-hormonal paragard. Please share all of your experiences/advice.
So I should apparently subtitle this: "And also, a lie that my gynecologist told me." I'm excited to hear that so many of you have had gotten IUDs and are happy with them. The more discussion that people can have about all of the many ways to not get pregnant, the better.
@Justine Garrett Check out this site:
http://iud-divas.livejournal.com/
I obsessively read through every post on this site, as well as talked to my doctor friends non-stop before I got mine. Do your research, obviously there are reasons why an IUD may not be recommended for an individual, but never having been pregnant is NOT one of them.
@theinvisiblecunt See above! You can now leave work informed. Glad you liked the article!
@Justine Garrett Oh yes I think it's really criminal… I've never been on hormonal BC, but when I got absolutely fed up with condoms, I went to the doctor without doing a lot of research and asked about the IUD. They said it wasn't for me… I walked out of the office with a script for Nuva Ring… I couldn't do it, so I did a lot of my own research and finally went to Planned Parenthood, who are awesome about IUDs. Some of the lies I got were:
"Only women done having children get them because it will make you infertile"
"women without kids can't have them"
"The doctor will have to measure your cervix beforehand"…
When I told the nurse at PP all these things she just looked at me like I was crazy…
@lalaland Thank you!
@DrFeelGood Another thing they tell people is that IUDs cause abortions, which they don't.
I'm adding myself to the chorus of IUD boosters, here. Anyone who tells you you can't have one because you've never given birth is sorely mistaken – of course, there are legitimate physical reasons not to get one, like if you have a tilted uterus or your cervix is messed up or something like that. But if that's not the case then I HIGHLY recommend the IUD. Mine only cost about $40 at Planned Parenthood with insurance, and I love it.
I mean, more power to you if the temperature machine thing works for you, but I could never do that. I'd be terrified.
@Riff Randell yeah in theory this sounds nifty but I don't think I'd be able to sleep at night ever again. And I enjoy sleep a lot so … no.
@Riff Randell My impression (based on only anecdotal accounts) is that one of the reasons the IUD is less frequently recommended for people who have never been pregnant before is because it hurts a LOT more to put it in if you haven't had a kid. That alone is a reason I would never want it.
All this rah-rah IUDs talk is making me sad again that my wacko uterus expelled mine twice. I miss you, Little Mr. T.
@katerrific I have another wacky IUD story for you. This girl I know got one put in and had to get it removed a week later because it gave her full-body hives. Apparently she is among the 4% of people who are allergic to copper. Bummer.
@elysian fields Wow… that actually makes me feel better. I guess it could have been worse for me!
@katerrific Ouchy! My mom had one back in the 70's and said she "gave birth" to it at work. Seriously traumatic.
My friend accidentally sucked hers out with a diva cup, so IUD ladies: for the love of god, do not use menstrual cups that suction to your uterus.
I tried NFP and got pregnant twice. Granted, I was using a computer program, not the fem-bot, so maybe it's improved? I don't know. According to the system, my boyfriend's sperm must have entered a vaginal worm-hole or had a little spermie time machine in order to still get me pregnant. My doctors were pretty surprised too. Fortunately/unfortunately, they both miscarried, so no unexpected kiddos for us, although the recovery from the hormones and the sense of loss from that sucked balls.
I have a copper IUD now, and love the pants off of it. We'll be ready in a couple years, hopefully my doctor can help me keep a baby then.
@teenie, I love pussy and astrophysics as much as anyone but in the future let's keep some more distance between "vaginal" and "worm." What is it they say at catholic school dances, leave room for the holy ghost? Let's do that
@theinvisiblecunt HAHA, ok, i hear ya. i hope you got something else from that besides "vaginal worm hole"…
This is great, trying to decide what kind of BC to get–I can't do combined hormone birth control cause of migraine issues (apparently higher risk of stroke) so my options are Micronor (which I'm on now), shots, implanon, or IUD. I like the idea of being off hormones so I was considering the copper one… I'm worried about 1) the pain of getting it inserted 2) me or my boyfriend feeling the strings? 3) heavier flow and stuff 4) bad skin because of no hormones…
thanks for this discussion!!
@alix_rae I have the hormonal one, so I can't speak for the last two, but:
1) It's different for everyone. One friend felt practically nothing and went on with her day; another friend of mine passed out from the pain. For me, it hurt like a motherfucker, but after some rest and a day or two hopped up on Ibuprofen I was perfectly fine.
