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Thursday, April 7, 2011

103

A Guide to Crying in Public

Unless you’re one of those lucky people who lives in the middle of nowhere and never has to leave your house, chances are at some point you’ve had a mini-breakdown in a public place. It happens to us all! Normally it’s not anything earth-shattering that brings it on — perhaps you’ve had a particularly crappy day at work, or maybe you’re feeling extra tired because you had one too many glasses of free wine at that happy hour thing last night and then stayed up until four in the morning worrying that you're going to spend the rest of your life alone? But sometimes it is actually a more serious/horrible thing, like your boyfriend tells you he’s been cheating on you in the cereal aisle of a grocery store or the doctor calls you at the office and tells you to come in for some scary test.

No matter what puts you in a fragile state, once you're there it doesn't take much to push you over the edge. One micromanage-y email from your boss or a funny look from a stranger on the street or the wrong song popping up on your iPod and the camel’s back is broken. It doesn't matter that you're standing in full view of 200 other commuters, your tears (or full-on wracking sobs) cannot be stopped. It feels terrible, but there's no shame in it! You just have to ride it out and do what you can to minimize the damage.

First things first: When you find yourself on the brink of one of these emotional tornados, the best thing to do is the same thing you should do during an actual tornado: seek shelter. Never be shy about bolting from any kind of social situation if you feel tears welling up. Lie and say you’ve got an urgent phone call you have to take. Or, if you're in some kind of professional meeting, excuse yourself by saying you don’t feel so well. I generally think it’s better for coworkers/clients to think you’ve got a stomach bug than to start guessing about what personal drama is making you cry. Wherever you are, don't worry about what people will think, just make something up and get out of there.

Obviously heading to the nearest bathroom is the tried and true solution, but depending on where you are this might not be an option, in which case, get creative. If you’re at an office building or a hospital or other large corporate structure, go into the stairwell or duck into a supply closet. If you’re at a store (and who among us does not want to cry while shopping for clothes), go into the dressing room. If you’re in a restaurant or bar and the bathroom is taken, go out to the sidewalk and hide around the corner. If you’re at work, crouch in a corner of your cubicle or under your desk — or run out to your car if you have to. Just get away from people as fast as possible so you can freak out in private.

Unfortunately, as you’ve probably experienced yourself at some point, there are many instances where hiding just isn’t an option. If you can’t get to a safe space in time, you’ll just have to ride out the storm in full view of everyone. At a certain point crying in public is a bit like throwing up, it’s going to happen whether you like it or not. So you can either fight it and make yourself even more miserable or you can go with it and politely do your best not to get it on anyone around you.

Here are the three basic steps to surviving full loss of tear duct control in public:

1. Talk Yourself Down

When you feel tears coming on and you have no escape path, it’s natural to panic. But in this case that’s only going to make it worse. You’re going to have to channel your best supportive friend voice and walk yourself through it. (Inside your head; not out loud!) Start by reminding your brain that crying is natural. As they sang on “Free to Be You and Me,”

It's all right to cry
Crying gets the sad out of you
It's all right to cry
It might make you feel better

The sooner you can get it out of you, the faster you’ll be able to regain your dignity. So don’t fight the tears, just let them roll out of you, and focus on breathing deeply. This will calm you down, and also it’s the best way to stop yourself from making those weird hee-hee-heeaving sounds that I find way more embarrassing than the actual tears themselves.

As you breathe in and out, you have to actively focus on not thinking about what’s upset you to begin with. Instead of digging deeper into your pit of despair, go to your happy place, as those annoying self-help people always say. I don’t care if you have to think about puppies licking your face, or put a cloyingly upbeat song on your iPod, or picture a deadly worm crawling into the ear of the person who has upset you, just do whatever it takes to distract yourself enough to stem the tide of tears. Now is not the time to deal with your emotions, that’s better left for when you get home, where you can open your gaping wound back up and drink a glass of wine in the bathtub while you wallow in self pity and sob uncontrollably—you know, like sensible people do.

