Quantcast

Thursday, June 9, 2011

127

Dried Fruit in Order

They want you to eat dried fruit instead of drinking fruit juice now, so here are the main dried fruits, ranked worst to best. It's crazy no one ever thought to present things in this way before, but also exciting to be breaking new ground.

4. Raisins.

3. Dried cranberries.

2. Dried apricots.

1. Prunes.

127 Comments / Post A Comment

    radiofutura

And pineapple? What about pineapple? Also currants.

parallel-lines

@radiofutura Mango! Bananas! Papaya! Exclamation points!!

    radiofutura

@parallel-lines I know!!! (except for papaya...)

Ophelia

@parallel-lines Yes!! Mango!

cherrispryte

@Ophelia DRIED MANGO IS THE BEST OF ALL THE DRIED FRUITS.

Ophelia

@cherrispryte totally agree. love, love, love.

jackietgregory

@parallel-lines HELL YES MANGO YEAHHH

MollyculeTheory

@cherrispryte Dried mango with chili powder!

parallel-lines

@MollyculeTheory I had a package of dried mango at my desk and all I could think was how much better it'd be with lime juice, chili powder and salt.

tiny dancer

@Ophelia The 7D brand of dried mango is the best. I found it in Vegas and it was perfectly soft and sweet. Since then I've had a lot of Trader Joes, which is fine, but not nearly as good as 7D. I need to find someone to go in on a case with me.

Ozzie, The Last Hairbender

@cherrispryte Just as long as you're not talking about that sugary stuff they're selling at Costco.

rayray

@cherrispryte I totally missed the dried fruit party cos I was out drinking wine, but I clicked on this post thinking SOMEONE BETTER MENTION DRIED MANGO, because it is properly on my top 10 list of Reasons to be Happy. And lo, the Hairpin does not fail me.

parallel-lines

Uh oh, Edith is trying to make prunes happen again. Everyone line up for the bathroom.

noodge

i really truly heart prunes - it's a shame they're associated with poop. i think they're delicious!

Ophelia

@teenie mmm. totally. but the way they market them in single-serve wrappers? not so cool.

Autumn Whitefield-Madrano

@teenie I've noticed a trend toward "dried plums," which oughta take care of that problem, right?

winchesterwolcott

@teenie No, I learned here that they should totally be associated with poop. I think it was the last time Edith talked about prunes. (or maybe I just dreamt it?)

MoonBat

@Autumn Whitefield-Madrano : Yes! We all agreed years ago that the politically correct tern is DRIED PLUMS.

julia

The research was presented at the World Nut & Dried Fruit Congress. (!!!!!!)

Layla

@julia In my imagination, there's no way that wasn't founded by my late grandma

alpelican

3. Dried Cranberries aka Craisins
2. Apple rings aka The Best Camping Snack
1. Dried Cherries aka The Best Baking Ingredient Ever

elysian fields

@alpelican I put dried cherries in my salad every day. yum!

Edith Zimmerman

@alpelican Oh snap I forgot about dried apples and cherries. Those go between apricots and cranberries.

emersonmunro

@alpelican I'm eating dried cherries right now!!

laurel

Seriously, there should really only be dried cherries on this list.

elysian fields

Edith, why are raisins at the bottom?! They're sooo good in oatmeal/muesli. And what about oatmeal raisin cookies??? (Who would eat an oatmeal prune cookie?)

scully

@elysian fields If you'd suffered years of Halloween ignominy because your house was the only one on the block who gave out boxes of raisins instead of candy, you'd think they were the bottom too.

Tuna Surprise

@elysian fields - once you start putting dried cranberries in your hot breakfast cereal you will not go back to raisins. Guaranteed.

Edith Zimmerman

@elysian fields I would

I am

I DID

elysian fields

@Tuna Surprise I actually don't really like dried cranberries at all. Although I love cranberry sauce? Kind of like how I hate olives but love olive oil? Idk.

elysian fields

@Edith Zimmerman of course, of course ...

boyofdestiny

@elysian fields I'm throwing my lot in with the "Dried Cranberries Are Horrible" caucus. A lot of work needs to be done to a cranberry to make it edible, and drying just isn't enough.

wallsdonotfall

@boyofdestiny You are truly no son of New England. Cranberries for life! My mother just bought a house with its own cranberry bog and I am PSYCHED to visit (until I inevitably drown.)

boyofdestiny

@wallsdonotfall It's a true fact. I'm from Jersey, home of America's Best Cranberries. Unfortunately, they're obligated to cram inferior Massachusetts cranberries down your throat up here.

