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Meet Mr. Bra, the Heavy-Breathing Middle-Aged Lingerie Enthusiast
"I've fitted 10-, 12-, 13-year-old girls," says Mr. Bra of Phoenix, the bra aficionado who cares about breasts. And butts, too, if you stick around for minute 11 (not encouraged).
After they finished shooting this video, Mr. Bra's assistant dry-heaved in the parking lot, then went home and washed herself with lye, presumably.
[Via]
00:32 wipes sweat off his brow. And that is how far I got into this video.
I made it 1:57 which is after he's said "breast" like 5 times and "nipple" at least once and then the girl awkwardly smiled as he announced her cup size. Then I threw my hands up and yelled, "DONE."
…how is this video 15 minutes long?????
WHAT ELSE HAPPENS?
DEAR GOD, THERE'S A SONG AND DANCE NUMBER INVOLVING A GARGANTUAN FAKE BREAST. DO NOT WATCH AT 13:30 ONWARD (except for the part when he's reading the signs that explain all the different varieties they carry, and "BRA FITTING 101 PART 4" is in the pile, but he just goes with it.)
additionally, being able to see juuuust part of some dude standing just outside the dressing room for most of the video is highly unsettling. plaid curtain!
My eyes! Why is it that when advised not to do something I immediately do it? I need to scrub my brain clean now.
I got as far as "The breast tissue is so…important…" before I turned it off. That sweat-wipe was pretty intense, too. Ughh.
And as a less-endowed lady, my mind is boggled–that is NOT how a bra is supposed to fit, IS IT?!!?!?
No, no, no. Her boobs look about 50 feet too wide. Ohhh the bunching *shudder*. I was already dubious when the sign held up at the beginning shows just the word "blow" in the background.
That's the most ill-fitting bra I've ever seen. That's so crazy BAD. I'm not even going to press play.
I'm guessing Mr. IUD is sill available?
So I stuck it out to minute 11… More disturbing than the padded underwear?… The crazy breathing chant he does over a techno beat… "Call me Mr Bra, Call me Mr Bra". Feeling a little violated Mr Bra…don't think I will call you. But strangely, I would totally watch the music video he's sure to put out any day now.
At least skip ahead to the 13:20 mark for some pure marketing genius!
He's measuring wrong!
I dunno if I'm the only one, but this guy seems respectful, he's totally geeked out on the subject, and I find his practicality encouraging, sort of used car salesman meets Judith Butler, "It's all the performance of looking good, bingo zingo, oolala!" And no, I don't know him from Bob. I just hate bra shopping and wish it were more like going to a good car mechanic.