2) They'll be pretty easy to feel for a couple of weeks. Your gyno can trim them if they're too long at first, but it's not a big deal because after awhile they'll soften up and curl back around the cervix. Mine are pretty much un-noticeable unless I really go looking, which is great.
I've had mine for about six months now, and I haven't had any problems at all. I highly recommend an IUD if you can swing it.
@alix_rae Someone else mentioned it already, but http://iud-divas.livejournal.com/ is a wonderful resource with people who have questions like yours. Also, find a practitioner to talk to who has a lot of experience with them – either a regular gyno or your local Planned Parenthood, because there is a lot of misinformation about them, even in the medical community. Also, I was absolutely terrified beforehand because I did a lot of internet research… just remember, the majority of people with totally normal experiences with a medical procedure usually aren't the loudest voices out there.
@DrFeelGood and @Riff Randell, thank you, definitely going to check out that group. The latter is a good thing to keep in mind! I'm picturing something akin to getting a brazilian, but like… inside?
@alix_rae It is painful, but over very quickly. Then you're likely to feel crappy for the rest of the day, but not worse than bad cramps, but everyone's rxn is different.
My main advice would be to take 1,000 mg ibuprofen several hours before insertion, and go to someone who does insertions all the time, since they will be more skilled at it.
As for once your body gets used to it, the cramps really depend on the person – mine are particularly bad during ovulation and sometimes right at the beginning of my period. I've learned how to manage mostly with diet, exercise, water and my bff, ibuprofen.
@alix_rae all this talk about birth control and you're the first i've seen mention implanon.
i was beginning to think that i'd been conned.
i seriously love implanon – i've had no massive side effects except my periods are slightly irregular. But they're lighter than they used to be on the pill.
And because it's in your arm you can feel it for reassurance, and it doesn't sound half as painful as a IUD.
i love my implanon.
@sparkles hmm, that's good to hear. I was thinking that was what I was going to go with, because I'm a little scared of the IUD insertion pain. But I asked my doc about it and she said she knows people who aren't crazy about it, and have gained weight; she also wasn't crazy about the constant uninterrupted flow of hormones–though I'm not sure if it's a higher dose than Mirena, because that seems similar?
@alix_rae I have the Mirena (had to go off estrogen-based BC when I had a pulmonary embolis; don't do that, it's no fun) and I love it. The insertion wasn't too bad (though not exactly fun times). I'm late to this thread but haven't seen anyone answer the boyfriend angle – mine said he could feel it for a little while right when I got it, which was somewhat uncomfortable, but then the threads softened and he didn't notice it anymore. Plus, he was pretty happy that we got to drop the condoms, so no real complaints from him. I didn't gain weight or have any other problems, and my periods stopped entirely, as did my (previously bad) cramps. I stopped having periods when I was on regular BC as well, so of course your experience might be different.
as my doctor explained to me, it's way more difficult to insert an IUD in someone that's never been pregnant and that makes a lot of doctors unwilling.
so not the same as impossible though, she had to try twice to get mine in but it's in and working fine.
@Liz Roudiani@facebook I would say to that doctor, "Wasn't medical school also difficult? DO YOUR JOB, DOC!" Actually, I would not. I would probably be way more polite.
I have/had a Lady Comp too! Don't have much time to add anything substantial, but I will say that it really doesn't work if your cycles are irregular. The Lady Comp people say it is, but if your cycles are extremely unpredictable, like mine (skipping periods for months at a time, never any idea when/if you'll get your period in a given month, etc.), this just isn't reliable. Unfortunately. If anyone is in the market for one at a steep discount, seriously, let me know! (You can purge all the previously recorded data and it'll be good as new.)
@bunB Yeah, I'd like to give it a shot! Can you email me with details? freshandrefreshed at gmail dot com. thanks!
I am staunchly anti-hormonal BC after being on Yasmin for 7 years and then getting off of it. I decided to discontinue it after the generic form (Ocella) RUINED my body. Exactly a year off and I still have terrible side effects–a third of my formerly thick hair fell out, I'm battling bloat, and a myriad of other symptoms. I just want my body to go back to normal.
I'll definitely look into this; I've decided that I don't want to put anything else hormonally-altering into my body ever again. Condoms work for my boyfriend and I, but this seems much easier and cost-effective in the long run.