2. Play Dumb

Yes, inside you’re a hot mess and there is liquid shooting from your eyes, but there’s no reason anyone else has to know. Managing your outward appearance requires some serious mental multitasking, but it will make it easier for you (it provides yet another distraction) and also make everyone around you a bit more comfortable and less likely to embarrass you by giving you an unsolicited hug. So basically, you need to turn on your inner theater geek and act like even though your eyes are leaking, everything is fine. The one exception here is if you are having a full-on Sobapalooza, in which case there is no way you’re going to pull this off. You’ll just have to do your best to hide your face in your hands while you weep and moan like a dying hyena. (Hey, sometimes you just have to go for broke!) But assuming you’re having a run-of-the-mill woe-is-me moment, these are several ways to help yourself fake it ‘til you make it.

-Use props. Pretend like you’re reading a magazine or listening to a sad song. Or you’re all broken up because you’re watching a wrenching drama on your tiny iPhone screen. Or you’re on the phone. (You could actually call someone, but sometimes talking about why you’re sad makes you even more teary, so do this at your own risk!) These things all make it look like there’s a method to your madness, and people tend to ignore you more readily. Also, if you’ve just got a light teary eye, you can yawn a lot and rub your eyes in an effort to look like you're exhausted and/or have allergies.

-Stone face. If you have nothing to read/watch/listen to, adopt the classic “public space dead face.” Lock your eyes onto an imaginary object in the middle distance, grit your teeth just a tiny bit to give the illusion of a tough attitude, and look as bored with life as you can manage. The less vulnerable you look, the better. Also, if you have sunglasses in your bag, put them on — even if it is the middle of the night. Better to look like a drunk badass than a soppy mess. If you're outside, start walking in any direction as fast and with as much purpose as you can. With any luck, you'll eventually end up in front of a Starbucks and you can go in and use their bathroom. (It will probably be so gross that you'll want to cry, but hey, too late, you already are!)

-Keep interaction to a minimum. If a stranger (or even a well-meaning coworker) asks you what’s wrong, keep your answer simple. Something like “Eh, just a lousy day” or “I just have a terrible headache” is perfect. Chances are they’re just asking to make sure you aren’t in some kind of real danger, and the last thing they want is a 20-minute long explanation of how your spouse is a manipulative narcissist. Also, there is a chance that the person who asks if you’re okay is crazy or unpure of heart, and what you really don’t need in your fragile state is to pour your heart out to them and then have them say, “Shut up, you loser,” or worse, “Do you want to come back to my place?” (No, you do not!) If some well-meaning person offers you a tissue, take it, say “thanks,” and then go back to being stoic.

3. Pull Yourself Together

Eventually, hopefully after just a few minutes, your tears will subside. At that point, you’ll want to work on erasing all evidence of your breakdown. If you’re one of those people who looks pretty when you cry (so unfair!), then you’ve got nothing to worry about — just dab your eyes and get on with your charmed life. But if you’re like me, your eyes get all red and your face gets mottled-looking and you get congested and look like shit for at least half an hour after you’re done crying. In that case, you should find the nearest bathroom ASAP, blow your nose, and splash some cold water on your face. Pressing a cold, wet paper towel against your eyes is soothing, and take some deep breaths too, because, though I have no scientific proof, I feel like doing that makes you look more sane and confident. Of course, sunglasses indoors can again be your friend. (Except if you’re at work where it’s probably not worth looking like an idiot.) Stay in the bathroom (or wherever you've ducked into) as long as you need to regain your composure. If you find yourself feeling better because you've released your negative emotions, then by all means carry on with your plans for the day. But if you're still feeling raw or like another crying fit might be imminent, go right home and curl up in a ball if you can. If that's not an option, just go as easy as you can on yourself. Have some tea, call a friend, or spend a few hours watching cute cat videos online instead of working. You deserve it!

No matter how severe your eye showers were, it's very important that you not waste a second beating yourself up or feeling embarrassed about it. Sure, you lost it a little in front of some other people, but in the grand scheme of things it’s no big deal. Chances are you’ll never see any of them again, and even if you do they probably won’t be judging you. I mean, you’ve seen people cry in public, and you didn’t sit there thinking “what an asshole,” did you? No, you probably just felt bad for them for a second and then went back to thinking about your own depressing life. So, if it’s your day to be that guy who cries on the train, you just have to give yourself a little internal hug and move on. Of course, if you’re really feeling pitiful or you're sad that the cute guy you just walked past saw you looking weepy, I suppose you can add the shame you feel to the list of things you’ll cry about later in the bathtub!