Yeah, I said it.

wallsdonotfall

@boyofdestiny Oh, now you change your tune re. cranberries when it threatens the integrity of your precious state? Flip-flopper. All you guys have are bog bodies.

ormaisonogrande

@wallsdonotfall Is that a real thing? A cranberry bog? This is by far the coolest thing I have learned in a long time.

boyofdestiny

@wallsdonotfall Bog body? Is that like loaf latch, or ham spatula?

wallsdonotfall

@boyofdestiny Bog bodies, my favorite elementary school obsession! Bog butter would make a far better disgusting body part. (And in fact, some examples ARE.)

@ormaisonogrande -- yes, so real! The Ocean Spray commercials do not lie in that respect.

thebestjasmine

@Tuna Surprise Disagree! It is so so hard to find dried cranberries that aren't super sweetened, and the sweetening tastes so fake to me. I like raisins, but am also a big fan of the golden raisin.

Tuna Surprise

@thebestjasmine - Try Trader Joes.

I would be offended by all of this negative talk about my beloved dried cranberries but I'm blissed out after having enjoyed some dark-chocolate covered dried cranberries for my afternoon snack.

Brunhilde

@ormaisonogrande Have you never seen the ocean spray commercials where the two guys are standing in the cranberry bog?

thebestjasmine

@Tuna Surprise Nope, Trader Joes only sells the sweetened ones. I have a bag of dried cranberries from TJs sitting on my desk that I occationally eat one of, then gag from the sugary sweetness, and then put away for another month.

wallsdonotfall

@wallsdonotfall Wait, I'm going to reply to my own comment here, because I can only see it when I'm logged in! Is this an anti-spam thing because it contains links?

jackietgregory

@ormaisonogrande In FarmVille the cranberries grow in li'l mini bogs. G'head, ask me how I know :{

jackietgregory

"Professor Gary Williamson said that dried fruits were often overlooked because people assumed they were too tasty to be good for you." I don't think that's right.

boyofdestiny

I'm gonna go ahead and assume that we're not considering dried dates to be a dried fruit. Because if we were, it'd be number 1. With a bullet. And in fact, there wouldn't even be a list, because no other dried fruit is in the same league.

wallsdonotfall

@boyofdestiny You forgot the "wrapped in bacon and drizzled with maple" part.

boyofdestiny

@wallsdonotfall Where have you been all my life?

wallsdonotfall

@boyofdestiny Probably in the next town over, actually. If there is a Boston meetup July 9 - 16, I will make these and bring them.

kayjay

@boyofdestiny Try them cut open and filled with cream cheese and walnuts. Oh em god.

Ophelia

@wallsdonotfall this would make me come home to MA and attend the meet-up.

boyofdestiny

@wallsdonotfall It doesn't appear as though we have a choice. I'll make sure everyone updates their calendars tomorrow.

atipofthehat

@wallsdonotfall

Datiles con bacon: dates stuffed each with an almond, wrapped in bacon, and deep fried. I'd tapas that!

Brunhilde

@wallsdonotfall Stuff it with manchego, and a marcona almond if you'd like, THEN wrap it in bacon. Hell to the yes.

marisaissleepy

@kayjay Mix some HONEY in the cream cheese before you stuff it. Hot damn.

MagentaGalaxy

@wallsdonotfall yummm to all of these! i like them stuffed with blue cheese then wrapped in bacon. known as bacon babies, loved by all. seriously, you make these for a party and everyone thinks you're a genius and it's like HELLO! i just wrapped a delicious thing around another delicious thing! also tasty: stuffed with blue or goat cheese, wrapped in a basil leaf and prosciutto and grilled to gooey perfection.

a horde of great crab things

@atipofthehat In our family the aforementioned date/ almond/ bacon hors d'oeuvres is known as 'a nut in a fruit in a meat', and due to its unfeasible levels of deliciousness, causes the same embarrassing noises to ring through the house every Christmas morning.

wallsdonotfall

Banana chips! I say this only so they can be put in last place.

(although the Vosges Habana bar with milk chocolate and plantain chips is delicious.)

melbouc@twitter

@wallsdonotfall Chocolate-covered banana chips are incredibly addictive, though.

OhMyGoshYouGuys

Hell yes, dried cherries! I love the big fat ones here in Michigan. Also, dried blueberries are kinda awesome in muesli.
Has anyone tried dipping dried apricots in dark chocolate or Nutella? So good.

alpelican

@Mere Michigan cherries for the win. Can you mail me some dried tart cherries so I can make muffins kthx

Michelle LeBlanc@twitter

@Mere oooOOOOoo Thank you for introducing the concept of dipping dried apricots in Nutella to my life.

OhMyGoshYouGuys

@Michelle LeBlanc@twitter If I can convince one person to dip their apricots in Nutella, it's all been worth it.

tiny dancer

What exactly do prunes taste like? I'm frightened by the looks of them but I think I might like them. I like other dried fruit, although I'm often disappointed by raisins. Sometimes they're too dry and chewy. Anyway are prunes supersweet? Just perfectly moderately sweet? Please hold my hand while I try one.

wallsdonotfall

@tiny dancer Klingons consider prunes "a warrior's drink." Consider it a test of your honor to taste it.