I feel like another myth that is propagated (besides the IUD one) is the one that the only 100%-effective form of BC is the pill.
@marigny Hi, I hate Yasmin so much also. I keep switching gynos because every single one wants me on the pill as a means of controlling my cramps, bleeding and awesome adult acne. No. No means no. No BC pills for me. I can't wait until I find a doctor who listens respectfully and has something to offer me other than BC pills, condescension and judgment (for never wanting to have children).
@vanillawaif As a result, I haven't been back to my gyno; currently on the search for another one. All she wanted me to do was put me on a different pill. I trust medical judgment (I actually work in a hospital) but I feel like there should be a bit more depth to the diagnosis instead of just fucking with my hormones even more.
@marigny I work for a really thoughtful doc (unfortunately, not a gyno) so I absolutely know that there IS a doctor out there who will do something other than whip out that script pad and then attempt to scare me into taking more BC pills. I really hope you find one who makes you feel heard and that your symptoms ease up.
@marigny I was on Ocella for 4 years and I had so many GI issues, I have gained a ton of weight and I am still losing my hair a year after stopping taking it. If you haven't yet, try taking PB8 (or any other pro-biotic) twice a day and evening primrose oil two to three times a day. I think they are helping me, maybe? I am really against going back on hormonal BC but I have developed adult acne and my paragard is the most painful thing ever, all the time (but so convenient).
@vanillawaif Spironolactone can sometimes help with the acne, since it inhibits testosterone. But it's got some issues, too, since it's usually used to control symptoms of polycystic ovarian syndrome, so obviously someone with an MD would be better equipped to say. Wow, that was a useful comment…
i have a lady comp also. been using it for about 4 years I reckon. Works great. The only thing is the battery is kaput and it has to be plugged in all the time which was not as advertised and a bit awkward if one is camping and whatnot. I am fairly regular and get about 10 red light days out of the month, which isn't too bad? The days I REALLY wanna do it are red days, of course, but that's OK because it's worth it to not deal with the Pill or the IUD or the diaphragm. I am not an IUD lover, that thing made my periods from hell and they did not improve in the 6 months that I gave it.
@scojo i think that's the difficulty with FAM – when you're not taking hormones to prevent ovulation, you're really feeling sexytastic when you're ovulating, and then…. DAMN YOU RED LIGHT!!!
If only there were other means of having sex! But there aren't.
@melis Or, you know, condoms.
I have a spiral, hormone-free. I'm not sure if you use the word spiral too…"Intrauterine Device"?. Anywayz, it's this one: http://www.epgonline.org/viewdrug.cfm/drugId/DR002735/language/LG0001/drugName/GYNEFIX and I love it. No more freaking out because of Yasminez, microgynons or whatever the pills are called…:)
even if you don't use it for BC, I really second the notion that all women should at least learn how to chart their cycles. I was so ashamed to read The Garden of Fertility at age THIRTY ONE and realize I literally knew nothing contained within it. No idea what ovulation really was, what it meant, how it happened, what "being fertile" even means, etc. etc. That book completely blew my mind. I really think it is so upsetting and sad that girls aren't taught this stuff from an early age. So many dreadful BC mishaps would have been averted…
and after awhile you get to where you don't really even need your thermometer to tell you where you're at in your cycle. Learning your body's rhythms is so empowering and feels great–you notice all these little signs and differences from day to day that you didn't notice before. I don't use charting as my BC method (because I am a scaredy-pants), but I know people who do, and who have never gotten pregnant even after years.
I think a lot of us don't realize–until we read a book and learn about charting, etc.–that there are MANY MANY MORE DAYS in a given month when we are COMPLETELY INFERTILE than there are fertile days. Like, where it is physically impossible to become pregnant. I had no idea!
Anyway, this is just a vote for charting for its own sake.
note: if you're on hormonal BC, charting is meaningless as you don't have a cycle, so disregard this if you are on the pill or whatever.
was anyone else ever on Depo Provera? I was for 2 years in college and it was SO BRUTAL
awww I started to be all THIS IS SO INTERESTING! and then I read the part about it being meaningless if on hormonal BC. oh well.
@dracula's ghost Yes! Now that I am off BC and actually trying to get pregnant, it's sort of amazing what a difficult proposition that is and how often I could have been having sex without a problem. Now I am very sad about the 11 years I spent gaining weight and losing all my hair thanks to hormones — my handy $8 basal thermometer is giving me all the info I need.