Picture via Flickr



103 Comments / Post A Comment

Nadia

Wearing sunglasses when crying has helped me out a lot (including last week).

VictorVictrola

This. Also, focusing on breaking down the steps to do something. A melt-down in the elevator? Ok, I need to get dinner together, so I will turn on the electric kettle when I get inside the apartment, put the pan on the stove, turn it on, start cutting up onions first lengthwise then across into small little pieces, and then the hot water will have boiled and I'll put a pot on and dump the pasta in so it cooks faster, and then...

parla

PYNCHON UGHHHH.

atipofthehat

"Oedipa, perverse, had stood in front of the painting and cried. No one had noticed; she wore dark green bubble shades. For a moment she'd wondered if the seal around her sockets were tight enough to allow the tears simply to go on and fill up the entire lens space and never dry. She could carry the sadness of the moment with her that way forever, see the world refracted through those tears, those specific tears...." ~The Crying of Lot 49 (and there's the crying!)

avanikavita

Never did it, quit being friends with someone who did in my presence.

cherrispryte

Well aren't you just a pillar of fortitude.

melis

Just to be safe, you should probably quit being friends with people who sweat in public too.

Argyle

Well, I once broke up with a guy who said he couldn't stand "over-emotional" people like me (who cried once while we were dating). So I guess that makes the universe even.

tee
tee

Congratulations.

Bebe

Good tips - also, while deep breathing and trying to calm yourself down, try to relax the muscles in your face. Scrunching your face up like most of us do won't actually stop the tears. Relaxing your facial muscles will make you look (and feel) calmer.

rayray

I loved this. All crying fits are henceforth to be referred to as a 'full-on Sobapalooza'.

Bittersweet

Great advice. My go-to move when I'm about to lose it in public is to start thinking about someone I hate, whose ass I'd really like to kick. Then anger takes over the crying and I can feel the tears subside. Pushes the blood pressure up, but I'll take that over sobbing in public any day.

fleurdelivre

Girl, I cry in public like it's my hobby. I will use the sunglasses tip from now on!

Mariajoseh

Me too! actually, I just realized that I don't really cry on my own. Do I need an audience??. I'm an awful person....

thundertheft

I had the same realization. We can be awful people together.

Mariajoseh

we can call each other when we are alone and feel like crying!

notjenny

If you feel something coming on, pinch the skin web between your finger and thumb. For some reason, the tears are magically held back by this.

atipofthehat

Then you will realize that you have ruined your hand-webbing, and sob all the harder.

cherrispryte

This is also useful when trying to not fall asleep in meetings!

Lili L.

Handweb-pressing is also a mysterious cure for carsickness or bus-sickness. Handwebs rule.

notjenny

I have this weird thing where I involuntarily start to cry in some professional settings, and I almost pierced my web with my nails at my last day of my internship last summer. It's fine now. I have too many comments on the hairpin about the hand web.

Quick Brown Fox

Yep, I have done this. I find biting my lip helps, too. It probably just makes me think "Oh, ow!" instead of "Oh boo hoo," but it works!

rayray

Yeah, I recently find myself digging my nails reeeally hard into my palms. No-one can tell you're doing it really unless they look at your hands, and then they maybe think you're about to punch them and leave you alone.

mc coolfriend

@notjenny : Also true of in between the eyebrows, if you pinch the top (bridge?) of your nose. But every time I have to do it, I subsequently feel like what I actually just did was an interpretative dance move for "repression". Which is, you know, totally helpful and not at all counter intuitive when trying to be all stoic and poker faced.

kitten_witawip

I promise myself I can cry as much as I want when I get home. Sometimes that works. The good thing about LA is that you can cry in your car.

omgkitties

Big yes to car crying. Nothing like the quick walk outta work that gets more hurried and blurry as you get closer to the car door.

Tuna Surprise

I cry in the car all the time...the problem in NY is that your driver is trapped inside with you. One time a cab driver (while stopped at a light) turned around and said to me, "it's okay lady, you are better than him anyway." Thanks, cabbie!

shenannies

Put on the sunglasses immediately, if I think no one can see my eyes it brings me down from the ledge. Also, stay away from anyone who will be nice to you. This is a time when run-of-the-mill jerky NYers are so welcome, the rudeness cracks me out of tears. I see people (well women) cry frequently, it's all I can take to join in with them, poor things!

lafleur

As they say, you're not a real New Yorker until you cry on the subway. ::Reflective sigh::

katerrific

I cannot count the number of times I have cried on public transit. And sometimes I look around and think "everyone on this bus looks so sketchy," and then I realize that I, too, look sketchy, because I am crying on the damn bus.

tea tray in the sky.