Ophelia

@tiny dancer As sweet as a dried apricot, but less dry? More fruity-seeming. Yum. Just ignore what they look like.

noodge

@tiny dancer i don't like raisins (i know I KNOW!) but i love the prunes. it wasn't until i was embarrassingly old before i realized that they are dried plums, and i think that is an excellent way to think of them. they are sweet, slightly tart, with a really nice flesh. they don't even need to sweeten them when they dry them, they're that good!

tiny dancer

You all made prunes sound amazing! Thank you. I will try them as soon as possible.

Jolie Kerr

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATES

kayjay

@Jolie Kerr Filled with cream cheese and walnuts. For realz.

boyofdestiny

@kayjay I don't know about this cream cheese and walnuts thing. I'm glad you like it, but I get very icky when cream cheese hops off a bagel.

emilylou

@kayjay/boyofdestiny Yeah, not sure about the cream cheese thing, but let's talk about dates stuffed with BLUE CHEESE?! Amazing. Then wrapped in bacon/proscuitto and broiled in the oven?! Even more amazing.

boyofdestiny

@emilylouise I'm just gonna eat mine plain, if you don't mind?

emilylou

@boyofdestiny Yes, this is allowed. I approve of plain dates as well.

elysian fields

@boyofdestiny Open your mind! so many delicious date permutations await!

boyofdestiny

@elysian fields No, I believe it! Cream cheese and blue cheese just happen to be two things that skeeve me out except in very specific circumstances. Did I not sign off on the bacon and maple syrup thing? Throw some goat cheese or whatever on there too!

ejcsanfran

@boyofdestiny: Chevre mixed with chives, chopped pistachio, some lemon zest and a little water to loosen (ugh) the mixture; pipe into date halves; top with a sprig of chive for extra fanciness!

Also, my sorta-but-sorta-not b.f. brought me dates he'd stuffed with marzipan and they were a treat.

wallsdonotfall

@ejcsanfran I wish Willie Wonka's television teleportation device were real so that we could hold a dinner party through the internet.

boyofdestiny

@ejcsanfran That sounds good!

MollyculeTheory

@boyofdestiny Cram an almond in there before wrapping with some version of pig.

thebestjasmine

@emilylouise The filled with blue cheese (or goat cheese) and wrapped with bacon or prosciutto and then grilled/broiled is the best possible way in the world to eat a date. Otherwise, I don't love them, because they're too sweet and sticky for me.

kayjay

@boyofdestiny It tastes like a little package of nutty joyous cheesecake.

Also, Joyous Cheesecake is now the band's name.

linolanayseda

I recently went through an interrogation in a dentist's chair that went like this:
Dentist: You must eat a lot of candy!
Me: ? No, not really.
Dentist: Drink soda every day?
Me: I hate soda.
Dentist: WTFF. Do you snack?
Me: Well, I keep almonds and dried fruit at my des...
Dentist: STOP EATING DRIED FRUIT YOU'RE RUINING YOUR TEETH. *dragon fire* Or brush immediately after eating it.
Me: Oh.

OhMyGoshYouGuys

@linolanayseda Oh noes. I know a lot of dried fruit is coated in high fructose corn syrup, which is totally unnecessary. Maybe check if the kind you buy is? Plus, it's easy to get it stuck in your teeth and then it sits there.

linolanayseda

@Mere I usually buy organic stuff (even those ugly brown apricots that look rotten), which I would hope isn't coated in sugar water/syrup. Anyway, scared of dried fruit now, but I will continue to eat guava paste roll-up things because fuck you, dentist, those are good.

OhMyGoshYouGuys

@linolanayseda Guava paste roll-ups? I need those. So, oh well, at least you're keeping your dentist in business. He should thank you for eating dried fruit.

Diana

@linolanayseda It really doesn't matter if your dried fruit is organic or covered in high fructose corn syrup. It's a sticky food filled with sugars that tends to get stuck in tiny crevices of your teeth. Dried fruit is inherently a bad idea for your teeth IF you don't brush your teeth right afterwards. Go ahead and keep eating it, but brush your teeth more often.

Pound of Salt

Prunes gonna prune

Trilby

Dried cranberries are called craisins. Just saying.

ejcsanfran

@Trilby: Dried blueberries = blaisins; dried cherries = chaisins; dried plums = plaisins; dried apples = crapples?

thebestjasmine

@Trilby Nope, that's just marketing. They're usually just dried cranberries.

Tuna Surprise

@thebestjasmine - Jasmine's right. Craisins is a registered trademark of everyone's favorite cranberry cartel - Ocean Spray.

