Thursday, May 5, 2011



The tears, the jeers; the laughs, the gaffes. The highs and lows of life. They’re all here: inside the gilded frames of Relationshapes — the only comic represented exclusively by Sotheby’s Auction House.

So roll a fat marijuana joint, rub lotion on your feet, put on your wispiest negligee, lean back, and … enjoy!

I finally paid my phone bill and plugged my answering machine back in. There were 100+ messages waiting for me! Here’s just one:

“Hey Relationshapes, what’s good? It’s me, Vin Diesel. Yeah. I’m just calling AGAIN to say I love your stuff. Did you get my last message? I had called to say I left you two tickets for the premiere of The Fast and the Furious Five, but I guess you didn’t pick them up because they were still waiting there when I left the movie theatre. Come on, bro, I want to be friends with you. Call me back so we can talk about doing a collab (collaboration) — I wanna make a movie about shapes and feelings. Do you like lifting weights? I think I read somewhere that you’re really into lifting weights. I have a new weight set with more than twenty barbells. Call me.”

To view this special microscopic Relationshape, simply place your microscope up to your computer screen and enjoy!

Previously: Relationshapes: Part Nine.

David Rees is a former political cartoonist. Now he is an artisanal pencil sharpener.

17 Comments / Post A Comment


If the internet was made into a teen movie, Relationshapes would be the weird transfer student with whom I form an unlikely friendship. At first I don't understand him - he wears pleated jeans and glitter body lotion. He always has several disposable wine glasses on hand. It isn't until he returns from an extended visit to his hometown that I realized I've missed him. Because he just gets it better than anyone else, you know? Relationshapes knows.


@Dani That is one top-notch metaphor. Simply top-notch!


@Dani Made me lol as hard as the 'Shapes!



It's hard to find disposable wineglasses in the States. The kind that fold flat and come full of wine. The kind I need right now....


@Dani you're great.


Am I the only one now regularly misspelling "relationships" in emails and whatnot? When I see the spellcheck red line under "relationshapes" I'm like, "Um I'm totally spelling this right? OH!" David Rees, you sly dog, all up in my brain.


@cbrownson No you are NOT.


I took your advice about the fat marijuana joint and wispy negligee. Best relationshapes ever!


@nancydrew I don't much love the comic itself, but I read it just for that line. If I weren't in the middle of my work day...


@CyberAly To be fair, I work from home and am actually still in my robe and did recently lotion up. However, jointage will have to wait till evening time.

Caitlin Podiak

"So roll a fat marijuana joint, rub lotion on your feet, put on your wispiest negligee, lean back, and … enjoy!"

When I read this sentence, I was wearing a terrycloth robe and rubbing lotion on my legs, and I had just smoked a bowl.


@Caitlin Podiak ZOMG what happened to your avatar name? I feel like this is NEXT LEVEL STUFF.


Which non-lazy internet person used the ol' zoom in and enhance on Microrelationshapes? Surely someone, right?


@carogriffin: It honestly requires a microscope. Relatioshapes are zoom-proof.


@cbrownson it didn't work :(


@nice_belt so i gave up :)


The first one could be about my sister, except she'd be the one who drinks too much. But she has said herself that she doesn't want children because she likes cocktails too much. She drunk dialed me at 2 am last night and berated me because I had the volume on my phone. When I explained the phone was on vibrate, she proceeded to slur about how I love vibrations. I hung up.

Relationshapes, true to life.

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