Wednesday, April 6, 2011


Leave Mona Lisa Alone!

The archaeologists' ultimate aim is to find enough skull fragments to be able to reconstruct her face, enabling a direct comparison to be made with the Mona Lisa.

How fucking dare anyone out there [exhume the bones of the woman who may have posed for the Mona Lisa] after all she's been through!?

She [died], she went through [her entire life]. She had two [or more] fuckin' kids [who are now also dead].

Her husband turned out to be a [silk merchant], a [friend of Leonardo da Vinci's], and now she [may or may not be lying in pieces beneath a convent in Florence]. All you people care about is readers and making money off of her!

SHE’S A HUMAN! What you don’t realize is that [Mona Lisa] is making you all this money, and all you do is write a bunch of crap about her.

She hasn’t [sat for paintings] in years! Her [painting] is called “[Mona Lisa]” for a reason, because all you people want is [Mona Lisa! Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa. MONA LISA]!

LEAVE HER ALONE! You're lucky she even [sat for that one painting], you BASTARDS!


[The journalist in this Telegraph article] talked about [the fact that her bones may have actually been dumped in a "municipal site" 30 years ago instead], and said if [Mona Lisa] was [findable] she [would have her face reconstructed].

Speaking of [being findable], when is it [findable ... aah, this is slipping away from me] to publicly [display the bones of] someone who's going through a hard time?!


Leave. [Mona Lisa.] Alone. Right. Now. I mean it.

Anyone that has a problem with her — you deal with me, because she's not [living] right now.


13 Comments / Post A Comment


What the....? Dammit, I'm with Edith on this one too. It's a fucking painting! Look at it, admire it, hang poster prints all over your house, whatever. If those Italian dudes like digging so damned much, send them to go help out in Japan.

one cow.

ahahahaha! good one.


I expect the accompanying YouTube by the end of today.


Yes! In a Mona Lisa costume, of course.


I am DEEPLY DISAPPOINTED that there was no Edith Zimmerman Mona Lisa drawing for this post. I am closing my eyes and imagining a crooked little enigmatic smile...


OHHHHHHHHH. True, tip, that would be so much better...

Tom Blunt

Now all Edith has to do to complete the cycle is try to literally *become* [Mona Lisa] by getting madd hair extensions and [sitting for vastly inferior paintings].


Then people of the future will say: That's how she made her bones.


...and shave her eyebrows off, obviously.


Amazing. Genius. Love it.


I have that same expression in my passport photo.

Katie Ritter

I was so confused at first, but then I was like "oh yeah".

Jesse Hanus

Haha, this is perfect timing. Odd story, but it does relate.

In my digital design class last night our photoshop challenge was to redesign the Mona Lisa using our newly discovered photoshop skills. I wanted to shout the same thing, "Leave Mona Lisa alone!" This challenge was seriously ridiculous.

But instead of speaking out, I made her look like a Japanese cartoon character and won a $10 grocery card. Sorry Mona.

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