@dracula's ghost Oh my god, no. I have NO interest whatsoever in knowing my cycle that intimately. Nor in "taking stewardship of my body" by using menstrual cups, gladrags, etc. I want to have one day of warning cramps, soak up my period with disposable products, and then throw it out without ever knowing if my cervix is big or little or mucus-y.
ah. IUD. Sorry, translation problem solved.
I'm starting to come around to the idea of hormonal birth control. I have had some CRAZY moodiness, I mean really severely out of whack moodiness for somebody who comfortably describes herself as "very very emotional" to begin with. It's subsided somewhat as I've been on it for longer.
I haven't had any other side effects really – some nausea at first, less than 5 pounds of weight gain which could be from recently starting a new job as well..
I'm on ortho tri cyclen lo by the way. I do worry that the "low" aspect means it's less effective than other HBC?
I worry enough that the HBC isn't working on a month-to-month basis, to switch to calendar method. Even computerized calendar method.
My question is does Lady Comp provide for those sperm that can supposedly live in the woman's body for like 48 hours? So if you have sex on a green day, but you have a red day two days later does that mean some of the 46 hour old sperm might still be able to impregnate you? Or does Lady Comp somehow *know* and it gives you a yellow light or whatever two days before you are going to have a red light?
Or is that 48 hour thing just a fib they told us at PP to get us to wear more condoms??
@scully On the FAQ's of the Rax Medical site (which sells Lady-Comp), this is what it says:
http://www.raxmedical.com/faq.php "Yes, the Lady-Comp fertility computer does take in to account the lifespan of sperm. Generally most women with regular cycles can expect to receive at least 8-10 red-light (fertile days) per cycle. The majority of green-light days (infertile) occur after ovulation and continue until just after menstruation. The Lady-Comp also accounts for the possibility of two ovulations occuring within the cycle. In order to assure 99.3% accuracy on green-light days all these factors and personal variations in BBT must be included in the computer's calculations."
@scully I am curious about this as well. I've had two long term boyfriends (that I haven't used condoms with), one of which I think is shooting blanks cause we used some wackatack spermacide and nothing happened. However my second boyfriend (now husband) knocked me up twice, but maybe that was my bad cause he already has two kids? We were using the sponge and the lady at the abortion clinic was all "the sponge just holds the sperm in". Thanks! Anyhow based on this very limited research I think some guys do have super sperm that wants to be freeeeee. But I would like a science person to maybe confirm or deny. I've always been curious.
PS I now have a Paraguard IUD. It is the best thing I ever did for my health.
@LRMG ahhh spermacide is the worst!! so glad you are not using it anymore!!
Registered to echo the outrage re outdated IUD opinions. I'm 29, never given birth, so far so good with the Paragard. 99.4% efficacy with no room for user error, low cost and no hormones. For those curious about IUDs, I can't say I think the IUD Divas LJ community is the healthiest place to hang out. It struck me as a place for hypochondriacs to work each other up into a frenzy. "About to poop for the first time with my iud – really nervous!" Paranoid fantasies and outliers with uncommon issues. That's the last thing you need to be reading when you're getting used to an IUD in your body. I finally closed my browser and called my dr.
@SadieHawkins and I do see why this would be appealing, as a person unwilling to go back to HBC. I'd consider it if the IUD didn't end up working out at some point for some reason. But I'm sad to hear the IUD was so quickly skipped over based on a dr's misinformation. Even if it's not the right decision, it's worth more consideration than that given what we now know. And I doubt my medical insurance would pony up $500 for this device – Paragard was covered.
@SadieHawkins Hahaha I definitely remember reading that post! It's a concern, you know? In all seriousness, definitely take any forum on the Internet with a grain of salt, but for me, it helped reading about people's experiences, as there was more of a balance of horror stories and happy stories on the IUD Divas LJ than most of the other sites I looked at (a lot of, I had an IUD and am now mysteriously pregnant!!!).
But also, talk to your doctor.
Thank you for sharing this. Does any one know about using these post pregnancy?
First, to all the IUD evangelists on this thread: IUDS DO NOT WORK FOR EVERYBODY.