That reference was legen- wait for it-

emilylou

I'm a big fan of the "allergies" excuse, or even the lame "I have something in my eye" ...if you're at the office or a public event or whatever, that's a pretty surefire way to book it to the bathroom without anyone asking unnecessary questions.

Also, yeah, definitely the sunglasses thing. The bigger, the better.

omgkitties

Oooh I am the Queen of Ugly Crying. Two words: eyelid swelling.

Lily Rowan

Oh girl, me too. Part of why I don't cry very much. "Luckily," the last time I had a full sobapalooza, it was in an airport. Awesome.

thenotestaken

After my last breakup my eyes were puffy for a full 24 hours afterwards!

shousto

I'm surprised one of the tips wasn't to just let the tears roll out and DON'T RUB YOUR EYES!!! That helps 100% with terrible eye swelling.

Trilby

First- I enjoy this site a lot but I don't think you need to stress advice quite so much. Maybe I'm one of the few older ladies here? But I already know how I want to handle most of life's situations. Maybe it's just me....

Anyway, I fondly remember a real balls-out cry I had on the subway a few years ago, after getting unexpectedly fired. I had a big box of my belongings from the office, my box of shame, if you will, and I didn't try to hide my tears or sobs, not at all. It was so unfair, I wanted the world to know, and satisfying just to let it out in a subway car full of strangers. And the sweetest young lady came over and assured me God had a plan and patted my back. She was like an angel. She gave me her business card (from some non-profit helping-type aggency), and we emailed back and forth a few times.

@lafleur-- I hear ya!

maevemealone

I was actually just thinking the same on the first point, but I also think I skew a bit older than the majority of the crowd here.

I've cried at this job twice, only once that anyone saw and that was by the only person here that I trust. I have a personal rule forbidding crying at work and was mortified each time that I broke it, but it happens...

Caitlin Podiak

I'm pretty sure I don't skew older than most Hairpin readers and I agree about not needing so many different advice posts.

Lily Rowan

I'm pretty old (I guess?) but I LOVE advice, especially q-and-a.

thundertheft

But, you can always just skip the articles you find uninteresting.

Also, if you already know how to handle "most" of life's situations then you deserve a ribbon! Or a pony!!

Napoleon

I'm probz one of the younger readers, but I love the advice. I feel like I'm getting primed for adulthood.

Now I will know how to be a classy crybaby whose eyebrows look terrific.

cherrispryte

Sunglasses are key. Also, if your hair is long at all, keep your head down so it covers the sides of your face, blocking out the damn world.

If you happen to work in downtown DC, there are great (dark, quiet) places to run to and cry in the Portrait Gallery, if you happen to work a few blocks away and frequently can not take it anymore. (Not just me! There are lots of people, from multiple offices, who do this!)

atipofthehat

If you see President Obama, tell him to keep his chin up.

cherrispryte

There is a specific installation on the American Art side that's like a teeny movie theatre. The name of it is escaping me at the moment. That's pretty much the weeping lounge.

automaticdoor

I live walking distance from the NPG. I'm going to have to go there the next time I'm, like, out on the sidewalk somewhere and am overcome with emotion. (I should have gone after the Georgetown-Syracuse game. *sigh*)

nerdicity

I wish we had a crying room at work with art on the walls. Someplace to calm the heck down that wasn't a bathroom or the stairwell.

brilliantmistake

Now I have this vision of wandering through the Portrait Gallery and finding artwork interspersed with nooks and crannies filled with sobbing DC workers. Perhaps they could designate a weeping lounge and consolidate?

peenerbambina

I can get a bit weepy, the worst thing about it is I tend to cry more if I am frustrated by something than anything else. And then I cry and people go "Well there is no need to get upset about it" and that makes me even more steamy,and I sob "I'm (heave) not (heave) upset I'm (heave) ANGRY!!!". My top tips include looking up. Literally, move your eyeballs skywards. You may look like you are about to have a seizure, but I personally find that preferable sometimes. And the old deep breathing is a goodun too.

metalkpretty

Oh, I cry when I get really angry - and that pisses me off so I cry even more. I hate that!

dabbyfanny

I had an asshole boyfriend once who, when we fought, would make me so mad I would cry, and then he'd jeer at me and accuse me of crying to win the argument and then I would totally lose my shit. Until the day I started crying and said "you know what, so what if I'm crying I am still going to make my point and get heard (you asswipe)" and he was so surprised he shut up, and I made my point and stopped crying. Just knowing that I could do that really helped.

