Instead of catching up on the news this morning, I came across this inflatable swimming pool fountain, and spent the next two hours figuring out how to make it. Priorities. I found nothing, though, but subsequently fell down the rabbit hole of how to make champagne fountains (a.k.a. champagne pyramids — make sure the rims aren't touching), how to make champagne (difficulty: challenging), and how to make a traditional champagne toast after landing a hot-air balloon (easy).
WAIT! Here's how to make that swimming pool fountain! Haha. First things first.