Let me repeat: IUDS DO NOT WORK FOR EVERYBODY. Every time there is a discussion about birth control on The Hairpin or the larger internet, I feel like several someones have to show up and derail the conversation, all like "why are we talking about these other birth control methods when EVERYONE SHOULD JUST GET AN IUD LIKE ME?" You are right that IUDs are highly effective, economical and work very well for many women. It is really shitty that gynecologists are so routinely mendacious. BUT IUDS DO NOT WORK FOR EVERYONE. I got one, never having been pregnant and having been advised that I was not an ideal candidate for that reason. I bled constantly and was in terrible pain daily for the entire 8 month period that I had the bloody (har har puns) thing in! I was told by my gyno, repeatedly, that I "would adjust after a couple months," but after a lot more than a couple months passed, I decided I needed to do things like have pain free days and sex again, and I found a different gyno to yank it out of me (the first one refused? Ugh). I have no physical condition that would explain my body's reaction to the IUD, at least that my shitty-ass gyno could discern.
I understand that my reproductive system may be the special-est of snowflakes, and that the IUD is great for many many people. However, it kind of irritates me when folks on the internet act like it is some kind of universal solution! It is not. Haha.
Second: Thank you so much, Justine, for writing this! You are soon to have made a giant positive change in the life of an internet stranger. I offer as proof of the specialness of my junk the following list of birth control methods I have tried and discarded due to horrific side effects ranging from suicidal ideation to chronic kidney infections: 5 or so different kind of birth control pills (including yaz), a paragard IUD, implanon, the nuvaring, the today sponge, various other spermicides, and a diaphragm. And my hubby couldn't finish with a condom on until very recently. I stumped Planned Parenthood AND my regular gyno. Pretty much the only thing I haven't tried is natural family planning, mostly because I can't really tell when my vagina is "tacky." I'm totally gonna buy a Lady-Comp! If this doesn't work for me, I am clearly not meant to control my fertility and I will have to learn to accept my fate as the next Michelle Duggar.
@dakdakdak I get what you are saying, and I don't disagree. I just think that IUD people (like myself) often turn into evangelists for it because we are often outliers. I don't have any other female friends with an IUD. I think we often push push push for women to get on the IUD because there is so much misinformation about it. Also, consider that birth control is often presented as take a hormone or get lost in this country, so I think that is another reason for IUD mania.
But as I said I do get your irritation, I only tell women about my IUD experience if they have interest. Other than that I really enjoyed this article and am glad to know about this Femputer as another non-hormone way to not get knocked up.
@dakdakdak You're welcome! I am so glad that my experiences could be helpful to you.
@dakdakdak sure it doesn't work for everybody…as well as hormonal birth control doesn't work for everybody. The only reason I'm spreading my IUD-word is because I'm so very glad I finally found a way of birth controlling that doesn't make me feel horrible and (yay!) doesn't involve condoms. Lots of women I know never even thought about IUD because they only know stories of their mother who got inserted something the size and weight of an anchor back in the daayyys. I'm sure lots of 'evangelists' don't mean to be evengalistical (?) but are just as happy as I am. The 'OMGWTF I found this really great tv-show/boy/girl/hobby/make-up remover etc.' – way. Not in the 'if you don't want an IUD you'll go straight to hell'-way.
So Good luck with the Lady-Comp 
(which by the way wouldn't work for me because I'm to irresponsible for that…)
@dakdakdak IUD users are the same as DivaCup users to me – like, it's cool that you love it and you want to talk about it all the time, but I am pretty happy re: my vagina choices, and I am really tired of hearing about yours!
@dakdakdak Thanks. The "I love my IUD and I bet you will too!" crowd irks me for the same reason. I had a horribly wretched experience like yours. I'm not going to get into my specific, utterly debilitating side-effects because I'm tired of hearing it countered by people who didn't experience those things and therefore assume that my experience is the more unlikely one.
I don't want to tell anyone what to do, but…talking to your gyno/ doing your research beforehand, as is oft proselytized doesn't really ensure a damn thing. As with any hormonal or implanted BC, you're taking a crapshoot with your health and well-being. The difference is, the IUD can be a much more expensive experiment if it doesn't work for you, and the bad things that can happen are so much more heinous. Just something to consider amongst the personal anecdotes.
Mirena IUD here.
I LOVE IT.
I also had a gyno refuse to give me an IUD even though I had researched all my options before I flew to South Africa for 4 years of uni.