Edgar Allan Bro

So glad that many someones already beat me to dried cherries (THEY ARE TOO GOOD TO BE DESCRIBED BY MERE NUMBERS) but how has no one else mentioned dried pears yet?! They're tasty! They look like lady-parts! Peaaaaars!

libs

@Edgar Allan Bro COSIGN ON THE PEARS.

Trilby

And prunes are now called "dried plums."

contrary

there is a prune liqueor that comes with a bunch of booze soaked prunes stuffed into the bottle, so there's that.

ejcsanfran

@contrary: OMG - there is also a thing at Frankie's Spuntino: Wine-stewed Prunes and Mascarpone.

http://wednesdaychef.typepad.com/the_wednesday_chef/2006/06/frankies_spunti.html

scully

@contrary I was wondering when/how someone would tie dried fruit to cocktails. Bravo.

Ladyface

I think apples and bananas should be on the list of "main" dried fruits (with dried apples closer to the worse end of the spectrum too, IMO). I'm partial to pineapple and mango chips myself. I keep meaning to try dried blueberries. Anybody had those? Opinions?

joie

@Ladyface you kids can keep your dried cherries. dried blueberries are where it's at. I put them in my baking a lot as a stand-in for *shudder* raisins.

emilylou

@Ladyface I hate to tell you this, but in my opinion dried blueberries taste like barf :(

RK Fire

Dried cranberries make an excellent, even paleo trail mix when combined with almonds and dark chocolate. Also, dried cranberries are great in cookies. HAVE YOU NO SHAME?!?

melbouc@twitter

Um...I kinda like banana chips. And dried apples. And raisins. But I don't like prunes or dates. What's wrong with me?

Favourites are mangos and apricots. Orange squishy fruit, basically. (And has anyone come up with dried oranges yet? How would that even work?)

Katie Walsh

87 comments on "Dried Fruit in Order." This be where my peoples at.

scully

@Katie Walsh You gotta love that dried fruit is the post that catches fire today.

katherine

Only one mention of currants? They're the fruit that raisins are trying to be. And at least where I buy them, the same price!

elysian fields

@katherine ehhh. currants are too puny. I will only accept them in two places: 1. scones 2. soda bread

thebestjasmine

@elysian fields They are SO GOOD in scones.

marisaissleepy

@thebestjasmine SCONES!!!!!!!!

FMoss3

@elysian fields And 3. Liqueur to flavor champagne cocktails.

yellowthings

FIGS! They're the best!

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

@yellowthings <3 black mission figs!

noodge

@yellowthings yes, but dried figs? when you've had sweet, delicious, ambrosia-of-the-gods fresh figs, the dried ones just seem so MEH.

yellowthings

@teenie I see them as completely different fruits -- both amazing! Also someone told me that wasps live in fresh figs and whenever I eat them I feel like an awesome barbarian.

ru_ri

I like to eat almond butter sandwiches with dates. Or dried apricots if there are no dates. Or bananas, fresh. Raisins are pretty much a last resort, though. Maybe I will try an almond butter and prune sandwich today!

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

Can I mansplain here and say that prunes should NOT be called dried plums. Prunes are made from prune plums (which, ok, they're still plums, but). Prune plums are no way eating plums, over-sweet and insipid, but they dry real well.

I have had genuine dried plums from when Trader Joe's used to carry them. COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! More like the dried white peaches they have now, which are also good, but variable in quality.

The best dried fruit is the banana, and not those underripe "smashed bananas" they have at TJs now. They're super-sweet, chewy in a way that's almost like taffy, and so, so hard to stop eating!

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

Actually, my super special secret favorite dried fruit is dried pomelo, but it's sweetened and impossible to find (fuck you, TJs!) and that just breaks my heart. A really "challenging" fruit, but absolutely addictive! (Did I say "fuck you, TJs!" already?)

rayray

@Butterscotch Stalin YES THIS. Why has no-one else mentioned the REAL dried bananas, not those tasteless chip things? All sticky and just the right amount of chewiness... I'm turned on just thinking about those bad boys.

winchesterwolcott

Need to put in a vote for tamarindo with chile.

Hella

Dried starfruit slices with li hing mui powder. Just try it.

brista128

Hahahaha, let's talk about how ANGRY the comments are on that news article. "What a load of tosh!" says reader bassetedge. So many feelings about dried fruit!

piekin

LADIES EXCITED ABOUT DRIED FRUIT!!!!

becky@twitter

i like the taste of dates, but can't get around the fact that texturally it feels like i'm eating a bug.

novanovanova

http://www.davidlebovitz.com/2011/06/prune-stuffed-prunes-pruneaux-dagen-fourre/

also, DATES! (especially medjool)

Post a Comment

You must be logged-in to post a comment.

Login To Your Account