Napoleon

UGH ME TOO. I start to get mad at my getting mad at my crying. Oh jeez.

le mango

Ohhh, I'm with you here. When you're fighting with someone, and then you start to cry, and they back down because they feel like an asshole for making you cry? That's THE WORST. I don't want to win because I'm crying, I want to win because I'm RIGHT!

blarg

Chewing gum sometimes works to keep the tears at bay.. I think it's similar to the hand web pressing thing in that it releases some of that built up tension.

But, once I let the floodgates open, it's all over.. Red swollen face for the rest of the day.

Quick Brown Fox

I always try to drink something. It works to keep the sobs at bay by drowning them in your throat. Of course, sometimes if I don't have a drinkable liquid at hand, it just makes me want to cry harder.

pixieg

You have your tears!

MishMushkila

I am a first year high school teacher, and apparently it is a thing that first year teachers are just sobbing wrecks whenever you don't see them. My colleagues spent a day telling me how they all used to have to pull over because they would cry so hard on the drive home while student teaching. I once had to do the hiding under a desk thing. For serious. Because mobs of 16 year olds are like dogs; they can smell fear and emotional vulnerability. Gotta keep that shit hidden.

thiscallsforsoap

Public cryers (criers?) A question! Do you prefer a solicitous attitude from bystanders (asking "are you okay" when you clearly aren't, and such), or a glazed look as they try to ignore the waterworks?

makingtrouble

usually i like to be left alone. personally. though one time i was sick on a bus on my way home, crying my ass off because i felt terrible and someone offered me a seat. it was very touching.

cherrispryte

Having been both a crier and a bystander, it depends! Mostly on the level of hysteria. If I'm clearly crying and yet trying to be silent/get a grip on myself/have my hands over my face, please ignore me. If I've completely lost it and look like I should not be walking down the street under my own recognizance, then get involved, if you so wish.

(As I've already outed myself as a frequent public crier, I would like to say that I am almost always the former and have only once, in my memory, been the latter.)

nerdicity

Totally agree. I frequently cry in public and mostly want to be left alone. Kind/sympathetic looks can never go wrong, except I might cry more because you're being nice to me.

plonk

there was a thorough discussion of this on ask mefi, with a variety of approaches and rationales!

tea tray in the sky.

I appreciate a solicitous attitude more I think, but I know I'm better off if they ignore me. If I think someone cares I'll get all emotional about it.

smartastic

if i am already crying, please say something. if i look like i might be ABOUT to cry, please do not under any circumstances ask me if i am ok, because that is a ticket to waterworks.

VodouDoll

When I see someone crying in public, I offer them a tissue. I don't want to ask if they're okay, because they're obviously not, and I don't want to ask what's wrong, because it's none of my business, and I don't want to tell them it'll be okay, because maybe it won't. But I've found that offering a tissue is a low-key way to acknowledge that I've noticed they're upset and offer some sympathy, and I've never had anyone turn me down.

atipofthehat

And then there's the opposite of crying uncontrollably in public, which I have done....

http://www.popmodal.com/video/584/Mary-Tyler-Moore-show

makingtrouble

oh dammit couldn't you guys have posted this earlier? yesterday was my 'cry at work in full view of customers and also while taking orders and unable to leave for a half hour and consequently yelled at" day. GEEZ HAIRPIN I THOUGHT YOU HAD MY BACK.

Better to Eat You With

How timely of you all. I've been trying not to cry at work all afternoon.

thundertheft

You can do this. Your internet cheerleaders are here!

kayjay

Oh you poor thing! It's going to be okay. And there's a conference room across the hall from my cube that is coated in 3 and a half years' worth of my tears.