Came back to the US. Move to Seattle. Was unemployed for a month and took advantage of open weekdays to go and finally get the IUD I'd always wanted. Due to my being unemployed, I qualified for a fantastic program called Take Charge in WA state and thus received my Mirena IUD for FREE ($500 value) which = 7 years free BC, yo! Take that, mean gyno of yesteryear.
The best part? I now no longer get my periods! (Technically, I do, but my uterus has been emptied of life-giving lining since the second month of my IUD, so I go through everything but the blood letting)
Not only am I saving money on BC but I don't need tampons, diva cups, whathaveyou. FUCK YEAH!
(I do not understand the thinking behind wanting to have your period, hormones or no. Yes, please, I'd like not to bleed monthly from betwixt my legs.)
@femwanderluster: As much as periods are a huge pain (often literally), the "thinking behind wanting to have your period" is that, you know, it's a natural function of the female body. So I'll take my monthly crimson tide as a sign that my body is healthy and my cycle is working well. Fine for you not to want it or have it, but some of us have other views.
@Bittersweet The whole reason I'm taking birth control is because I stopped having my period regularly! The first month that it came when it was supposed to was kind of like, "well yeah, this is a pain and it's gross, but at least everything is working now!" Not having your period for three whole months is a kind of scary thing to go through when you don't know what's going on down there/inside you.
Can't help commenting a bunch on this, cause I can't do hormonal BC. Justine do you think you would have found this Lady-Comp if your friend hadn't mentioned it? When I was doing research about FAM about 5 years ago I never came across this, and I'm kind of bummed.
@LRMG I would have had no idea if Lauren had not told me about it! Since I've gotten one, I know of at least one friend who has bought one, and I've told many more women about it, who had never heard of it before.
Ugh, I hate the birth control discussion. Why? Because I'm so damned paranoid about putting any hormones or anything AT ALL in my body… to the point that I will not use anything but condoms. And believe me, I know first hand that condoms fail you sometimes, but this still isn't enough to make me pump hormones into my body. Am I being irrational? I was on Kariva (a low dose birth control pill) for about eight months and I didn't notice much mood change but I did gain probably five pounds or so (could have been that I had just moved into a dorm) and my boobs got a lot bigger. Yet, I can't bring myself to take it again. And this IUD thing, I'm sorry, sounds like a nightmare. I am such a wuss with internal pain. I am a really really squeamish person. I couldn't handle it. Ugh, I just don't know what to do anymore! I know my boyfriend would love it, but I'm so scared to go back on BC. And honestly… I hate to get so graphic, but maybe I don't want him pumping his sperm in me! Maybe I'm not ready for that intimacy (I jumped into it with my last bf). Any advice would be GREAT!
@nomorecheese I don't think you should feel bad about needing/wanting to use condoms. It's your body, right? You have every right to decide whether or not to have hormones/sperm in your body, regardless of what your boyfriend thinks.
You should totally read Taking Charge of Your Fertility though, even if you don't want to do the Fertility Awareness Method. It's amazing. Every woman should read it. You can get it at the library if you don't want to buy it.
@nomorecheese You're not irrational for not wanting to go through the years of hormonal side-effect roulette that so many women go through before they find the one Rx that doesn't make them crazy. Implanted methods have even more severe possible side effects.
The birth control ordeal is a rite of passage for so many women, and men just don't have to deal with any of it. How fucked up is that? And then a lot of guys who know they don't want children still won't get vasectomies, because they'd rather their partner continue to take care of things than have to use condoms or have a doctor mess with their junk.
This is an issue that really gets my feminist goat. It's your body, you get to set your boundaries.
YAY, no hormones! I have been HBC- and baby-free for over 3 years. It's awesome.
I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility and took my temperature and did the charts and everything for the first 18 months or so, until I realized I could rely on my, um, mucus. It's good because your temperature will only tell you once you have ovulated, but your mucus will tell you when you're a few days away from it. I'm fertile about 6 days a month.
You really don't need a $400 computer to do this for you, and everyone should read TCOYF.
@Cavendish: Every lady should read TCOYF. It taught me more than just about every GYN I visited from age 16-30.
I know the topic of this post and thread is hormonal/non-hormonal birth control methods, but it always surprises me how many people commenting on topics like this don't (want to) use condoms. I'm curious–is this at all a cultural thing? I live in the UK and most of the guys I've been with (two of them in a long-term relationship, the others in friends-with-benefits circumstances where we trusted each other) have been kind of paranoid about contraception they can't see, even when I was also on the Pill. When it's come up in conversation with male friends I haven't got naked with, they seem to have similar feelings.
