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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

21

Why Do Guys _____? Why Do Girls _____?

A few days ago my boyfriend and I were lying in bed discussing some mysterious function of the male anatomy — no, I CANNOT recall exactly what — so I decided to Google it. Maybe I was drunk or something, but instead of putting the medical term into the search like an ADULT, I started with "Why do guys..." like a 13-year-old moron. Well, 13-year-old morons must be the only people ever Googling that because the Top 10 things Google guessed I was wondering about are:

Why DO guys like breasts!? Whyyy! Also, cheating, lying, and Asians.

Unfortunately none of those were what I was trying to Google (though two were on the right path, but can you guess which two? Haha.)

Here's what happens with "Why do girls...."

Periods, periods, and blood all over the place. My in-depth and well researched analysis of these outcomes proves that 13-year-old girls are scared of erections and already know that men can be the worst, and that 13-year-old-boys are scared of periods and already know that men can be the worst.

What would the rules be in a Period, Erection, Jerk version of Rock, Paper, Scissors?

21 Comments / Post A Comment

Bonnie Downing

When I was 13 there was no google! We had to get answers from our health teacher, who actually gave way too many answers, on way too many topics, in way too much detail.

Tiffy Thompson

you can also see the secretly racist things people think in the 'privacy' of their homes. try 'black women are...', 'white men are...", "american women are..." etc. Nauseating.

atipofthehat

This is a well-known memeset. Check failbog.org and you'll see many. Also ones beginning with "How..."

atipofthehat

http://failblog.org/2011/02/08/epic-fail-photos-autocomplete-me-i-like-to/

atipofthehat

http://failblog.org/2011/02/01/epic-fail-photos-autocomplete-me-im-having-trouble/
http://failblog.org/2011/01/27/epic-fail-photos-autocomplete-me-what-happens-when/
http://failblog.org/2011/01/25/epic-fail-photos-autocomplete-me-what-happens-when-i/
http://failblog.org/2011/01/20/epic-fail-photos-autocomplete-me-is-hogwarts/
http://failblog.org/2011/01/18/epic-fail-photos-autocomplete-me-how-to-get-my-mom-to/

cloudmir

The failblog ones are tagged by http://failblog.org/tag/autocomplete-me/

One of the better racist ones: http://failblog.org/2010/08/16/epic-fail-photos-autocomplete-me-racism-fail/

Also: http://www.searchenginepeople.com/blog/google-autocomplete-fails.html

cloudmir

This is a pretty terrifying glimpse of humanity too: http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/aol-search-log.php

forrealz

"smell like fish".... um, what? is this srsly on the minds of dudes??

hungrybee

Little dudes, perhaps? Little dudes with curiosity now have Google. The "fish smell" was hot gossip in the 3rd grade, as I recall, and 3rd grade me was obviously confused. With puberty so far in the future, there were no smells anywhere on my person besides soap, candy, stickers, etc.

sp8ce

Im a 28 y/o guy and Im still trying to figure out why some women smell like that and how I can predict ahead of time which will and wont. Its real, and I think it has to do with diet.

isavedlatin

Period, Erection, Jerk is the new Fuck, Marry, Kill.

Patrick M

Are you there, Google? It's me Margaret

Shermanther

Yeah I Google-predict stuff all the time when I'm bored. My last favorite was "Is Tyler Perry". Also: http://tumblr.com/xqe1d9kh8o

nonvolleyball

haha, I love the separate drop-down for "is Tyler Perry gay 2010"--I just picture someone going, "well what about NOW?!"

Christina Tina

if i had a memeset for everytime someone said memeset.

memesets inside of memesets inside of memesets inside of memesets.

Shirley Temple Of Doom

Favorite from my recent research:
How do girls... master bat. (3rd option)

leonstj

So this was too funny, and I tried to verify. I am terrified of the world now. With the google "Live search" i typed in "How do girls" and the webpages were about squirting, making girls 'come with your tongue', "how do girls know when they're finished?" and 10 things guys wish girls knew.

I changed "girls" to "women" - NOTHING but yeast infection questions.

I changed "women" to "ladies" (my preferred term) - ALL ABOUT PREGNANCY

"chicks" - all about baby chickens (aww)

Jon Custer

Once I was searching for something like 'What attracts foreign direct investment' (I swear!) and Google's Suggestions for 'What attracts _____ ' were: men, wasps, flies, moths, ants, you to this position, women to men, a man to a woman, women, and rats.

Also, a while back I was Googling to find out how soon after my girlfriend started her birth control we could stop using condoms -- apparently the doctor didn't tell her this? -- and every single result was about how soon after STOPPING birth control you could get pregnant. I guess that's not really the same thing though.

Mrs. Brown's Lovely Daughter

Doesn't everyone like breasts? I mean, even most of the gay dudes I know are totally into the boobies. They're fun, and squishy, and totally awesome in pretty much every way. What's not to love?

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