It's a new day today, and very spring-like (at least over here on the east coast). Hope you made it through and came home to wine/good TV/giant pizza/S.O. who is a cunning linguist.

Xora

Why are y'all crying at work/in public so much? Enquiring minds.

thundertheft

Why I've Cried at Work: Stress. Feelings of inadequacy. Frustration in general. Fears of the unknown. Fears of the known.

I mean, I spend more time at the office than any other single place. I feel pretty comfortable here, so sometimes this where emotional shit just gets worked out. Then again, I don't give a damn and I'll just cry and when someone says "are you alright?" I usually respond with "no - if I was alright, I would NOT be crying"

nerdicity

A million reasons. perfectionism run amok. being too tired/hormonal. reading sad stories about dogs during lunch. you name it.

melis

My dog had died the night before and I somehow thought that taking a personal day was unnecessary. I was wrong! Luckily, my coworkers were marvelous and sent me home, a mewling mess, at lunch.

cherrispryte

Sleep deprivation combined with stress, frustration, and being forced to interact with genuinely unpleasant people.

I also just realized that I cry far more frequently at work than I do at home.

cosmia

I've cried at work twice. Once it was because of a migraine, and the second time was because my ex of two weeks thought it was a good time to inform me over instant messenger that he was sleeping with a new girl.

charmcity

This reminds me of the time my mom called as I was leaving work to tell me that my favorite uncle needed emergency surgery. I got on the train and started sobbing uncontrollably, freaking out all the other commuters except one woman who cheerily handed me a Jehovah's Witness tract as she exited and told me that I should "pray it out!"
Thanks, lady!

thundertheft

Why I've Cried at Work: Stress. Feelings of inadequacy. Frustration in general. Fears of the unknown. Fears of the known.

I mean, I spend more time at the office than any other single place. I feel pretty comfortable here, so sometimes this where emotional shit just gets worked out. Then again, I don't give a damn and I'll just cry and when someone says "are you alright?" I usually respond with "no - if I was alright, I would NOT be crying"

thundertheft

Whoops, this was supposed to be a reply to a different comment.

Fucking IE6. Yeah, 6.

thundertheft

Two weeks ago I was on the train with a girl who got a call that her young cousin had just died. She completely lost it. I moved across the aisle, sat down next to her, held her hand and even ended up crying with her (I'm so not that person, but I felt moved so I went with it). I sat with her while she called her office and told her that I would be glad to take the phone if she wasn't able to carry on the conversation. Another dude on the train came over with a set of rosary beads and prayed wtih her in Spanish.

Everyone else on the train sat stoic, pretending like nothing had just gone down. I was glad to be one of the people crying that day.

adminslave

My most memorable public-cry happened freshman year in High School. It was the first anniversary of my mother's death, and I was stuck in a mini-van going to my second school of the day (I was in an art magnet program, we would carpool from regular to magnet school midday) with all the other girls who attended the program. The mother of one of the girls was driving and three other girls were around me. No one did anything. Finally, I turned to the girl closest to me who had been a close friend, told her my mother had died a year ago on that day, and she said in a really weird voice, "My condolences." That is probably when I stopped considering her a friend (the fact that she took up with heroin shortly after didn't help either!).

The real point of this is: crying in public as a teen sucks, and having a father who won't let you take the day off on the anniversary of your mother's death sucks more.

nerdicity

I am a pretty frequent/easy crier, as I tend to feel pretty strongly about things. I've cried at work and on the train SO MUCH. I have always ended up going to the stairwell to do my quality work crying. I've also had enough so much at work one day that when I went down to pick something up from the receptionist, she looked at me so kindly that I just burst into tears like someone died. She looked horrified, but she did give me a hug. I couldn't even explain why I was sobapalooza.

My sister gave the the trick that you can't crying while drinking water, so I always end up bringing a cup of water with me when I have to confront people about things I am sure it looks strange, but it really has worked for me.

I do enjoy crying in the shower because you can wash your face immediately and it reduces the eventual swelling.

martinipie

Oh god, the latest and worst was at the end of last semester when I found out my flight home had been cancelled due to snow at Heathrow. I am always a wreck at the end of a semester but manage to hold it together until I see my mom in the airport--but not this time. The airline put all of the stranded people on a bus to a hotel, and I cried the whole time before the bus, on the bus, getting off the bus, and straight to my hotel room, where I cried some more, just for fun.