I know some people find condoms uncomfortable, or may have allergies to the material and they cost more than some other forms of contraception etc, and I don't want to berate anyone for not wanting to use them, but they also make cuddling afterwards so much less messy and for peace of mind I can't think of a better method. Is there a different attitude towards them in the US? Or do I just have a very homogenous, pro-condom set of acquaintances?
@glitterary I, a girl from the US, really like using condoms (especially when I was sleeping with different people on a sporadic basis), they are my #1 favorite birth control method. To the best of my anecdotal knowledge, most people think condoms are de rigeur with an unfamiliar partner, but I think it is also common to want a non-condom method when in a committed relationship, for psychological reasons. Also, I believe that some guys have trouble having sex using condoms.
I have used NFP for 6 years now and have one child (by choice). NFP is not only a great way to keep scary hormones out, it totally keeps you in line with your own body. I have a $5 thermometer from CVS and I chart my temps every morning (sometimes I forget and that's ok). After a few months of charting you really start to see the consistencies and skipping a few days is ok. There are different ways to do NFP, one with the "mucus checking" which is not for everyone and one with just temps. Obviously checking both works more efficiently but once you start to know your cycles and how your body works you get the idea. The good thing about NFP is that it's super easy to find someone to teach it to you. I use for religious reasons but you don't have to. I used BC in college and got super depressed to the point of suicidal and my skin never looked so awful. I love being completely hormone free. Because of how in tune you get with your body you can also predict when you might get sick due to unusual rises in body temp and you'll know exactly when your period is going to start. I know it's not for everyone, but all the people I know who use is correctly are able to put off pregnancy for years and years until they decide they are ready. Look up a local Creighton Model teacher, they are pretty easy to find and usually the courses are free. I am convinced this is the way to go. You have complete control of your body and your partner can become part of the decision too by helping shake you awake in the mornings to take the temp and also by looking at your chart he knows exactly what's going on with you. I highly recommend for anyone, not just people who have had adverse reactions to BC. The best part? It's free.
I know I'm late to the party here, but I just wanted to offer one more (qualified) IUD endorsement from a never-been-pregnant lady. I loved being on hormonal birth control because it was one of the few things that kept my hormonal headaches in check. But then I had a bout with scary ocular migraines and I was suddenly in the "major stroke risk" category, so it was "goodbye estrogen." If you're going to consider Mirena (the hormonal IUD), I highly recommend doing a round of the progestin-only minipill first, which has the same hormone. I thought it would be great, but for me it was like early menopause plus 72 hour migraines and utter mental insanity (my ex actually said "this is the best birth control ever– you're so crazy we're never going to have sex again"). Now I have a Paraguard (copper) IUD and I love it. Yes, insertion hurt a lot and my periods during the first six months were cramp-y and heavy, but 2 years later I hardly even remember it's there. I do still miss my Yasmin boobs though…
This looks really neat! I would actually think about doing this except that I have Implanon. Which is AWESOME and no one ever talks about it! I want to tell everyone! It's a teeny tiny little stick under my skin and it's good for three years and I HAVE NO PERIODS WHATSOEVER Y'ALL. NONE. EVER. NO CRAMPS OR 600 TAMPONS OR ANYTHING. I LOVE IT SO HARD.
@whimseywisp I logged in just to ask if anyone had tried Implanon, and here you are! How long have you had Implanon? You're right in that no one ever talks about it, as I had never heard of it until good ol' Planned Parenthood told me about it a couple months back.
I stopped taking Orthotricyclen because my period became more like a paragraph and I was bleeding constantly (as in 3 weeks out of the month with a break on the sugar pill. UGH) while on the pill. I've read a bit about Implanon and it sounds great, but I just worry that I will have the same side effects that I did with Ortho, except I won't be able to quit it as easily as with the pill. Anyone else had any experiences, good or bad, with Implanon?
@LolaLaBalc i commented further up as well but i love my implanon.
and you neednt worry about not being able to quit it as easily. its just a simple doctors appointment and they can remove it at any time.
i have had friends who have been on implanon and have gone off it because of long/heavy periods. but my experience has been good. i'll have my period once every 3 months (which suits me just fine) and i haven't noticed any mood swings (like i did when i was on the pill)
i'm definitely plus one in the implanon column.
