Thursday, May 26, 2011



Come closer. I need to tell you something, but I don’t want everyone on the internet to hear: There are only four installments of Relationshapes left. (PAUSE FOR YOU TO SCREAM IN ANGUISH.) We need to take the most of our limited time left together — meet me under the stone archway at the edge of Website Village and I’ll sing you a song.

And now, on with the show!

Would you like to be a guest artist on Relationshapes? Draw a shape and send it to shapes@artisanalpencilsharpening.com … the best shapes will be featured in a future installment of Relationshapes!

(There were no voicemail messages this week for some reason.)

Previously: Relationshapes: Part Twelve.

David Rees is a former political cartoonist. Now he is an artisanal pencil sharpener.

23 Comments / Post A Comment


Only four more relationshapes? According my calendar, the world will end on June 30, 2011.


The reason Harold Camping was so wrong with his prediction is because he didn't figure Relationshapes into his mathmatical prediction.


Dear Mr. Rees-
Is there an optimal format for submitting guest shapes? MS Paint?

Hot mayonnaise

I'm not exactly sure why, but these are growing on me. I'm really enjoying the "ribbon" between panels. Also that last one rulz.


@Hot mayonnaise They're growing on you because they're AMAZING.


@Hot mayonnaise I luuuve the ribbons.


We've come to the end of our relationshape. Ouch. David Rees, just tell us that it's not us, it's you, why don't you?!


You're leaving us for one of those whoreish other lady websites aren't you. Just say it, we all know what we'll be seeing on Zooey Deschanel's new side project later this summer.......

Zombie Cucumber

Four more?
Can we make it less? Or are you going to surprise us all by making one of them funny?


@DenimGlow, you can submit any kind of shape -- MSPaint, collage, freehand, etc. Thanks for your interest!

@margaret_r, I would never make Relationshapes for Zooey Deschanel! I'm strictly Hairpin for life.

@Zombie Cucumber, you should check out Apple's "Relationshape Blocker" app. I think it's 99 cents.

Everyone else, thanks for your kind words. I appreciate the support. Have a great holiday weekend!


If Relationshapes were a dude, I would be crushin' on him so hard, and then if we actually dated I'd be wondering why he's all cryptic and two-dimensional. But I'd love him nonetheless.


Rye bread is the best. It's true.



Especially Levy's Jewish Rye. Not many breads belong to a religion!

(Sorry. Got carraway.)


@atipofthehat Haaaaaa carraway. Awesome.


Is...is that relationshape humping his leg?

cat of the canals

But why, why is Relationshapes coming to an end? There has to be a way to make this right. I'll start drafting emails to A Dude, A Pigeon, and A Spider- they'll know what to do.


@cat of the canals I heard that artisanal pencil-sharpening is really time consuming.

g middle name r@twitter

relationshapes fills me with weird hate-rage. i know i am so in the tiny wee minority here, and i love the hairpin and applaud people that submit, but Jesus, I cannot see the charm. I drink to its youthful demise.
*confession/delurk @ an end)*


@g middle name r@twitter you're not alone

Hot mayonnaise

@g middle name r@twitter: That's what I used to think.


I actually let out a little yelp of anguish on the T yesterday when I found out there are only four more relationshapes. Please do more drawings for us! Or at least regale us with tales of pencil sharpening. ;_;

barbara millicent roberts

David, I hope you're not ending our Relationshape because you're discouraged there were no voicemails. I've been calling all week to no avail - maybe you accidentally wrote your number wrong when you gave it to me on that cocktail napkin??

viola bruise

My best Ryelationships are usually more Sazerac and less sandwich.

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