Quantcast

Thursday, May 12, 2011

32

Guess What "Stoga" Means

"Every Monday night, I get together with my girlfriends — all moms with demanding careers — and get stoned. Then we do yoga."
The Mommyish moms are off with a bang. Or whatever the sound of lighting a joint is. Also: cocaini-pedis, heroitch 'n' bitch, methamphetupperware parties, etc. Now you go.



32 Comments / Post A Comment

km1312

if I can find mommy-friends like this, having kids is gonna be awesome.

iceberg

My eye is twitching with the effort it's taking to not be super-judgey about this.

hotdog

@iceberg are you SERIOUSLY thinking about finding something wrong with moms getting stoned? or is it moms doing yoga? I'm doing my best not to tell everyone to lighten the fuck up. Oh, wait, there, I did it.

Caitlin Podiak

@hotdog I'm totes judging anyone who would be judgmental about this.

iceberg

@Caitlin Podiak @hotdog - I KNOW, uncool, it's just my kneejerk reaction. *lightens up*

Brunhilde

@hotdog Even worse, my sister and her friends *leave their kids at home*, only supervised by their husbands or perhaps babysitters, and go on "Moms night out" where they go to BARS and DRINK ALCOHOL.

juliannasays

This is like my Monday nights except I don't have friends over and I am not a mom and I don't do yoga. But I do smoke up and then clean my apartment! And then play Portal. So no, it's not like my Monday night at all.

DoctorDisaster

@juliannasays We have very similar Mondays! I prefer our Mondays to these yoga Mondays. Yoga sounds like an awful lot of effort.

juliannasays

@DoctorDisaster Srsly. I gotta spend my time cleaning my stove and eating the last of the cheese dip.

Jolie Kerr

Oh! Speaking of Heroitch 'n' bitch, I'm working on getting my Stitch'n'Bitch going again. Interested parties can email me at the cleaning address and I'll send a big message out once I've gotten things sorted.

We'll take needleworkers of all kinds, as well as crafters, provided the crafting isn't too, too messy. Working on a space that can accomodate artistry of many stripes.

mouthalmighty

Everything about this, except the Yoga part, sounds awesome.

Monkey

Honestly, how is this even possible? I fall over 100 times during any given yoga lesson without being all light-headed and giggly. I would get a concussion and probably die.

Jolie Kerr

@Monkey I would just lie down on my mat and nap. And maybe start nibbling on my block.

kayjay

There is nothing new under the sun. I've been doing Stoga for years. Sounds like my kind of people.

Caitlin Podiak

@kayjay Yeah, I get stoned and do yoga now, and I don't really have any intention of stopping once I have kids.

kayjay

@Caitlin Podiak And there's no reason why you should. I haven't. I either smoke and walk to the yoga studio a block from my house, or I smoke, lock myself in my bedroom and do yoga for an hour or so. It is the only time I get to be completely alone, and it saves me a bundle on anti-depressants.

melis

I have insane levels of respect for anyone who is clear-headed and coordinated enough to do yoga after smoking. I can barely make macaroni.

bb
bb

@melis you should try just stretching though. man it feels sooooo good.

kayjay

@melis It helps me. My default mode is extremely keyed-up and kind of manic, and I struggle with focusing on a single task. Which is why I usually have about 10 tasks going on at a single time when I'm at the office. However, pot helps dial me down a little, and I can focus on doing one thing at a time (sort of a key component of yoga) without my mind wandering to the fifteen other things I could be doing until I've worked myself up to the point of a panic attack.

Alcohol, on the other hand, which seems to be much more acceptable than pot for use while rearing children, turns me into a scary seahag who cries. Ergo, I don't drink much anymore.

km1312

@kayjay I have the EXACT same reaction to both pot and alcohol. Glad to know I'm not alone.

PBandJ

Bath saltimbocca?

atipofthehat

@PBandJ

Ex tai chi?

hotdog

I have my suspicions that this 'mommyish' blogs may actually be written by my mother in an effort to get me to reproduce/not be terrified of having children and losing self.

Lauren_O'Neal

I assumed this was a hip new abbreviation for those Calistoga sparkling juices (do they even sell those outside of California?), but I guess this is cool too.

peachy lefever

ooh...this has inspired to finish my day out by stwerking (stoned working). thanks, mommyblog!

null

@peachy lefever The few times I've done that I worked myself up into a paranoid frenzy about seeming too happy for the work environment. Ohmygod, I'm smiling too much. Stop it, stop smiling so much. Nothing about this surreal environment is funny. No, you shouldn't say that weird thing you're thinking out loud. Focuuussss!

One of my co-workers tattled to HR about someone she assumed was on drugs when really she was giddy from being in a new relationship.

nonvolleyball

@klaus oh man, bet THAT was a fun one to clear up. who the hell goes around telling on coworkers like that? I mean, if I worked on a construction site & saw the forklift operator in the middle of a heroin nod, I'd prally say something. but, "so-&-so seems TOO DAMN HAPPY" seems like the crusade of a very bitter person.

null

@nonvolleyball She regularly drank from the crazy juice, yes! I've seen people crying at their desks and there was no apparent fall out from that, but evidently if one is happy while at work it can only be concluded that the bitch is on DRUGS.

Tina Steele Wiltzius

I don't have a problem with smoking pot and doing yoga, but I'm a bit conflicted on the overuse of portmanteaus these days.

Also, I'm pissed that I haven't been able to find good pot since I was in college. What is that? I can get a bottle of Percocet with a phone call to my doctor but there is no MJ anywhere for a suburban housewife who doesn't like Phish? Do I have to become a Mommy to get a hookup? Don't tempt me.

martinipie

@Tina Steele Wiltzius Oh man, this probably depends on where you live, state-law-wise, but get a medical club card. That shit is the jams.

permanentbitchface

This doesn't sound like much fun, actually. But it's probably because I don't like pot or yoga... I would much rather drink and play jenga with my girlfriends.

Post a Comment

You must be logged-in to post a comment.

Login To Your Account