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I know what you’re thinking about. You’re thinking about newspaper comics. You’re wondering why there aren’t any newspaper comics for people like you: successful, sophisticated women in full bloom, enjoying life to the fullest with no apologies. Well, that’s all about to change.

Welcome to RELATIONSHAPES, a comic created exclusively for the modern woman.

It’s relationships from a new “point of view”— the point of view of GEOMETRIC SHAPES. Simply print these out and staple them onto your local newspaper’s comics page, and: BINGO BANGO, now you have a world-class newspaper!

I’m not necessarily saying every single one is a masterpiece, but I am saying that every single one is framed in gold, which is a pretty sure sign that, yes, okay, fine: Every single one is a masterpiece.

And the best part? No boys allowed. They wouldn’t understand it anyway, those idiots.

THIS JUST IN: A voicemail message from Dr. Phil about Relationshapes!

Hey, RELATIONSHAPES, it’s me. Just wanted to say: Keep those comics coming… keep those emotions and relationships coming… keep those great geometric shapes coming… I love you.”

David Rees is a former political cartoonist. Now he is an artisanal pencil sharpener.


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