Thursday, May 19, 2011


How to Not Give a Guy Your Number

"The common move among guys (I'm guilty of this one too), after getting a girl's number, is calling her phone to confirm that that it's real and that his number is now registered in her phone. Most guys will watch the girl's phone as they call it to make sure there's no funny business going on."
Rich Santos, my telephone number is 123 456 789 and then the 10 button.

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I always find the old "release the angry lemur in my purse" trick particularly effective in avoiding these unwanted conversations, personally.


Rich Santos: International Man of Absolutely No Mystery


So...then do you sit down and feel like a jackass, or angrily confront her in a bar and look like a jackass? Wouldn't you rather wait until you're home to look and feel like a jackass comfortably?


@KatnotCat Yeah, that's what baffles me about this whole thing. Aren't they just embarrassing themselves if they call your number and realize you've given them a fake one?


@KatnotCat In my experience, confront. Or they might be like, oh my god, I'm so stupid and drunk. And then you find that endearing and marry them.


@winchesterwolcott I don't know, I gave a guy my number once scribbled on a piece of paper and he didn't call for like a month and I thought I had given it to him wrong due to drunkenness. (I ended up going out with him once and not liking him, but chalk that up to life) So this strategy could verify that you had the number right.

It seems to me like the benefit of this is knowing instantly whether to hold out hope or not. It seems pretty jerk-y and potentially embarrassing though!


@jacqueline "Omg, Rick! My mistake! Had I realized you were the neurotic, controlling, needy, confrontational guy I was looking for, I would have given you my real number in the first place! Well, now that I know you're crazy and you know I'm kind of a bitch, it's ##########""


@KatnotCat My current strategy (only with the obnoxious ones) consists of saying, "I don't own a cell phone," then blatantly excusing myself to go check a voicemail on my cell phone. So I get to be the jackass, but it's more fun that way.


If it's a fake number, I just call it on my fake phone!



Hello, Edith? Thanks for posting your number! About Iceland, I totally have these two plane tickets I got from scanning a QR code....


@atipofthehat: But isn't her 123 area code in Jersey? Dealbreaker!


@ejcsanfran I contend that if Edith were from Jersey, it would only cause her brilliant star to shine brighter.


@boyofdestiny: Look, I'm just trying to undermine her so I can snag one of those tickets to Iceland from ATOTH.

Edith Zimmerman

@atipofthehat Yayyy! Iceland was just kind of creepy on Twitter, though.



I agree! She would still be Edith, but she would dress like Adriana.


@Edith Zimmerman "I will get you someday?" Spúúký!


How comforting to know that Rich will accept "no" for an answer, as if he has a choice in the matter...


That's amazing, Edith! I have the same combination on my luggage!


MIA's Paper Planes happened to be playing when I read this, so her quip about 'so, ah, no funny business' was particularly prescient to the moment...he would certainly be one that she murders.


Yup, nothing conveys self-confidence like eyeballing her phone and asking, "are you SURE you got it? Let me just make sure." Oh Rich, you are a national treasure.


does this qualify as a "move"? i'd love to see his playbook - i'm sure it's chock full of excellent tips.



"I've said many times I wish I could be a 'dude' about meeting the ladies and think: 'Wow, I'm actually calling this chick's real number on her real phone.'"


A few weeks ago some lady gave a fake number to a dude that was MY number and he wouldn't stop calling. Even after I told him he had the wrong person he was still angling for a love connection. So this...yeah.


@parallel-lines... OMG, right? Once this total rando stole my homing pigeon and it gave it to a suitor. That damn pigeon would not stop bugging me. Pecking at the window, little notes all over the kitchen, special presents on my car, trying to claw my eyeballs out whilst sleeping. I'm all, "Shut up, Pigeon! I ain't no Debbie!!!!" The pigeon sighed, "No. You're not Debbie. And you never could be--even if you tried." So then I killed two birds and got stoned. (RIP)


Edith, I am totally buying you a drink tonight for "and then the 10 button." That's beautiful.

Edith Zimmerman

@DorothyMantooth I accept! : )


Sometimes I will just text the dude the following:


Edited to add that this doesn't get him to not have my number, though. I just like drawing dicks.

Yankee Peach

I have been giving out the local PBS pledge line number to dude-bros like this for years. I always figure they'll get over their disappointment with a nice umbrella or tote bag.

Judith Slutler

@Yankee Peach I love that!


@Yankee Peach 248-434-5508 will insta-Rick Roll anyone who calls it. :D


@MsChilePepper THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU I love this idea.


I love to give out 867-5309 as my number(my name being Jenny and all...). Younger guys totally don't get it ;)

Katie Walsh

@jennysays WHAT?! Kids today.


But I immediately call when I get a number to make sure I have typed it into my phone correctly. Also, it saves her the trouble of having to type mine out. This is not only a totally innocent move, but a mildly chivalrous one! RICH IS THERE NOTHING YOU CAN'T RUIN


@DoctorDisaster Oh yeah, there's nothing wrong with the "Here, let me call you so you can have my number too." That's what I, as a lady usually do. Staring at the phone (breathing heavily?) to monitor...so much wrong.


In fairness, it never even occurred to me that I might receive a fake number. Perhaps because I don't have crippling self-esteem issues? Also perhaps because no lady has ever given me a fake number?


@DoctorDisaster Also because maybe you briefly converse with the lady in question and develop rapport while gauging interest level before asking instead of stumbling up awkwardly and blurting "you're purdy, can I call you on the telephone? give your number to me." Which is what I automatically assume poor hapless idiot Rich does.