I have Implanon and have been using it for almost it's full three years now. It's great, I never think about it because the only side effect I have is almost no periods. I hate hormones but I have horrible pms with heavy flow and for me hormones are a better choice then losing a week out of every month. It only hurt a little to get it put in and I have a small scar but that's it for me.
I decided on it because Depo made me insane, condoms worry me and ADD and pills are a bad combo. Talk to your Dr, it might be a good choice for you.
Okay ladies who are all like "I LOOOVE my IUD!!": I get it. But for someone who already bleeds like I've been shot and who gets cramps so bad it requires a 'scrip for painkillers, that's not an option. Hormones killed my sex drive and make my tatas so tender I would shriek if my boyfriend touched me, and I have a latex sensitivity.
The green-light days sound awesome. Is there any way of getting this magic machine for less that 500 bucks? Because I'm one of those working-poor types and that would literally be my rent money for the month.
@Kaitlyn Kochany@facebook I'm not sure how it is with other vendors, but I bought mine via Rax Medical, and did a payment plan. It was about 1/2 the price up front, then $29 each month thereafter for a year. It's still costs mad $$, but it was cheaper over time for me. I am not organized enough or patient enough to do fertility tracking with a fill-in chart and regular old thermometer, which is a lot cheaper. The Lady-Comp is actually a computer, and improves its offerings of green-light days with more data, and does the work for you as dracula's ghost suggests. I too have a latex allergy, and use non-latex condoms, which are great.
I couldn't handle the hormones of the pill, the hormones of nuva ring, hate condoms, and did not want worse periods. I ended up getting mirena. I love it. There is such a small amount of hormones in mirena that they dont do anything. The first month kind of sucked but I've had it for over a year now and I haven't had a period in 6 months. Love it.
@abc@twitter "There is such a small amount of hormones in mirena that they dont do anything. "
Congratulations, how wonderful, however, this is not actually true.
@Kaitlyn Kochany I really think the $8 CVS thermometer, the used copy of The Garden of Fertility purchased on amazon, and cycle-charts printed off the internet, are just as good as the $500 machine, if you use them diligently. Charting is hard/weird/confusing at first, because it involves trying to gauge subtle distinctions in vaginal moisture, so at first you're like "what does 'tacky' mean? what's the difference between 'moist' and 'wet'" or whatever. So I think people try for like one week and then get frustrated and say charting doesn't work for them. BUT! I have done this, and been frustrated, and then after awhile it starts making sense, and you get REALLY GOOD at it. And it starts being super obvious when your body is in whatever stage it's in. Now I can tell when I'm ovulating, when I'm about to get my period, etc.
I think the $500 machine probably does a lot of the work FOR you, whereas with the $8 CVS thermometer you have to do the legwork. But still, it's not that much legwork. You just read a book carefully and chart for a few months and then you've got it.
Full disclosure: I don't use this method as my BC method (I use condoms, which I hate but there you go), but I do know people who do, and who have NEVER been pregnant unintentionally. I think if you are careful and observant it can totally work. And is such a great thing to do regardless, just to get to know your body.
In The Garden of Fertility you will also learn amazing things. Like, if you go off the Pill and feel like it's been months and you still aren't ovulating, you can trick your body into ovulating by sleeping in total darkness for 15 days and then sleeping with a nightlight on in the hallway for 5 days or something. WHAT?!?? Crazy shit about moonlight and cycles and probably the Goddess Diana or something. It is so mind blowing!
Ahhhh does anyone with extremely irregular periods have any experience with the IUD? I want one, but my doc sort of sold me on hormonal birth control to regulate my cycle. I hate it though!
Also, I am TERRIFIED of the insertion part… will they give me drugs, a la people who are scared of the dentist?
I'm a fairly newly minted medical professional who does a large amount of bc- related counseling and prescribing in my day and first of all, hooray! For all the knowing your body ( and yourself) education and advocating discussed above. But also a please continue- there's lot and lots of us pro-IUD and more importantly, pro women-centered healthcare who are coming out of training every year ( and judging by my fantastic mentors, many already in practice.) So please, if you aren't happy wiu your gyno but are scared to leave and try someone new, trust yourself and your right to compassionate a d accurate care! A good MD ( or NP, etc) will work with you to find a bc form that works for and with your body and your needs and they'll trust you as the ultimate authority on your own experiences.
Also, I never comment so I'll take advantage of this one to say go CRLS!
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