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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

38

Surreal Bra Ads From the Past

When she is not being carried aloft by bra-mobiles, Lamar Clarkson writes for Architectural Record.

38 Comments / Post A Comment

rayray

The juxtaposition of the phrases 'its so sexy!' and 'available in beige' just had me LOLing to myself.

ThundaCunt

cuz isnt beige oooo so sexy!!??

shenannies

The Curvallure ad kind of looks like it's going to burst into a Busby Berkeley-esque configuration. Yay for that!

shenannies

Also why is the bear mauling that lady?

atipofthehat

@shenannies: Are you sure? I thought it was Balk and Edith at the 2010 Awl Holiday Party.

shenannies

Ha! I'm so sorry I missed it.

Anna Marquardt

Yes! I would like to have that hat, I think. But with my friends' pictures on it.

Lindsay McEllen James

Whoa is that Nipple Bra really $2000???

ThundaCunt

pretty sure that is a 20.00

ajlobster

Either that or the nipples are made of GOLD

MoonBat

Nipple bra!?!?!? 70's ladies weren't afraid of their nipples??? Even in *gasp* t-shirts???

ThundaCunt

and what if you have this fake ass nipple bra and really have nipples the size of silver dollars!!?? what then?? you take a guy home...he's thinking you have little frozen pizza pepperoni sized nipples and you whip the bra off to reveal whole sliced pepperoni sized nipples!! THE SHAME!!

MoonBat

Whereas the Maidenform ladies' dates are just shocked to find out that they don't, in reality, have perfectly conical tits. Oh, the GEOMETRY!

claudettecolbert

Or what if your real nipples show through the fake-nipple bra, making you look like you have four nipples? Twice the sexy!

matilda wormwood

at this point you would both be too coked up and disco-addled to worry about it. Also, get a load of his leisure suit. It's time to get naked and stop this farce.

ThundaCunt

holy shit!!! the fake nipple bra?? LMAAAOOOO!! maidenform bras are bullshit!! and apparently always have been...an eskimo? GTFOH with that shit!! i would however, like to try that "laughing bra" totes want to see what thats about!!

sp8ce

Nipple bra is a great idea.

theharpoon

One time, I was walking to the corner store for some milk in the morning, and I was all, "Why should I put on a bra? I haven't even showered yet" and some dude catcalled me (from his truck, of course) because he could see my nipples. WAS IT YOU, SPATES???

krr88a

I rather like this one. Its for all THREE figure types.

Bittersweet

That last one looks like the ad team wandered into a Dali picture by mistake.

theinvisiblecunt

It's like being in a sexy surrealist museum. The second one puts in mind an american lez take on Frida Kahlo. Self Portrait with a Lady Hat, or, Radical Titties On My Mind

Jane Marie

i love that your name is lamar! but i was also very excited about some young black dude being obsessed with vintage bra ads.

tuntastica

Ohhhh I thought that bear was going to rip that lady's face open.

fleurdelivre

The Nipple Bra...so you can pretend you burned your other ones!

theinvisiblecunt

That maidenform campaign rules. More ads should be based on thoughts too inconsequential for even twitter, it's like a brief glimpse into the inner lives of the obviously lonely copywriters. Ideas:

•FML, some asshole cut me off in traffic today while I was wearing my maidenform bra
•My favorite cheftestant was eliminated on Top Chef: All Stars last night and I'm so mad I could tear my maidenform bra in half, I'm not even kidding
•I've been doing a lot of thinking in my maidenform bra and I just don't feel the new Asobi Seksu album measures up to Hush or even Citrus
•You guys, I dreamt I was back in high school and the AP bio exam was today and I was FREAKING OUT because I haven't taken bio in years and if I didn't pass, I'd have to take college level bio and actually dissect shit and I just worked too hard in that class to throw it all away and when I got there the test was 500 pages long and entirely in Russian anyway and you have NO idea how relieved I was to wake up and put on my maidenform bra

sammyisadog

I'll be honest: I'm intrigued by the Nipple Bra. I'd just really love to try one on! Maybe wear one to something fancy and do a social study on reactions!

pollykettle

i have this theory that rachel from friends was always wearing a nipple bra. because how could her boobs look like that, unaided, every episode?

maevemealone

She put ice cubes on them before every shot, apparently.

Ella Quint

@maevemealone The female equivalent of 'fluffers - what lucky stage hand do ya think got that job?

Thinking about it some more, it was prolly some 80 year old eastern european lady with a perma-smoke clamped between her lips. Lot more likley.

Sharada Prasad Mohanty

I love all the stuff.But is there any bra for CAROL ?
http://funnyandspicy.com/carol-ortiz-has-gigantic-breastsdesperate-for-reduction-surgery

marie

this is really sad.

marie

can only think of mittens.

inbed

i also love that someone had to come up with the copy for those weird-ass 'i dreamed.." maidenform ads. "guess whose figure is going around in arctic circles"? it barely even makes sense. but i guess the nonsensical prose was negated by the thrill of seeing a lady in her brassiere.
jill
http://inbedwithmarriedwomen.blogspot.com

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