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Monday, April 18, 2011

37

Aw, Moms

Do you follow STFU Parents? It's a blog that screen-grabs memorable moments in parenting on Facebook, then blocks out the names so the rest of the world can enjoy/feel fleetingly superior. Today we have a look as some moms commiserate over how hard it is to have loser nerd babies (very hard).



37 Comments / Post A Comment

rj77

Odin? ODIN?????

thatsrealbutter

@rj77 I can't...

KatnotCat

@rj77

I thought mother one was talking about mothers literally comparing their children to various Nordic gods. I think that would be much less annoying, especially if done in fornyrðislag metrical style.

Anna Marquardt

@KatnotCat - as did I, and your deployment of the term "fornyrðislag" just made my day.

cherrispryte

@KatnotCat That was most definitely my thought as well.

deepomega

It's not my fault I am a genius and so naturally the baby is a MEGA GENIUS!

zidaane

@deepomega Have you seen my son's penis?

PBandJ

It drives me off a cliff when people see me on the street, with my baby, who is obviously so smart, and cute and I will be wearing this super tight jogging outfit, and carrying a laptop case, and people will just say to me, "I don't want to hang out with you, because you are in such good physical shape that you look better than models, your baby is perfect, and you clearly have a stellar career as a writer and even your laptop case is smudgeless." It makes me feel so horrible about myself, I could just leap off a building. I have to literally hold my perfectly shaped legs, and long lean abs back from stabbing myself, and ruining my brilliant babies life.

atipofthehat

@PBandJ
Gwyneth?

Argyle

@PBandJ "We've got a wood-burni­ng pizza oven in the garden—a luxury, I know, but it's one of the best investment­s I've ever made."

theinvisiblecunt

Oh Nicole McEinherjar, it's so much harder to pull off the faux-humility required for the back door brag when you've already made it clear that you think you spawn godchildren.

My favorite thing about Magen's story is the way it's purported nonfiction but narrated in third-person omniscient.

Hot mayonnaise

Passive bragging.

saythatscool

@Hot mayonnaise My little Wenceslaus has been passive bragging since he was 14 months.

Daisy Razor

Odin! Do they celebrate every Wednesday as his name day? Now I want to find a kid named Loki and send him to make little Odin's life hell.

Okay, now that I'm done with the Norse jokes, I have to say that STFU parents generally gives me an icky feeling. I don't like mocking strangers who don't know they're being mocked. It feels like an unfair advantage.

Hot mayonnaise

@Daisy Razor: My 7-year-old reads The Hairpin and mocks your comments, so you shouldn't worry about it. ;~)

City_Dater

@Daisy Razor

I know a dog named Loki!

Daisy Razor

@Hot mayonnaise It's only even if your child is named Cornelius Aristophanes, though.

SuperGogo

@Daisy Razor: Reasons the Internet Exists:
1. Porn.
2. Mocking strangers.

ThundaCunt

@SuperGogo yes...this!

Katie Walsh

Sorry Nicole, every time I see your dumbly named kid, all I can think about is slamming a horn full of mead, Viking style.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAM85DFfR24

OOOODDDDIIIIINNNN!!!

julia

This post showed up in my feed an hour ago, and that is how long I've been spending looking at STFU Parents. To blog on your blog, someone commented "When is it YOUR turn for the white dress?!" on a friend's photo and I was all "What the hell, people are like that on facebook?" to my boyfriend and now I am reading this website and I see that is just the beginning. Just the beginning of the end of me doing any work ever because WOW. Wow wow wow wow.

Jack loves to make people laugh! Judgmental posts about moms who put their kids in daycare! And of course, detailed descriptions and pictures of poops. Truly, STFU parents has it all.

KatnotCat

I can't believe Nicole would end up with an arrogant baby.

atipofthehat

My little boy is dating Edith.

atipofthehat

@atipofthehat

He's not a year old yet, but his G. I. Joe collection is irresistible.

theharpoon

@atipofthehat Does he have a 5 foot tall Barbie?

atipofthehat

@theharpoon

I think it's his Action Jackson that she loves him for.

Tom Oatmeal

I've corresponded with a super intelligent baby on the myspace.com website. We got into an argument on a message board about professional basketball. His name is GB and he lives in Michigan. He is emotionally volatile and his messages are more than likely dictated to a scientist because GB's baby hands are too tiny to type. I want to tape him to a remote control car and drive him around. It would be out of friendship.

saythatscool

@Tom Oatmeal I used to do RC Baby Racing down South on the circuit. I had to quit after that faithful night in Tallahassee when I took little Wenceslaus into turn 3 too fast and lost it.

I hit the laxatives and haven't looked back since.

theharpoon

@Tom Oatmeal I see my future all laid out before me now, and it is full of me declaring that my actions are being done "out of friendship."

atipofthehat

@saythatscool

Gwyneth?

Tom Oatmeal

@theharpoon It's important to add that because for some people, the first reaction to seeing a baby strapped to a speeding remote control car is to panic. Nope folks, I'm just driving him across the street to Wendy's. What the baby says in the drive-thru is up to him.

ThundaCunt

@saythatscool me and a friend were just discussing yesterday why bad things "down south" always happen in Tallahassee....i think its because its a funny name, but one people know of it because its a state capital...i mean its no Wewahitchka or Loxahatchee, but it will do. (* we live in Tallahassee and the RC baby racing circut is in full swing this year!!

sp8ce

Poor kid. Not only is he already a nerd in day care but his name is Odin. Double whammy...

cherrispryte

I really hope Odin grows up and has a kid named Shadow.

atipofthehat

@cherrispryte

I really hope Odin grows up.

sox
sox

@atipofthehat
I really hope Odin gets to be a kid?

scully

FF 15 years; Odin, Lucas, Aiden and Morgan are Jr College drop-outs working at the local movie theater and bonding over weed and the crushing weight pre-toddler genius can put on a young life.

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