@DoctorDisaster I do the same thing. If its some girl I just met Im not going to make her a contact in my phone but I will punch in her number and call it just to make sure the number is saved in my call history. Her having my number now is a side benefit. Ive never gotten a fake number before.

Jolie Kerr

Rich is coming to the Pin-up tonight, yes? Someone invited him?


@Jolie Kerr I gave him a fake address, but he's been following me ever since, just to be sure.


@Jolie Kerr At the very least, I hope there is, at some point, a chorus of us all saying, "Rich! Riiiiiiiich! Riiiich." in unison.

Jolie Kerr

@Bettytron I am absolutely certain that will happen. It's like how dolphins communicate with one another, really.


Give them whatever number you want, just screen your calls.


Why do girls want to be seen as "friendly" by a guy they don't want to give their number too? *confused*


@lemonyfreshk I think it's the same instinct that makes guys (or girls) say they'll call when they don't mean to. Not that I endorse either behavior, it's just really uncomfortable to overtly reject someone face-to-face. Especially if the rejectee is not a terrible person, but somebody you're simply not interested in.

Mrs. Flooflah

@lemonyfreshk No lie, every now and again, they can get sort of aggressive.

I figure if someone has exhausted all of the other tactics like telling them I'm married, or I don't live here, and other, subtler deflections and gotten to the point that they're asking for a number, they're probably not taking no for an answer to that, either, so I'd give out fake numbers just so I could make a clean escape.

My preferred number is the NIST atomic clock at 303-499-7111 because it's local to me, and it's not a well known fake. Also, it provides useful information such as the exact coordinated universal time and marine storm warnings, so it's like I'm really doing them a favor almost.


Now all I want to do is get the number of Mr. Rich Santos to give out as my fake number so he can make friends with other hapless idiots.


@foureyedgirl We don't want them joining forces though! (Actually, I guess I mean "forces," no I mean crying on each other's shoulders at bars and discotheques, neon-tinted tears cascading freely... WE NEED THE NUMBER OF SANTOS STAT!)


Way worse: when you let a guy put his # in your phone, and then he calls his phone so he can have your number. And then you never call him but he calls A BUNCH, even though he knew you were kinda blowing him off...like tricking you once means he might trick you into a date/his bed/wifedom. Why would you do that, boys??? Really, why.


Why are you letting someone you presumably don't know or like very well use your phone like that?


@melis Soooo they will go away quietly, without my having to publicly reject them? Sometimes I feel bad for dudes, if they're being polite. I don't get why that would weird you out? But then, I live in a small town and could beat the everloving shit out of any guy who tried to take off with my phone (if that's where your worry lies).


RICH do not give away our GUY SECRETS

next he will reveal that we say 'lines' that are actually 'come-ons' meant to flatter and initiate conversation! SHHHHHHH


Such a weird coincidence: why do all the hot women have numbers that start with 555?

Judith Slutler

54-46 was my number
Right now, someone else has that number


@planned/barrenhood I love this. Hairpin meetup drunk, I love this.


Is it me, or do all his attempts to get numbers also sound like the advice they give kidnapped people? "YOU WILL DIE IF YOU GET IN THE CAR! Don't get separated from the group!"

One night I met a very handsome man, who was the heir to a proscuttio empire in NY, at a party in my home town, we danced together and I gave him my number, which was a new number I didn't know that well. BUT, he did not call to check, and even though it's now going on 5 years later, I am haunted by wondering, "did he not like me enough to call when he was sober? OR DID I GIVE HIM A FAKE NUMBER ACCIDENTALLY?!" Both are agonizing to consider. I hate the parallel universe me that is eating proscuitto wrapped asparagus spears out of his navel right now. What a bitch with a good memory for phone numbers she is.

dracula's ghost

@E "What a bitch with a good memory for phone numbers she is."



@E "eating proscuitto wrapped asparagus spears out of his navel right now" - dammit, you deserved that life!


http://www.rejectionline.com/ 212.479.7990

The best (meanest) number to give out goes directly to a voicemail crushing their hopes and dreams.


RICH! Missed you, bro.


I always like to give out the Empire Carpet number, as it usually takes a few seconds to sink in.


@cloudburst "Girl, you got an 800 number?"


When I first started college I would inadvertently give my parents' home phone number or my mom's cell number to guys (because I rarely used a cell phone in high school/would just go on phone number autopilot). Whoops!


Moment of silence for the Reject Hotline.


So I've never given a fake number, but I have given several fake names to creeps at the bar that want to FACEBOOK ME. Shouldn't that be like, the opening credits to How to Catch a Predator?

Also, I once got a phone call from a super pissed-off sounding lady wondering why my phone number was written in Sharpie on her boyfriend's headboard. Which is confusing since the call came from a town I have never lived in, and I've had my phone number since high school.


I've given out a fake number many, many times - perhaps a testament to the persistence of London men? Or do I seem like a bolter? Anyway, I just recite my number, but change the last digit, and keep my phone out of sight. If guys see you with your phone out, they will pretty much *always* do the ringing-to-give-you-mon-numero thing, I find.

I've never thought of giving out an actual number... hmmm... I should've kept my ex's...


@Anne: Bahahahaha! Especially "I killed two birds and got stoned."


It was great to see the old printshop and everyone who works there again. I am excited to see a printing business still operating and growing, great job guys
Tara Padilla

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