Nice people are saviors. One lady handed me a tissue from the seat behind me and said "You just get in bed when we get to that hotel, honey, okay?"

smartastic

this isn't a crying story, but one time i was clearly nervous during take off (i have a mild but sometimes not so mild fear of flying), and the older lady sitting next to me held my hand until we leveled out. it was one of the nicest moments i've ever had with a stranger.

tea tray in the sky.

I've never been much of a crier until the past year or so, but now I cry at everything. The other day my eyes started to well up when my mom told me she missed me over the phone. I also cried watching an episode of Futurama. I'm getting a little worked up thinking about that episode.

thiscallsforsoap

Give the next dog you see a hug.

tea tray in the sky.

OHMYGODthatwastotallytheepisode

Becky Russo@facebook

@thiscallsforsoap OMG I HAVE SO CRIED DURING THIS EPISODE

retrovertigo

I didn't realize how often I cry in public until I read this. I'm not an overly emotional person, but sometimes when I'm really down and left to my own thoughts (usually in a lecture class or on the train/bus) i just well up.

There was a month long period last year of severe emotional heartache and general feelings of worthlessness where I cried to myself spontaneously in class. I had an epic breakdown in the bank two months ago after being unexpectedly fired from my job. That was good.

The worst thing is that I am an UGLY crier. For real. My nose gets red and puffy and my pores instantly expand. You can tell for hours after if i have been crying.

adriana

I thought I was the only one who randomly welled up? Good to know I'm not. And chin up: we're not worthless!

Lili L.

It turns out my favorite place to cry in public is Target.

toondeef

I started monitoring this site because someone said it would be a good way to learn what groovy new things the youngsters are into. Turns out you're all afraid of getting pubic hairs in your mouth, you have to teach yourselves to eat raw tomatoes, and you cry on the train. This whole outfit is in serious need of some oldsplanation.

melis

Yeah, turns out there's a learning curve to being alive! Luckily, by the time we bury you, I'm sure we'll have it all sorted out. Thanks for stopping by!

Heike

Worst crying experience was when my tears could be for something else going on- I was dumped by my partner of 4 years, at the end of a holiday so we got seperate flights and I flew back alone, feeling really crappy.
During the flight the lights were dimmed and we were forced to watch a terrible film about Christian Slater having a baboon's heart transplant then dying. I wasn't really watching as I was enjoying a good cry, when the man sitting next to me turned and said "That was the worst film I ever saw", then realised I was sitting with tears streaming down my face.
We were both really embarrassed and I was too depressed to explain that I wasn't crying about the cheesy film. He ignored me for the other 8 hours of the flight.

Flora Poste

I cried when I got to the Greyhound bus station (my first time in the US). I'd been travelling for 36 hours. So I bought a ticket for the next bus, which then left without me because they told me to wait in the wrong place, and the next one wasn't for 5 hours. I then just completely lost all control- heaving sobs, "I'm just sooo tired" over and over again. I don't think this was what they expected from a Brit, but my stiff upper lip had well and truly dissolved! Also, those bus stations are just horrible!

cherrispryte

Greyhound bus stations are the worst.

Flora Poste

I cried when I got to the Greyhound bus station (my first time in the US). I'd been travelling for 36 hours. So I bought a ticket for the next bus, which then left without me because they told me to wait in the wrong place, and the next one wasn't for 5 hours. I then just completely lost all control- heaving sobs, "I'm just sooo tired" over and over again. I don't think this was what they expected from a Brit, but my stiff upper lip had well and truly dissolved! Also, those bus stations are just horrible!

Jennifer Bridges@facebook

ahh, but the worst is wearing glasses, which then proceed to fog up. there's no hiding that.

litagatrix

i'm also an ugly crier (nose gets bright red if i even start to think about shedding a tear) and on top of that, crying just a little can give me a migraine. so it's all about prevention-- avoid crying at *any* cost. thanks for the additional tips!

Amy L. Keyishian@facebook

you guyyyyys the new york times reads you!

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/04/20/look-at-me-im-crying/

triple n@twitter

thank you for this article. my mother was just diagnosed with cancer. i foresee a lot of public crying.

jack71

Excellent article. Very interesting to read. I really love to read such a nice article dieta detox. Thanks! keep rocking!

vikash

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